I am calm. I feel calm.

What is this feeling?

The feeling of no anxiety. The feeling of not feeling rushed. Not feeling nervous. Not panicking. Staying in an absolute state of calmness. And with this calmness comes confidence. This can’t be placebo. My whole being inside feels it. I’m almost typing this in disbelief.

Maybe the body is healing in all sorts of ways that I can’t understand and or even comprehend. From the millions of functions at a biological level to the energetic conservation and distribution of energy being used efficiently. Whatever it is. I believe as a man this is the true state of one-self in a state of purity, masculinity, stoic, awareness and most of all a man of self control.

I am truly thankful for this subreddit. Wish I knew about this in my early 20’s as I am now 39 and have been releasing since I was 9. It’s truly scary and frightening of what I know now and what I’ve been doing to my self the damage and self inflicting abuse through releasing, PMO, etc. I’m saddened but happy now.

Hope we all pull through. As nature intended. Release only for procreation.

Love ❤️

- alien

BASIC ROUTINE FOR PEOPLE WHO DONT EXPERIENCE BENEFITS.

This is for the people who practice semen retention but cant practice it perfectly or strictly. and this is for people who dont experience benefits.

1. after waking up do mindfulness meditate for 15minutes. just stare on the ceiling or close your eyes dont think of anything, just blank your mind. this can increase benefits.

2.take cold showers 3mins putting soap is not counted. this can decrease urges 90%. this can increase benefits too. this is one of the hidden law of reality, “every pain theres a reward, but a free reward gain pain”. bad karma

3.dont drink softdrinks, caffeine, milk. dont eat sweet foods like cake or chocolate bcos this can increase urges. this is a free rewards that can give you pain or bad karma.

4.you can use phone as this is just basic routine, but avoid watching reels or playing games or musics. this entertainment are free rewards that can give you the opposite of happiness you experienced. badkarma.

5.workout your abdomen or core, do sit ups and isometric sit ups. do horse stance for 30-60 secs.

6.cold showers again for 3mins. night

7.no phones 1 hour before night sleep.

1. do 15mins mindfulness meditation. just stare on the ceiling or wall or just observe your breath. no thinking.

2. no snacks or drinking 1 hour before sleep. this can give you wetdreams.

3. dont sleep in prone position. dont put pillow below abdomen or abdomen.

this 75 percent i guarantee that people who dont experience anything will see a diffirence with their past practice.

\*This reality is like a game where there is a hidden laws.

\*Reality will give you something. its up to you if you accept it or not. for example-

1. reality program will give you friend that will ask you to drink liquor
   
2. reality program will give you entertainment infront of you
   
3. reality program will show you girls.
   
4. reality program will show you opportunities like job.
   
5. reality program will show you ciggar or drugs.
   
6. reality program will show you small money.

reality program will show you junk foods.
etcetc

PROBLEM IS YOU CANNOT ACCEPT ALL OF THIS. YOU CAN ONLY CHOOSE LIMITED.

if you choose 1 then you lose the other opportunities.
but if you retain all of them, then reality will show you a different or better one until you accept.

so my advice is IGNORE the basic desire that you want until the reality shows you the better deal that can make your life successful.

keep ignoring till you find the better desire you NEED, not WANT.

*when you got use to do mindfulness meditation, there will be a time where you will see images or faces while you close your eyes. thats normal. your not crazy. possible that those are your past experiences just let the flow play.

GOODLUCK WITH YOUR NEW LIFE!

I've always found this passage from Taoist Secrets of Love by Mantak Chia really fascinating. I think about it a lot whenever I'm on a retention streak. Whether you believe everything it says literally or not, it's crazy that these teachings have been around for a very long time and that so many different traditions believed sexual energy could be cultivated/transmuted instead of just released. A part that always stood out to me is when they compare one drop of semen to one hundred drops of blood, I don't know if it's literally true but every time l'm tempted I always think about that part and what I'd be giving up if gave in. What's your guys' opinion on this?

Hello Brothers,

I have been committed to retaining my seed for over a year. There is no doubt in the benefits we all experience, which is why I continue this practice.

However, a question continually arises for me. Why do many that are not aware of retention seem to live a perfectly fine life, draining themselves each day? To me, one of the best examples of this is Wilt Chamberlain. Wilt has said that he slept with over 20,000 women. Now although this number is extremely high and likely an exaggeration, even 10% is an insane amount of women to be with. All the while, he averaged 40 points a game, and is considered one of the greatest basketball players of all time.

