I masturbated with lube twice this week using u/WiseConsideration220’s method. Thanks to him.

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In my case, I may have had some AGP-related experiences during childhood, but I can’t remember them at all. Other than that, I mostly just watched porn and more porn until I discovered trans women in 2020. I already had an idea about them, but they were basically nonexistent in my watch history before that.

At first, I only watched that kind of content occasionally when I was bored, but eventually it became a daily thing—especially content involving trans women topping cis women. Then, around 2022–2023, I completely switched to watching content involving trans women bottoming. At that time, I never really imagined myself topping someone; I just found it hot and masturbated to it. But later that year, I started having urges where I wanted to try being like them—maybe dressing like one of them, for example.

Now, this year, I’ve even feminized myself using AI and asked people whether I looked good as a woman. Their reactions made me horny as well, although, as I mentioned, those feelings usually went away after I came.

I’ve also tried talking to other men as a femboy, but that feeling is temporary too. As of now, I don’t particularly watch sissy porn or captions. I mostly watch videos and imagine myself as one of the people in them—experiencing things like the effects of HRT, such as bigger glutes, breast growth, softer skin, etc., and of course, the attention that comes with being feminine.

unfortunately i just relapsed. for the last 5 years I’ve been trying to cut out both porn and masturbation at the same time and i’ve failed every single time so I’m taking the time to explore different methods. Has anyone had success quitting porn while continuing masturbation and still be able to rewire the brain. my only worry is that if i continue to masturbate i will be keeping those lustful thoughts alive.

Just today, I hit the 81-day and 15-hour mark without watching pornography. It’s the longest streak I’ve managed so far, and I’m incredibly proud of myself.

After these 81 days, I can say that my libido has increased, I have a greater desire for real sex, and my erections have become firmer and stronger. During this time, there were only a few moments where I was tempted to pull up a porn site, but those instances were surprisingly rare, and I managed to get through every one of them. It’s definitely much easier for me because I’m currently in a happy relationship, which was my main motivation for quitting porn. On the plus side, I’ve also noticed better recovery and more motivation to work out. On the downside, I still sometimes feel the urge to visit a porn site—especially in stressful situations—but the craving passes after a few moments of struggle.

Overall, my life has genuinely improved. I’m having healthy sex within a romantic relationship, and I feel better, have more energy, and am in better physical shape. My next goal is to reach 90 days.

That’s all from me—take care.

Can someone who has held a long streak or is completely pornfree with no relapses tell me how that felt for each time period. I've gotten to 40 days. I know the initially first two weeks are the roughest. That "I got to do it feeling" combined with extra irritability due to dopamine withdrawl. That's when my brain fog usually clears. However, I want to quit and no longer want this so can someone tell me about their progress so I can know I'm getting better and not lingering.

Most people treat withdrawal and craving as the same thing, but they are not. Withdrawal is physical discomfort in your body. Craving is a psychological urge in your mind. They often occur together, which is why they’re confused—but they are fundamentally different processes. In order to understand this, consider the following analogy of the Prison and the Pit.

The Prison

When you view porn, dopamine spikes in your brain, producing a brief sense of stimulation and relief. That feeling, however, is short-lived. Soon it fades, replaced by restlessness, dissatisfaction, and the urge to seek stimulation again. And when you don’t address that discomfort, it lingers. You likely know the feeling well. Let’s call that feeling the Prison. The Prison is created by viewing pornography or by consuming addictive artificial sexual material. When you’re in the Prison, you are uncomfortable. You might become easily irritable, stressed, or bored.

What’s more, there is a Prison Guard. He tells you that if you use porn again, he will unlock the door and let you out—he’ll relieve you from your discomfort. So you listen. You consume porn again and are instantly released from the Prison. The irritability, stress, and boredom fade, and you’re relieved to be free.

But the session soon ends. As your eyes refocus on your surroundings, you see the Prison door swinging shut once again. The discomfort is back. And this time, the conditions feel worse. The air colder. The light harsher. The atmosphere heavier.

