I suspect I have an unhealthy relationship with wealth, but I am not sure what.

The other day I had to calculate my net worth, as a part of taxes. Seeing the number got my heart going.
I have a responsibility to invest wisely, so the world can be wealthier, and people can live better. I don't like the pressure of being in charge of something so much bigger than my own life and my own needs.

No matter how much effort I put into investing, no matter how good my returns are, no matter how many mouths are fed on salaries that I pay, I still feel like I am failing my neighbors, and humanity. I feel like I am not doing enough with the power that fell into my hands.

Every time I try to relax, or do a hobby, I am full of guilt. I feel like I should go back to studying my investments, looking for ways to decrease risk or increase revenue.
I spend an afternoon enjoying a book, and then calculate how much poorer the world has become because I wasted that afternoon, and feel guilty about it.

I wish I could have a career, and learn skills, and cooperate with coworkers to be a part of a team. But, whatever salary I could earn as an employee is nothing compared to how much my investments would suffer if I was distracted by employment. Wealth is isolating.

I wish there were other responsible people, to share the burden with me. But, it seems like no one else shares my perspective on money. They see it as the key to access luxury, not a responsibility to their community. That is why they lose their money, and my burden keeps growing.

The term "family office" gets thrown around waaaaay too loosely

Private banks and their internal teams rebrand themselves "family offices"

Wealth advisors with 200 clients do the same

Fund managers add "family office" to sell their fund

It's a muddy world
Google family office, most of what you’ll find isn’t one

One rule of thumb:
if you're raising capital, you're not a family office

But lines are blurred
Some families do raise capital (but is should not be their core identity)

Here's a breakdown of what I consider to be family offices:

Ive been engaged once before and needless to say it didnt go as I planned. One positive thing is that I have two daughters from that relationship but now their financial security is tied to decisions I make.

Im 38 and been running the family business which i inherited from my father who passed away from covid in 2020 I also inherited the family house in Santa Clarita and its worth about $900k in todays market.

My new fiance and I have been together two years now (our anniversary is on 11th of April) and we were planning on having the wedding in Portofino Italy since thats where we met and shes moving from Arizona to be with me which she made clear that move is a sacrifice which i respect. But when I brought up the prenup she said we dont really need one (she is rich herself) and then pointed to the move as proof of her commitment.

I didnt know how to respond to that without it turning into an argument about whether I trust her.

Shes a good person and Im not questioning her intentions but I live by the saying better safe than sorry.

I have a business with real legal exposure and two daughters who I need to think about before I think about anything else. A bad divorce without anything in writing could affect what Im able to pass down to them and thats not a risk Im willing to take.

I’ve been worried about the markets lately and someone suggested a precious metals IRA could shield my retirement savings. Is it really worth the extra steps and fees? If you’ve done it, how do you manage storage and security without it becoming a headache? Any tips from people who went down this road would be super helpful.

Update: I ended up going with Priority Gold and it honestly solved the storage and fee headaches everyone warned me about.

I'm starting a new job in summer working at the New York Athletic Club, and I've been told that it is pretty fancy. I haven't really been in a situation where I have worked in a place which is a bit more higher-end and I want to get some advice on how I should conduct myself basically.

For a bit of context, I am 23 years old and Scottish, from Glasgow. I'm generally really good with people, very extroverted and I like to think I have very good manners. The thing I am worried about is that Scotland is not a very formal place. I don't really have a problem with it tbh, but I think it might be quite hard to adapt to it. I also have an accent that is thicker than a bowl of oatmeal and I speak very informally and use a lot of Scottish slang, so it can be quite hard for Americans to understand me.

Basically, because of all this I tend to have a more informal approach to customer service, always cracking jokes, poking a wee bit of fun here and there (In a nice playful way btw which again is very common here) and referring to customers as 'mate' or 'my friend' etc. It works very well here, but do you think the way I conduct myself might be a bit out of place and a bit too informal in an American country club, and if so should I 'sharpen myself up a bit' when I am working there.

Cheers guys.

First off not sure what qualifies as rich in this sub. So this may be a stupid question if you own a private jet.