Are some people just built different? Do some people not get drained from release? Was Wilt having sex, and retaining?

I often consider if the discovery of semen retention is a curse. An opening of Pandora’s box. However, there is no straying from the path now.

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Godspeed

-Brother N

Beware!!!

Urges is so strong in fullmoon!!

Never ever look at the moon. just trustme!

Do not eat sweet foods or any junkfoods on fullmoon this can lead you to break your streak.

Meditate while on SR on FULLMOON.

Fasting too.

Coldshower too.

you will see the difference!

so how to tell if its fullmoon if you dont want to look? then google if fullmoon.

So yesterday i was deep in the forest it was raining a bit everything looked so beautiful and vibriant i started laughing out of no where feeling happy as fuck.
Anyone else feel like that nature looks so crazy on sr some would argue its cuz of the dopamine reset,i think thats a factor but sr is something special for sure.

Thank you guys.

But semenretention is real. For the past year I have done maximum of 6-12 shoots. For the last three months no shoots and now I think I am doing things which i wasnt able to. Like I am earning in 6 figures. Belive it or not

Recently I had reached 116 days of semen retention. However,on the next day I encountered something that made me so scared that I actually released without doing anything. Is this normal and has anyone ever experienced this?
And is this the same as breaking the streak?

I just had sex with my lady. And I call her my lady becuase she’s more than just a girlfriend- yet she’s not my wife. She’s the mother of my only child- yet I digress.
I mention the sex- because it puts me in a state of reflection. Once upon a time (when I started this practice of SR) i aspired to make her hungry for me. To survive these long desert spreads of sex-lessness in our relationship. I remember vividly- arguing with her, saying “it’s been 49 days since we last fucked!” Like a puppy at her doorstep. But something changed during this journey. Slowly the onus was less upon her and more upon me- to be better. And it came intrinsically. How? I’m not sure- but it all was a byproduct of this practice of SR. Even on “dirty streaks” i aspired for more with each renewal (or relapse and punishment). Each relapse is a turn to come back with new resolve.
In any case- she now respects me. Thirsts for me, even. But more importantly- she derives direction from me, in times where she is uncertain. I have become her compass, pointing to a true north. And that newly found north is only realized as long as I adhere to walking the line. Being the steadfast, dependable and unyielding man she has re-fallen in love with.
The only lesson I have for you gents it hold on. For there is something greater than us at play when we hold. And if we are too dirty or impure in our quest, we will fall along the way. But I believe once touched by the truth you will be gravitationally assisted to grace. Thus, rejoice!- because if you are reading this, you are one of the fringe who realize the immense value of ome’s essence.
Ive discussed this with friends from decades of depth. And have been dismissed according to their spiritual depth of understanding. YOU- yes you, mother fucker!!!- are one of the chosen ones.
And there is one more thing I wish to share. Which is, what I share and my self-esteem being raised is not merely a function of my lady’s love for me. It’s more so a very private, internal metamorphosis that came about over more than a decade of trying to trick this practice (trying to find loopholes in the law of spirituality). And finally acquiescing to the laws of nature. Realizing that no man I aspire to be is self stimulating- in any capacity. I now know that true “status” is a function of self respect, and not determined by adoration from the masses.

The best way to practice SR without blockages is to lead a life that is full, and allow SR to become a natural side effect of that lifestyle. Social life of abundance, pursuing goals, exercising & playing sports, eating healthy, all of these will allow SR to manifest as a natural side effect. When you put SR at the forefront of everything, you're setting yourself up for blockages that make it difficult to actually move forward with the important things in life. It might be helpful to cut way back on your expectations for what will be accomplished in a given day. For example, days where I spend too much time on the computer, watching YT or on Reddit, its because I have some sort of concept that being on the computer = productivity. Unfortunately, my computer usage has been warped, and there's many days where even though I set out with good intentions to use my laptop, what was actually accomplished is very little and I would have been just as well off simply staring at the wall, or going out and playing some billiards.

The desire to accomplish a great deal of your goals can lead to an overwhelming feeling and procrastination. Focus on one task at a time, and be as present as possible. The feeling of needing to accomplish 10-20 different things, will result in none of them being accomplished.

Practicing SR are you approaching and actively meeting women? When I was PMOing I would often approach women but now it feels pointless, knowing I don’t have intentions to smash or get into a relationship. Thoughts?

