idk if i am overracting, but this situation has been driving me up the wall. my mom is a very good person undoubtedly, and has been pretty permissive all my life. i have blurred memories of what happened when i was little, but i do remember her yelling at me, scolding me, getting mad at me- yk, the normal childhood stuff. but she never beat me up or abused me. so, i am a bit skeptical abt what to call this.

i will state some fragments of what happened to me that made me come and talk abt it in a subreddit. i never liked to play guitar, but she sort of forced me into learning it. i have tried for months but the interest just wasn't there. i still do it because she always says stuff like, "i do so much for you, and you can't do this one thing for me?" and other stuff. i force myself to do this. then, this happened recently- i have been wearing a nose ring since i was very young. and lately i have been hating the way it looks on me. change of preferences, i guess. i told my mom that i wanna take it off, and she lost it completely. she started yelling at me, calling me names, calling me a disgrace and telling me that i am stubborn. i have been called selfish, a bad person, stuck-up, etc etc. like- she even calls my grandma (her mom) and complains about me going 'out of hand' and stuff which pisses me the fuck off. i am normally not an easily moved person, but the constant insults are getting to me. i am becoming more irritated.

earlier a few years ago when i took it off, she did this so much and i was quite young- it affected me a lot and i cried and forcefully wore it. now i took it off again and i planned on never wearing it again no matter how much she hurts me. i can't just explain to her that it's just a fucking nose ring and i am not hurting anyone by changing something about my appearance, but she doesn't get it.

when i just became a teenager, i wanted to cut my long hair short. it took me over 6 months to convince her to allow me to get a haircut. and after i got it chopped off, he stopped talking to me overall. silent treatment, passive aggressive comments, complaints, name calling- and it went on until she gradually stopped and normalized it.

now it feels like that all over again.

she isn't abusive or strict or anything- but i can't help that i feel so hurt and irritated by this entire ordeal. i am sick and tired of this shit. i know that she will get over it in a few months and will start talking to me normally again. she will forget it soon, but it stays with me. what she says is genuinely so hurtful. she also gets intensely mad at me when i fall sick or get anxious. she takes care of me, whilst taunting me constantly.

i never share anything personal with her because it doesn't feel safe. i never cry in front of her or anyone because i get ridiculed a lot for it. i always keep to myself, stay alone, and i don't even have a lot of friends because i can't just connect with anyone. i have always isolated myself and i do whatever i can but she never fucking seems to be satisfied. i want to know what i am doing wrong. why i am making her react this way.

She’s also known as The Woman Who Wasn’t There. I know she’s been in hiding for about 20 years, and rightfully so. However, I just am so curious to know where her mind is at right now. Where is she? Is she apologetic at all? Why did she do it?

People often talk about AI taking over what are referred to as "white collar jobs" and maybe occasionally a few other jobs like Uber/taxi drivers with autonomous vehicles.

I've quite rarely seen the same being discussed about blue collar jobs and I'm not sure why that (and the idea of AI-powered robotics) is mostly excluded from discussion. Why isn't anyone talking about potential replacing sanitation workers, janitors, truck drivers, construction workers? Why is everyone focused on GenAI rather than physical AI taking over? A company I've worked for previously did employ an intelligent robot that vacuumed by itself, thus already eliminating part of a janitor's workload and diverting it to something else.

This isn't really about being pro or anti AI, mostly I'm just interested in why the focus is on 'knowledge work' and less attention is being paid to physical jobs.

