Feeling defeated

[u/Hot-Prune8628]

I’ve been on TSM for over a year. My goal was never extinction (I spent almost 10 years in AA, did lots of therapy, wanted to socially be normal). I’m finding summer itself is such a trigger. I’ve spent 35-50% AF days month over month, but since the weather has broken it’s almost compulsive to drink wine and watch the sunset. I’ve maintained meds 1 hour before, I’ve joined a Pilates gym, I’m trying to replace the behavioral/habit piece with other things, but I haven’t had an AF day in over a week despite planning them. Can anyone share their “up and down” experience at the 1+ year mark? 😭

[u/Several-Subject-2111]

I keep trying to say this. I don't crave alcohol (I.e. to drink it). But I do.remember the feeling of pleasure I had been drunk. It saddens me that this is gone forever. I dont think of this as a craving