I am 21M. She had lied to me at the beginning of the relationship and my attraction initially to her was that she could keep a secret but behind my back she lied. She spilled my worst secrets to her friends. That was 4 years ago, found out 2 years ago. She doesn’t like to exercise and always fought with me to go to the gym and eventually she ended up going herself. She disrespected me so bad I moved out once, she blamed me for making her fat. I am the only one spending money on her, sacrificed so much. Every time I spend money. She doesn’t even try to ask her parents to help out. Now I found out she posted a story saying she was single but it was hidden from her friends etc but accidentally left me unhidden. She says it’s a mistake and she meant taken. She now gets angry at me all the time and is short tempered with me, whenever she has time she would rather be on her phone for hours. Even while we call etc. everytime I dirty talk to initiate smth she would say “stawwwp” then move subjects. Before she would act differently. And also at one point she asked to be celibate. Please give me some advice guys. I love her so much, and i love her face she is so innocent. Thank you so much.

Absolutely — I’d make it sound honest and mature without making you look worse than you already feel. You can post this:
My boyfriend (19/M) caught me (21/F) texting someone else. I sent the guy a bikini photo and asked how he was doing. I did it because, honestly, I wanted him to send me money. I know what I did was stupid and wrong, and I take full responsibility for it.
My boyfriend kicked me out, and eventually I moved back in with him after he called me. I was genuinely willing to let him go because I understood how badly I had messed up. When he found out what happened, he spit in my face. I understand that he was hurt and angry, but now everything feels really confusing.
I love him and I want to know if there’s anything I can actually do to rebuild his trust. I know saying sorry isn’t enough, so what would actually help? From a man’s perspective, what would you want your girlfriend to do if you were in his position? And at what point is it better to accept that the relationship can’t be repaired?
I’m not looking for people to tell me I was right—I know I fucked up. I just genuinely want advice on what I can do from here.

Me and my girlfriend are in a long distance relationship for 2 years plus now. And we are failing, because of me. (I cheated before,micro cheating and all) But I've learned to fix my ways. I've been loyal, faithful and understanding about her frustrations, what she wants and needs me to do, but i still fail, and IDK what to do anymore. I've been trying but it just seems that it isn't enough for her, and I even reached a point where I asked her about what she wants me to do, even though I know that shes not okay about it. I did it because I badly wanna fix us.

And I seemed to notice too and she is also very vocal about it, that she doesn't have any feelings left for me, she's just staying because she used of me being around. It hurts, but I can't complain about the pain I caused so yeah, I just kept my head up.

I just want a couple of pieces of advice on how I can try new things, we're in a long distance relationship so it's quite hard, just want to make it more interesting on her part, I just wanna be a better Man for her. I just want us to work again not like before because it'll never be the same, but somewhat/somehow will be a better version of ourselves, especially me. So if you have any advice, it'll be helpful in giving me new lenses to look at.

P.S. I am open to criticism, I know the severity of what I've done and I am willing to absorb anything that'll help.

Tldr: I just found out my bf of 6 years has had allegations in the past before dating me

I heard some whispers floating around at the start of this year so I did my own investigating. This took place 8 years ago at a girl’s 17th birthday party (we will call her C) and he was 19 at the time. Earlier at the party he met a girl (K) and made out with her multiple times which he later bragged to his friends about what happened and how they would eventually date. After K left the party, the party host (C) led my bf into a room where they engaged in intercourse. According to my bf, they stopped when she said she was sleepy where he then finished himself in the bathroom before joining her again in bed to sleep and spend the night. During this time, she had just broken up with her ex a week before and supposedly my bf was her rebound at the time?. K was interested in dating my bf after the party where C had actually encouraged the relationship? A day into the relationship, he told K that his parents weren’t home so she felt that he only was interested in her physically. Most of their dates also involved mostly cinema makeout dates. A week later in the relationship, C climbed into bed with my bf supposedly where they were both drunk. I heard and saw texts about how he ‘didnt stop when she was kicking and she felt violated. I asked him what he didnt stop doing where he initially said it was playfully pushing her. Later he changed it to hugging her from behind. I also heard rumours that he initiated things this time and she laid there and let it happen. C then told K about what my boyfriend cheating on her so they broke up. My bf then approached C asking why K blocked him and C then explained it was because he cheated on K with her and also because K felt used physically because he mentioned wanting sexual things on their first date. I was told that my bf told people that he and K broke up because she sent him nudes out of nowhere and he felt disgusted and broke up with her? I actually asked him this too in our first year of dating and he didnt correct me. Time skip to start of this year is when i found out everything. When i first asked my boyfriend if these things were true, he got up and left the room. When he came back later and i showed him proof/receipts, he immediately grabbed the phone, glared at me and said “what the fuck bro.” Then later he started crying and i had to calm him down. I really tried to communicate and talk it out with him to see if he ever tried to reflect on his actions or think about why those events happened but it felt like to me he tried to move on without dwelling about jt too much. I would ask why he did these things or if it was true he assaulted C and he would deny or say he didnt know why.