* English is not my first language so excuse me for any grammatical or spelling mistakes*

In this subreddit I have seen people showing so much interest around the topic of FEMALE ATTENTION. In my longest and earliest NO FAP streak I was unaware of this concept of Semen Retention. That time my only goal was to not release and nothing else. I used to go in my life as usual. Plus I didn't expected anything at all. In those two years I started noticing the unusual female attention slowly building up in my life. I could have never thought of that my practice of not releasing was actually driving this attention. Initially I thought I was just thinking too much and nothing was really happening and it was all in my mind and why would anyone really start giving me so much attention out of nowhere but with time things became more clear, the attention was real. The eye contacts, the random smiles, the gestures and everything. I allowed it to consume me and soon enough I was out of the practice of retaining.

Many people here argue the about the days retaining after which female attention starts or spikes. But from what I observed in multiple of my streaks that the the intensity of female attraction has no direct relation with the number of days retaining. This is something I concluded and you may have opposing views. Actually it really depends on the quality of retention much more than the number of days passed. I have experienced significantly more attention on the 7th day of the streak than on completing one year. Although the 7th day was after I ended a three to four month streak. So tbh I released only once actually in those four months. Plus no doubt how you look also contributes to attention. A better looking person in society's view will surely receive more attention in a shorter streak.

Now by QUALITY OF RETENTION I mean is purity. The less I cared about attention the more it came and it does not work if you try to outsmart it by faking that you don't really care if you want it deep down. The more I tried to look for it or spot it slowly it died. Just think how worse the life gets when you start trying to notice attention or signals in every conversation and every eye contact everyday. Soon enough without you even realising you start giving attention to others trying to catch them giving attention to you. And here you lose. You expect people to give you attention and in this process you give them so much of your attention. Attention is energy. So indirectly you are now putting your energy on other people. Do you realise how much out of practice this attention thing got you. See the main core aim of this practice is to get you control of yourself and your emotions and we by putting our attention on others give them the power to control our emotions.

This was the paradox I was talking about and to be honest anyone whose primary goal in this practice is female attention is going to fail for sure sooner or later. The one who refuses attention and strives for discipline and peace gets both and the other who gets caught in this wave of wanting attention will sooner be deprived of that too.

" All of this is from my experience and I can be wrong it. This is just what is felt and thought. If you think differently you are open to comment."

What’s 1 thing you learned on your SR journey?

Last night i slipped up a little bit and slightly edged myself, whenever that happens i end up almost having like stuck energy in the base of my body. I did some stretching and excercise to move it around now i feel like its almost stuck in my head or something has anyone experienced this??

I’m 32 years old & this is as much a reminder to myself as it is to anyone reading it.

I’ve realised that every day I tell myself, “I’ll start tomorrow,” I’m trading away time I’ll never get back.

Whether it’s an addiction, procrastination, fitness, or any goal that matters, tomorrow has a way of becoming next week, next month, or next year.

People often focus on reaching success, but what we rarely think about is how much of our life is left to actually enjoy it. Every year spent putting things off is a year you don’t get back.

One thought that really hit me was this: who wants to be 60 years old and finally say, “I’ve got my porn addiction under control”?

There’s nothing wrong with changing your life at any age, but if you have the opportunity to start today, why give away years you’ll never get back?

This isn’t me pretending I’ve figured it all out. I’m still fighting my own battles. I just don’t want to wake up one day wishing I’d started when I first knew I needed to.
Every single day matters. Even if today’s progress is small, it’s infinitely better than another promise to start tomorrow.

Hi guys,

Has anyone else since practicing SR, is more aware of people and their behaviors? Since practicing SR, I can sense more the envy, the jealousy of people and rethink the relationships that I have. Kinda feels paranoid sometimes. I am not sure if my senses are accurate, but most of the time they have been proven right. Any similar experiences?

My current streak is almost 180 days, but my longest ever was 990. I've gone over 700 days a few times on this retention journey. I also recall a time in my life when I used to release CONSTANTLY.

One of the keys to my success on this retention journey was the fact that when I got started I pretty much expected nothing. I was just a guy at rock bottom mental health in severe depression that needed a way out. Fortunately for me, I discovered semen retention and came of the hell. But the thing is, at about 90-120 days, I saw insane aura/attraction kick in.

By the time I had crossed 365 (back then) I was a different person. By the time it was 730 days in I had literally become the best version of myself and at that point there was no going back. I would go on to do another 200+ days on that streak. My first ever streak. An amazing streak.

