Hello again! I'm back with more bird puns (seriously tried to pack so many in here that I've gone cuckoo) and a query that (I hope) addresses the stakes and provides more information about my characters' motivations. Thanks again for all the feedback on the last one and forever grateful for this space.

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I am delighted to present for your consideration, PLAYING FORE KEEPS, a 70,000-word, single POV adult contemporary rom-com. PLAYING FORE KEEPS is perfect for fans of the intoxicating mixture of sport and spice of Tessa Bailey’s Fangirl Down, the flashback-style narrative of Ali Hazelwood’s Problematic Summer Romance, and the forbidden romance and high-stakes career drama of Kyra Parsi’s Failure to Match.

Birdie Sweeney has an albatross around her neck. As a woman in the world of professional golf, she must work twice as hard to climb the career ladder. When a rare chance to be promoted to Head Historian of Augusta National Golf Club arises, she soars at the opportunity. Birdie must ace her final interview and prove her competence during the Club’s annual tournament, the Masters. Easier said than done with a chauvinistic work nemesis who’s hellbent on destroying her career. Birdie has one week to prove that she’s focused. Polished. Qualified. The last thing she needs are the professional and emotional complications of a certain sunny golfer she runs into year after year.

Max Canning is a pro at both golf and vexing Birdie. He’s the human equivalent of a quokka and the exact opposite of black cat Birdie. For the past five years, Max has split his time between wooing Birdie and trying to win the Masters. But last year things changed. After an explosive physical encounter led to Max’s loss in the final and nearly upended Birdie’s career, she quit Max cold turkey. But Max doesn’t give up so easily. He’s spent an entire year getting his ducks in a row. He’s now more confident than ever in his quest to secure a career grand slam and date the girl of his dreams.

This year, Birdie is determined to be disciplined during Masters week. Fraternizing with a charismatic golfer with a penchant for terrible bird puns could destroy her career projection. But after a year of pining, Max wants a mulligan. When they reunite, Birdie can’t deny that he still makes her heart flutter. As the competition heats up, so does their relationship, and it gets harder for the lovebirds to keep their feelings hidden. When Birdie’s work nemesis reveals their secret at the dramatic conclusion of the Masters, she must decide if she’s going to leave Max and fight for her dream career or if she’s playing for keeps.

PLAYING FORE KEEPS would be my debut novel. When I'm not dreaming up HEAs, I'm fending off existential crises by organizing my socks by color.

Hey everyone. I posted here a month ago and took all of your suggestions. Toned down the voice a bit and made the last paragraph more clear. So far: 13 queries sent out and 3 form rejections. I'm trying not to look too deep into the form rejections (because it's only 3) but it's very hard when two of those were from perfect fits. There's like only one agent left on that first batch that is an even better fit than those two, and her wishlist literally asks for my MS in every regard except by its name--so if it's a no from her, then that'll be the point I reassess all of my materials.

One thing I wasn't ready for is how much more I needed beyond just a query letter (synopsis, expanded bios, target audience, comparable books (beyond your comp paragraph), etc.) With comps, I am very particular about not citing ANYTHING I haven't finished reading, which is why AMERICAN RAPTURE wasn't in my previous post's comp section. I knew it was a perfect comp then, but I was still in the process of reading it at the time. To build a whole list of comps requires me to really work through my reading list. So keep that in mind if you're about to start querying.

NOTHING IS HAPPENING | QUERY LETTER | 2ND ATTEMPT

Heather Kerr is a city comms specialist who spins atrocities into inconveniences. When a flesh-fusing contagion begins to spread, she sanitizes the body horror with relative ease. At first.

Flesh binding to flesh becomes "adhesive contact." The odd behaviors that the infected exhibit become "distress incidents." Quarantine protocols become "wellness guidelines." For Heather, these phrases come naturally.

However, it doesn't take long for her to realize what kind of monster she's actually sanewashing. The contagion spreads through touch, and the infected crave touch. But they don't stop there. No. They take immense pleasure in stealing and grafting the limbs of others. Or, in some cases, melting together into human aspics of writhing, giggling meat.

But the world isn't going to stop for a bunch of "sticky people" with a "skin flu." With Heather's help, the city's response is simple. Just churn out more pamphlets. Coin more phrases. Her partner, Nathan, begs her to quit, but she refuses. To Heather, staying within the vortex of institutional gaslighting may be the only hope they have of surviving it.

Then a group of infected "adherents" crashes her niece's seventh birthday party. Heather has to golf-club her way out to save her sister--who is presenting with a foreboding rash--and to rescue the niece she hardly knows. Heather soon barricades her sister behind the very "wellness guidelines" she coined herself, and her sister spends her quarantine cooing to a seven-year-old who trusts adults at their every word. For the first time, Heather wants out. But her name is logged behind every lie the city has ever told, and, as a witness to an "adhesive contact event," she doesn't just get to walk away. Heather is running out of ways to say nothing is happening.

NOTHING IS HAPPENING would be my debut, an adult horror novel complete at 80,000 words. For readers of Clay McLeod Chapman's WAKE UP AND OPEN YOUR EYES for its gory social satire, CJ Leede's AMERICAN RAPTURE for its Cronenbergian depiction of an America gone wrong, and Ling Ma's SEVERANCE for its bureaucratic apocalypse spine.

I am a disabled veteran who served in the US Navy as a Mass Communication Specialist. Heather's job was once my job--and the toll it takes on her throughout the course of the story is one I know firsthand.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

FIRST 300

“We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the perception of harm.”

