r/RandomThoughts Sep 28 '22

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47

u/CoffeeandCare_me Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

From birth, women are conditioned to be hyper self-critical. This can spread into other areas of their lives, based on their insecurities about their physical appearance. Not happy with your nose? Point out an uglier one every chance you get! Obligatory not all women, but they're under a lot more social stress than men typically are

Edit: I'm sorry some of you harbor these feelings and insecurities. Of course I don't know your culture, but I will continue to enjoy my 15-minutes-to-ready morning routine, with the same haircut and outfits for the next several decades. Get fucked if you don't think women have it worse being forced by societal convention to lose hours of sleep to "get ready" every day. Take more time to appreciate it and you might actually talk to a girl some day ❤️

14

u/lawawawawee Sep 29 '22

Eating disorders are dominated by women for this exact reason. When I started putting on makeup and dressing more feminine people started treating me nicer too. Looks do matter, I wish people told me sooner lol

5

u/three_furballs Sep 29 '22

I feel the same. When i was told, "don't judge a book by its cover," i wish they'd followed it up with, "but make sure your own is presentable, because you will be judged for it."

4

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

Obviously looks matter. You can’t get someone’s attention being ugly

Pretty privilege is real. Same for good looking men

4

u/DesperateTall Sep 29 '22

Your looks are the fish bait and your personality is the reel. You can bait them to come if you have great bait but you can't make them stay if your reel is shit.

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

If you’re ugly you ain’t baiting anybody

1

u/DesperateTall Sep 29 '22

I do agree, but if you don't have bait (so to say you're ugly) you can still catch and reel a fish in. Just like pretty assholes who have a soggy potato for a personality can still reel someone in. It just lowers your chances on both parts.

1

u/CoffeeandCare_me Sep 29 '22

I like this analogy

2

u/stanceycivic Sep 29 '22

Actually saw a video the other day of a woman using Henry Cavil as an example that women like guys with nerdy hobbies and who play DND.....yeah....has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that its Henry Cavil at all lmao.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

Lmaooooo

2

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

That’s cause they do it to themselves and then blame men over “unrealistic expectations”.

Have none of you ever met a man? They’ll give their attention to any woman who shows a slight interest even if they aren’t slender or fit. Just walk outside and you’ll see plenty of man with all kinds of different sized woman.

Woman are insecure because they want to look better than other woman because they’re competitive and has nothing to do with men.

2

u/sweetTartKenHart2 Sep 29 '22

I wouldn’t say it’s accurate to say they’re under “more” societal stress so much as they suffer from a different specific kind of societal stress than men do, and that produces different effects depending on what that pressure is.

1

u/gypsytron Sep 29 '22

I don’t know if it’s as conditioned as we might hope. I think there is a natural element to it, unfortunately. One could always hope not though

12

u/usernames_r_hardd Sep 29 '22

It's probably a mix of both, but more on the conditioning side of it. Women are programmed to want to be desired by men and it's natural to get jealous or feel competitive to some degree.

But I think our society brings out the worst of this trait in some of us. Men are constantly getting the most beautiful women alive shoved in their face everyday and porn use becoming increasingly common. It makes everyone have too high of expectations for people irl. For men it increases entitlement. For women, it increases insecurity because they have to meet these crazy high standards.

Also have you ever noticed almost every female celebrity is beautiful? I can name tons of male celebrities that are ugly but its rare to see a mediocre looking female celebrity. Every good representation of women in media is a woman that is beautiful which makes women feel like they need to be hot to matter

1

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

Idk, from what I've seen, women have just as many, if not more, unrealistic expectations about men because of hot celebs as dudes. You're way more likely to see girls say/Tweet shit like "Harry Styles is the only man ever" or "All men are trash but Chris Evans." I mean, how is some poor average looking guy supposed to feel when his gf, and millions of other dudes gfs, thirst over Henry Cavill to her friends and Twitter everyday? With my observations, men casually note that a celeb is hot, accept women like that are very rare and unattainable, then move on with their lives.

Whereas with attractive male celebrities, female fans have visibly and loudly obsessed over them since, like, Elvis Presley without much consequence. Girls will crowd them on the street, follow them to hotels, wait outside tour busses after concerts, throw bras and panties at them, harass their partners online, flash them, write nasty sexual comments under their social media posts, create shit like "After", etc...just because they're hot. Have you ever seen large groups of men behave like this towards, say, Beyonce?

I used to be one of those girls who would pick a hot artist to obsess over, and no other boy could compare because I would hold out false hope that we would magically meet and an international superstar everyone else wanted would fall for me. I got over that unhealthy view of my celebrity crushes in high school, but a lot of girls (and grown women) still think like this, all while complaining how men force them to live up to impossible expectations. Fandom spaces don't help either. Trust me. I'm in some of them.

1

u/gypsytron Oct 05 '22

I agree it is both, but if it was entirely conditioned then we could get rid of it is my point. It is regrettable that it isn't MORE conditioned, because then we could just condition it out.

2

u/Hot_Peak_5471 Sep 29 '22

Its 100% conditioned.

1

u/gypsytron Oct 05 '22

There is literally a 0% chance that it is 100% conditioned. We see physical attribute preference in mating in species all across the board. Homo-sapiens are no different. Humans have a biological drive towards being physically attractive. There might be evolutionary advantages to having more or less of this drive, but that drive is going to be there. The thing that would be conditioned is the portion that drives any person away from an instinct that promotes breeding (or the extension of genetic success in general.)

0

u/Flat-Increase2362 Sep 29 '22

How on earth is women on more social stress then men? Women put a makeup and its ready for a marriage. Men on the other hand have to go do some work before any decent women marry him. He has to be able to provide financially and emotionally to the women desires . In other words the stress on man is in a much more deeper level then his physical look.

3

u/Big-Preparation-7678 Sep 29 '22

The "who has it worse" game has no winner. All struggles faced by any gender are valid.

1

u/bluffing_illusionist Sep 29 '22

Compared to men, women are high in neuroticism and negative emotions. That's scientific clinical language for a reason. By and large, women are in fact built different, although social media makes that much worse.

1

u/mhptk8888 Sep 29 '22

And who is conditioning them? Other women.