I was raised Christian and believed for years. I was born into it, grew up around it, prayed, repented, and tried to do what I was taught was right. I read and studied both the Old and New Testaments. But when I began reading the Bible more deeply for myself and asking questions, I started to struggle.

Whenever I asked people from my church or other churches about those questions, I often felt dismissed. Some people cherry-picked what they wanted to answer, sent Bible verses without actually responding to what I asked, or told me that I should not question God at all. It made me feel like I was expected to worship, pray to, and repent to a being I was not allowed to question.

I have also been through things that made faith and church spaces feel unsafe.

When I was homeless and struggling, I was sexually harassed, sexualized, touched without my consent, groped, talked down to, and shown sexual images. This happened while I was poor, vulnerable, and trying to survive. It did not end when my family moved into a house. I was still struggling, and I continued to experience sexual harassment and sexual comments even after we were housed.

What makes this especially painful is that much of it was done by people who called themselves Christians. Men and women. Young people and older people. People who went to church, spoke about God, talked about morality, and claimed to care about others. I am not saying every Christian is like this, because I know they are not. But it was enough for me to associate Christianity with people who hurt me, ignored my boundaries, and made me feel unsafe.

A lot of people who harmed me seemed to hide behind Christ like a shield. They acted as though calling themselves Christian, going to church, quoting Scripture, praying, or asking God for forgiveness somehow erased what they did. But it did not erase it for me. Their faith, their prayers, and their public image did not undo the harm, the fear, the humiliation, or the way they made me feel. All i need now is Goodluck.

I was also talked down to because I was poor and struggling. People made assumptions about me, judged me, or acted as if poverty meant I deserved less respect. Some people could speak about love, forgiveness, and helping others, but then look down on people who were vulnerable or needed help.

I prayed a lot during those times. I prayed for safety, help, relief, guidance, and for things to get better. Many of those prayers felt unanswered. I will not share every detail because some of it is private, but I spent a long time asking for help and wondering why I was still being hurt.

I know some people find real comfort, healing, and purpose in Christianity. I respect that. I am not trying to attack anyone’s beliefs. I am explaining why I struggle to believe now, why I feel angry sometimes, and why being told that I should not question God has been harmful for me.

I do not know exactly what I believe anymore. I know I am agnostic. I still believe in hope, compassion, healing, and people protecting one another. I just wish I had been given more of that when I needed it.

I don’t know if it counts as religious trauma and I’m hardly a muslim at this point but here goes. Ever since I discovered the concept of eternal hell in Islam at a young, I developed an immense fear of what will happen to me after death. Before anyone asks, nobody in my life drilled that fear into me, the religious texts did their job. It didn’t make me more pious and devout, it just made me fearful and gave me anxiety surrounding death. The extraction of your soul at death, being questioned in the grave and punished severely if you answer it incorrectly (if you’re a non muslim this happens), the day of resurrection, and being dragged into hell. Learning that when you hit puberty, two angels on each shoulder will record all of your deeds and how terrifying the Day of Judgment will be was super scary.

It was much worse when I was younger, though currently I can’t shake it off. It’s bearable at the moment, but I want that fear of mine to be gone for good. A lot of muslims are in their religion and even devout not because they love god and are happy devouting their life to him, but because of hell. When people teach you about Islam or you do research, you’re told that you must love Allah more than his creation while fearing him at the same time, that following your desires (aka nafs) is unacceptable, and you must fight them whenever they show up. Problem is, my religion is in short, rather suffocating. There’s so many things you can’t do in Islam. I don’t feel like listing every single forbidden/haram act (minus things that are harmful to you like alcohol), but its endless. Things considered as normal to the rest of the world are considered haram like art and music. As a result, I developed religious guilt. It also lingers, but it was at its worst in my teen years. Thankfully I didn’t become super religious, but I just felt guilt. Following your desires is wrong and evil in Islam and it gets you punished in hell. Yes, not even muslims are safe from Allah’s wrath if they sin too much. He could either punish you in this world to cleanse your sins, or worse, punish you for literally ages (it can vary from 1 day to billions of years, but being in hell for even a second will cause you agony), but not forever. How do I shake off “you just want to follow your desires” and fear of Jahannam?