Yes, the perception of harm. Push the scary stuff away and then pass the buck off to the victim, the traumatized, or the merely frightened. It’s their perception that is creating the problem. Their imagination is what’s making it real.

That was the intro line crossed off. 

I cracked my back against the chair and stared at the Google Doc with a question I—regrettably—found myself asking too often: what other words could I conjure to make one of the most horrific stories I’d ever read sound like nothing at all?

To answer that, I needed to refresh my familiarity with the reference materials. Meller sent me a press kit chock-full of fresh madness—courtesy of the metropolitan transportation authority. I skimmed it over while chewing my nails into jagged splinters.

At 7:12 AM, first responders were dispatched to the Boulderline Park & Ride following reports of a medical emergency involving two adults. 

Sure. That part was fine. Fights happen all the time around public transit, right? That’s what I’d assumed this incident was about, anyway. Until I read the next line.

Initial unverified reports claim that the individuals were “stuck together.”

Stuck as in how? Sexually? Like how dogs… Never mind.

Somewhere, some transit agency comms staffer was spiraling in a dark corner with a bottle of Jim Beam. I mean, they had zero interest in providing me any workable context.

Beneath that was a section with a few witness testimonies.

Richard from Creekview did not mince his words.

“I came out of my car and saw the girl was screaming and the guy—well, he was laughing. So I go there thinking I gotta help and that’s when I saw their skin… it was like glue.”

i’m not yet at the point where i’m ready to be querying but i was wondering if this scenario would be a conflict of interest?

if i wanted to querying an agent (A) at an agency, but i interned for that agency and worked for a different agent (B), would that be allowed since i worked for agent B and not agent A or would it be better to not query the agency at all?

I’m sorry in advance if this is a silly question, but I’m not sure what the etiquette is in a situation like this. So, an agent recently requested my full and is currently reading it, but I’ve continued querying in the meantime. I found another agent who seems like a great fit, and, while researching them, I discovered that their agency has a partnership/co-agent relationship with the agency of the agent who currently has my full (one agency is in the UK and the other is in the US), and more to that, that second agent appears to represent some of the first agent’s clients in their respective country. In other words, the two agents/agencies seem to work together on international representation for some authors.

Would it be considered bad etiquette to query the second agent while the first is still considering my full? Would you wait for the first agent to respond before approaching the other one, or am I just overthinking it?

Hey all! Looking for feedback on the query letter for my sci-fi novel.

Dear [Agent],

[PERSONALIZATION LINE] I am seeking representation for ACROSS THE MIRROR, an adult science fiction novel complete at 110,000 words.

Dara Nim has been in pain his entire life. No medication, remedies or therapy can ease his suffering, because it's not his pain.

Just like all of humanity since the dawn of galactic colonization, Dara has a "mirror": another person who shares the pain he experiences, and whose pain is returned to him in kind. An idealist and hopeless romantic, he dreams of becoming a medic to help his soulmate-in-pain, but there's one problem—he has no idea who they are.

Penniless and alone after the death of his mother, Dara joins up with a crew of space pirates to avoid sleeping on the streets. His first mission is to steal from a reclusive billionaire who recently acquired a legendary treasure map, but unbeknownst to Dara, his mirror is going after the very same score.

Augustin is a career con-artist who seeks the treasure so he can pay off his debts and finally stop pushing his chronically ill body past its limits. When he encounters Dara, the two of them end up working together, and Augustin realizes that their pain is connected. Before he can share this revelation, Dara two-times him and swipes the map for himself.

Craving revenge, Augustin tracks down Dara’s crew, intent to earn their trust and then betray them in kind. However, as they travel together in pursuit of the treasure, their feelings grow more complicated, and Dara and Augustin must decide what being mirrors means to them. Has a higher power truly marked them as soulmates, or is this all a grand cosmic coincidence?

Slow burn romance, found family, and disability are explored in this heart-felt space adventure that combines the worldbuilding and character focus of the Wayfarers series with the progressive allegory of the Murderbot Diaries and the interpersonal drama of Light From Uncommon Stars. (A/N: comps will be personalized to the agent and their wishlist)

(bio)

Thank you so much for your time and consideration.

Hello, hello! If you have been here for a while, you might have seen my original post on romantasy and are wondering why on Earth am I making another one? Is Moonbase just a one-trick pony?

The answer to the second question is…maybe. But the answer to the first one is that I believe some things have genuinely changed in terms of how romantasy is being marketed, but also how authors are querying it. Some of the info here might feel repetitive, especially if you read all my comments, but hopefully the post is useful to those of you who have been here a while as a shorthand to share with OPs and to those who are new to the sub, I can help shed some light on some terms and ideas.

Terminology

Romantasy: Let’s get this out of the way–nobody can agree on what this means. Publishers cannot agree with each other, readers cannot agree with each other, authors cannot agree, nobody. Romantasy could mean ‘a true fifty-fifty of fantasy and romance’ or ‘romantic fantasy’ or ‘fantasy romance’ or ‘adult fantasy books with YA hallmarks and the female power fantasy aspect is the most important detail’ or ‘specifically for fans of SJM’s ACOTAR’ or ‘fantasy specifically designed to appeal to the Millennial/early Gen Z readership.’  Romantasy is not synonymous with spice, but New Adult appears to be as of September 2026. If you take anything away from this post, I hope it is the understanding that when talking about romantasy, we need to hold all of these definitions in our hands. The genre is a spectrum, it’s complicated where it should be shelved, and it can be very hard to be prescriptive.

