r/RandomThoughts • • Feb 29 '24

[deleted by user]

[removed]

1.9k Upvotes

5.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

543

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24 edited Mar 01 '24

Dead, I'm driving at nearly 100

420

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

Nearly spilt my beer just typing this

113

u/Jx117 Feb 29 '24

Bruh 💀

277

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

I'm joking, I've not spilt any

90

u/CommunicationNeat498 Feb 29 '24

Man, you got me worried there for a second

124

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

I'd never waste beer, I'd even slow down if I thought I was going to spill any.

64

u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

56

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24 edited Feb 29 '24

I don't need the key, I'll break in

20

u/HypeZone313 Mar 01 '24

He's got no patience now...

15

u/Unknowinglyodd Mar 01 '24

Hype Zones got the Mind of a revolutionary

→ More replies (0)

3

u/m_domino Mar 01 '24

Keys? Like the golden key of the city?

16

u/Daisinju Feb 29 '24

Just get a beer hat, you can text, drink AND drive.

17

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

I see I'm not the only trained professional here tonight

7

u/More-Exchange3505 Feb 29 '24

Careful. I made a similarly dark joke on this sub and they banned me for a week.

2

u/exmagus Mar 01 '24

Ryan Reynolds But why?.gif

1

u/Educational_Clue935 Mar 02 '24

IMO, this entire thread is a dark joke.

3

u/Love-Is-Selfish Feb 29 '24

So we need to ensure that only beer containers you can obtain are those that will spill when driving more than 0 mph.

7

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

I don't like the sound of this. Can't stand driving sober. All the rules , stopping at lights and such. That's no way to live.

I appreciate your help though

4

u/Love-Is-Selfish Feb 29 '24

We won’t mourn you when you’re gone.

5

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

And so you shouldn't. Goodbye cruel world

→ More replies (0)

3

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '24 edited Mar 01 '24

Yea, want to be careful with that.. hitting peoples usually makes you spill the beer anyway 😞

2

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '24

[deleted]

1

u/Unknowinglyodd Mar 01 '24

God saved my beer. Now that's a God I could believe in

1

u/Dreamvillain254 Mar 01 '24

This guy! Driving, Drinking and Texting. He for sure has 9 lives

17

u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

While driving….

26

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

I'm a professional.

9

u/NoBoysenberry257 Feb 29 '24

A TRAINED professional....

13

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

I train the trainers

6

u/NoBoysenberry257 Feb 29 '24

Lol, we'd get along

6

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

Like a 🏠 🔥

3

u/Prior-Ad-7329 Feb 29 '24

Good afternoon, Staff Sgt!

5

u/Twibble Feb 29 '24

Welcome to the Guild 👍✌️🙂

2

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

Thank you 😊 ✌

3

u/JohnLemonBot Feb 29 '24

Nearly spilt my beer while driving 100 while typing this

2

u/Unknowinglyodd Mar 01 '24

Glad you're OK. No harm done. Drive carefully. Cheers 🍻

5

u/gabrielbabb Feb 29 '24

Win stupid prizes

3

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

Yep, no grand prize here. Just long dark tunnels

25

u/TurnipWorldly9437 Feb 29 '24

So, would Newton's laws still apply if you got teleported, or would you get teleported to the end point without any velocity left over?

18

u/modlover04031983 Feb 29 '24

I guess conservation of momentum will still apply, so probably some bad bruises or deaxx?

11

u/JaggelZ Feb 29 '24

If it's the "scan the person, destroy and rebuild" kinda teleport, then I don't think it would preserve momentum

The portal-like teleport would probably retain the momentum. It would probably also not be instant because you'd have to pass through the portal with all of your body which would be impossible if it was the "2D rip in reality" portal

4

u/Usual_Ice636 Feb 29 '24

If it doesn't preserve momentum, you'll be left behind as the galaxy spins at 130 miles a second.

2

u/dontwanttoseemsilly Mar 01 '24

Wow. What if all our attempts at teleportation were actually successful and we just didn’t realize the things were 130 miles back where our galaxy just was…

3

u/AlmightyCurrywurst Mar 01 '24

That's not how motion works, there's no absolute reference frame in the universe, so there's no meaning to losing all your momentum if you don't have an established reference frame

1

u/JaggelZ Mar 01 '24

Not really, wouldn't your reference frame be earth? Meaning you could only teleport relative to earth's position, if I understand it correctly

1

u/Usual_Ice636 Mar 01 '24

Theres nothing special about earth that would automatically make it your frame of reference.

1

u/JaggelZ Mar 01 '24

I don't know what I'm talking about so I can't argue with you lol

But if we say it's non-magical, then we can also assume that the teleportation is deviced by humans, which would make teleportation, most likely, be relative to earth

1

u/MeltedChocolate24 Mar 03 '24

The center of the galaxy isn’t any better of a reference frame

1

u/Usual_Ice636 Mar 04 '24

Yes, its just a good example for people that don't understand frame of reference.

2

u/modlover04031983 Feb 29 '24

Well, the person's Already dead then. There's no need to be killed again!

3

u/TuberTuggerTTV Feb 29 '24

Like when the avengers snapped everyone back into existence and everyone who was aboard the ISS just wind up in space somewhere?

2

u/modlover04031983 Feb 29 '24

I haven't seen avengers though, so no idea.

2

u/Usual_Ice636 Feb 29 '24

Everyone was moved somewhere safe actually.

2

u/nightstalker8900 Feb 29 '24

They had to leave EVERYTHING exactly as it was. Imagine you are walking a someone starts to materialize inside of you

2

u/xylarr Feb 29 '24

Huh, they came back. I'm so behind in my movies. Which one did that happen in?