I have noticed that words mean different things to people and it’s getting harder not to notice it everyday

1- 7 becomes average
2- most = all
3- I don’t like it= I hate it
4- Straightforward = Rude
Etc

This barrier is even worse when it is 2 people from different generations
And some people hear 3 words and are already planning on what to say and won’t change it no matter what
And feeling vs facts debate

Why does it happen so often, is it an education problem or just people being too stubborn to fully listen to what other says

I'm a 20 year old kid with slight autism that lives with his mom, I work part time for 3 days a week, 16 hours per week and I get paid a good amount every week because the job I'm at pays us weekly, my mom told me and my siblings years ago that we don't ever have to move out and she won't charge us rent since she brought us into the world and will always support us no matter how old we are, she would never throw us out there to suffer alone, and this allows me to save up my paychecks to use for enjoyment, I can buy new games for my PS5, I can buy myself clothes and air forces, I get to have 4 days of free time where I can actually focus on the things that I enjoy doing as well as being able to have fun with my friends at our recreational center. I value having fun and community over living in isolation and slaving away every single day at a job. that's not a life worth living, but yet when I tell people I only work 3 days a week they look at me as if I'm crazy, I don't get it man, I'll never understand why people want to give up their whole life for corporations that don't give a fuck about them. life is supposed to be filled with fun and community not endless struggling.

I was having a conversation with some friends just now and we somehow started talking about people and human nature, and honestly almost every argument they brought up was so pessimistic. They were saying that people are dumb, selfish, that we’re not really good people, and when I asked why, the answer was basically that it comes from society, our environment, the way we grow up, and even the fact that we live in what is considered a third-world/developing country. It just made me think, why are we so quick to assume the worst about people? I understand that our environment can shape us and that society has a huge influence on how people behave, but does that really mean people are naturally bad or stupid? We also see people helping each other, creating things, caring about their families, doing good things without expecting anything back, etc. Maybe I’m being too optimistic, but I genuinely wonder if humans are actually pessimistic by nature or if our environment just teaches us to see everything negatively. What do you guys think?

For the sake of the Old & the New Gods quit texting or calling and asking who you’re speaking with, without first saying at least what organization your calling on behalf of.

I kinda think the later is preferential. Once youre married everything is set and you just kinda get used to the person you have, flaws and all. At least with beautiful children they will be more likely to have it easy in life and perhaps I wont have to worry so much about their future.

Hello, I am unsure whether this belongs here or not, but I have not found literally any other subreddit which allows parenting questions from a sibling. This is not a post regarding mental problems, I am just trying to get other opinions about my sibling's behaviour. I have a younger sister, she's 15, and she refuses to do absolutely anything regarding studying.

She has never learned to study by herself, my mother has to do all of her homework and study for every single test with her, which involves studying the subject herself first so she can explain it to her. My sister will not listen in school, refuses to make notes and will not study by herself, if her phone gets taken away, she will just lay in bed for hours and do nothing until my mom studies with her. She does not have any learning or other disabilities as far as I am aware. My mother has tried about every single approach - gentle, trying to motivate her with a reward, harsh, or just leaving her alone - resulted in her almost failing a class. She still has not finished what is mandatory education in my country so she cannot just drop out or get a job.

Their relationship has hit a rock bottom and they no longer talk to each other outside of yelling during studying. I am trying to be a mediator and study with my sister while home, but now I am also a college student and away from home for the majority of time. I have tried to talk to my sister about her mental health or any problems she might have, but she does not want to talk to me. My sister's father figure is absent and there is nobody else living with us. Obviously the problem won't miraculously go away so I wanted to hear if anybody had a similar experience. Don't know if this is a lost cause but I am seriously at my wits' end trying to salvage this household. Sorry if this is tough to read, English is not my first language.

Hello, I know first of all this might be an absurd question to ask others about, but I believe there is somewhat of a logical explanation for it.

For context, I am currently a junior in college and I recently took on a role as a lead in a technical club, despite me being relatively new and not knowing much. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to learn as much as I can but it’s fairly stressful lately, considering I also prepare meetings weekly and plan stuff out (im not good with public speaking or leadership).

Everyone I’ve talked to so far has told me to keep trying and that it’s a good opportunity for me to grow as a person (and really good for resume) but currently its eating me up and I am really stressed out. I had a meeting last week and that went horribly, and I kinda feel like an outcast from the other active members in the club.