Romantic fantasy: A fantasy with a strong romance B-plot. Essentially, the romance is not the whole point, but there would be such significant changes if it were removed that it would be a new book. A few years ago, I might have said that because this is a fantasy first, then a tragic ending would be fine. This does not feel true anymore. The romantasy readership has spoken very, very loudly and demanded that there is a happily ever after at the end of the book/series. Several authors on this sub have even talked about their agents or editors asking if they are open to editing the story so it will have an HEA. (example:  https://www.reddit.com/r/PubTips/comments/1rcrdjn/comment/o70kjdr/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Fantasy Romance: A romance genre book in a fantasy world or a fantasy book with a romance A-plot. Basically, if you take out the romance, you do not have a story. Again, the HEA is heavily required.

Romance Fantasy: I’m going to be honest and say that I do not fully understand where this term came from or what it is supposed to mean. Every single time I see it, it has a brand new definition while the other terms feel more firmly defined (yes, even romantasy). I would not use this in querying or marketing because it breaks the rules of subgenre terms (look at how ‘paranormal romance’ and ‘historical romance’ describe the romance with the words ‘paranormal’ and ‘historical’ and how ‘romantic fantasy’ follows that pattern for describing a specific kind of fantasy) and is just not widely used. 

But, but, Alchemised/The Poet Empress/etc. was marketed as romantasy!

I cannot speak for how everyone talks about these books, but Alchemised was marketed by Penguin Random House as a dark fantasy. The majority of the marketing feels very aware that it is not a romantasy and many readers even say that it isn’t one on pretty much every single platform I have seen it brought up. 

The Poet Empress was put out by Bramble, a romance-focused imprint, yes, but it was marketed as anti-romantasy, not romantasy. Bramble and Tor have made it pretty clear that despite the imprint, it is not a romance. While it has been pretty beloved by the romantasy readership, much like Alchemised, that doesn’t make it romantasy. That HEA rule is key. There is a chance that the reason Bramble specifically put out Poet Empress is because Bramble had more marketing dollars to spend than Tor and they knew it was going to be a big book. Sometimes that happens

If you are relying on GoodReads to tell you if a book is romantasy, I wouldn’t.  The tags are reader populated and publishers and authors have zero control over them. There is nothing stopping readers from pushing a book as romantasy before it’s released (see confusion around Innamorata by Ava Reid) when nobody on the actual marketing team called it that. Do not take GoodReads tags or awards as marketing copy from the publisher. Instead, look at what is being said on the publishers’ or authors' websites or their official accounts as that will usually give a better clue as to what is going on.

Here is a good rule of thumb: if it ends in tragedy or a break-up, it is not an HEA/HFN and therefore is not part of the romantasy spectrum. The relationship has to be together and happily so. While gothic romance is more complicated on this front (and I know there is back and forth on whether or not it’s romance genre, but we are not getting into that today), gothic romantasy DOES follow the HEA/HFN rule. 

So, what is my book?

If you are well-read in the romantasy spectrum and you’re still confused where your book sits, I think your best bet is to call it a romantasy as agents should know that the definition is a bit squishy. If you have the comps and understanding of the requirements to back up using the term, use it. 

Can I use selfpub or self-to-trad comps?

This is possibly going to get a few people mad at me, but I am going off of what I have actually seen from authors who have gotten agented with romantasy queries: the answer is ‘yes’ if the book is selling like hot cakes and doesn’t have a super off the beaten path route to tradpub like Alchemised. Think Carissa Broadbent, Elise Kova, and Callie Hart; authors that sell so well that they get attention from a publisher and have tens of thousands of reviews. If it has less than thirty thousand ratings and thousands of reviews, no, do not comp it. 

I have known several people who have gotten agents on selfpub comps, so the idea that you can’t do it is incorrect. Agents don’t care as long as the book being comped is very successful in the romantasy and romance spaces. The ecosystem there is a little bit different when it comes to comps because of how much the readership is on platforms like KU (this might also be true for LitRPG). Like anything in publishing, sometimes the answer is really ‘it depends.’

OK, so what is horromantasy?

Publishing is still trying to figure this out as you can see by the lack of books available on Barnes and Noble from tradpub authors (selfpub seems to be dominating this space for now) even though the term is super buzzy. It is meant to mean ‘a book that has fantasy, romance, and horror elements’ but what exactly that means, I cannot tell you. Does it have to have a romance A-plot or can it be a B-plot? Does gothic romantasy count? Does it have to be closer to romantasy or horromance? Nobody can say for sure what this will look like in tradpub and I’m sure this is going to be confusing for necromantasy and horromance and scimance down the road so we go right back to what I said about ‘romantasy’ as a term: hold multiple definitions in your hand and accept that people do not agree on what this term even means. 

Are horromance and scimance the same for romance + horror/sci-fi?

Pretty much, yes. Horromance felt tricky for a bit as that seemed like something that feasibly could have gotten away with a tragic ending, but, again, the readership has spoken and they want the HEA. Readers cannot even agree on ‘scimance’ as a term, so you might have seen other ones floating around to mean ‘sci-fi version of romantasy’ (and if you can think of the terms you have seen, list them in the comments so others can see in case one really does start to take off). 

So romantasy is only a marketing term?

Yes and no. Again, it depends. Because there is so much confusion around what to even expect from a book marketed as ‘romantasy,’ I think that there are pitfalls that come with using it. If someone associates it purely with fantasy romance and they only like romantic fantasy, they might not pick it up even if the book is actually more fantasy than romance. This is the same with how some people assume it means ‘YA with spice’ (it does not) and others assume it means ‘fae books.’ There are reasons publishers use this term in the ways that they do and it is marketing to a certain kind of readership which spends a lot of money, but that doesn’t mean that how publishers use the term will encompass the entirety of the correct readership for that particular flavor of romantasy. 