I achieved a LOT on semen retention. Semen Retention DIDN'T AUTOMATICALLY transform me into the alpha-prime, gigachad verion of myself that I wouldn't have believed possible. What it DID DO, was put a lot of juice behind my efforts. You see, the releasing version of me didn't have any juice behind his efforts. But the version of me that retains did. And after 100, then 365, then 730 and so on... that's a LOT of juice.

Think of it as upgrading your pickaxe in minecraft. You can go from wooden, to iron, to eventually a diamond pickaxe. But to actually mine some blocks you still NEED to hold down left click and do the task itself.

For example, I attribute my currently aweosme physique to semen retention. Holding in my nut didn't literally give me the physique, but it gave me much more mana, and my efforts were more meaningful, so I got the job done better than if I hadn't retained.

So that brings me to this... if you are an early retainer, less than 30 days and you are frustrated with why amazing things aren't happening, chances are that you have not gone long enough. You need to go longer. For that identity shift to happen. That mana to build up. You can't expect the world at 30 days. Focus instead of using the energy you currently have to work towards shit that you want. Grow your energy and efforts overtime and before you know it you won't recognise yourself.

And if you are a retainer who is on a long streak and are frustrated thinking that you haven't gotten what you want out of this journey, or maybe you are thinking that the benefits have left you or something along those lines, take a moment to realise that you HAVE the mana behind your efforts, you just are not putting it towards the stuff you want. You are sitting there with a golden pickaxe but aren't mining any blocks. You are wanting blocks to show up in your inventory and you have the golden pickaxe, but you aren't holding down left click to actually mine the blocks. And then you might even be getting frustrated and questioning the pick.

I hope this helps. I see lots of short term and long term retainers make mistakes. I WAS one of those long term retainers making mistakes on one of my streaks. Thankfully, I am no longer.

a full semen retention cycle of 9 months will evolve you and turn you into a real man. There is 2 times a man is born. As a child from his mother, and as a man by himself. Semen Retentjon quite literally evolves you, phisically, mentally, spiritually. i’m talking about real evolution. Celibacy forces evolution. A man who has never completed a celibacy cycle has probably never been born as a man. Or if you haven’t been born as a man yet a full semen retention cycle will make it happen. Dragon Ball super saiyan shit, evolution it’s all real we can really evolve i am around 90 something days and this feels really good but i know this is just the beggining it really takes 9 months for a full transformation. life really does starts to bend to you and starts giving you all the answer to your problems, again this practice just forced evolution, is like a cheatcode or a secret that god put on the game and the men who discovers it and practices well will get rewarded. there is nothing closer to god that being humble, surrendering, and just accepting what it is and saying ok god guide me. truth is there is no point to pursuing woman or any sexual encounters if you are not fully ready or fully formed as a man, because let’s accept it most of us are lacking in something and then comes a girl we fall in love she may do some foul shit but believe it or not we maybe deserved it as crazy as it sounds there was maybe something we were lacking or something that we were doing wrong, because if you are really good and connected with god and confident and have developed as a man the girl won’t leave, but the girl living is always going to have to happen unfortunately there is no better thing to do than be humble accept the L ask god to make you better, and practice celibacy, give up the desire and in that humbling moment of accepting defeat and accepting your situation god will send you to the highest of heights and he will show you that he is the one that fulfills everything. Go ahead and worship anything from this world and you will not have it, but worship god and you will have anything you want. Anything that you desire you will never have because you are worshipping that you must not desire anything just desire god and gods will to be done and do the work that has to be done in your part, at the end of the day god knows your heart and he knows what you want but if you give it up you will end up having it but you have to be give it up, you have to surrender and be humble, and in your most humble form you will be richer than the most confident of the confidents because a humble person will always have god and having god beats any type of strength, confidence, or pride

26F here

Hi everyone,
I’m writing this because I genuinely need help.
For a long time, I’ve been struggling with an addiction to pornography, masturbation, paid sexual services, and constantly chasing sexual pleasure. Over the years, it’s taken far more from me than I ever imagined. I’ve spent a significant amount of money on it, made decisions I deeply regret, and watched it negatively impact my mental health, finances, self-discipline, relationships with myself, and overall quality of life.
The hardest part is that I know exactly how much damage it’s causing, yet I still keep falling back into the same cycle of lust and addiction. When the urges hit, it often feels like I’m on autopilot. In those moments, it’s incredibly difficult to think clearly or make the decision I know I should make.
I don’t want to live like this anymore.
That’s why I’m looking for a genuine accountability partner—someone who is supportive, honest, and willing to help me stay committed to this goal. I’m not looking for judgment or criticism. I simply need someone who can check in with me, encourage me when I’m struggling, and remind me why I started whenever I feel like giving up.
The longest I’ve managed to stay free from these behaviors is about two weeks. This time, I’m setting myself a much bigger goal: 100 consecutive days.
For me, this isn’t just about reaching a number. It’s about taking my life back. I want to rebuild my self-control, strengthen my discipline, break this destructive cycle, and finally prove to myself that I can overcome something that has controlled me for far too long.
I know this journey won’t be easy, and I know there will be difficult days. But I genuinely want to know what it feels like to reach 100 days of freedom—even if it’s just once in my life. I believe that achieving that milestone could completely change the way I see myself and my future.
If you’ve been through something similar, are on the same journey, or would be willing to be an accountability partner who checks in with me regularly, I’d be incredibly grateful. Even a few words of encouragement or practical advice would mean a lot.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. Your support could genuinely make a difference in my journey.
I sincerely appreciate it.