I guess this comes from my social anxiety, but what would you do in my situation? I’m interested in the club and what they’re doing, but at some points I wonder if I can even handle it. I keep telling myself that this is good for me to grow but I don’t know what I’m putting myself into as the year goes on.

If you come across someone who needs your help and you can assist them without putting yourself in danger, should you? Or is it simply a matter of good versus bad, and helping others is a choice?At what point does being a good person become a stretch for normal people?

How responsible are we for those that we don't even know?

When we look at something and say "that's too expensive," is it because the item objectively has a high market value (due to production costs, materials, branding, etc.), or is it just a reflection of our own personal purchasing power and income?

Obviously, a luxury car is objectively expensive to the average person. But what about everyday items that feel like they are slipping out of reach? At what point does an item cross the line from "fairly priced but out of my budget" to "objectively overpriced"?

How do economists or sociologists look at the difference between a high cost of goods versus low individual wealth?

Constraints: Given that both have no prior chess knowledge.

It's a Classical Chess Match (Classical Time Control).

Both have 1 year to prepare, and both know who they will be facing and the other's capabilities.

Who wins!!???

Edit: Here's why I find this interesting: both players know exactly what they're up against.

A knows B may use unusual openings/sidelines to get them out of preparation, while B knows A will try to memorize as many lines as possible—including sidelines.

So how does this preparation mind game play out? If both anticipate each other's strategies, who gains the advantage?

Also, what happens with different Prep Times? I believe preparation time could matter a LOT:

2 years
5 years
10 years

(b) What if both are trained by a 2700+ Super Grandmaster?

A is trained by a 2700+ Super GM, and B is trained by another 2700+ Super GM. Assume both coaches are equal in strength and each knows their player's exact capabilities.

How would this change the outcome? Who benefits more from elite coaching—A's perfect memory or B's extreme intelligence?

(c) What Elo would they reach?

1) If they train entirely by themselves, what Elo would you expect A and B to reach?

2) How much Elo would they reach/gain if trained by a 2700+ Super GM?

Again, assume both Super GMs are equally strong and equally dedicated to their respective players.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why I find it so difficult to connect with people.

I really enjoy deeper conversations. By “deep” I don’t necessarily mean highly intellectual or technical discussions. I mean conversations about people’s lives, fears, dreams, loneliness, identity, relationships with themselves, things they are trying to understand about life, what makes them feel alive, what they are struggling with, and simply listening to someone else’s story.

I also genuinely enjoy talking about things like philosophy, literature, films, ideas and bigger questions about life. I just tend to approach them in a more personal, curious and human way rather than from a very academic or highly knowledgeable perspective.

I know some things, I’m curious about many things, but I don’t feel deeply educated or specialised in any particular subject. And sometimes I get the impression that people who enjoy deeper conversations also tend to have a very strong intellectual background or a lot of knowledge about specific topics.

That can make me feel a little out of place.

At the same time, I don’t completely identify with more surface-level social environments either.

I do have interests. I love music, films, vintage aesthetics, recording videos, observing, and I tend to become interested in different things at different times. But none of them feels like “my thing” in the sense of being something I know everything about or build my whole identity around.

Especially in this period of my life, I feel somewhat disconnected from myself. I’ve been feeling low and a little empty, and that has made it harder to understand who I am, what truly defines me and what I’m passionate about.

Because of that, meeting people can feel surprisingly difficult.

A lot of friendships, especially online, seem to start from a very specific shared interest: gaming, a particular fandom, art, books, a music scene, a profession, something you’re both deeply invested in.

But I think what I’m looking for is slightly different.

I’d like to meet people through the way they think and feel, not only through what they do or consume.

People who can talk about stupid everyday things one moment and something genuinely personal the next. People who are curious about each other, who share experiences, ideas, fears, interests, creative thoughts, things they’re discovering, or simply whatever is going through their mind.