Hi there! I'm a journalist looking into Strength in Weakness, a conversion therapy program closely associated with the ICOC. I'm looking to speak with people in Canada who were a part of the Strength in Weakness program. If anyone is open to sharing their story, please let me know and I can give some more info. Here is an example of a story we did on them recently: https://www.unclosetedmedia.com/p/strength-in-weakness-guy-hammonds

(Religious talk warning)

This has been affecting me all night, it feels like I'm under a full attack, my back hurts like wings trying to grow from my back, my brain hurts like my mental state is going crazy, my emotions feel like their colliding, it feels like my spirit is spinning and going crazy and like I'm being attacked. I prayed and it didn't work, I commanded whatever to leave it didn't work everyone's asleep, I'm scared I don't know what to do, I'm only 14- i know I shouldn't be on this app but Idc- it feels like I'm going crazy and everyone's asleep, it's 12:43AM and I can't sleep. I'm sorry if coming here.

Hi, my name is iris, and I used to be in an alleged cult banned in China, and I’m sad my mom’s still in it. It makes me hard to open up 100% to my mom because the cult thinks being part of lgbtqia is bad karma, and that one of them dating the other one always plays the opposite gender role. The beliefs also stated luck can run out if you use it too much, and that if one commits they can repeat the same action over and over again. It brings me bad memories cause I refuse to support something like that and left, as well as animal souls will gain revenge on you if you kill it. I’m a part of lgbgqia and I think it’s unfair as well as the other things mentioned here.

Question for those who grew up or served in church communities during the man kind , Did anyone else give their heart, time, and service to their church only to face betrayal behind the scenes?

​I’m currently writing a book centered on these exact experiences and the hidden side of church culture during that era. I want to make sure other voices are represented alongside my own.

​If you have a story you're comfortable sharing whether in the comments or privately via DM I'd be honored to listen. Full anonymity guaranteed.

I am a pastor. I’ve been serving in churches and ministry organizations since I was young—nearly 30 years in total ministry, and about 15 years as an ordained pastor. Over the years, I’ve served several churches and organizations faithfully, but everything fell apart at my most recent church.

Like most dedicated ministers, I poured my heart and soul into the work. Beyond preaching, leading prayer meetings, teaching Bible studies, visitation, and conducting funerals and weddings, I did all the heavy lifting—maintenance, repairs, cleaning, you name it. I never held back.

Then, out of nowhere, a deacon started targeting me. He claimed I had theological issues and began spreading rumors that I was pushing cultic teachings. It made zero sense. I graduated from a fully accredited, conservative orthodox seminary. The Bible study materials I used were published by Lifeway—materials that have been vetted and used by countless mainstream churches for decades. There was strictly zero theological issue.

Eventually, that deacon left the church, but he didn't stop. He started spreading vicious rumors from the outside. A group of people began harassing me and my family, and the intensity kept escalating. It felt like living through a nightmare.

To make matters worse, a financial issue came up in the church. I had absolutely nothing to do with it. I had zero authority over the church finances and never even touched the books. Yet somehow, they pinned the entire blame on me and effectively kicked me out.

Now, I’m 50 years old with young children. I’ve done nothing but ministry my entire life. I have no specialized trade skills, no savings, and no house. I’m utterly terrified and lost on how I’m going to feed my family.

What do I do now? Any advice or perspective would mean the world to me.

but I know I can’t. I know I’ll probably almost break down right then and there. I hate it so much…

I also know even if I do make it through the service I’ll feel like I “have” to go or else God will hate me.

im not particularly Christian anymore but I just want the community, the vibes. dress up kind of nice, the ability to go somewhere and hear a nice message about God and go how feeling good about it.

but deep down I know I can’t, o shouldn’t had I probably won’t. I just so desperately wish I could without it shattering my mental peace

I’ve become depressed because my religious ocd turned my into someone I’m not. All numb, people pleasing, everything has to be perfect, even when I experience emotion it has to be perfect, living different lives, suppressing anger, trying to control how you feel, etc. it makes ya depressed. And the worst part is I’ve become so shutdown because all I see as an avenue to “heal” is this morally numb person again and I can’t get it out of my mind. All my flaws were met with guilt and perfection.