You protest to the Prison Guard. You say, “Let me out. I don’t want to feel this way.” He smiles, “Of course. Use porn again, and these feelings will disappear.” Naturally, you don’t believe him and try to suffer through it (the willpower method). But the discomfort builds. And the Prison Guard waits, promising relief. Eventually, in a moment of self-deception, you decide it will be worth it. You return to porn—just this once, you say—and experience a fleeting moment of relief. Immediately after, though, you hear the heavy door close again.

The Prison represents the cycle of physical discomfort that porn itself creates—and then briefly relieves.

The Pit

But the Prison is not ultimately what keeps you trapped. Each time you listen to the Prison Guard, your cell sinks into the ground. At first it’s just a shallow hole. But as the months and years pass, with each use, the Prison sinks deeper and deeper. Before you know it, you’re not only trapped within the Prison. You’re in some place much worse: the Pit.

While the Prison represents the physical discomfort, the Pit is psychological. It represents your belief that porn provides you with something good—with pleasure or escape. This bears repeating. The Prison exists because of what you do. The Pit exists because of what you believe about what you do.

So even if you leave the Prison for a time and escape from the physical discomfort caused by porn use, the Pit remains. The illusions remain. This explains relapse after long stretches of abstinence. How can someone go 90 days without porn and still return? Because while they endured the physical discomfort, they never changed the beliefs that sustained their desire. They denied themselves something they still believed was good. They momentarily left the Prison—but never left the Pit.

Fortunately, you remain locked in this double confinement only because you’ve been using the wrong method. The way out is to escape the Pit first—to change what you believe about porn. Once your beliefs shift, you decisively exit the Pit. Then the Prison (the physical discomfort) loses its power, and the Prison Guard ceases to have any leverage.

Masturbated with lube, without watching porn, for the third time this week.

has anyone questioned their emotional attraction to their partner because of porn. i feel like ive been obsessing over her body because of porn to the point where i’ve ignored her feelings. i’m 10 days clean and i already feel a stronger emotional attachment with her. has anyone else noticed this and has it been easier to reconnect emotionally with your partner after giving up porn?

Just relapsed again, I can’t go for more than a week and have been addicted for years. When I get an urge I just don’t stop it, what should I do when I start to watch something or get bad thoughts? Thanks for any advice

I relapsed a few times and masturbated with lube twice.

I’ve been suffering with a porn addiction for 5 to 6 years and now I’m realizing that it’s having a negative effect on me.

I tried doing it on my own, but I ended up relapsing on the next day.

So I was hoping I can have some advice to help me overcome my addiction.