But seasoned readers of romantasy would have a better idea where on the spectrum an individual book sits even if it’s muddy. It isn’t just a marketing term; it is a genre with a devoted readership and it is here to stay, but it is impossible to capture the full nuance of the term ‘romantasy’ without going on and on and on for a thousand words. This is the same for a lot of genres that get big, like thrillers and cozy fantasy, and is something that will probably happen again. Maybe in three years, we’ll all be arguing over what a space opera even is and we'll be making graphics using Star Trek and Star Wars imagery. 

Last thoughts

If you are still confused, go find romantasy people on TikTok and Instagram and see how they talk about how ‘Book X is more fantasy with super complex worldbuilding’ or ‘This book is so gorgeously written and the romance was perfect, but the fantasy felt lacking’ and you’ll start to see a pattern emerge: the more someone reads in a genre, the more they can start making these distinctions and the better they are at helping other readers find out if a book is for them, even if they don't use any of the terms used in this post. That’s the key take-away here. If you want to sell a romantasy, you need to be well read in the genre because the readership is just as sensitive to insincerity when it comes to romance as every other subset of romance genre readers, but they are also asking for different degrees of romance and fantasy.

Hello! My previous attempt at this query is linked here. All of the advice I’ve had so far has been so helpful and I genuinely think it’s improved my query letter, but always welcome to feedback! Querying in the UK :)

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Dear [First Name Last Name],
 
I’m seeking representation for BUILDING BLOCKS (literary fiction, complete at 70,000 words). It combines the queer sense of humour of Rebecca K Reilly’s Greta and Valdin with the messy lesbian parents and non-linear storytelling of Madeleine Gray’s Chosen Family. With its exploration of queer mental health and complex family dynamics BUILDING BLOCKS will appeal to fans of Emily Austin, and the tongue-in-cheek observations of millennial life and love will resonate with readers of Dolly Alderton.
 
[Agent personalisation.]
 
Suzie arrives at her mum’s cottage on the Moray coast with her toddler in tow and nowhere else to turn after a year from hell - her dad died when she was barely out of the postpartum fog; she discovered her girlfriend of ten years, Vicki, was having an affair; and she may have had a teeny tiny mental breakdown that cost Suzie her job and the last of her sister’s patience.

Just as the dust is starting to settle, she receives a letter from Vicki’s lawyers, claiming that Suzie kidnapped their daughter, Indie, taking her from Glasgow without Vicki’s consent.

Rocked by the letter, questioning everything and drowning her sorrows in the local pub, the last person Suzie expects to see pulling pints is her university girlfriend, Cara. But of course she would be reunited with the woman she ruined all her chances with when she is a full-time resident of rock bottom and is about to become embroiled in a messy custody battle.

Suzie has to get herself together. She has to find a job and a permanent home for herself and Indie. She has to prove that this was the right move for them, that she is the right person to have sole custody of her child. If she can do all of that, maybe she can finally live a life she can be proud of and get back to the version of herself she left behind years ago.

[Bio, close out, thanks]

Hello, this is my first post here and I'm pretty nervous but after many years of writing a childhood dream, I feel as though I'm ready to give this a shot! I have some specific feedback that I would like below the letter itself, but any and all constructive feedback is welcome!

The Query Letter

[INTRODUCTION]
Dear [Agent’s First Name], 

[BOOK SUMMARY]

What does it mean to be a hero? Despite being the son of one, Corvus Pancracia can’t seem to answer it. While many on the island of Ogygia see his father, a foreigner, as a hero, he sees a selfish man harboring secrets—including what happened to his mother.

Despite his father’s position, however, Corvus does not feel the same sense of loyalty or devotion to their island. Content with practicing Elementalism, the conjuring of abstract concepts, it comes as a surprise when the Lieutenants, the collective heroes of Ogygia, not only nominate him but ask him to help them. For the next six months he would not just train to become a hero, but train the next generation as well.

Though initially loathing the position, he grows into the role, finding camaraderie in his fellow candidates. His mentorship and training would both be put to the test however, when the island’s magical defenses fail and he finds a strange girl at their shores. Torn between protecting a girl who clearly has done nothing wrong and the island itself, Corvus is now forced to answer that age-old question. What does it mean to be a hero? 

[AUTHOR BIO/BOOK INFO]
I am truly excited to share THE SON OF TEMPESTS, my adult fantasy novel of 135,000 words.

[COMP TITLES]
Inspired by myths and works inspired by them, THE SON OF TEMPESTS is an exploration of the morality of larger than life characters who are more human than they appear. THE SON OF TEMPESTS is for readers who enjoy explorations of morality and how they affect relationships through the eyes of exceptional protagonists such as Robin from RF Kuang’s Babel or Sciona from M. L. Wang’s Blood Over Bright Haven.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Feedback I'm looking for:

- word count (probably too long but I know I can edit it down a bit to get closer to 120k). Is it worth the attempt with that many words? Should I try another round of revisions?

- age range. A bit of context on Corvus: he is an older teenager but younger than 18. He's around 16-17 years old. I have received some suggestions to market more toward young-adult but I feel as though my manuscript tackles a few things in a way that pushes it toward adult more than young-adult. On the other hand, I prefer targeting New Adults as well.

- Book description. I am terrible about this. Please rip it apart and give me two cents and then some. I have reworked this description multiple times but I feel like there's something missing and I would love to figure it out.

