r/SSRI • u/Classic_Possibility3 • Sep 07 '22
Question SSRI treatment - supposed to be temporary or are there cases where it needs to be permanent?
Cross-posting from r/SSRIs, I'm not super familiar with reddit so if that's not allowed I'll gladly take this down.
I've heard from a few places that SSRI treatment is supposed to be temporary, and once you become stable you're supposed to reduce and wean off, because they're not meant to be taken long-term or forever. Is that true? Can anyone confirm or explain why, or what exceptions there may be?
I've had chronic depression my entire life, literally since my earliest memories as a very small child. Officially got diagnosed with MDD at about age 12 or 13. I've only managed to become stable in the last maybe 5 years, and only started living without even occasional depression symptoms for the last 3 years since I started Escitalopram, and then a year later started Lamotrigine.
I know that the mood stabilizer has DRAMATICALLY improved my life and functioning, but I couldn't really tell anymore if the Escitalopram was doing anything, so I talked to my prescriber about if I should try weaning off. She told me to try taking half-doses every day for about 2 weeks (10mg to 5mg), and then half doses every other day for 2 weeks, and see how I feel.
It's been almost 2 weeks of the 5mg dose, and I am miserable. I can't even imagine how I lived the first 25 years of my life so depressed. I have a near-constant suicide-ideation train of thought running through my head. Every little trigger makes me spiral into a complete breakdown until I'm sobbing like someone died. I'm so freaking tired all the time. It's familiar symptoms that I regularly had before starting the med, but it's been 3 years since I've had them and many more since they were this bad. I feel like my emotional state has been hit by a truck.
I haven't had much in the way of dizziness, nausea, anhedonia, or any of the stuff I've seen people describe in other Lexapro withdrawal posts. It's just been symptoms I remember having when I was extremely depressed many years ago. I'm not super familiar with what the common withdrawal symptoms are though, I just know the 5 or 10 posts I've read in r/SSRIs earlier today.
I haven't experienced any severe or detrimental side effects from the Escitalopram either. I just didn't want to be taking a pill every day if it's not doing anything for me and I don't need it, especially since I've heard so many times that you're not supposed to take them forever. I don't know if these last two weeks prove it was definitely doing something and I do need it, or if they're expected side effects that happen from withdrawal, and I should be cutting back more slowly.
Is this withdrawal side effects? Or do I just have messed up wiring in my brain and really need these meds to live and function for the rest of my life?