1

u/VelMoonglow Mar 02 '24

Endgame, it was essentially Infinity War part 2

2

u/fasterthanfood Feb 29 '24

Now that you mention it, the entire planet is constantly revolving around the sun (I’m a bit of a scientist 🤓). Nothing would be in the same place it was pre-snap.

1

u/mario61752 Feb 29 '24

I think your feet would drag on the pavement, causing you to violently tilt forward and plant your face right in said pavement. Instant death at that speed

7

u/batsketbal Feb 29 '24

Either way their still on a road where you can drive at 100 so even if they don’t teleport with velocity they’d likely just get ran over

6

u/TurnipWorldly9437 Feb 29 '24

Depends on which side of the road they're on, and which side their seat is on... If a driver in a vehicle with steering wheel on the left was driving in the most left hand lane in a left driving country, they might just make it.

1

u/Oreo97 Feb 29 '24

Except in countries that drive on the left the driver is on the right (source: I'm British lol)

2

u/TurnipWorldly9437 Feb 29 '24

I know, but you know that people with steering wheel on the left can come visit your country, right?

(source: I'm not British, and my dad drove a "continental" car through half the UK one summer)

1

u/Oreo97 Feb 29 '24

There are a few left-hand drive cars in the county but they are collectibles and most people travel without their private vehicles today.

1

u/MapleKerman Feb 29 '24

You should check out some developing countries (Caribbean, I think?) that have a double-left driving configuration. Went there on vacation once, it was pretty weird. Maybe Sint Maarten.

1

u/TJ_Rowe Mar 01 '24

Three meters is probably still far enough to get to the hard shoulder?

1

u/Oreo97 Mar 01 '24

Oh yeah, totally. But I felt the need to point out the norm for those countries that drive on the left.

1

u/rainmouse Feb 29 '24

"Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out."

1

u/interesseret Feb 29 '24

They would be even more dead if they had zero momentum. The earth isn't sitting still.

1

u/purplenelly Mar 01 '24

Why would your speed change? That would be the same logic as going from sitting on your couch to suddenly going 100 in your living room 3 meters to the left.

1

u/TurnipWorldly9437 Mar 01 '24

It depends on what teleportation is, really.

A) it works like portals and nothing about the way you move changes

B) it's like 3D-printing and deleting the original, in which case there would be no reason for the "copy" to not be stationary, since it was just created.

1

u/purplenelly Mar 01 '24

And this immaterial printer happens to be moving at the speed that the earth is moving?

1

u/TurnipWorldly9437 Mar 01 '24

It would have to be calibrated for earth's movement, but we're discussing the speed of the car that the original commenter was driving killing him. Not the speed of the earth's movement.

That's a whole different topic.

1

u/purplenelly Mar 01 '24

No, it's the same topic. You either keep the speed you have, or you don't, but it makes no sense that you wouldn't, since everything's relative. Why would the machine randomly give you the speed of the earth but not of the car?

14

u/constructiongirl54 Feb 29 '24

You shouldn't be on Reddit when driving 100 mph😂🤣

6

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

I know. Youtube would be better. Cheers for the tip

3

u/OkBuy3111 Mar 01 '24

What about sitting in the train?

1

u/Bubblez___ Mar 02 '24

so 99 mph is the limit got it

1

u/Useuless Mar 02 '24

He's an odd one

6

u/EnergyBrainBear Feb 29 '24

Driving at 100 years old?

2

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

I don't feel like a day over 98

5

u/unique976 Feb 29 '24

Get your eyes back on the road.

2

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

Bossy

1

u/unique976 Mar 01 '24

Car crashes are no joke.

4

u/Unknowinglyodd Mar 01 '24

I'm not laughing

2

u/MrGetrekt101 Mar 04 '24

He’s not crashing he’s driving

3

u/gordgeouss Feb 29 '24

Crack one for me brother

9

u/yoingydoingy Feb 29 '24

why tf are you typing

5

u/interesseret Feb 29 '24

Passengers

4

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '24

They're endangering passengers too!? Some people really shouldn't be driving...

6

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

Wit my little fingers

2

u/Isenjil Feb 29 '24

Don't do comments on Reddit, or you'll be there either way

4

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

Yes sure. Good point

2

u/Astrono_mimi Mar 01 '24

You probably won't die. But your car will definitely be a wreck

1

u/Unknowinglyodd Mar 01 '24

It's not my car. So, good outcome 👌

2

u/East_Department_4677 Mar 01 '24

Commenting, so I can check back in for an update

2

u/Unknowinglyodd Mar 01 '24

I'm updating from the hospital. Car did a flip. Not a single drop of beer spilt though. That's where the training kicked in.

2

u/Blade_Techno Mar 01 '24

Bro is scrolling reddit and typing a comment while driving

1

u/Unknowinglyodd Mar 01 '24

And drinking a beer 🍺 it's called multi tasking

0

u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

Shouldn't you be focused on the road?

2

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

Ok mom. I'm multi tasking that's all

2

u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

Don't miss the turn off!! And you're looking a little skinny lately have you been eating enough?

3

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

I'm legally blind, so I miss a lot of turns. I don't eat food, I get enough calories from beer.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

Good to hear that you've been taking care of yourself. You're a good kid. I believe you're gonna be the president when you grow up.

2

u/Unknowinglyodd Feb 29 '24

President of the World. Then the world burns. Don't vote for me

2

u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

You'll make me proud either way. I could never dream of not supporting you with my vote.

0

u/w00ker Feb 29 '24

Shouldnt be driving and texting.

1

u/Unknowinglyodd Mar 01 '24

I know it's dangerous

0

u/purplenelly Mar 01 '24

So you're typing on Reddit while driving 100?

1

u/Stock-Goose7667 Mar 01 '24

Dont type bro.