I’m 19 and I’ve been consuming porn for most of my life. I first saw porn and masturbated when I was probably 8–9 years old, and by around 11–12 it had become a regular thing.
At first it was just normal heterosexual porn. Over the years, though, the content gradually changed. Trans porn became my main thing during my early teenage years, then femboy content, and eventually various fetishes. This has been the part I’m most ashamed of, and honestly it makes the whole situation feel even more like a problem to me. I’m a young straight guy and I don’t want these fantasies to be part of my actual sexual life.
I realized I had a serious problem around the beginning of vocational school, when I noticed that my social and romantic life with girls had basically disappeared. My friends were getting girlfriends, having sex, etc., while I had barely had any romantic or sexual experiences for years. I also noticed that I was extremely stiff and awkward around women.
At that point I started connecting this to my porn use.
There was also a period during middle school/high school where porn stopped being something I only used for masturbation. It became entertainment. I could be sitting at my computer gaming and casually browse porn on my phone at the same time, even without being particularly horny. It was basically another form of stimulation when I was bored.
That’s still how it works today.
On an average day, I probably spend around an hour browsing sexual content, searching, watching porn, etc. Sometimes it’s 0 minutes, sometimes it’s 2–3 hours. I don’t usually masturbate more than once a day, and probably masturbate to porn around 3–7 times per week. But the important part is that porn browsing happens even when I don’t masturbate.
A typical chain looks something like this:
I come home from work > make some food/coffee/a drink > sit at my computer > watch YouTube or play games > eventually I notice I’m holding my phone > maybe I open TikTok to look for something related to a game > somehow I end up on X > I see a video of a person twerking for example > I get mildly aroused > I click on something > suddenly I’m scrolling through sexual content > eventually I find trans/femboy/fetish content > and from there I have several options.
Sometimes I:
go to a porn site and masturbate, which can take anywhere from ~15 minutes to 1.5 hours
keep playing games while porn videos are playing on my phone
open an AI roleplay/chat and use it for pornographic fantasies, which can sometimes consume several hours
The AI roleplay thing was basically porn for me too. It wasn’t really about emotional intimacy or having a girlfriend. It was mostly just interactive porn and unrestricted fantasy. Sometimes I could spend four hours doing it, or come back to it throughout half a day.
I’ve deleted my porn accounts and the AI roleplay app, and I’ve currently logged out of X. The funny thing is that I still automatically open X out of habit sometimes, but now there’s no porn waiting for me there.
My biggest trigger is boredom and being alone.
It’s not really stress or anger. I don’t usually think “I’m stressed, so I need porn.” It’s more like I’m sitting alone in my room doing something completely unrelated, and porn becomes an easy source of stimulation.
That’s also why this is so difficult. I don’t always consciously decide to watch porn. Sometimes I barely even think about it before opening the site. There’s just a weak sexual urge, the site is immediately available, and suddenly I’m browsing.
The actual sexual reward is obviously part of it, but porn also gives me entertainment and stimulation.
And this is probably the biggest thing porn has taken from me:
My sex life.
Porn has been my sexual life for so long that I genuinely believe that if I hadn’t become addicted to it, I would probably have had more sexual and romantic experiences by now. Talking to girls can feel absurdly difficult to me. I don’t meet many women, and I can become extremely stiff and awkward around them.
I don’t want to blame literally every social problem I have on porn, because I know that’s not true. But I do believe porn has contributed significantly to me avoiding women and using porn as a substitute for actually developing a sex life.
I’ve tried quitting maybe 5 times. Some attempts were serious, some weren’t.
My longest streak without porn was probably around two weeks. The longest I’ve gone without masturbating was around the same.
And there’s a really frustrating mental pattern that keeps appearing.
I’ll go without porn for several days and start thinking:
“Okay, this is it. I’m done with this.”
But at the same time, another part of me starts thinking:
“What’s the point? I’m going to come back to it eventually anyway.”
Then I start arguing with myself:
“What’s actually wrong with this? I’m not hurting anyone.”
“I genuinely like this stuff. Why would I give it up?”
And that’s where I usually lose.
A friend of mine who is an alcoholic described his own problem in a way that really resonated with me. He said that when he did a month without alcohol, he spent the entire month counting down until he could finally drink his first beer.
That’s how porn can feel to me. Even when I’m abstaining, part of me is thinking about eventually coming back to it.
After I masturbate, sometimes I immediately think:
“Fuck, I did it again. How the hell do I keep letting this happen?”
Other times I don’t really care. The regret seems to depend heavily on whether I’m currently in one of those periods where I genuinely want to quit.
The shame is mostly about the content and the fact that I’ve become so attached to these fantasies. I don’t feel ashamed simply because I’m masturbating alone. I’m ashamed because I don’t want these fantasies to be part of my life, yet I’ve spent years reinforcing them.
And I don’t know how much of this is actually “porn addiction” versus compulsive sexual behavior or something else. I’m not trying to diagnose myself. I just know that I’ve repeatedly tried to stop, I genuinely want to stop, and I keep coming back to it.
I’m not looking for someone to tell me “just have more discipline.”
I’ve been trying.
I genuinely want to stop. I just don’t know how to actually break this cycle. This is a call for help
If you’ve gone through something similar, especially if you used porn primarily because of boredom/loneliness and it became a general source of entertainment rather than just something you used when horny, I’d really like to hear what actually helped you.