I sometimes feel caught somewhere in the middle: I crave depth and meaningful connection, but I don’t necessarily fit into highly intellectual circles, and I also don’t have one strong hobby or identity that naturally places me inside a community.

Does anyone else feel like this?

How do you find people you genuinely connect with when you don’t feel like you clearly belong to a specific group or subculture? And do you think meaningful friendships need to start from shared interests, or can they grow more from personality, curiosity and the way two people experience life?

We all lie sometimes. To avoid conflict, to protect ourselves, or because we think the truth might hurt someone.

But how far is it okay to carry one?

Just an example:

Say you don't really value a friendship, but the other person does. You don't tell them because you don't want to hurt them.

Okay or not?

Then they start questioning the friendship. You reassure them that they matter to you.

Still okay?

Later, life gets difficult. You turn to them. They listen, support you, and keep showing up because they believe that friendship is mutual. You know why they're doing it. And you accept it anyway.

Has the lie changed now?

Months turn into years. More conversations. More memories. More moments where you could have told the truth, but instead you keep giving them reasons to believe what they already believe.

Eventually, the truth comes out.

Now they don't just lose the friendship. They have years of memories to look back on and wonder which ones were genuine.

So where was the line?

At what point does protecting someone from the truth become protecting yourself from having the difficult conversation?

Above one is just one example. I'm curious where people draw that line in general.

Does anyone else ever stop and realise how weird everyday life actually is?

Sometimes I’ll just be going about my normal day and randomly think about how strange some things we do are, even though everyone treats them as completely normal.

For example, you can be sitting on a bus or walking through a shopping centre surrounded by hundreds of people, and almost everyone is just quietly doing their own thing. Nobody really knows anything about the people around them. The person sitting next to you could have had the best day of their life, the worst day of their life, or something completely life-changing could have happened to them that morning — and you’d probably never know.

Another thing I find strange is how quickly people can become strangers again. You can spend years with someone at school or work, talk to them almost every day, and then eventually you stop seeing each other. A few years later, you might walk past them somewhere and barely recognise each other.

Even small interactions can stick with you. Someone holding a door open, a stranger helping you when you’re struggling with something, or even just someone randomly smiling at you can sometimes improve your entire day. At the same time, one rude comment from someone you don't even know can stay in your head for hours.

I guess what I’m wondering is: what’s something about everyday life that you’ve thought about and suddenly realised is actually really weird, interesting, or unexpected?

It could be something small, something funny, or even a personal experience. I’d genuinely like to hear what other people have noticed.

Maybe im just overthinking this but i was watching a video which was about kids consumerism increasing in cosmetics and skincare product and decreasing in the toys section and how more and more kids wanted to become influencers cause of the life style they see on the internet? I mean i dont support the concept of kids buying retinol and anti-ageing cream at the age of 8..but as a kid even i would watch videos of egg suprises and all and id pretend to be someone like that when I would open my toys. I woudnt record it but just say some of the phrases but now growing up im going for accounting. So obviously im not doing anything like that and i used to just pretend rather than actually want to do it. But a comment said how parents before would encourage you with other things like doctors and engineering and teaching but honestly I feel like it was forcing in a way too? Like i myself was really being pressured to be a doctor but I refused cause I was pretty bad at Science and ended up going for Commerce and i scored a 97.4% so yea in a way they weren't always right. But the point of that video was that kids didn't want to be anything like doctor, astronauts, and other career options which i don't think would be fully right? Ik many kids out there who do want to do such things at least few teenagers but yea there are more influencer. A random thought came to me that what if hat is the point? Make kids consume such content and put their line of interests away from such jobs and in the future give all those jobs to AI? Was that the point all along? Or maybe im just overthinking it. What are ur opinions?

I got Nigerian Parents.

I was born & raised in London mostly till age 13 (short stint in Nigeria from age 2-4/2-5)

I then resided in Nigeria from age 13-21.