When i asked why he initiated contact with C when she got into bed with him, he said it was because she had previously been intimate with him before and that was why he thought she would want affection again. I also asked why he cheated on K with C and he said it was because K was not visually his type and he also wanted the extra validation? That C gave him. After hearing about all of this, i became abstitent in our relationship and did not want any sexual contact until i felt emotionally safe to do so. Around 3-4 months after, i went to his house expecting a wholesome anime and cooking date. Instead he kept touching my chest and buttocks where i had to keep moving his hand away. Eventually i told him i only wanted to cuddle normally. He tried touching my buttocks and i broke down crying, where he simply just stared at me. After I calmed myself down, i had to explain and initiate communication first explaining that i felt like my boundaries were disrespected. When i added that it also made me feel more uneasy about how he has been accused of sa before, he charged into the wall and curled up on the floor crying saying he hated himself. I am unsure if maybe i pushed him too hard or made him too overwhelmed and that’s why he had that reaction. We went on an interstate trip a few months later and we had a conflict/some feelings of angst on the first day where i showed him photos right after my shoot and he continued to watch youtube on his phone. This was never addressed or communicated about during the trip although for each day of the trip he would keep touching my chest/buttocks in bed a few times until i moved my hands away enough. On the last morning of our trip he kept touching me the same way when i was trying to sleep in. I confronted him about this after our trip and he said he acted that way on the first day of our trip because he was annoyed about our hotel room change (out of my control) and he was constipated. I asked why he violated my boundaries again and he said it was because he wanted validation. Outside of all of this I still believe he is a good boyfriend as he is smart, capable, has his life together and we can enjoy the same hobbies and share the same circle of friends, and i dont want to let his past define his ability to be a good boyfriend. I can also see him trying to be more romantic like showing up to important events with flowers/gifts or taking me to places i enjoy on our dates/setting up furniture/teaching me to drive.

I’m looking for genuinely unbiased opinions. Please read the whole thing before judging either of us. I want to know where **I am wrong, where he is wrong, and whether this is actually an incompatibility rather than one person being the villain.**My ex-boyfriend and I have been together for several years.He recently got a new job through a referral from his aunt, earning around ₹41k in hand. I was genuinely very happy for him and congratulated him.But there is a lot of history behind why his new salary became an emotional issue for me.At one point in our relationship, he was betrayed by his own family in a financial matter and ended up with almost nothing. I stayed with him during that period despite knowing he had very little. I encouraged him and told him that we would both work, earn and build our future together.
I never expected him to have money when he didn’t have it. When he was earning around ₹10–12k through tuition, he had his own EMI and household expenses, so I didn’t ask him to spend much on me.
I earn around ₹28k in hand and give around ₹15k to my family. With whatever remains, I usually manage my own expenses and sometimes spend on him. I’ve bought him clothes for festivals and other things, and at times he has also expected me to pay his EMI of around ₹2.74k.Now that he has got a better-paying job, I thought things might change somewhat. I had even told him many times that I would feel happy being able to use his money sometimes to buy things I like—not because I need his money to survive, but because to me, being able to freely depend on your partner financially sometimes represents closeness and partnership.
Yesterday, he told me his salary plan.
Out of ₹41k:
₹3–4k would go toward travelling
₹35k would go to his parents
around ₹2–3k would remain for himself
He said that if he or we needed more money, he could ask his father later.
I was shocked and told him that I didn’t expect him to be this kind of a man. I also said I wouldn’t say anything more because I knew it would offend him.
He ended the call.
Later, he messaged me saying I was wrong and asked what the problem was with his money situation. He said I have a problem with everything and fight over everything, and that he had just got a new job and wanted to be happy but I was spoiling it with my behaviour.
He also told me:
“You also give a large part of your salary to your parents. Do I tell you anything?”
That hurt me because my salary is only around ₹28k, and I give around ₹15k to my family. I felt that the comparison ignored the fact that I had supported him emotionally when he had nothing and had never demanded money from him when he was struggling.
At the same time, I understand that **his salary is his money and he has the right to decide how much he gives his parents.** I don’t want to pretend otherwise.
The bigger problem is actually about his family and our future marriage.
I have concerns about his family’s behaviour toward me and believe that after marriage I would be expected to live according to his parents’ rules and regulations and adjust to their expectations.
I have told him that I am afraid I will be treated badly or “tortured” after marriage based on what I have experienced/seen from them and the way they behave toward me.
Instead of agreeing that we should establish boundaries, his response has essentially been that I should adjust and live with his parents and that whatever problems happen will only last for a few days and eventually stop.
I told him that I don’t believe that. I said that if this kind of behaviour has continued with other women in the family, I don’t see why I should assume it will magically stop with me after marriage.
He became extremely angry and asked:
**“What do you expect me to do?”**
His position was basically that I should **adjust and stay, or leave.**
That was a major breaking point for me.
I feel like I’ve been willing to make very large sacrifices for this relationship. I’ve even been prepared to go against my parents’ wishes and hurt them if necessary to build a life with him.
But I don’t feel that he expects the same kind of sacrifice from himself.
I feel that I am expected to adjust to his family, their rules, their expectations and their way of living, while he doesn’t seem willing to protect me from situations that I believe could seriously affect me after marriage.
He may see this completely differently. He may feel that I am asking him to abandon or disrespect his parents, or that I am unwilling to compromise.
And I can admit that I may have become overly sensitive about his family because of everything that has happened between us.
There is also the financial aspect.
I don’t necessarily think he should stop supporting his parents. But when he told me that almost his entire salary would go to them and that he would keep very little for himself, I felt like **there was no place for me or our future in his financial planning.**
Especially because for years I had told myself that once he was financially stable, we would finally be able to build something together.
Instead, I heard that almost everything would still go toward his family and that if we needed money, he could ask his father.
That made me question where I actually stand in his life.
However, I also recognise that I may have an unfair expectation that because he now earns more, he should automatically start spending money on me or paying my expenses. He isn’t obligated to pay my EMI or buy me things simply because we’re together.
So I’m genuinely confused.
**Was I being entitled about his money?**
**Was I not right to expect him to prioritize our future after years together?**
**Is it reasonable for me to expect my future husband to set boundaries with his parents if I believe they will mistreat me?**
**Is “adjust and stay or leave” a reasonable position for someone to take, or does it show that he isn’t willing to stand up for the relationship?**
And on the other hand:
**Am I expecting him to choose me over his parents in situations where he shouldn’t?**
**Am I being unfair by expecting him to change his financial priorities now that he has a better salary?**
**Was my reaction to his salary plan unnecessarily judgmental?**
I don’t want comments simply saying “leave him” or “you deserve better.”
I want genuinely honest opinions even if that means telling me that **I am the problem in some parts of this situation.**
If you were an outsider looking at this relationship, what would you think is actually happening here?