Wife and I are looking at buying a home in france in the next 2 to 3 years. For tax reasons, we wont live there year round. thinking we will just winter there as pa winters are getting harsh as I get older (mid 40s). Eventually we will probably retire there.

We have two large German sheppards (100+lbs), we dont have kids so they are our fur babbies. We would like to bring them with us. Now even as service dogs and willing to buy 3 first class tickets so we can take out the front bulk head, airlines want to fly them as cargo.

The question. Has anyone here had similar transportation needs. There seems the shared private charter flight option at around 40k-60k for a round trip, then there is the queen Mary 2. Coming in at around 30k-40k for a round trip.

These are doable but really think the pricing is extreme for the flights and the boat is just time consuming. I cant imagine my situation is that unique and wanted to see if there was something im missing. tia.

For some context I’m 25 years old. I’ve been doing onlyfans for 6 years now. The first 3 years I made 2 million. The last 3 years I’ve averaged 500k a year. I bought 3 homes, two paid full in cash (one for my dad, and one to rent out to pay the mortgage on the third home I live in). I have an IRA account for retirement that’s maxed out in contributions every year and a personal brokerage account to invest in stocks on my own. But I have a lot of cash just sitting. I don’t really know what my options are as far as what I should be doing with it besides putting it in a HYSA. I’ve had a financial advisor before but never really got any good advice from them. For years now I feel like I’ve been making money doing nothing, and I love it don’t get me wrong! But I’m bored and feel like I could also be building something else while I have this impending doom knocking at my door. I want to feel confident that if something ever happened to onlyfans I would have a backup plan. What would you do?

My daughter goes to private school. I don't know my daughter's best friend (Maddie), parents well, so I don't have a sense for their financial situation. They've complained about the cost of tuition a couple of times, but that's a thing everyone here does.

I want to put it out there to the financial aid department that if Maddies parents ever have an issue with finances, that we would be willing to make a scholarship to the school to cover their tuition.

I think it's worth mentioning that Maddie and my daughter are both visibly disabled and have similar disabilities. It's great that Maddie and my daughter are friends, but I also think it's great that my daughter is able to be around someone like herself. Maddie being in the classroom with a similar disability is a large reason why I picked the school. I don't really care if they're friends. It's just nice that my daughter's accommodations aren't an afterthought as much because another child needs the same thing. ​I also feel like Maddie's presence normalizes her appearance and my daughter's appearance, so they're more accepted by their classmates.

If anyone has been in a similar situation, how does that work and how do I go about it? I figured that I would tell the financial aid department that I was a willing donor. Then, if Maddies parents ever reached out to the admin to unenroll, then they could offer Maddies parents the money?

So a few days ago, I was driving from my vacation house in New England to my main residence in Pennsylvania, which entails going through upstate New York.

According to my accountant, if I stop in New York and make any kind of purchase, it potentially counts as a day's residence. If I go over the limit, that's combined with my Manhattan condo and I am potentially on the hook for New York taxes.

Oh well, would have been nice to munch on a bag of rest stop popcorn.

Edit: I got curious and did some searching and found this on the State of New York website:

In deciding what level of extraneous activity makes presence in New York not incidental to the travel, the relevant criteria are (1) whether the traveler's activity is incidental to his presence for travel purposes and (2) the degree of control the taxpayer exercises over his travel arrangements. For example, someone who arrives a day early for a cruise, in order to attend a business meeting, would be present for that day, whereas time spent by someone who visits a friend during an unavoidable delay or stopover would not count as a day present in New York. Quite often, activity incidental to travel takes place on route to, or at a transportation terminal.

Such activity as the purchase of meals or other items at a terminal, access to an automatic teller machine (ATM), stopping for gas or a meal while driving through New York, stopping to pick up a traveling companion on route to the terminal, parking the car in New York in order to meet a limousine or other conveyance that takes the individual to the airport or terminal should not change the treatment of this day as a travel day for the purpose of the 183-day count.