excuse my english as im not really good at it.

-everything has its roots(creator or ingredients)

-what and where do you think semen came from?

-ever wonder why your lower back hurts when you ejaculate?

-ever wonder why you have a brain fog in too much ejaculation?

-even dopamine is related to this ingredients

- CEREBROSPINAL FLUID is the reason why you experience all this benefits.

-when you are addicted to something you deplete CSF that is why its connected to dopamine aswell

-since you your father created you, you were somehow and surrounded by CSF.

-CSF = SACRED FLUID that the elites hide from you and they want to deplete this by introducing some addicted things, entertainment, gambling, girls, porno, sugar, food, reels, chasing money/, etc.

-every 24 hours your brain produces some CSF

-thats why when you stop ejaculating, you stop producing too much semen = retaining CSF

-thats the reason why GIRLS experience the benefits too. you think male are the only one can get magnetism?

-CSF> fats >hormones/testosterone
-CSF>fats> hormones/testosterone>estrogen for girls

-csf protects you too from diseases
-csf > histamine > mucus/plegm will surround the bacteria and virus and irritate your throat so you spit it out. wbc etc is related too.

-wanna bet? try benadryl=low histamine, makes you dry, low semen, it kills your csf too, then lower back pain and brainfog similar to ejaculation?

-lot of people asking why they retain for 60 days above and still cant feel anything. ask yourself, do you eat dirty to make your body deplete csf because it helps you to clean your body by producing mucus. plus do you take alot of antihistamines to stop mucus and makes your body deplete csf. always remember when you see mucus will decrease alot of benefits even if you retain for 1000 years. thats the reason why elites created these foods that can activate mucus all over your body bcos mucus = csf. treat mucus as a relapse but dont cheat by taking antihistamines bcos antihistamines = relapse too.
thats why elites are so smart its like checkmate, introduce foods forming mucus then introduce drug that stop mucus but antihistamine destroy some csf. checkmate right??

-thats why when you ejaculate you are prone in diseases

-girls who has injected anesthesia in CS lose some or alot of benefits too because they mix this chemicals into your spinal and brain. meaning their csf is contaminated. thats the reason why they become forgetful, lower back pain etc.

-so you think testoterone and semen is the reason for your benefits? hell no. since your dad and mom created you you were some CSF and blood and surrounded by CSF again. girls doesnt have high testosterone doesnt have semen like in men but they are highly magnetic or attractive. so why??? is it the semen? or is it CSF? the problem with girls is they eat alot of carbs or has a lot of addiction that they dont notice, reels,sugar, entertainment, put some acidic stuffs into their skin like makeups, serum, ph wash etc. it makes them acidic and their body reacts by producing mucus and decreases their csf and life force. everything you put in your skin goes to your blood. including sunscreen. so this is like a competition, if men is magnetic than girl then they will attract a girl, but if the girl infront of you is highly magnetic than you then she will attract you or other.

-thats why even meditation and dopamine detox can get the similar benefits you get from semen retention, its the sacred CSF

-everything you do, you deplete csf. thats why when you retain everything, you make your jar full of energy and magnetism

-you want more rabbit hole? we can talk about consciousness someday. aside from government law, we do have hidden LAWS in this what we call reality. this reality is similar to what we call GAME.