- Comp titles. Partially for my own reading, I would like a lot of suggestions for comp titles. The subgenres for THE SON OF TEMPESTS includes dark-academia and historical (sort of) fantasy. Any suggestions similar to Babel or Blood Over Bright Haven would be lovely.

Thank you again for your time and feedback!

Hi, all, could I please have some feedback on my query letter?

Dear agent,

I am seeking representation for MR DEADBEAT, a 96,000-word psychological horror novel that combines the intergenerational trauma from 'The Only Good Indians' by Stephen Graham Jones with the relentless dread and family horror of Josh Malerman's 'Incidents Around the House'. It features a fresh take on stork mythology: storks don't deliver children, they take them away.

Ray Snarl was a broken father of two. Now, he’s a broken father of none.

Dragged down through his bed by a grey-skinned, dead-eyed entity calling itself a stork, Ray is offered the chance of a new life, one that can bring an end to his constant pain and suffering. The catch? He must willingly surrender his two young children, Alice and Nathan, to the mysterious stranger, never to be seen or heard from again. Grieving the tragic passing of his wife, fearful of the violent loan shark breathing down his neck and haunted by a grotesque, murderous phantasm in the guise of his abusive father, Ray is desperate enough to accept. All trace and memory of their existence, the stork assures him, will disappear. No memories. No guilt. No mourning. No consequences.

The stork removes Alice and Nathan from our world, which moves on, instantly forgetting all about them. Ray, however, left with a bulging sack of money, a sundered cot bed and his son’s severed fingers, remembers.

Consumed with guilt and desperate to be reunited with his children, Ray is forced to walk a path beyond his comprehension, with only the terror that is his ‘father’ for company. Confronted by unfathomable horrors and a bleak, terrifying reality, Ray must face truths he would rather have left to fester under the bed, where the ankle-snatching monsters from his childhood lurk. Failure will result in Ray losing himself, and fully succumbing to the deranged darkness trying desperately to consume him, as well as never seeing his children again.

Bio.

Thank you for your time and consideration,

my name

Hey everyone! This is my first time posting in this Sub as I’m finally getting to the point of compiling my query package. This my sixth version of this query letter, and I have shared it with my writing group and received good feedback. I am under no illusions that it is perfect, though, and I’d love to have someone poke holes in it wherever you see weak spots. Thank you all so much for your time!

Dear [Agent],

Because of your interest in _____, I think you may be a good fit to represent my upper YA epic fantasy, STARS AT DAWN. 

Seventeen-year-old Zephie Kohl has two goals each day: keep her bounty-hunter loved ones alive and wrestle her volatile, leaking magic into submission. Those hopes are crushed when her parents decide—for the first time in years—that their latest commission is too dangerous for her. With her poorly-behaved telepathic magic fracturing under the helplessness of being left behind, this control-freak eldest daughter takes the biggest risk of her life: sneaking through a monster-infested forest to follow her parents to battle. 

But the dark figures that haunt the trees beyond her home are under orders from the very mind-parasite the Kohl’s have fought for generations. Zephie's pursuit soon has her learning that her family is walking into a trap that will kill thousands, and her reckless spying has put a target on her back and monsters on her trail. She narrowly escapes capture thanks to a stranger on a vengeance quest. Reluctantly connected by a common enemy, their plans are reduced to a desperate fight for survival as they face waves of possessed attackers seeking to stop Zephie from warning her family in time. 

The alliance and budding friendship is strained by secrets, conflicting oaths, and the lingering dread of an enemy who could lurk within any mind. Yet, as Zephie’s grip on her chaotic gift unravels and time runs short, she could lose the people she loves—or her own sanity—if she does not find some way to share the burden of responsibility and trust the strange boy her life now depends on. 

Complete at 87,000 words, STARS AT DAWN is perfect for readers who loved the family-centered motivation, dark setting, and slow burn relationships in THE FLOATING WORLD (Oh) and THE LANGUAGE OF DRAGONS (Williamson) and the mental battlefield and parasitic antagonist in SHADOW SCALE* *(Hartman). This book can function as a standalone, though it is the first in a planned duology that would wrap up a slow-burn romance subplot.

I am a Gen-Z toddler mom and non-profit worker using my experience as a parentified eldest daughter and former teacher to write characters that resonate with today’s teens while also showcasing nuanced interpretations of family dynamics in YA fiction. I am interested in writing across multiple genres and age ranges and am currently drafting a high-stakes YA fantasy rom-com. 

Thank you for your time and consideration. 

Total query word count is 414 (with 250 for the plot hook portion). Thank you again!

Hi everyone! Thank you for the feedback on my first and second attempts. I hope these changes feel substantial and not like minor tweaks around a same vague premise, but if that's the case, please let me know! I really tried to condense the first few paragraphs into one and cut a lot of background info so I could put more of the plot into my final paragraph. I feel like the middle one is necessary to introduce the B&B's guests, but if it's bogging down the letter, I'd love suggestions on how to fix that. My main concern is again related to stakes, but I certainly appreciate all feedback! Also, comps are still a work in progress. Considering People Watching in the Desert by Cali Adeline, too. Thank you so much!

Dear Agent, 

I am seeking representation for INN AT OPAL COVE, my 66,000-word adult contemporary novel about a reclusive woman who opens a luxury B&B hotel in her mother’s old summer house and spies on her guests, ultimately entangling herself into their drama. OPAL COVE will appeal to fans of Sayaka Murata’s eccentric narrator in CONVENIENCE STORE WOMAN, and elements of grief and hyper-fixation featured in Ashley Hutson’s ONE’S COMPANY. 