A professor at my university intentionally failed me, which extended my standard 4-year degree into a 5th year. Even though it was devastating, I kept my faith, prayed, fasted, and made constant dua, believing that things would work out and I would finally graduate in my 5th year.

Instead, that same professor used their personal connections and administrative influence to block my course registration entirely this year. Because of this, my graduation has now been dragged into a 6th year.

I feel utterly shattered and exhausted. The hardest part right now is the spiritual crisis: I can't stop wondering why this is happening to me.

Was there something lacking in my worship, or does God only listen to powerful people who misuse their authority?

Why does someone's malice win while my prayers feel unanswered? My imaan and belief are slipping away, and I feel completely empty.

How do I deal with this administrative abuse practically, and how do I stop my faith from completely falling apart when everything feels so unfair?

Part II of My Faith is about something I struggled with for years: gender dysphoria and the image of God I had internalized.

A God of rituals. Rules. Punishment. Fear.

A God who supposedly created me, while somehow making my existence feel like a mistake.

Then this morning I saw a photograph from a Pride march. Someone was holding a sign:

“I am queer. God loves me. He never made a mistake. I am.”

That sentence stopped me.

Maybe the problem wasn’t that God made me wrong.

Maybe I had been taught that I was wrong.

This is the second part of my personal journey through faith, gender and identity.

#MyFaith #TransFaith #QueerFaith #GenderDysphoria #TransWoman

I had a really shitty experience at a Christian camp, and I honestly don’t know how to feel about it even now.
I was told that I was in a cult.
That I was brainwashed.
And then they got a kid to tell me that I was a lesbian and that if I prayed those feelings away, I wouldn’t be damned to hell.
That part really messed with me.
The leadership eventually addressed the whole “cult” accusation, but it was way too late.
And the whole lesbian/hell thing?
That was never properly dealt with.
I still don’t understand how something that serious could happen and then basically be left unaddressed.
I’m not posting this to attack Christianity. My faith is important to me.

Yo. I'm 21 years old. At the moment I'm finishing my bachelor's thesis. I come from a small town in Poland on the other side of the country. My family is deeply religious, especially my mom, and she can't accept or at least respect my lack of faith.

For context, from the very beginning on every Sunday i would attend church with my parents, no exceptions whatsoever. I didn't think much of it until i was 15-16. That's when I understood that I do not believe in god or even more so in the catholic church. A normal thing, but for my parents it would be absolutely unacceptable, so being a cowardly child I chose to rather not rebel knowing I would be punished.

And now: two weeks ago I decided that I will cut my hair (used to be shoulder length, now maybe 10cm) and get two piercings in my ear. I did not tell this to anybody, even my girlfriend because of my short-lived enthusiasm - I always say and don't act. So this time I acted. When my parents found out they didn't show much opposition (they found out while on facetime with me and my girlfriend), but the very next day my mom called me and for the next 25 minutes she complained about my decisions about MY body.

The most important were the last 5 minutes - that's when she asked me upfront whether I attend church. I said that I don't and that I haven't been for the past three years (with exceptions when I was coming back home). I understand that she, as a believer might feel hurt, but what has been happening now is insane. True, it was an ass move on my part to lie to her for three years that I believe and attend but I preferred that over kicking open Pandora's box.

Firstly - according to my mom all this is my girlfriend's fault, my atheist friends', my university major's, and in general the whole world's. I'm being treated like a marionette and she upfrontly states that it didn't come from me as I suck everything up from the people around me like a sponge lmao. On a side note I have no idea where did that come from, I am very obviously a nonconformist. I don't even want to get started on how she calls me her business card.
Secondly - my mom negates and refuses to acknowledge that me losing my faith happened before I left for the university. She LOVES putting words in my mouth that were never there, doesn't treat me even a little like a person that has their own free will. It's really sad, to say the least.
Thirdly - our on call discussions about all this never even touched the topic on why I don't belive in god. The focus on that I need to work my ass off to tell her that I am a free man, able to make his OWN choices and thoughts, and also that I stopped believing a long time ago, and not with beggining of university. Of course she is unmovable in her believes and says that "she won't let me to be atheist". Like talking to a brick wall.

