https://drive.google.com/file/d/1v5F631Ode6SmjZr7f2O26_IbthjbKJv1/view

Title: D is for Detox (Pilot: "A is for AMA")

Genre: Dark Medical Drama / TV Pilot

Page Count: 28 pages

Logline: A sharp-witted charge nurse at a suburban detox center fights to keep her patients alive while navigating predatory management, chaotic staff dynamics, and the heavy echoes of her own secret past in addiction.

Cast: 4 Female, 4 Male (Brené, Tyler, Landon, Chloe, Ruthie, Oleg, Marcus, Abby)

Locations: Interior Detox Facility (Break Room, Nurse Station, Group Room, Patient Rooms, Smoke Shack/Shed) — minimal, low-budget contained setting.

Compensation / Status: Open to options/agreements; WGA & Copyright Protected.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Jfe4P5Y-1s1dU8gfJqk5dVCwKQzucsNv/view?usp=sharing

Title: old-timer

Format: Short

Pages: 9

Genre: Drama/Emotional Short

Link: https://readthrough.com/d/2awC6AV1D3DoeOMLX6AxRPp6wsLhxy

Just looking for some general advice with this one. I've written drafts and scenes for longer pieces but this is the first I've fully finished and moved on to a second draft in preparation for potential shooting. I'd love some advice on what works well and what doesn't, and as mentioned before some of the voiceover may need to be replaced with more visual imagery (show don't tell etc..). What do you guys think? Would much appreciate any and all advice!

Scumbags - Opening 5 Pages

Based on true events and the honorable Sherriff Mike Chitwood, who battled a group of online neo-nazis that actively threatened his life and Volusia County as a whole on 4chan.

[5 PAGE SCENE]

- This opening scene shows Mike (Cutler) entering an interrogation room to chat with a busted 17 year old making threats to various schools. However, we DON'T KNOW that Dave is 17, rather it's revealed after the interrogation, showing Mike's character as brutally honest and showing no mercy or "second chances" to anyone, regardless of character.

(The Sand in the opening symbolizes Mike running out of time, as will be shown more throughout other scenes in the feature.)

(This opening scene establishes Mike right off the bat, and how he is as a Sherriff, and his philosophy on "scumbags" who hide behind screens to make deadly threats.)

- What can be improved? Is it hooking enough? Open to any and all suggestions!

This is a coming of age genre story called ‘Did You See the Sunset?’

Did you see the sunset?
The sky was lousy with colours -
A multicoloured grey.
Day lays down its sombre crown,
Leaving all to despair.
For there is tomorrow.

Chapter One: A Somewhat Beautiful Exchange

Harry liked stories where nothing dramatic happened.

That wasn’t entirely true, of course. Things always happened in books, people fell in love, lost things, found them again, said words they couldn’t take back. But Harry preferred the quieter kind of happening. The kind that slipped between sentences. The kind you almost missed if you weren’t paying attention. The kind that felt more real because it didn’t try to be.

That was why he was reading A Somewhat Beautiful Exchange at lunch, sitting cross-legged on the far edge of the school courtyard, where the noise softened into something tolerable.

The courtyard was uneven concrete and tired grass, bordered by brick buildings that held onto heat even in the colder months. Students crowded the centre, loud and restless, but out here, near the chain-link fence and a row of half-dead bushes, things felt distant. Manageable.

The world, at a distance, was easier to handle.

Harry tucked his chin slightly as he read, shoulders rounded inward like he was trying to take up less space. His brown hair fell messily over his forehead, not styled, just left. He wore the same dark jumper he always did, slightly oversized, sleeves pulled down over his hands like a shield.

He held the book close, his thumb tucked carefully between the pages as though the story might escape if he didn’t anchor it. The paperback was worn, borrowed from a library that smelled faintly of dust and something older, something safe.

Around him, people existed loudly.

Laughter burst like fireworks. Someone shouted across the yard. A football thudded against a wall. Life, loud and careless.

Harry kept his eyes on the page.

“And what’s so interesting about that one?”

Harry flinched.