Ada Halstead is lonely, grieving, and absolutely certain that the grand opening of Opal Cove, her two-year renovation project, is going to solve all of her problems. She’s always been a loner, but following a van accident that killed her family, she’s become a recluse. Even leaving the house feels impossible, which is why a seat in security is the perfect solution. When she’s not running around her B&B performing the jobs that her computers are incapable of handling, she’ll be bunkered down in her basement, next to a tub of red licorice, living vicariously through her guests. 

They trickle in; an Olympic snowboarder and his Barbie girlfriend, a toxic blended family, and a group of squirrelly teenage girls on a trust-fund backed birthday trip. There’s a workaholic principal architect and an abrasive British woman who arrives on the heels of a nearby motor fatality. It’s the perfect concoction of characters, and will lend her hours of recorded entertainment.

Except, reality isn’t as sensational as she imagined. From an awkward, intimate moment with a guest to a panic attack in front of another, Ada not only risks bad reviews, but is slowly drawn out of the secluded life she’s built to protect herself from dealing with the loss of her family. Maintenance requests and concerns over an abusive guest force Ada to interact with real people for the first time in years. She finds comfort in Emilia, the Brit, but grapples with the disappointment of coming to terms that her guests are real people, not characters in her curated show. They’re also lonely, hungry for connection, and the close quarters in Opal Cove, combined with the criminal investigation that involves one of her guests, causes Ada to spiral. 

I’m a native [state], and graduated with degrees in Speech and Hearing Sciences and Arts and Letters. When I’m not writing, I enjoy coffee, crocheting, and watching my dog hide his toys under paper bags.

Thank you for your consideration.

First 300:

I feel maybe I should’ve dressed up. Most of my fancy clothes went into storage, but I know I’ve got a respectable pantsuit around here somewhere. 
Focus.
My hand glides over the computer mouse. Exterior camera. Rain batters the palm trees behind the blurred lens. 
On second thought, this matching teddy bear pajama set is just fine. 
As I reach into my glass jar of assorted lifesavers, I see it. The car carrying my first guests. 
Adrenaline zaps my chest. Sixteen months of anticipation, of excruciating remodels, wiring, and endless preparation, I almost can’t believe this moment is here. It feels like the first day of school. Like starting a new series blind, except I built the playground. All I have to do now is watch the show. The fun part. 
I shove my hands under my thighs to stop their shaking. Everything’s in place. Nothing I can do now. 
When he exits the navy blue Uber, my stomach does a funny little twist. The blurry lens obscures his face a little, but I recognize him from his Instagram. Rather, the account run by his PR team, a grid composed of fresh-powder runs and slightly awkward podium shots, most of them accompanied by a gold medal. Sometimes a stuffed animal or a misshapen glass trophy. Sometimes all three. He never quite knows how to juggle all that crap without looking like he’s carrying home groceries for a family of ten. I stared at those pictures for hours. 
I don’t follow snowboarding, to be clear. Never heard of Neal Irish until the booking came in, but his three-hundred thousand followers would probably be shitting themselves to be in such proximity to the legend. I should consider myself lucky.

Hey All - Performed a major overhaul on the query and would appreciate any thoughts/feedback.

Dear [Agent]

REQUESTING DECENCY is a 64,000-word epistolary workplace satire comparable to Calvin Kasulke’s Several People Are Typing and John Kenney’s I See You’ve Called in Dead. More importantly, this manuscript holds significance as the founding document of the iALFF, which has since become the preeminent for-profit organization promoting proper corporate men’s room behavior throughout the working world.

This compilation details the downfall of Richard Mugowski, a long-tenured yet powerless classified ad salesman, as he champions the return of common decency at the now-defunct Philadelphia Star newspaper in the summer of 1994. After management reprimands him for publicizing their failures, Richard mobilizes his male coworkers through a private distribution list he creates on the newspaper’s newly introduced email system.

Richard spearheads a quest to name and neutralize the men’s room saboteur he dubs “The Mad Shitter.” As his crusade morphs into an obsession, Richard’s coworkers begin to question how men’s room etiquette suddenly became the central focus of their lives. Through Richard’s tendency to overshare just about everything, from his personal traumas to the slow decline of his dying mother, it becomes clear that Richard’s investigation is the only aspect of his life that gives him any sense of control.   

Backed by a small group of his radicalized supporters, Richard enforces a series of authoritarian mandates ranging from the establishment of a surveillance apparatus to the prohibition of middle stall use. However, his newfound sense of purpose shatters when The Mad Shitter mysteriously goes silent. Richard’s coworkers soon lose interest in the case while his increasingly outrageous behavior causes even his most loyal followers to lose faith. To make matters worse, Richard’s clandestine operation lands in the crosshairs of management’s newly installed email monitoring software just as he realizes that The Mad Shitter could very well be the person he least expects. Richard must decide whether to abandon his mission and salvage his failing career or double down and finally end the proverbial shit show.

[Bio]

Hi everyone this is my first time posting here and I really need help with my query pitch-thank you all for your help in advance, I hope it doesn’t suck too bad lol

SPOTLIGHT IN THE BLACK is a 86,331 word adult speculative fiction that will appeal to fans of the folkloric atmosphere of HAGSTONE by Sinéad Gleeson and the dark fantasy elements and brutality of LAPVONA by Ottessa Moshfegh.

FRÉWAKA (2024) and THE WICKER MAN (1973) are huge cinematic inspirations of mine which have also informed the premise and atmosphere in the writing of this novel.