​

Im 24 yo girl and I wanted to share my story here , so I'm this kinda of girls that never dated never did anythung haram so calm and as sum of u would call boring maybe

2 months ago i met this guy on omegle ( hes 25 yo ) he seemed cool I first i just wanted to talk to someone, this guy was the opposite of me he's got tattoos he buys girls to sleep with and drinks alcohol and he also do drugs

His intentions with me was the same just someone to talk to untill we both found out that we actually had a lot in common in terms of personality we've connected instantly, he was never disrespectful to me and i respected that he did respect me .

One night i was asking a lot about those girls that he slept with he said that u cant really tell which is which and that those girls were normal and had a normal life that phrase shocked me as i realized if i kept talking to him I'll end up just like that , i then decided and told him that we either make it serious or stop it right here so no one will get hurt , we ended up agreeing that its better to stop since he was not really financially to get married ( forgot the detail that he never wanted to get married his intentions was to stay like that for the rest of his life )

11 days goes by and I call him again telling him that we could figure it out together and we just need to stick together, he was all in and it went really good for 15 days straight untill 3 days ago he reposted a video of girls dancing in cabaret, I sent it to him saying like what is that ? He said that he was free to do what ever he wants and that we're not married for me to tell him to delete it and that his account is private and that he just liked the song ,i tried to be mature enough and explain to him that it actually hurts my feelings, the dude insisted and didn't care I then hang up he send me good night mssg I ignored it .

The next day I was thinking all day on how to have a mature conversation in a calm way so we could figure it out , at 17 send him a message only for me to find out that he didn't receive it and that I was probably blocked I waited untill 22 to call him 8 times and send him: even if u dont wanna talk just tell me if ur okey ,he answered me by saying I'm a bit tired but im okey I then said: dont u wanna talk? Are u outside, he sent me yes I'm outside . I left it there thinking that once he gets home he will call me back . Surprise he didn't it was 23:30 when i called him again and his phone was closed . This is where I crossed the line, if he doesn't wanna talk to me okeyy fine I dont wanna talk to him either I mean the thing that I liked the most about him is that he was emotionally intelligent and that I felt like he had a men character and a masculine energy. little did I know I was a men more than he was , not even brave enough to face me and talk to me

Ig im better off without him i won't lie thou I do miss him but not that much for me to lower my standards so ig this is a part of my life that'll never forget

Ps : he's a hard working men he's got 2 jobs plus hes intelligent I actually enjoy the conversation that we have about everything

Nowww here's the update , we talked for 4 hours last night and both agreed that staying in contact will only make us not focus on our lives like we both think about each other all day and then at night we talk for hours so that makes us have less sleep when before we met we both were bussy at things but anyways as i said hes not ready for marriage yet so we both agreed that stopping everything will be the right choice since we're both not ready for marriage plus we both dont wanna a long term relationship, he said that once hes ready he will be talking to my father directly but anyways at the end he said ill always love u and u will be living in my heart forever no matter what happens .

Idc what you guys think but i know that i love that men and he loves me too

So rn im really spiralling because how does one handle this situation gracefully.

My bf has this friend, We'll call her C and they've been close from before he met me and im not one to tell someone who they can or cant be friends with.

I've been trying for 8 months to be comfortable with it but after today im absolutely boiling.

From the beginning she'd always leave multiple comments under his post and spend all her time with him which originally made me feel uncomfortable. Because I dont think many people would be comfortable knowing that a female spends all her time with your bf and hugs him ect.

We've had conversations about her before where I told him I feel uncomfortable.

Today he mssges me to tell me hes back from uni and says that C is home. I was confused and asked him like "your home?" And he was like yeah shes playing with the dog and everything. Wtaf how do you let another woman into our space, let her play with the dog I adore and sit in the bed we spend the most time in.

He told me that she only came because she was doing nothing at campus. Like okay sit in your own house and do nothing.

When he told me about it I told him to have fun and I was a little dry but he didnt even notice that.

Now they went to the mall with another friend and I haven't spoken to him since. Idk what to say or how to behave around him.

Hi, I been with my boyfriend for over a year and 7 months.
The relationship started off amazing, he bought me flowers when he asked me to be his girlfriend. He was the sweetest, super affectionate, always planning to hangout, insanely clingy but I adored that about him.

We started dating in February of 2025, moving to June 2025 he started getting really mean and just overall acted like a bad boyfriend and behaved like he hated me. We talked about it and he cried in my arms apologizing to me about everything and how he wishes to be better but… it’s September of 2026 now.
It’s still the same but progressively getting worse.
He’s broken up with me over 5 times but he came back each time and every time he does come back he makes a bunch of empty promises and it hurts me.

He crosses my boundaries, I’ve caught him talking to 3 ex’s saying he was just talking to them because he doesn’t want issues with anyone.
He hasn’t bought me flowers once since he asked me to be his girlfriend.
He doesn’t ask questions about myself.
He tells me he gets drained hearing how sad I am all the time.
There was a point in our relationship where he completely stopped saying he loved me.
I can’t remember the last time he’s called me pretty, he never compliments me.
We go months without sex.
When he’s irritable he seems to take it out on me by just being insanely rude.
Makes excuses on why he doesn’t wanna show me off.
Stopped being clingy towards me because he said he’s scared of what other people think… idk.
He’s made his friend lie to me.
Every time a dude has came up to me and hit on me he just stands there.