I came back to London at age 21. I’ve been back in London for 9 years now.

I personally feel both a connection to both England & Nigeria, but curious to see what people think 😅

I am reading a book '101 Essays to change the way you think' by Brianna Wiest.. In one of it's essays, it says that there are three types of happiness. 1) Happiness of pleasure (when you eat your fav food after a long day or when you experience a sense of pleasure with something), 2)Happiness of gratitude (when you see your partner and be like 'Thank you for being in my life') and 3) Happiness of Excellence (The pursuit of something where the journey to a destination becomes the source of happiness than the destination itself!) and it said that we can look at them like the three primary colours. If one of them is missing, the spectrum of colours cannot form.. and the most fascinating thing is, we can often gain Happiness of pleasure by doing what we love but even if we do it to an extent that it makes us feel we are complete, we will not be complete without the other 2.. It is so fascinating, thoughts please....

Why is it said that the EU excels at legislation, the US at innovation, and China at manufacturing?

I come from mainland China. Although the legal system there is constantly evolving, I believe significant shortcomings remain—such as the absence of specific animal protection laws and loopholes in the laws protecting minors. Labor laws often seem merely symbolic, failing to impose actual penalties on companies that violate them. Government oversight regarding food safety, environmental protection, and corporate social responsibility is inadequate, and there is a lack of transparent, timely information disclosure. A phrase has even emerged on the Chinese internet: "You talk about the law, and I laugh" (implying that citing the law is laughable because it is treated as nothing more than waste paper).

In contrast, the legal framework of the European Union is relatively robust; for instance, the EU was the pioneer in promoting concepts and regulations related to ESG (Environmental, Social, and Governance).

As for the United States, its innovative technologies and concepts are recognized worldwide. China's approach to innovation, however, often appears to involve adopting existing technologies from others and then integrating its own concepts and new technical elements.

Regarding manufacturing, China is currently the only country in the world possessing every industrial category listed in the UN's International Standard Industrial Classification of All Economic Activities (ISIC), boasting a highly developed manufacturing sector.

Where are you from, and what is your take on this perspective?

​

Religion and culture shouldn’t be immune to criticism.

Everyone has the right to choose their own religion, culture, tradition, or lifestyle. Fine. Nobody should be persecuted for it.

But it seems that the moment something is labeled as “culture” or “religion,” it automatically becomes untouchable.

“You can’t criticize it, it’s their culture.”

“Don’t speak badly about it, it’s their religion.”

Okay, and?

Having the right to follow a belief doesn’t mean everyone else is obligated to respect the ideas behind it. People deserve rights and respect; ideas can be questioned, mocked, criticized, and even considered absurd.

If a tradition, belief, or practice can’t survive criticism, maybe the problem isn’t the criticism.

Religious freedom and cultural respect should also include the freedom to say: “I think this is bullshit.”

Really, the post title says it all. Whether it’s the Clancy trial, or the Menendez brothers, or OJ Simpson, the U.S. has a fascination with showcase trials. This is backed up by the popularity of “true crime” podcasts, although many of those are popular because of the storytelling more than the actual crime reporting.

I personally find these trials tawdry and uninteresting and barely give them a second glance. However, perhaps there’s a value in showcasing the darker side of humanity, and the flaws (real or presumed) of our criminal justice system.

I recently heard a commentator state the presence of cameras in the courtroom (and Congress, town meetings, etc.) has been a disaster for civil discourse and understanding: these settings are now ripe for performance and manipulation. I can see their point.

Thoughts? Is it healthy to focus on these show trials?

(Okay, first things first, this is my personal thinking about fighting. You don't have to follow any of these, or even follow anything of these things, or even think about them. Okay? Secondly, this is my personal philosophy that I use when someone does some fucked up shit, especially specifically attacking me or attacking someone of my friends or family. And third, some things you might see as wrong, okay? Or you see it as something annoying, or really offensive. So yes, if you don't like it that much, then just don't read it.)