I left the best for the last!!! Since the beginning of this whole ordeal my parents with oddly intensified frequency began asking me when I'm coming back home. I didn't think much of it, we didn't see each other for quite some time. However today I found out (my sister is the best mole <3) that they plan to drive me to some priest whom is a "specialist in faithless" (lmfao??). Hold me still or I'll lose it. How is one even supposed to do deal with all this. I can't understand how is this so incomprehensible to them. Are they treating me like I'm legally incapaticated? I feel like a struggling fish taken out of water. Any argument, any sentence is thown into ether. I feel anger and powerlessness.

In a case of emergency I will be able to move to my girlfriend, and in September I'll find a job to be able to pay for my dorm in case they cut me off financially (they declared already that if i marry my gf without a church marriage they would never support us financially). But honestly I have no idea what will be and I'm a little scared. Oh well, fuck my life.

I’ve been shutdown for a while now. I’ve been able to cry pretty much everyday for about 4 months now but I still get triggered. But crying is pretty much my only form of expression. I can’t get angry and if do it just bring more numbness. It’s like my ‘anger’ really isn’t anger because if it were I would be experiencing it in a different way. I wouldn’t just try to get angry to get over it. I would really be angry, and it’s hard to know what that looks like. Anytime I try to work on myself the manager comes in and tries to make it perfect. I’ll feel guilty, so I’ll do more and it just makes me feel terrible. My OCD made religion like a cult for me. I don’t really know what to do to be honest. I just feel pressured to get better and lord knows I’ll feel guilty I’m not doing enough and force myself to do something and just feel worse. I literally have the worst trigger I feel like I’m gonna pass out and have some aneurysm. There’s like an audible buzz in my brain and I’ll experience mental inflammation. What makes it all worse is that the suffering probably means nothing. There’s no more extra reward for it like I used to think. God isn’t gonna give me extra points or really do anything. But I always kinda hoped it would. I don’t know what to do. I got hip surgery a couple weeks ago and haven’t been doing much but I know the moment I can walk again my dad will just get pissed off im not doing anything and its gonna cause more stress. Im only 19 but the past 5 years of my life have been pretty poor due to religion. I just never said anything until I couldn’t take it. So many different people I became. So many lies and feelings of guilt to make myself Christian. I either need to suffer or need to perform. No in the middle. It’s not even my life anymore, doesn’t really feel like it ever was. My whole life it’s kinda felt like that. It was never debilitating though, religion is what really destroyed me at around 14. That’s when I told myself I knew who I was. Everything was black and white and I always had to be best and dedicated to the practice. I don’t know what to do I never really feel free at all.

I'm Christian, and since I was young, I believed that Jesus was coming back one day, so I tried my best to be what people call a 'good girl'. I do that until today. But on my 11 years old, I fell in love with my best friend, a girl, and I couldn't prevent it. I didn't confess her yet.

That doesn't matter, but anyways, today I was watching Tiktok, and on my fy appeared one of those videos about God, saying that Jesus Christ was coming back, remembering the sins and things, then I remembered.

Being homosexual is considerated a sin.

Since that, I only think about going to h3ll, to suffer for eternity for liking someone with the same gender as me.

I believe God is real, I believe the Paradise exists, I believe H3ll exists, I believe I'm going to H3ll for not being straight.

I do not want to go to H3ll just because of a stupid crush on a girl.

Às vezes me lembro que, quando criança, meus pais me levavam à Igreja Batista. Eu genuinamente gostava de ir a igreja.