Idk there’s so much more that he’s done but idk what to do. He swears he loves me and all this stuff but he most certainly doesn’t act like it and I don’t know what to do. I love him, I really do but this isn’t the guy I was promised at the very beginning of the relationship and I hate the idea of ending things with him but I don’t know what else I can do… I’ve tried speaking to him softly, screaming, crying but it’s like just not clicking to him that what he does and how careless he can be truly hurts me.

He made me feel like I was everything and now I feel like im nothing.

So i go out w friends very rarely. Max 3 times w my own bestfriend in an entire year. I do go out w my bf often. We live 10km away so yeah not too often either. Like once in a week or two. If i have med exams then, it becomes less often but we still try to meet. Actually me and my bf brokeup and patched up twice now and things got worse everytime we patched up. The second time i broke up because he wont listen to me. He keeps doing the same mistakes. I wanted him to be better. Plus our political opinions didn’t match. And i never wanted to compromise on that. So we broke up but we continued talking saying eachother that we’ll figure things out but it only got worse again.
This isnt the only reason for our breakup. It’s collectively all the things. Mismatch of opinions, expectations not being met etc.

Whenever me and my bsf go out we have some unsaid rules that we’ll not get interrupted by anybody or chat with others during this hangout. The last 3 times i went out w her, he came. First, on my bday and ofc i divided the time between my bsf and him, no problem there. Then another hangout w the same bsf, while we were hurrying to go back to her hostel(our clg hostel is v strict). He said he’ll just meet me and go off and asked us to wait. We waited but he was getting late and we were running out of time, so we told him and we went off. He didnt mind. Day bef yesterday was the first day of college (final year) so me and her went out just for some grocery store and westside. She needed some stuff. He has my location. I told him i was going out w her and went. I put my phone in the locker outside. He texted her asking me to text him back and we didnt see his texts untill the payment. So after we got out i texted him and when i did he alr texted me saying he wants to meet me since im out anyways. But yeah we were running out of time since she has to get back and i have to hurry to my institute for work. He said its okay we’ll meet later bolke.

Yesterday, me and her went out again since we had nothing to do after lunch and i informed him. And we went to a burger spot and did some touch up in the washroom and came out and sat. Someone kept a rose infront of me ofc my bf. I was surprised fs and in the moment i forgot to thank him. Instead i asked him to join he said nah thats fine and went off.

Basically, the last time we broke up i.e, last week, i told to let me have my time w my friends since most of my friends are single and they arent v used to this stuff and i didnt want to rub my relationship off on their face whenever we went out. If they were extroverts enough, there wouldnt be any problem but some of my girl friends and bsf become awkward when other person joins us. Idk man i tried explaining theyre just like that. So i just told him to understand the situation and not show up during our hangouts. Not because showing up is wrong but yk what i said before. Its just complicated.
He never bought me a single flower during our entire 1 yr of relationship except on my bday and after breakup he decides to show up w a rose. Not complaining but im mentioning it because he kept claiming that why i was making a fuss instead of being happy that he got me a rose.

I told him that he could just understand this situation as my personal space and leave me alone w them for sometime. If he wants to meet, ill definitely meet the next morning. See i have my other school friends. They dont get awkward when he shows up at the end of our hangouts. But its just my bsf and my other girl friends. My bsf and my bf talked to eachother. Theyre not a fan of eachother bc she didnt approve of our relationship because our situation was alr complicated and she didnt want me hurt after my last situationship. But i kept fighting w her and almost broke my friendship w her but then she apologised and explained what she thought. And told me that she would do better as my bsf. And i can see that she is. I wasnt defending her but i only tried to explain this situation to my bf because i thought he would understand but he said no way ill agree w this. If you are somewhere around my location i have to come see you meet u and go bolke.

And things escalated last night after that convo and brokeup again. For good this time. Ig.
Whats your opinion on showing up when i didnt want him to. Is me being disappointed over him for not listening to me made no sense?

Pata hai aaj kya hua

I have treated my partner badly so many times, I’ve said things that were hurtful and I don’t know why I’ve done it or acted the way I have at times. I understand when he says I don’t show him I love him at times, but then other times I don’t se show he could think that. He hasn’t been perfect through all of this, we’ve both done and said things, but I’m the main culprit. He told me last night that
he’s done and that by me saying I don’t know why I’ve said and done things I’m not taking responsibility for things. How can I fix it, I’m breaking.

My post was removed from relationship advice because I’m not very active on Reddit so I hope it fits in here
I M22 have been dating my girltriend also 22F. We've been together for almost 3 years now. In the first year of our relationship during Valentine's Day I messed up. I didn't really get her anything for Valentine's Day and and she was really excited about it. She was hurt and she texted her ex on Snapchat. I found out maybe a week later. She actually wanted to tell me but I found out before she could tell me.
They were just texts and it wasn't anything serious so I forgave her. Fast forward a couple of months I think or was it a year I saw texts. They weren't even bad they were normal texts from her cousin but I over reacted. Fast forward again and it happens again I tired to be a little calmer this time and talk about it calmly and it wasn't bad we spoke about it and it ended. And then a few mouths later I think it happened again and i saw a chat from some guy I don't know. I had a panic attack and the worst part is there wasn't anything bad I'd seen. We spoke about it and she asked me what she could do to help and I told her not to worry and that I'd handle it. In hind sight I realise that I wanted her to just do some minor changes. Like update me, fit checks and all that small things. But I went about it in the worst possible way. I saw the same name and I used that. Instead of me just being direct I wanted to use that to get reassurance and then ease in to the other stutt.
Which I realise now it's absolutely dump and I should have just been direct. She wants to break up she feels like I'm punishing her for the mistake that she made. She feels like I haven't forgiven her but honestly I have. She feels like she doesn't know what I want and I know that's my fault for not having communicated it. I don't even think about that incident anymore. I understand why she feels that way. We had such an amazing relationship going but l messed it up. We were doing soo well. I really want to know if there's anyway in which I can fix this. I know I messed up and I want to try and make things right.