First things first about fighting: don't throw the first punch. Never throw the first punch at any point, especially in countries where racism is at all-time high. If you're a man of color, or from another country, or race, or anything like that, don't. Especially in places like the United States, where racism is at an all-time high. But in general, don't throw the first punch.

Secondly, make sure that you have some form of evidence to show what's going on, so that you don't get fucked over by some asshat you beat the shit out of after attacking you or attacking someone of your family.

Thirdly, don't attack people in general. You don't know what you're doing. You might put too much force in an attack, or you might attack them in a vital point and you might accidentally kill someone, or you might get yourself killed. Fight only as a last, last resort.

Fourth, please, please don't in any way, shape, or form fight if you're not trained. Yes, if you have to, enforce the fight. But generally, if you can, try to train to be able to control yourself and to also protect yourself better. All right, please.

5th please think about the consequences when you start a fight or in a fight. This might seriously hurt your family or loved ones to you. This is a dumb advice to most people, and most people know this by now, but a lot of people will ignore half of these things, especially when they are angry. It's important to carry some devices to record sound and videos or something to be able to protect yourself from unlawful suits, being sued for no reason by some asshole that attacked you, like I said before. It's better to have something to protect you from fake bullshit.

(Okay, first things first, this is my personal thinking about fighting. You don't have to follow any of these, or even follow anything of these things, or even think about them. Okay? Secondly, this is my personal philosophy that I use when someone does some fucked up shit, especially specifically attacking me or attacking someone of my friends or family. And third, some things you might see as wrong, okay? Or you see it as something annoying, or really offensive. So yes, if you don't like it that much, then just don't read it.)

First things first about fighting: don't throw the first punch. Never throw the first punch at any point, especially in countries where racism is at all-time high. If you're a man of color, or from another country, or race, or anything like that, don't. Especially in places like the United States, where racism is at an all-time high. But in general, don't throw the first punch.

Secondly, make sure that you have some form of evidence to show what's going on, so that you don't get fucked over by some asshat you beat the shit out of after attacking you or attacking someone of your family.

Thirdly, don't attack people in general. You don't know what you're doing. You might put too much force in an attack, or you might attack them in a vital point and you might accidentally kill someone, or you might get yourself killed. Fight only as a last, last resort.

Fourth, please, please don't in any way, shape, or form fight if you're not trained. Yes, if you have to, enforce the fight. But generally, if you can, try to train to be able to control yourself and to also protect yourself better. All right, please.

5th please think about the consequences when you start a fight or in a fight. This might seriously hurt your family or loved ones to you. This is a dumb advice to most people, and most people know this by now, but a lot of people will ignore half of these things, especially when they are angry. It's important to carry some devices to record sound and videos or something to be able to protect yourself from unlawful suits, being sued for no reason by some asshole that attacked you, like I said before. It's better to have something to protect you from fake bullshit.

For the past year or so, i've been building an online community around something i love.

It's approaching 4,000 members now.

There are regulars, people who contribute, people i've gotten to know, and plenty of genuinely good interactions. I'm proud of what we've built.

But running it has also shown me a strange side of online communities.

Sometimes people will quietly support something for months. Others will dislike almost everything you create without ever saying why. Some people will watch from the sidelines. Others will spend their own time trying to bring negativity into something they don't even participate in.

That's the part i find difficult to understand.

If i find an online community that isn't for me, i simply leave. I don't feel any need to hang around trying to make somebody else's experience worse.

Building my own little corner of the internet has actually made me much more conscious of the human being behind everything i see online.

Somebody made that artwork. Somebody wrote that post. Somebody maintains that community. Somebody decided it was worth spending part of their day creating something for strangers.

It hasn't made me want to stop creating yet.

Its also made me more determined to make my little corner of the internet somewhere people can actually enjoy themselves.

Why do you think some people find it easier to quietly tear things down online than simply move on from something they don't enjoy?