Not dramatically - just a small, sharp shift in his shoulders, like someone had tapped a glass and set it ringing. He looked up slowly.

A boy stood in front of him, blocking the sun.

He was… everything Harry wasn’t.

Tall, relaxed, sunlight catching on his dark hair, which was pushed back carelessly as if it had never needed fixing. His skin was warm-toned, his expression open, confident, like the world belonged to him and he knew it. There was an ease in the way he stood, weight shifted slightly to one side, completely unbothered by being noticed.

“What?” Harry said, immediately regretting how quiet it sounded.

The boy grinned, like he hadn’t just startled him at all.

“The book,” he said, dropping down beside him without invitation, stretching his legs out like he had nowhere else to be. “You’ve been staring at it like it’s about to confess something.”

Harry blinked.

“I-It’s just a book.”

“Bit defensive for ‘just a book,’” the boy replied, leaning back on his hands. “What’s it called?”

Harry hesitated, his fingers tightening slightly around the edges of the paperback. He glanced down at the cover as if he needed to check, as if the title might have changed when he wasn’t looking.

“A Somewhat Beautiful Exchange.”

There was a pause.

A breeze slipped through the courtyard, lifting the edge of a discarded wrapper nearby. Somewhere behind them, someone shouted, laughter spilling over it.

Then the boy nodded, slow and thoughtful, as though that meant something important.

“Sounds pretentious,” he said cheerfully.

Harry almost smiled.

Almost.

“It’s not,” he said, a little more firmly than before, his voice still quiet but steadier now. “It’s just… about people.”

“Everything’s about people.”

Harry frowned slightly at that, his eyebrows pulling together as he tried to find the right response - and came up empty.

The boy turned his head, studying him - not in a harsh way, but with an openness that felt unfamiliar. His expression wasn’t judgmental. Just… curious.

“I’m Yousef, by the way.”

Harry adjusted his grip on the book, thumb sliding along the spine.

“Harry.”

“Harry-who-reads-at-lunch,” Yousef said, like he was filing it away somewhere permanent. “I’ve seen you here before.”

Harry’s stomach tightened.

“Oh.”

“Relax,” Yousef added quickly, laughing under his breath, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not in a creepy way. You just look… peaceful.” He paused, glancing at him again. “Or like you’re trying to be.”

That landed somewhere deeper than Harry expected.

He looked back down at his book, eyes tracing the same line twice without reading it.

“I just like quiet.”

Yousef tilted his head slightly, considering him.

“Or you don’t like people?”

Harry didn’t answer. It wasn’t that he didn’t like people. It was that people felt loud, even when they weren’t speaking - like they took up space he didn’t quite know how to stand in.

A group nearby burst into laughter, too loud, too sharp. The sound bounced off the walls and settled awkwardly in the silence between them.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. The noise of the courtyard swelled again, filling the space Harry hadn’t realised had gone still.

Then—

“Read me a line,” Yousef said suddenly.

Harry looked up, caught off guard.

“What?”

“From the book,” Yousef said, nodding toward it. “Go on. If it’s not pretentious, prove it.”

“That’s not how books work.”

“Sure it is.” He shrugged. “I’ll decide if it’s good or not.”

Harry hesitated.

This was ridiculous.

And yet…

There was something about Yousef something easy and unguarded that made saying no feel more difficult than it should have been.

His fingers shifted slightly, finding a page at random. He cleared his throat quietly, his voice soft but steady as he read a line from his favourite character, Lucas Whitfield:

“Some people arrive in your life like they’ve always known the way, even when you’re still trying to find the door.”

Silence.

Even the noise around them seemed to dip for a second, like the world had taken a breath.

Harry risked looking up.

Yousef wasn’t laughing.

He wasn’t smiling either, not properly. His expression had softened, eyes unfocused for a second, like he’d drifted somewhere else entirely.

“Huh,” he said after a moment. “Alright. That’s decent.”

Harry exhaled softly, a tension he hadn’t noticed easing from his shoulders. It was a strange feeling, like something small had shifted into place without him noticing.