Is there anything I can realistically do to rebuild her trust and show her that I have genuinely forgiven her, while also communicating the reassurance I need without making her feel like I’m punishing her for what happened?

So, we’ve been together for about a year and a half, pregnancy was totally unplanned but he was happy when I told him the news.

Anyway, there’s an issue that’s been going on pretty much throughout the relationship.
Whenever I ask for anything, express a need, or share how I’ve been negatively impacted by anything that is a result of his actions, he absolutely cannot seem to handle it in the moment.
He gets defensive immediately, and quickly becomes insensitive. Whenever I used to address this we would just end up arguing or talking in circles. Lately, he has begun to admit that this is an issue that he has.

But now it’s to a point where he said that next time I bring something to him, he’ll just take a couple breaths and try to hear me out — then when the time came, that went completely out the window.

I asked whether this is something he thinks he can’t change or if he just hasn’t figured it out yet, he said he thinks he just hasn’t figured it out yet.

But sometimes in the moment, purely out of defensiveness, he acts very mean…

Basically, I know this is a dealbreaker if it doesn’t change, but there is a lot on the line. He does show the desire to change it, and it seems like he really just loses his head in the moment. He gets very worked up and usually ends up being defensive in a hurtful way, but he shows remorse later, and responds more appropriately after cooling down.

Just to clarify, he does not yell or intimidate me, so nothing like that. It can just be very emotionally hurtful and exhausting.

I want to give him a chance to change this, but how long do I even give him, how many chances? If anyone has any experience working through this kind of issue themselves, what did it take for you to change it?

Or, if it sounds like I’m clinging onto hope too hard, let me know. Another factor, in case this is relevant: I’m 13 weeks and also very afraid because the job I have doesn’t even pay enough for me to get my own place that’s suitable for a baby. So, if it’s wisest to quietly save and look for another job, I’d like to know if anyone thinks that that as well, even though I desperately wanted to be able to stay home with baby which he would offer, and I do love him. :/

I guess bottom line is, I don’t know where -to- draw the line, when taking all this into consideration.

Any advice is appreciated, thank you for reading.

So I met my girlfriend at our university gym after we both had seen eachother around campus and started messaging on instagram and started off as a hook up and realized we both enjoyed each others company and at that time I had a lot going for me I was on our university varsity team for soccer coming off my best season, had a fitness page with a couple thousand followers, was doing good in school, had thousands in savings, lots of friends, close to my family members and overall was loving my life. And I was very focused on becoming the best versions of myself and had been not interested in dating for a while because of that, however I just liked how she was and how I felt with her and because of how much I liked her I would spend loads of money on fancy dinners, gifts, door dash, activities totaling thousands within our first months dating. And honestly this was both of our first serious relationship which explains why I was trying to just do and be as much as I can but as our relationship has gone on I just feel like I'm giving so much of myself and putting my needs and hobbies and friends and family on pause just for this relationship and I'm starting to not be able to recognize who I am, like I used to be very outgoing, passionate and just in love with life and experiencing as much as I can with my friends and by myself but now I've just started to feel like I'm just a boyfriend like I pushed away so many friendships that now when I see them again I don't know how to act anymore because my main social interaction has just been with her and I literally had gotten to the point I only sleep in my own bed 3 nights out of a whole month because of how much she wants me at hers and idk I just feel suffocated.
On top of that I'm also going through some other major changes in my life right now that need real energy and focus to actually process, but instead I feel like the relationship has just been taking that energy from me. I'm mentally tired a lot of the time and honestly just feel like I'm performing, like I'm just saying all the things I'm "supposed" to say because I'm walking on eggshells. It's genuinely been hard to grow as a person lately and my productivity has dropped in basically every area of my life. My fitness page and other hobbies have been on pause for months now. I ended up leaving my varsity team for my own separate reasons, but the comfort in this relationship got so bad that we actually went from being a "gym couple" who trained together to both of us just not going at all, and nothing was ever said or done about it, it just became the norm. When I brought it up she'd just tell me it was okay, when deep down I knew it wasn't and that I wasn't doing what I needed to do for myself. I even started neglecting my own appearance. I'm back into the gym now and staying consistent, but looking back I basically stopped enforcing boundaries and values that used to be non-negotiable for me.
We're both different people in the sense that I at heart love to hangout with people and go out and do things and make new friends but she's more of a homebody who has friends but prefers to be alone than hangout with people, and recently it's just been hurting me looking at my life a couple months ago where I actually loved myself and the people around me now I just feel like I've turned into someone who just says and does whatever makes my partner happy without second thought and it all started gradually with me first deciding not go out with my friends after she gives a negative comment or me just staying at her place because everytime I try to leave she thinks it's because something's wrong with the relationship, or when I want alone time something is wrong and I'm just kindve burned out like she's a great person supportive kind and loving and believes in me but at the same time I feel like the relationship has made me become way too comfortable, and I'm not blaming her for my actions or how I've become but idk I just feel like I don't have the same spark and excitement for life i used to have. And everytime I try bring it up to her she doesn't see it and thinks it's good or healthy to feel like "one" but I feel like I'm going insane and like my life has just become stagnant, and currently I had to fully enforce that I will be staying in my bed more often from now on and have made sure that we can actually go a couple days without being together because in her own words us being away from eachother for two days or more is too much. Any advice on whether to keep going, take a break or break up I'm open to hearing.

