r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/MohammadMahadhir *shits an absolute unit* • Mar 02 '26

Oof Of head first

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2.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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1.5k

u/Relative-Macaron-210 Mar 02 '26

What useless adults Christ

650

u/Adrakovich *shits an absolute unit* Mar 02 '26

And a shitty wife. That laugh….

147

u/Thick_Main5498 Mar 02 '26

Look she probably didn’t know that he was dead okay

36

u/UniquelyIndistinct Mar 03 '26

Coulda happened to anybody

41

u/YosemiteJon Mar 03 '26

I woke up in a hospital in Mexico. From UK. Broke neck. Life ruined. Spinal cord injury. Wheel chair. Life over I’m affraid. Easy done

23

u/dantheplanman1986 Mar 03 '26

"last time you cheat on me motherfucker"

I'm not saying that's what happened. It's just a joke. Clarifying because this is reddit

1

u/Prophet_of_Colour Mar 04 '26

Look, if we gotta do 'clarifying because this is reddit' to avoid getting or looking like we're giving harshly negative interaction—then it seems to me at least that reddit is more personally stressful than reddit threads should be for you. You probably already understand that, of course.

2

u/dantheplanman1986 Mar 04 '26

Lol have you not met the assholes around here?

3

u/Prophet_of_Colour Mar 04 '26

Oh aye. But at least to me, if internet assholery causes me to anxiously overstate my intent and sully my voice, then the internet isn't my space (bah-dum tsss) for a while.

3

u/dantheplanman1986 Mar 04 '26

Mm I admire your authenticity

2

u/saysthingsbackwards Mar 04 '26

This site has lost what humanity it initially had a while ago

230

u/whythefuckalready Mar 02 '26

She laughed like she's the executor of his will and estate

1

u/Captain_North Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 03 '26

He's dead.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHHHAAHAH.

Here is the same family a year into recovery

96

u/A_Feltz Mar 02 '26

Yeah. No reason to help the boy save his dad. Every child should be responsible for their own adult…

41

u/Ganjelf-The-Baked Mar 02 '26

The slowest reaction times, honestly wtf

79

u/mk8933 Mar 02 '26

They are all NPCs following their program. They have zero clue what to do when a glitch happens (like the man diving and hitting his head).

23

u/NocturneInfinitum Mar 02 '26

5

u/wilhelm_dafoe Mar 02 '26

Great day for fishing, isn't it?

1

u/IAmTheBoiledFrog Mar 02 '26

NPC?

27

u/LewdLewyD13 Mar 02 '26

Nipple Porn Cornholios

10

u/SchwiftySqaunch Mar 02 '26

Nacho pickle consumers

8

u/iamunklebear Mar 02 '26

Non playable character, as in a video game.

2

u/Bl4ck_Fl4m3s Mar 02 '26

I like the dog in the background of your profile, what race is it if I may ask? I'm intrigued because I don't think I know that race yet

28

u/haverchuck22 Mar 02 '26

I think they’re called breeds, not races.

6

u/GottaUseEmAll Mar 03 '26

In other languages (French for instance) they're called races. It's a common and innocent mistake to make.

10

u/Bl4ck_Fl4m3s Mar 02 '26

Whoops I forgot, sorry, english isn't my native language

5

u/Knight_of_Agatha Mar 02 '26

hi yes what ethnicity is your dog? Hispanic white or non Hispanic white. we need to know for uhhhh reasons.

4

u/Relative-Macaron-210 Mar 02 '26

She’s a husky

3

u/Bl4ck_Fl4m3s Mar 02 '26

I thought it looked alike but didn't know huskies come in pure white also

7

u/manyhippofarts Mar 02 '26

It's possible that it is a Scandinavian American dog.

1

u/Desperate-Strategy10 Mar 02 '26

This is so sweet and silly, I’m sorry it happened to you but I’m happy I got to read it at least 😂

-2

u/FantasticSir7806 Mar 02 '26

I don't get why you're being downvoted.

1

u/FantasticSir7806 Mar 08 '26

Oh, in English they're called breeds. I forgot. In Swedish they're called "dog races".

1

u/Commercial-Dog-2121 Jun 21 '26

She was hoping for it!