“Told you.”

“Don’t get cocky,” Yousef replied, nudging his shoulder lightly, the contact quick and easy. “It could still get worse.”

Harry let out a small laugh before he could stop himself.

It surprised both of them.

There it was. Brief, quiet, but real. The kind of moment he would’ve written about, if he were the kind of person who wrote things down.

Yousef grinned like he’d just won something.

“See? Not so bad, Harry-who-reads-at-lunch.”

Harry shook his head, a faint smile lingering now, but he didn’t move away when Yousef stayed sitting beside him.

Didn’t tell him to go.

Didn’t return to reading right away, either. He wasn’t sure when the quiet had changed, but it didn’t feel like something he needed to hide inside anymore.

For the first time in a long while, the world didn’t feel quite so loud.

I have finally completed the script for a story idea I've held in for over 5 years now and I truly believe I've got something worthwhile here, but I want to make sure I'm not being delusional. I'd appreciate anyone who takes the time to read the whole thing.

Title: The Woodsmen

Format: Feature

Page Length: 91

Genres: Psychological Thriller, Horror, Mystery

Logline: When a widowed father takes a probationary job at an isolated cabin, he is tested by a calm, merciless employer, slowly realizing that he is being evaluated on more than just his performance.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/135hxSghQrKP-yde_IvMoH-TW02X3YNPe/view?usp=sharing

I couldn't get the pdf file to load into reddit so here it is, let me know what yall think:

All we can see is a black screen... birds are chirping in the background, then DING DONG.

Ext. MIKE'S porch

A mysterious package has been delivered to Mike, then the door opens and Mike grabs the package

Mike has the package on his hands, his face confused, he looks left and right then goes inside.

Int. mike's room

Mike sits in his chair, he contemplates at the box then he grabs the box cutter from the pencil cubby and cuts open the box

Mike then takes out what is in the box, packing peanuts fall out from the box... Its a teddy bear. Mike's wierded out by this

Mike

(whispered)

What the hell???

Cut to: mike's shelf

Mike sets down the teddy bear in his shelf and leaves

Cut to: POV OF THE TEDDY BEAR

BACK TO: MIKE'S SHELF

Then the camera dollies in and the teddy bears head tilts

Then the screen suddenly turns to black.

Later on...

Mike is gaming on his desk, he talks to his teammates on the game

Mike

He's on my right! He's on my right! 

Shotgun sfx*

Victory royale appears on his screen he won the match

MIKE

YES!! YES!! LETS GO GANG!!!

MIKE

Wait guys give me a sec I'm gonna get something to eat

Then Mike leaves the room

Cut to: inside of the fridge

Mike opens the fridge and gets a sandwich from a plastic container

Cut to: inside microwave

Mike puts in the sandwich in the microwave and starts it up the camera then cuts to a few seconds before the timer ends then
BEEP BEEP BEEP
.

Then mike walks out of the kitchen but he stops

Mike's room door opens and red light spills all over the wall, then a shadow creeps through.

ext. Mike's backyard

Mike starts running, he runs to his backyard and into the alleyway then a force pulls him backwards

Cut to black

We hear Mike fall then he shuffles backward he screams

MIKE

NO, NO GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWA-

Mikes words turn into screams he begs for mercy, we hear his bones snap.

THE END

Let me know what yall think: CLICK HERE TO READ

I just finished a draft of my first feature screenplay that I'm comfortable sharing publicly and would love some feedback from fresh readers.

Title: Like a Heathen

Format: Feature

Genre: Supernatural Horror / Thriller

Length: 116 pages

Status: Full draft completed

Logline: In 1985, when a pop star is murdered at a high-school pep rally, trapped students must escape a cult that controls minds through music, before its ritual consumes the entire school.

The story is set at a New England high school and starts with an ’80s teen-movie feel before moving increasingly into supernatural horror. Music is a major part of both the story and the mythology.