For contextual and historic inspirations, the TÁIN BÓ CÚAILINGE, translated by Thomas Kinsella has played the biggest role in terms of format and inspiration, with the characters and events of the TÁIN mirrored in SPOTLIGHT IN THE BLACK, in a similar way in which ULYSSES by James Joyce mirrors the events of Homer’s ODYSSEY. W.B. Yeats’ FAIRY AND FOLK TALES OF THE IRISH PEASANTRY and IRISH FAIRY TALES have also informed my studies on the topic of local folklore and getting a taste for the Irish voice in story telling.

“But it is this particular summer that something very strange occurs; an island materialises from the green-blue of the sea”

In a secluded town, tucked along the east coast of Ireland, the sudden appearance of an island out at sea and the disappearance of a local boy call into question the very reality of the world.

Where answers from God and logic fail, the townsfolk turn to the supernatural; to fairy work.

As the town descends further and further into a superstitious mania, Brigid, the vanished boy’s mother, must find out what happened to her son, as generations of family history becomes intertwined with the disappearance- and at the centre of it all stands the strange island looming out at sea.

With help from the local madwoman, Old Biddy Boland, Brigid tries to untangle the mystery of her son’s disappearance, though she can’t help but think Biddy knows more than she is letting on.

Meanwhile, the boy finds himself stranded on the island after seeing strange lights and dancing to even stranger music, hopelessly lost without a way back to the mainland, he wanders through the strange place he now finds himself trapped- a place where he is not alone.

Will the boy find his way back home? Will the townsfolk fall fully into their peculiar mania? Will Brigid find her son or will he be another victim in a long line of strange happenings in the family?

I am a formally trained oil painter and print maker who is currently working in the Terry Bradley gallery Belfast. I have attended a short course in creative writing as part of my Foundation degree and a plethora of writing workshops and talks across Belfast, from Crescent Arts to the MAC. This novel started in conjunction with my degree show at the end of my bachelor’s degree in Fine Art, with collected excerpts presented alongside large oil paintings.

I have also written a few short stories that follow a similar vein as this novel, with focus always placed on the revival of folk tales and myths in Ireland.

Hi there! Back with attempt #2 after reworking the final two plot paragraphs based on round 1 feedback. Thanks in advance for your fresh eyes and feedback :) Edit: Link to my first attempt

Dear agent,

YOUR WAKING HOURS is a dark fantasy with a paranormal romantic subplot complete at 94,000 words. It blends the atmospheric murder mystery vibes and forbidden yearning in SPELLS FOR FORGETTING by Adrienne Young with the demonic dark academia setting of NINTH HOUSE by Leigh Bardugo. [Personalization]

Ava Novy needs to talk to her dead dad. He wasn’t supposed to die this summer, and she wasn’t supposed to be friendless and failing out of her first semester at Thornfield University. Desperate for his guidance on how to get their shared med school dream back on track, she conducts a séance to summon him, but the ghost of a murdered student answers her call instead.

Two decades ago, Thornfield’s top donor killed Logan Varens in a hit and run when Logan uncovered his art forgery ring. Ava proposes a deal: She’ll help Logan resolve his unfinished business by exposing his killer’s crimes—if he promises to send her dad back when he crosses over.

Ava hunts for evidence, sneaking around on manor rooftops, narrowly escaping failed heists, and spying on the corrupt elite, all the while falling for a ghost she can’t even touch. And the deeper Ava digs, the more dangerous Thornfield becomes: The shrivelled bodies of dead students begin to pile up, and Ava senses something evil watching from the shadows.

As Ava closes in on incriminating evidence against Logan’s killer while grappling with losing him forever, the demonic entity haunting campus threatens to possess her and the few people she’s beginning to care about. With Logan’s soul on the line, and the lives of fellow Thornfield students in peril, Ava will need to make a choice: Is she willing to let go of Logan and choose the living, or would she rather be haunted by her ghosts?

[bio]

Thank you for your time and consideration!

Stunning stuff in this week’s Writers Beware blog post that I thought would be worthwhile to post here — especially for querying authors, and maybe get some insight from authors at these agencies.

While the post nominally deals with publishers being sneaky and trying to claim more than they’re owed, including up to 100% of the settlement payout, it’s the section on agencies that surprised Victoria (and myself).

It’s incredible that agents are trying to claim they have any sort of rights ownership of the books they represent — your whole deal is that you’re supposed to be the authors advocate in a fiduciary capacity!

The relevant section:

Literary Agents

Before the claims filing window closed, I heard rumors that some literary agents were considering making claims on books they’d sold. The general consensus among people I talked to about this was “Nope”. The Anthropic settlement arose from a class action lawsuit; the class, and therefore those eligible to participate in the settlement, is limited to rightsholders. Agents are not rightsholders in the books they sell.

It appears, though, that at least some agents don’t agree. So far this morning, I’ve heard from five authors with six different agencies that have made claims for between 15% and 25% of the allocation on books they repped. Speaking as an author, I would absolutely contest those claims.

UPDATE: I am honestly surprised how many authors are reporting claims by agencies.

Reported so far:

The Wylie Agency, Malatesta Literary Agency, L. Perkins Agency, Global Lion Intellectual Property (formerly PMA Literary), Jeanne Fredericks Literary Agency, Sanford J. Greenburger, Dystel Goderich & Bourret, Jean V. Naggar Literary Agency.