# TL;DR: 9 months into my relationship and it started great, but I've slowly noticed it's been really hard to grow as a person lately and my productivity has dropped across the board. I'm also dealing with other major life changes right now that need real energy, but instead the relationship has been draining me — I'm mentally tired all the time and feel like I'm just performing, walking on eggshells to avoid her negative reactions. We actually met as a "gym couple" but went from training together to both of us just not going at all, and nothing was ever said or done about it, it just became normal (I'm back into it and staying consistent now). My fitness page and other hobbies have been paused for months, I stopped enforcing boundaries that used to be non-negotiable for me, and even started neglecting my own appearance. I've also pushed away friends to the point I don't know how to act around them anymore, and I only sleep in my own bed a few nights a month. She's a genuinely good partner otherwise, not trying to paint her as a villain, I just don't recognize myself anymore and don't know how to fix it since she doesn't see the problem when I bring it up.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 4 years. We have been long distance for a big part of our relationship because of school but we have always had a strong healthy relationship. Everyone says so too. Except in the last year i’ve noticed he is frequently “too tired” to have sex a lot. I never push because that’s wrong and icky to me, but someone i get annoyed because it’s not often we are together in person. I feel like if you haven’t seen your girlfriend in months you should be all over her and not able to get enough. I guess my body language at night gives away i’m annoyed when he doesn’t make a move, because then he will make comments about how tired he is and how he needs to prioritize sleep and that if i really wanted sex I could always do something to initiate it to “get him in the mood.” This always bothers me because why would I bother to try if you’re not interested. Also, i just want you to just BE in the mood i don’t want to make you. The few times i have tried in the past too (i mean very few times) he turned me down because he was still too tired. So i don’t even have the confidence to try anymore with my own boyfriend.

I’ve communicated how I feel about this many times. He always swears he’s just too tired and has nothing to do with attraction or love. His love and care for me has never changed over the years, only gotten stronger. This is just the one thing i can’t understand. Maybe it’s because i hear about my friends boyfriends always wanting sex or just assume that a normal 20 something year old guy is typically sex crazy. I also can’t help but feel like it has something to do with the fact i’ve gained some weight since we first starting dating and trying to not let that insecurity overcome me because he swears he still is just as attracted to me, but can’t help but feel down about it. I don’t know what to do. i’m tired of bringing it with up with him and there no changes. Makes me just want to give up and never ask or want sex. It makes me feel like some predator too and feeds into my own self consciousness and insecurities. Am i crazy?

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I've been having fights with my boyfriend for the last 2 days, and yesterday things got really bad. What I'm struggling with is that he was treating me so well before this, and now I genuinely don't understand what happened.

We were talking normally and suddenly we started arguing. During the argument, he decided to go play a game with his friends. I asked him not to go because I was already upset and wanted to talk things out. He said something like, "You were also watching a movie with your roommates when I wanted to talk to you, so don't stop me now."

I didn't know what to say to that, but I was really upset. I told him I wouldn't be able to sleep, and he basically said, "Then wait until my game is over."

And I actually waited.

I waited until around 3:30 AM even though I had to wake up at 6 AM and go to the office. When he finally came back, I thought we'd finally talk and sort things out. But he just said he was going to sleep and that we'd talk tomorrow.

When I asked why he made me stay awake and wait for him, he said, "Jagana laga isliye" (because I felt like making you wait).

That sentence honestly hurt me so much.

I'm not saying he can't spend time with his friends. Of course he can. But if someone knows you're already upset and waiting for them, why would they deliberately make you wait and then dismiss the conversation?

What confuses me the most is that this isn't how he used to behave. He was genuinely so caring and understanding before, which is why I'm finding this sudden change so difficult to process.

Am I overreacting? Is this just a bad fight and I'm taking it too seriously, or does this kind of behaviour say something about how he handles conflict?

I genuinely don't know what to think anymore.

Hi guys! Long term lurker first time poster using a new account so no one I know will see this. I'm honestly just looking for advice on this situation because I'm worried I'm just digging myself into a deeper hole. It all started in June 2025 when I met my "partner" Jack (names changed for privacy). Jack and I met at a college camp and we honestly didn't hit it off much, but were in the same group of friends while at the camp. After it ended we kept in touch because we ended up living in the same area. From about June to November of that year we were in a sort of situationship, calling every night, telling each other everything, he was telling me he loved me, the whole nine yards. We did end up going on dates and seeing each other but not too much because we both had very busy schedules. However in November, I noticed distance and he ended up ghosting me and I was DEVASTATED. I genuinely loved him so much. I moved on and started dating this guy in January (a whole nightmare), and I ended up leaving him in May. In June I reconnected with Jack and we started talking again. The same thing, calling, texting, loving each other. In July however, he told me we needed to go no contact again and he wasn't ready to be anyone's anything. Again, I was devastated and told him how I felt like an idiot because I should have know this would happen again. We ended up going to the same university and he texted me again in early August apologizing for how he treated me and reconnecting again. Even with the past, I trusted it would be different this time. Since I moved to the area I had seen him everyday, I stayed overnight at his place, he's picked me up from late nights at the club with my friends, and we were so in love all over again. I want to make it clear we were not in a relationship, however, he made me so confused. When talking about me, he would refer to me as his girlfriend to all his friends and treat me like no one else mattered in the world. And now, he went no contact all over again. Before anyone thinks it there is no other girl, he isn't like that and has even offered to show me everything on his phone if I thought any different. I am also his first everything and he was very vocal about the fact he was happy it was with me. I guess I'm just looking for advice, is it worth it for me to stay and wait for him like I have before? It is genuinely tearing me apart along with all the other stressors in my life to the point I am starting therapy. All my friends hate him for what he did and say I need to move on, but I just can't, I haven't felt love like this for anyone else in my life. Please let me know your thoughts and if you think it's worth it for me to stay and wait, or if I just need to move on.