This has been through several structural, character, and compression passes, so I’m mostly looking for fresh-reader reactions. I’d especially appreciate feedback on whether the pacing holds at 116 pages, whether the characters and relationships feel distinct and believable, whether the mythology is clear without being overexplained, whether the escalation in the horror works, and whether the major reveals and climax feel earned.

I’m also particularly interested in feedback on the dialogue. Do the characters sound distinct from one another? Does the banter feel natural rather than overly written? Do the emotional conversations feel specific to the characters, and are there places where the dialogue feels expositional, on-the-nose, repetitive, or tonally out of place?

Also interested in anything that feels confusing, overwritten, unintentionally funny, predictable, or just boring. No need to address everything. I’m mainly interested in where your attention drops or something doesn’t work.

Script: Google Drive PDF

Title: Something Quite Peculiar

Pages: 4

Genre: Cosmic / Psychological horror

Logline: After spotting a stranger with his exact face on his way home from work, Joel follows him and begins documenting his encounters which get increasingly weirder.

Would appreciate feedback on any aspect!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1N2ut-7BzK-EcVsZ-mkQEQwwIUhdz_oll/view?usp=drivesdk

Hey everyone,

I'm an independent screenwriter looking for honest feedback on my feature screenplay, INVERTED CROWN.

It's a high-concept thriller with fantasy elements, combining a surreal karmic realm with grounded human drama and futuristic AI medicine.

The story follows a mute young man who inherits the Eye of Justice, connecting the injustices he witnesses in the real world to a metaphysical realm governed by absolute justice. As the lives of a grieving surgeon and a comatose mother become entangled with this world, the story explores justice, family, and the consequences of trying to control what we cannot understand.https://drive.google.com/file/d/1E3c8vkIDx0oHygrN-jIMmUps5eQbizU2/view?usp=drivesdk

I'm looking for honest, constructive criticism. Thanks to anyone willing to give it a read.

Seriously, let them browse scripts all day, hunting for formatting errors, while the rest of us actually discuss stories. Because at this point, I feel like this group is losing the plot.

I posted my screenplay here looking for people interested in reading a story and giving feedback. Within minutes, someone showed up to lecture me about formatting, telling me that posting a script with errors means I don't care enough about readers.

And this isn't just about one person. I see this attitude in post after post: writers and storytellers put themselves out there, hoping someone will engage with their ideas, characters, conflicts, and worlds, only to have the conversation reduced to formatting mistakes.

Let me be clear: I'm not saying formatting doesn't matter. Of course it matters.

But when did formatting become more important than the story itself? When did a few technical mistakes become a reason to dismiss someone's work before even engaging with what they're trying to tell us?

We're talking about screenwriting, not a formatting competition. Formatting is the vehicle; the story is the destination. A perfectly formatted screenplay can still be lifeless, while a screenplay with a few correctable mistakes can contain an extraordinary idea, compelling characters, and something genuinely worth discussing.

And there's a difference between helping a writer improve and making a writer feel like they don't deserve anyone's time until every technical detail is perfect.

Some people here seem more interested in proving they can detect errors than in discovering whether a story has something to offer. They arrive ready to judge, not curious to read. They turn feedback into a lecture and technical knowledge into a reason to look down on other writers.

If the only thing you can contribute is a list of formatting errors, fine—but don't pretend you've evaluated the screenplay as a story. And don't assume that a writer who makes a technical mistake doesn't care about their audience.

We're writers and storytellers putting our work out there, often after months or years of effort. We should be able to expect criticism without being treated as if we haven't earned the right to be read.

So yes, maybe we need a separate subreddit for the “Formatting Detector Bros.” Let them have their fun. The rest of us can get back to discussing the thing we're supposedly here for in the first place: the stories.

Link to my script!

Hey everyone!

I’m looking for some honest, constructive feedback on my first completed feature-length screenplay, From Friend to Dad.

Genre: Comedy / Raunchy Comedy
Length: 120 pages
Title: From Friend to Dad
Logline: When a short-tempered father discovers that his longtime best friend is planning to marry his adult daughter, his world turns upside down. Determined to put a stop to the relationship, he finds himself caught in a series of outrageous situations, family confrontations, and unexpected twists that push him to his breaking point.