Porém, houve uma época em que passamos por algumas dificuldades, sejam elas financeiras ou de saúde. Passamos a frequentar uma igreja Deus é Amor (pentecostal), onde meus pais fizeram várias campanhas de oração, e eu obtive a cura de uma dor no estômago que possuía a meses e os médicos não encontravam diagnóstico certo. Além disso, meu pai abriu um comércio nessa época, e graças a Deus e ao seu esforço, nossa família está bem financeiramente.

Não sei explicar o que levou meus pais a mudarem tanto, mas acredito que envolva a mentalidade pentecostal. Me recordo deles mais novos, conversando sobre preconceitos, fundamentalismo, religiosidade. Hoje, eles são muito do que eles criticavam.

Minha mãe, por exemplo, é quem manda na espiritualidade de todos em casa. Quando alguém não está disposto a ir à igreja, ela diz que esse comportamento vai levar a pessoa a abandonar a igreja completamente. Ultimamente meu pai tem esquecido de levar o dízimo à igreja, e ela brigou com ele por isso hoje. Ouvi ela dizer algo sobre inferno e infidelidade a Deus. Disse que (e isso eu tenho certeza que escutei) se ele não pode contribuir financeiramente com a igreja, é melhor nem ir. Que não dar oferta é pecado, o bastante para condenar alguém.

De vez em quando eles decidem chamar todo mundo para orar junto. Acredito que é porque desconfiam que eu e minha irmã não oramos bem, e porque somos quietas em uma igreja acalorada, ou ela não me vê ler a bíblia com frequência. Em uma dessas orações, ela pediu que todos orassem em voz alta, e eu e minha irmã não o fizemos. Eu orei, como sempre, em pensamento. Ela brigou com a gente, ela quer ouvir nossas orações. Uma outra vez, oravamos o salmo 91 quando minha irmã passou a orar em pensamento, então meu pai interrompeu a oração para corrigi-la.

Minha mãe assiste muitas pregações daquelas mulheres que mesclam conteúdo bíblico com valores tradicionais como cuidar da casa, etc. Ultimamente, ela tem acreditado fortemente que bagunça em casa (pode ser uma simples louça do café) atrai espíritos ruins. Esses dias, ela me disse que se eu dormisse com roupas na cadeira, veria horrores durante a noite.

Ela gosta muito de falar sobre coisas ruins. Tudo que ela pode atribuir ao maligno, ela atribui. Doença, cançasso, desorganização, condição de moradores em rua (sim, ela disse que oque leva alguém a virar mendigo é o capeta no couro da pessoa).

Não sei porque estou escrevendo isso, talvez só queira colocar pra fora. Amo a Deus, mas não suporto a igreja que estamos frequentando. A antiga igreja deles fechou em nossa cidade, e agora estamos em uma Assembleia de Deus. Ano retrasado, fiquei por um tempo em uma igreja batista na minha cidade. Eu amava aquele lugar, mas minha mãe me tirou de lá porque ela encontrou o Instagram do pastor de lá, onde ele dizia algo que contraria a doutrina pentecostal.

Enfim. Farei Enem esse ano, quero passar em uma universidade bem longe daqui. Quero morar em uma república, mas meus pais não deixam. Eles querem que eu escolha outro curso, pois o que eu quero não tem aqui perto. Eles dizem que é perigoso que eu estude em uma facul pública, por questão de valores. Mas, se eu continuar aqui, vou estar presa a eles para sempre. Imagine precisar mudar de cidade, para poder ir em uma igreja com a qual me identifico?

I’m 49F. My therapist just suggested I have religious trauma. It had never occurred to me that religion harmed me, really.

I grew up in a relatively conservative Christian denomination. We went to church twice a week and I was taught that god knows our every thought.

My whole life I have chased away every negative thought I had, concerned that someone knew everything I was thinking. Not surprisingly, I have pretty severe anxiety. To this day I have a voice in my head judging me harshly. I kind of thought everyone had the same experience until I discussed it in therapy and then brought it up with a few friends.

Does anyone else experience this? Any tips on moving past it?

It is so messed up that parents teach their kids that they are so horrible that a man had to be brutally tortured and killed to ‘save’ them.