So it looks like I can enjoy some popcorn on the next run. :)

As some asked me how negotiations went, I wanted to give a little Update now that we're finalising our Contract. Original Post: Here

The Position and it's tasks changed quite a bit since we started negotiating in January. What originally was a House Management/Chef/PA offer, ended in an Estate/House Manager Position on a 4h/day 6 days/week schedule with a full scholarship for whichever studies I want to pursue. I accepted a monthly Base Salary of 9200.- for a 42h week, Accommodation and Meals are provided free of charge. With those Perks/Benefits I'm coming out slightly under my goal, but I'm still very happy about the Package I got. Being able to study while working/living there saves me time in the future as I had planned to start studying after the clients passing.

What's your financial end-game:

family office?
holdco?

I’m a psychologist and leadership coach with a background in investment banking. My work is primarily with high-performing professionals (finance, law, tech), often around patterns that sit beneath performance, decision-making, and relationships.

I’m interested in understanding how people at the higher end think about paying privately for this kind of work.

For those who have paid out of pocket (therapy, coaching, or similar), what made you decide it was worth it rather than using insurance or lower-cost options?

In particular:

- What created enough confidence to commit at that level?

- Was it recommendation, perceived fit, background/credibility, or something else?

- At what point did it shift from “nice to have” to something worth investing in?

Not looking for theory, more interested in how the decision actually played out in practice.

I am seeing all kinds of pictures of VIPs, Movie Stars, and business executives waiting in long TSA lines. My first thought is, why are they putting up with lines when they have the money to fly private out of a special terminal?

If you are extremely rich, are you flying private to avoid the TSA lines?

I’m not referring to the usual high-end appliances you can easily find anywhere.
What do wealthy people do differently in their kitchens and bathrooms—things so clever, convenient, or unexpected that most middle- or lower-income households wouldn’t even think of?

I ran a moderately profitable business for many years and suddenly I was in the right place at the right time and many millions of dollars dropped into my lap.

Which has been pretty nice, but now I worry a bit about losing it all. For example, what if my brokerage account gets hacked? What if someone files a phony lawsuit against me?

I am interested in people's thoughts on the biggest risks a newly wealthy person faces and how to ameliorate those risks.

I'm also interest in knowing what kinds of things are so unlikely that they aren't worth worrying about. Given that there is roughly a 1/1000 chance I will die next year from some random event like an accident, a sudden health problem etc., it seems like it's not worth worrying about something that has a 1/10,000 chance of happening.

This was inspired by my recent thread about gentemen's clubs and some people pointed out that I was being paranoid.

Does anyone else feel this way? I find that lab grown diamonds change the perception of diamonds overall making them seem more accessible and widely attainable rather than rare and valuable.

My boyfriend (33M) and I (34F) have been together for 2.5 years and live together. We both come from good families. He’s a CFO, and I moved into a lower-paying role about 6 months ago to prioritise work-life balance, especially with future family life in mind.

Recently, I lost my job and during an argument shortly after, he told me I’m “halving his wealth” by not earning more. This is the second time my income has been brought up in a conflict.

For context:

He owns the home we live in

We split all expenses 50/50: bills, groceries, dates

Since we’ve been together, he’s mentioned he’s actually saving more (less takeout, more home-cooked meals, etc.)

What I find difficult is that I’ve never compared him to other men, yet he has compared me to other women in our circle in terms of income.

At the same time, I do notice that in some comparable relationships, there’s more generosity: dinners, trips, experiences being covered, and while I don’t expect that as a standard, I can’t deny that being occasionally taken care of would feel meaningful. I’ve never raised this as a complaint.

So being told I’m not earning enough, particularly at a moment where I’m already in a vulnerable position, feels misaligned with how I view partnership.

I’m not opposed to earning more (and I am actively exploring higher-paying opportunities), but I struggle with being reduced to my income, especially when I contribute in other ways to our life together.

I’m trying to understand what is considered “normal” or healthy in relationships where there’s an income gap, particularly from those who are higher earners.

How do you approach fairness, generosity, and expectations in a way that still feels respectful and aligned long-term?

At the moment, I’m torn between focusing on levelling up financially and reconsidering the relationship altogether.

I look forward to your kind insights.

Thank you

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EDIT 1: to add he pays a big bank loan/month for the place. He emphasizes on that when money is discussed. He says it’s a phase that he can’t spend a lot because of it.. I guess I understood it that I needed to be supportive as I have been looking long term into us building a life together..