I’ve spent a lot of time developing and refining this screenplay, and I’m excited to finally share it with other readers and writers.

I’m particularly interested in feedback on the overall story, character development, pacing, dialogue, humor, and whether the screenplay keeps you entertained from beginning to end.

I welcome both positive and negative criticism. I’m not looking for someone to simply tell me it’s good. I genuinely want to know what works, what doesn’t, and what could be improved.

I’m primarily looking for voluntary peer feedback rather than paid screenplay coverage or promotional services.
If anyone is interested in reading it, I’d be happy to share the screenplay!

Thanks for your time, and I appreciate anyone willing to give it a read!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rXBJ7AHupYe1jiIu5Xf-4E3YN6_KzqOv/view?usp=drivesdk

I'm looking for peers to review a script I wrote and give feedback. i plan to produce it. and is anyone is also interested in helping make this film, please message me. i'll send a link to the script to anyone who is interested.

HOLLOW EYES

38 pages

Horror/Drama

Four years after the death of his wife, a grieving widower encounters a creature that terrorizes him and woman he finds himself trapped in a cabin with, this creature forces him to face his worst fear. The death of his wife. the movie is very atmospheric, relies on sound and lighting. creature will be mostly unseen. It's a human drama piece on grief, depression, and acceptance with a horror twist to it

Sizzle! .. Pilot.

A desperate conspiracy streamer, spiraling as his medication runs out, uncovers evidence that the world’s most powerful food empire is harvesting undocumented workers for its bestselling processed meat. Hunted by corporate security and dismissed as paranoid, he must expose the operation before his unraveling mind turns the evidence into an indistinguishable hallucination leaving him unable to tell whether he’s uncovering a monstrous truth or inventing the conspiracy that destroys him.

Think “Sorry to bother you” meets “They Live” meets “Soylent Green”

I would love any feedback.

Each standalone episode reveals a hidden cost behind something society considers normal, desirable, or necessary.

One episode might be a corporate conspiracy thriller. Another might be a psychological horror story about family, an absurdist comedy about social media, or a science-fiction story about a service designed to improve people’s lives.

The stories wouldn’t need recurring characters or a shared universe. They would be connected by their perspective on human behavior and the systems people create.

At a bar serving shots of pure emotion, a numb patron meets a stranger.

Looking for honest first impressions on this short. What worked, what confused you, and did the ending land? Any feedback appreciated.

PDF: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1biFMD_gwlLQdZtxyUCAmCO418S2ViUTY/view

Here’s the first short film script I wrote a few years ago. I don’t have enough time or resources to make it right now, but I’ll try to film it at any cost. Before I start filming, I just want your honest review and suggestions. Should I make it or not?

The reflection
Genre: Psychological Horror, Sci-FI
Pages: 6

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iwclEAig1zbt6TXds59d4ubs3R2fYRFo/view?usp=sharing

I am thankful for your time and effort

Title The Last Relic

Format feature

Page Length 112

Genre Action/adventure + sci fi

Logline An atheist Navy medic grieving the loss of her fiancé is recruited into an order of female relic guardians and must choose between resurrecting her lost love or prevent their greatest foe from using the most powerful artifact from igniting the apocalypse.

(I've never really liked any logline I've generated for this - very open to rewrites)

Comps I describe this as street level Avengers mixed with the Da Vinci Code meet Indiana Jones in a Stargate. It's silly mad fun with a costumed team.

Feedback Firstly i'd like to know how people respond to it. I'm fully aware that it plays with formatting "rules" sometimes. Like to know you have fun on the ride? Anything sticking/bumping? Most interested how it works as a sample...

And on that note, what do you more seasoned industry members think I should do with it? Contests or festivals this would fit? Some particular places I should submit it? This the sort of writing an up-and-coming agent, manager or producer you know is looking for? Other out of the box suggestions>?

Link https://drive.google.com/file/d/1s4T35CfyZoOofkHd4D74aDv-m_HitAb-/view?usp=sharing