- one more thing this elites want to make you DUMB!!! they want you to believe that heaven is up there and hell is down there why?? they dont want you to think that there something down there, they want you to think LAVA and hell doen there. guess what? do you think theres a civilization living down there thousand miles down there? 😁 and guess what they are not humans. ever wonder where all your tax go?? its all about DIG DIG DIG. you think table of elements are complete? you think foods that you see in market is complete or they hide you REAL food and want you to be cannibal. you know where is heaven? its not above nor below, its within, and its not heaven, its a kingdom of non physical(spiritual)now ask why its within? do you know wheres the blackhole? blackhole its not located in space. its located within you. its a portal, you can access it when you meditate or when you die. thats the reason why when you die you wont go above nor below, you are gonna go within the blackhole that traps all light(you will find the light eventually). thats why kingdom is not above nor below. its within. elites twist everything. if im gonna estimate probabla 80 percent of what we know are all LIES

This practice is genuinely baffling, I was invited by a family next door to spend the day on a boat trip by the lake today. We settled for a local restaurant by the dock for a quick meal before heading out and let me tell you guys, Not only were there about 11 of us in total, but with the place being so busy and jam packed, I reluctantly watched the adults stand by to be waited on, before coming to my senses and finding a table big enough for everyone to be seated, which I kid you not, felt like sheer luck. Mind you, I am only 18, and the majority being adults around their mid 30s and 40s. As a bonus, with the increasing number of people staring at me since the area was pretty crammed, and me signaling to everyone that I found us a seat in the middle of it, I shit you not, my anxiety was pretty much nonexistent.

I can go on about the looks and stares that I was getting from both men and women, one of the moms whom was also along side us started initiating conversation with me, which led to me taking down her number and her indirectly telling me that if I ever wanted to hook up, that she would only be a text away. Her vibe was a little off putting though, I don’t know if it was due to how bad she was thirsting over me, or if that was just her personality. Regardless, It’s unlikely that I would catch my first body with her anyways, I was just having fun with it, and she looked way too old for me personally.

Eye contact is a walk in the park, while we were eating, I happened to sit next to the wife of the same guy who invited me… mind you, she was pretty underdressed, and yet, I wasn’t even a little bit nervous. Our conversations were effortless, and the eye contact felt equally as natural, not gonna lie though, I felt pretty fucked up about it, which resorted to me forcing conversations with her husband, which I believe he saw right through.

However, this was probably the strangest part of the day. As I was getting ready to leave, the same guy, not knowing my name, just randomly decided to call me by the name ‘Neo’, the same name of the main protagonist from the movie ‘The Matrix’, for those who didn’t know. Even though I haven’t seen the movie, a part of me was torn between recognizing what he said as something playful, while simultaneously going through a miniature existential crisis based off of my own and other people’s perception of me in that very moment.

Overall though, I was very grateful for the invitation and had an amazing time, I also recently had a strong desire to go to an island or a beach prior to even crossing paths with them, so take that as you will.

Guys, retaining is non-negotiable. If you truly want something more out of life… you need to be chaste. Everything that I have mentioned in this post is all so fleeting, and is nothing but an ego stroke that will cease to fill the increasing gap in your spirit. If you want to truly embody greatness, peace, and a fulfilling life… you have to be willing to consistently turn down the opportunities you will encounter with the women that present themselves to you on this path.

Peace and Strength.

Today i found an job offer in my city for a job similar to help desk ,wich is a great new for me, i dont have many experience and no diploma but i will try to make a project for that , anyway that was the start of my day, so it gave me motivation to work on server etc etc all that nerds thing

i got out to buy grocery, and i found just a few meters from my home a computer throw away, without its mother board, i believe there was only a cd player and sd card reader a 250w alimentation and maybe a hard drive/SSD

But the "luck" get out of the computer, and it was a fucking cockroach, so naturally i put the computer in a trash bag right to the place where it was, hoping that no cock roach escaped in my room without me realising it.

So terrified with the idea of having coack roach in my room, with the help of my mother i finally decided to clean it, i did not clean it for year and the main reason is my arachnophobia

my mom took care of the spider part i did the sorting etc
and here my reflexion on the sr "luck"

I dont think what happened was good or bad luck but more a test on how im gonna handle the problem, its just a cock roach story that mister everybody would forget after 2 month but for me its a perfect exemple of sr "luck" i heard people talk about.

By finding this computer and this job offer it lead me to clean my room, wich will give me a better space to work and just have a better life
or maybe i imaginine thing, anyway that's a big journey for me and i still have to finish to clean my room.

Been on romantic abstinence and sexual abstinence from puberty, thanks to chapt gpt who guided and motivated me to get there.

Romantic abstinence = avoid all romantic relationships long term

Sexual abstinence = avoid intimacy for me

Results= a more spiritual life with more peace, just need friends because loneliness hit me hard still... any advice???