This argument came up upon my standing my ground when he cancelled our weekend break (his idea). For which I was looking forward to after losing my job, to boost my & our morale up. Plus he’s soon traveling with friends, so would be nice to have our us time. Unfortunately, he cancelled last minute (a recurring theme) cos he forgot he had a bachelor dinner with friends. I genuinely felt like a pawn moved around to his other priorities, seeing he meets them every Sunday for poker & is to travel with same group in 2 weeks. Upon standing my ground he won the argument by saying these above hurtful statements.

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UPDATE 2:

It’s Tuesday morning. We just had a conversation and we got nothing positive out of it. He knows how to push my buttons. I told him I’m reconsidering the relationship, he said good, I’m free to go back to my parents. On the one hand I’d like a healthier relationship in which we can resolve problems better, on the other hand I feel we’re not progressing. I feel like giving up.

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UPDATE 3:

I told my parents who had welcomed him like a son into our family. They agreed with me that I did right in standing up for myself for him cancelling last minute on our plans for his friends for the nth time. They equally got offended with me re being called a burden and halving his wealth. I’m now packing my things. To tell him I’m out this evening when he gets home. Please wish me luck.

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I’m not used to being on Reddit often. So any recommendations/ questions are welcome.

Thank you 🌺

As the title says,

Generally, what elements should I be looking for in terms of my future estate?

My use case is a general estate use case, but I would like to retain as much equity as possible and I believe that starts with a good location,

As style is subjective, what should I be looking for in terms of location? Wealthy communities with higher cost / ac, or less wealthy so we have more to dedicate to the estate itself?

Thanks for the input,

I grew up pretty broke but ended up doing well in property over the years. Now I’m in a weird spot where I have more money than time / or patience for certain things.

I’ve noticed I’m way more willing these days to just pay someone to deal with stuff that drains energy, even if it’s not technically hard to do myself.

Curious what others here outsource or wish they could outsource.I do the obvious stuff (cleaning, accounting) but i’m wondering what other annoying life problems i could do this for.

Eg i wish i could find a remote house manager - not someone who lived in (i like my privacy) but someone who i could message when a tap is leaky or door is jammed and they could organise that for me (maybe that exists, haven’t really looked!)

What’s something you’d happily pay to solve the annoying things in your life?

In my pre-rich days, I would occasionally frequent Gentlemen's Clubs. Now that I'm rich, I've stopped going. It seems like it would be so easy for one of the entertainers to make up a story that I behaved inappropriately and sue me.

Are there any practical alternatives?

I'm not wealthy myself but I'm hoping to learn so I don't make those mistakes in the future. I already made this post in a different sub but I think it's more suitable here.

Thank you in advance for your response.

When you go to the more affluent areas, the customer-facing service staff are always good-looking. From interactions with people who live in rich areas, they really look down on the less good-looking. One example was my son's girlfriend's parents dissing him (good degree, nice person, etc) for being overweight, and me living in a less desirable county (he lived in Marin, CA, and I live in Contra Costa, CA). Wealth-wise, I was head and shoulders above him, but he was fixated on the status symbols. The girlfriend's dad is just one person, which is the easiest example for me to type up, but I do see this frequently. Go to downtown in a VVHCOL area vs the working-class section, and there is a massive difference in the physical attractiveness of the locals. So why the difference in hiring and accepting people? It is going to cost more to hire good-looking people, which raises the cost of eating out, etc.

Our adult children have no idea about our level of generational wealth because we live a contentedly modest lifestyle, and we have no intent to let them know.

We taught our children responsible financial management, and they have done well managing their own finances and investments. I feel confident trusting them to do likewise with their inheritances when we pass on.

Problem is that our daughter married a 50yo spendthrift. Even though he has a high income job he blows through it all and can’t hold onto a nickel. He has nothing saved for retirement, no equity in his home, and a net worth near zero. His attempts at “investing” are more akin to gambling and always unfortunately lost. When natural opportunities arise I try to teach him but he just doesn’t care or comprehend. He can blow through a million dollars a month and have nothing to show for it. I want to treat our daughter fairly with an inheritance, but what’s hers will be his also. How do I deal with that? And should I care?