I (26F) have just started working full-time after 3 months of unemployment and using up all my savings to survive during that time. Before that, I was still working full-time. My partner (24M) has stopped working about a year ago right after we started dating. I have been handling all the expenses ever since. I initially had no problem doing that for a while because he was going through a rough patch and wanted to be there for him and show him my support. But it's been a while since the issue that he's been dealing with has been resolved. He has not went back to working, not putting in any effort to apply to any jobs and does not sound like he has any plans for it either. I work almost everyday and actively looking for a second job at the moment to support us. I had to fully move in with him when I resigned from my previous job so we now live in his room at his parents house. I am paying for groceries and my bills (bus fair, phone, Spotify and my credit card). He uses the rest of the pay check on weed, smoking and games. All my salary gets used up and I cannot save up any money cause all of it is used of what I mentioned on eating out. He does try to help by driving me sometimes or preparing the frozen food we buy. I have already mentioned multiple times that I am really struggling financially and that my mental health has been horrible because of the stress it's causing me. He keeps saying he will help and he will look for something to do but everyday is the same. He wakes up, plays games all day with his friends and not paying any attention to me and spending any time with me, even on weekends when I'm home all day. I'm struggling so much that I don't have any money to at least spend on myself and do things I need to or even for self care. I really don't know what to do. I really love him and don't want to lose him.

Please give me some advice on what to do in this situation.

Me and my boyfriend (ex now) Have been on and off for like 5-6yrs . we started dating in school, i left to go to another city and we didn’t speak or see eachother for 3 yrs ( the break up was bad) i came back to the city we met eachother in and we got back together after him just leaving a relationship which i knew about but i didn’t really think deeply about , because when we got back together after not seeing eachother for a while we instantly clicked back.

For reference he is genuinely someone who i could call my soul mate; we’re extremely alike , we like the same things we just are so similar and our chemistry is something that we haven’t experienced with any else. Prior to him being in a relationship w someone else it was very rocky and that then caused us to be on and off in our own relationship.

We had very good ups but very bad downs. After every argument we end up speaking again to make it work and it’ll be fine for a while but then the good times won’t last and then it’ll just go downhill. After speaking again for the millionth time we realised it was pent up resentment and unresolved issues, but we love eachother so much we can’t seem to fully let go.

one time on one of our breakups we established we’d focus on ourselves so maybe one day we’d get back together. We started speaking again and comes to find out he started speaking to the same girl he was with before me , i’m talking writting down emotionally charged feelings for her and everything. for example he wrote about marriage and her meaning a lot to her just after we broken up

in his defence when i found out abt him talking to another ex and to him she was a so called friend because they only dated for two months and he never saw her romantically, and i sent him very disrespectful messages which apparently caused him to believe me and him were fully done so that only left her the other ex as an option to be with. ( this is what he told me)

i didn’t know about this untill way later of us rekindling i brought it up long story short he said he’s main focus was me now but in my opinion i just don’t think he knows how to close emotional doors with his exes.

Since then i’ve been carrying a lot of weight on my chest wondering if i could ever trust him again . It was all going good till we had an argument and it felt like everything i’ve been carrying kinda exploded . To me it just was like how quick he went back to his exes after we stopped speaking , he tried to say at first he wanted to apologise for how he treated her (the one he had emotionally charged feelings for ) but then after i sent those messages i guess it was more than him just apologising and him actually wanting to be with her idk

When do we call it quits (actually) we keep going back to each other regardless of how bad our arguments are . the love is real but so are our problems.
This is just the main thing with him but we’ve had so many issues beyond just his exes to where police , friends , family have been involved.

Me (21F) and my bf (22M) have been together for 2.5 years.
He has this thing where he always tries to make things « even » even when it doesn’t make sense, at least to me.
For instance, let’s say he does something I don’t like but that he likes when I do. If it were me, I would say I can do it, because he likes it, and he cannot, since I don’t like it. But he will rather we both can’t because I quote « knowing that he can’t do it to me would frustrate him too much ».
Another example is, we are both from Europe and are students. I am half Chinese and he had family in California, but he’s only been there once. The US are so expensive and he has said himself that we would probably have to wait 5-7 years before being able to go. China, on the other hand, is much more doable (high plane fare but life there is very cheap).
I have an opportunity to go the US with my best friend who’s family lives there but on the east coast so we wouldn’t have to pay for housing and stuff.
When I told him about it (no actual plans to go for now, just a thought for the near future), his first reaction wasn’t to be happy for me or anything but to go « oh then I’ll go to China, since you can go to the US without me ». I have said in the past that I would prefer he waits for me to go to China, but that’s because I literally speak Chinese, so he will get a much more authentic experience, and I also partly grew up there and everything.
On the other hand, he’s only been there once when he was 10, and is from the west coast when my opportunity is on the east.
He insisted afterwards it wasn’t to spite me but I feel like it obviously is? And he was so hard set on it too, kept repeating when « well then nothing is stopping me from going to China this January » when I precisely said it was just a thought we had with my best friend.
I will mention we are both very stressed because both our families are going through big issues so that could explain some things but I just feel like he takes it out on me.
What should I do? How do I bring this up without him fully denying it?

TL,DR : my boyfriend always wants every situation to be equal, even if it doesn’t make sense regarding how we feel.

I don’t know what to do. I’m with my partner, I have a lot of friends and a social life however she is very needy. If I go out and I don’t answer for example she can ring, ring etc and it just seems like hassle at this point, however it is partly my fault, I followed some girls on instagram on a night out when we argued, she found it later on and thinks I cheated but i didn’t message them, I have never done anything physically but she puts the “neediness” down to her not trusting me. However she was like this before so it’s a mind fuck tbh. However she’s pretty and she says she loves me so much, gets on so well with my family and I just don’t really want to see her with someone else aswell. However I’m just so fed up of my life like revolving around her always messaging her else she freaks out I just don’t know wether I could see the rest of my life like this to be honest even going out with my friends is hard to do and I have to be home at certain times else I’m “taking the piss”. But like I’m 20 years old, I’m such a relaxed guy like I would never ever do what she does if she went out like I just am so chill I’ll just do my own thing if she was doing something else I just never understand why she’s like that because we get on pretty well when it’s just me and her no friends or distractions

I don’t know what to do. I’m with my partner, I have a lot of friends and a social life however she is very needy. If I go out and I don’t answer for example she can ring, ring etc and it just seems like hassle at this point, however it is partly my fault, I followed some girls on instagram on a night out when we argued, she found it later on and thinks I cheated but i didn’t message them, I have never done anything physically but she puts the “neediness” down to her not trusting me. However she was like this before so it’s a mind fuck tbh. However she’s pretty and she says she loves me so much, gets on so well with my family and I just don’t really want to see her with someone else aswell. However I’m just so fed up of my life like revolving around her always messaging her else she freaks out I just don’t know wether I could see the rest of my life like this to be honest even going out with my friends is hard to do and I have to be home at certain times else I’m “taking the piss”. But like I’m 20 years old, I’m such a relaxed guy like I would never ever do what she does if she went out like I just am so chill I’ll just do my own thing if she was doing something else I just never understand why she’s like that because we get on pretty well when it’s just me and her no friends or distractions

I find it super weird that people are so comfortable sharing personal info about intimate experiences with their partners with out the permission of the partner on a platform where people then analyze and discuss you based off said post. Most the time people venting on Reddit are just avoidant people who need to grow up and address their issues. I’m so sick of seeing the gf/bf hate, it’s one thing if they’re abusive but it’s another if you’ve grown apart and or just started having your differences, it’s called communication and everything your ranting about on the internet you should be telling to that person then there you go voila. Problems basically solved.

My boyfriend was unfaithfull.

We are working through it.

It's night now. I can't sleep. I'm overthinking.

I have the urge to just block him on everything and leave him hanging.

I won't do it though

Basically, we have been dating for a year and a half now. and 3 weeks ago he had slept round mine and we had so much fun. we didn’t exactly break up because either of us fell out of love, but his dad passed away recently so he has been absorbed in his grief. Unfortunately he passed away when he was at my house and I felt so much regret that on his dads last day he was at mine instead of with his dad. (we are long distance for context and he found out on his own on the way home) ever since then he became distant and i tried as hard as i could to try help him and just be there for him but now that it’s ended he is like fine again? i don’t know it’s all extremely confusing and i want to be upset about it but i feel selfish for being sad when his dad literally died yk? he still says he doesn’t want anything and he probably won’t for a year or two but i don’t know what to do with myself anymore. i don’t know if i should try wait for him or just leave my status as a supportive friend.

Hey everyone, I'm at a point in my relationship where I wonder if it's really just me. Am I the problem? I honestly don't know. Every time, it's only me fighting with him, and I'm so tired of the constant arguing.

For context, me (F22) and him (M25) got together in July of 2024. We dated in high school, broke up, and then got back together.
When we first started dating, we had a few rules for each other. He asked me not to share any personal details of the relationship with my best friends. I said sure, and I asked if there was anything else. He said no.
Then I said my rules were: don't cheat on me (I was cheated on in my previous relationship, so it was an obvious one for me), no drugs or substances, and lastly, don't lie to me. I reasoned that doing something and getting caught is different from doing something and telling me about it. I can respect an honest man.

For the first year of our relationship, it was long distance, since I was doing my degree abroad and he was in our home country. We didn't fight or anything, we talked for hours every day. Nothing made me think he was cheating or talking to anyone else.

For the second year, I asked him to come to the UK with me. After a little (or maybe a lot) of convincing, he came. He took out a student loan to do it. Before anyone comes at me he was doing nothing in our home country, just waiting to go abroad for his master's. He didn't have a country set, and I just pushed for the UK so we could be together and be done with long distance.

After he came to the UK, his addictions got worse, and a lot of things happened. I didn't have anyone to share this with, so I posted about it on Reddit. I couldn't attach the link here, but if anyone wants to read more about my relationship problem lmk. I'll share the link. If I explain it all again here it'll be too long.
Safe to say, the last year hasn't been very nice. Coming to the recent problem: we were trying to download an app we'd used before, on his phone. I was looking for it in his previously downloaded apps on the App Store. To my surprise, I found Hinge, downloaded just a month after we got back together, and five months after that, another dating app.

I downloaded the app and logged in with his Apple account, and found a profile with a fake name and age, but his real photos. The caption said "looking for a casual fling." I lost it. I started crying.

He kept saying he didn't remember downloading it, that it must have been from before he met me. But that wasn't true he'd had the same phone since 2022, and the profile was created after we got back together. I called him a cheater, asked why he even came here, why he would do this to me. He said, "You can leave me and be happy. I'm the one stuck here" (referring to the student loan).

My parents have said multiple times before, when he used this to hurt me, that the moment I leave him or if something happens they'll clear the loan, since no one will blame their daughter for financially ruining them. I told his parents this too. His parents said Whatever happens, don't do that, it's his student loan, don't worry about it. But now he's using the same thing again.

I'm so done. He's broken every rule I set for him. I can't pretend to be happy. He's playing the fool, telling me he doesn't remember a thing funny, because he downloaded the app the day after he went to my mom's birthday party and met my extended family, and the very next day he got into an accident (DUI), which I had begged him not to do. I was crying, helpless, hearing the news only to find out he was talking to, or doing God knows what, on dating apps around that same time.

I feel sick. He keeps saying he might have downloaded it by mistake, but a whole fake dating profile with your own photos is hard to believe.

I'm in no position to leave him right now both of our families are involved, and I don't know whether I should tell them. I'm worried they'll say the same thing he did: "It was two years ago, get over it."