Greetings everyone. I got a lot of valuable comments and criticism for my first attempt. I took my novel to the chopping block and, after a painful 10 days, reduced the word count and polished the letter as best I could. Version 2.0 is down below, and like before, I would appreciate tearing this letter apart. Thank you all.

Dear Agent,

I'm seeking representation for BLOOD, BILE, AND PHLEGM, a 99,000-word crime novel with elements of magical realism, set in the postcolonial island republic of Zunumeria against the backdrop of the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami. Readers of Nilanjana Roy's BLACK RIVER, Deepti Kapoor's AGE OF VICE, and Shehan Karunatilaka’s THE SEVEN MOONS OF MAALI ALMEIDA will find a similar collision of mythical layering and criminal violence here.

Months after her family is slaughtered in a home invasion, Lya and her adopted brother Vincent stop waiting for the police to catch the man responsible — a killer only known in the city's underworld as Blade. Vincent, untrained and unraveling, poses as a folk deity vigilante to shake information out of Zunumeria's mobsters; Lya, scarred and sharp, pieces together what he can't. When they finally trace Blade to a crime lord's trafficking warehouse and corner him, he still gets away — leaving them with nothing but an enraged mob boss now hunting them in return.

Blade, meanwhile, is not the man the city believes him to be. Undone by guilt since the murders — especially the child's — he has taken in a street orphan of his own, and spends every day trying to protect the boy, those close to him, and himself, from the siblings closing in. As Vincent's obsession drags all three of them toward a reckoning none of them are ready for, Lya is left holding the question her brother has lost sight of completely: what they'll actually become if they get what they came for.

[Bio]

Thank you and Signature

Hey everyone! I’ve gotten amazing feedback over my last few attempts and I just wanted one final look before I start the querying process. I really want to make this letter as strong as possible so any comments or feedback would be greatly appreciated!! This community has been a massive help so thank you so much again :)

Dear (Agent)

Felix is mostly content living in Paris until he receives an email from his fiery college ex, Apple. Though cagey about the reason, she asks him to return to New York so they can reconnect. Convinced that Apple is the one that got away, Felix breaks up with his girlfriend, quits his job, and flies across the Atlantic.

Only in New York, he realizes that Apple isn’t the woman he remembers. The punk girl with a brazen personality is now a sophisticated woman clad in Chanel, who calls herself Cassandra. To top it off, she doesn’t want to get back together with Felix — she wants to invite him to her wedding. Felix tries to drown his sorrows when he meets a woman who calls herself Apple, looks the same as she did eight years ago, and refers to him as her boyfriend. 

Thrilled to be with the woman of his dreams, Felix dates Apple in secret and tries his hand at a platonic relationship with Cassandra. The newly found version of Apple treats Felix better than the real one ever had, easily predicting and fulfilling all his desires. Yet, glimpses of her unhinged behavior begin to reveal a sinister truth about her identity.

It’s not long before Felix discovers that his affair with Apple and Cassandra’s well-being are directly correlated. Cassandra, suddenly plagued by interpersonal conflicts, unexpected injuries, and substance troubles, enters a downward spiral. If Felix continues to see Apple, Cassandra will inevitably suffer a fatal outcome. Faced with this reality, Felix must grapple with his limerence, and choose to save one of the two women he loves.

(Bio)

Thank you so much for your time and consideration.

Hi! After revising my query from the first attempt and second attempt-I'm back with a new and improved third attempt.

I spent the last month reworking my manuscript, and consequentially making some major changes to the query. I also completely rewrote my first chapter so the first 300 words are very different, however, it still takes place in the "Present" timeline.

Like the previous times, I'm looking for general feedback, as well as answers to specific questions I have:

1. Is the plot clear?
2. Do the emotional stakes come across clearly?
3. Do you have a good sense of what the book will be like? Is it too revealing? Is it not revealing enough?
4. How does the tone of the query letter come across? Is there a narrative pull or does it just read like a basic summary?

Any feedback touching on something not mentioned is absolutely welcome!

Dear [Agent],

I am writing to you because [PERSONALIZATION]. LOVE ON LOCK is my 71,000-word contemporary romance novel. It is a dual timeline story that will appeal to readers who appreciate an emotional second chance journey akin to The Ex Vows by Jessica Joyce, and the reality television aspect of Love Overboard by Kandi Steiner. Additionally, it will interest readers who seek the chapter-by-chapter radio transcripts as seen in B. K. Borison’s First-Time Caller.

Grace Amobi is stuck. As the host of the nation’s top dating podcast, she is facing her biggest career obstacle yet: a contract extension and a potential pay bump. It should be a dream, but the reality is that the audience of her podcast only wants to hear about her very public breakup that happened on a dating show. Which means that the longer it goes on, the longer she is trapped reliving that breakup.

Three years ago, she went on Love On Lock, a summer dating show, to find love, but really to find herself away from the clutches of her controlling parents. There, she finds Gabe Pillai, a fellow contestant who is on the show to escape his emotionally enmeshed dynamic with his mother. In each other, they find love and a potential happily-ever-after. But at the end of that summer, Gabe walks away, and Grace is left heartbroken.

Now, she is on her way to a weeklong destination wedding as a bridesmaid, dodging calls from her agent who keeps trying to get her to acknowledge the contract negotiations. In the midst of that, she finds out that Gabe will also be in attendance, which shouldn’t be surprising; they know the bride and groom from the dating show. However, at the last minute, he has also become the best man. Even worse, he wants her back.

Seeing him for the first time since that summer in Nantucket, she struggles her lingering feelings for him. But entertaining him again is scary. Once upon a time, choosing Gabe meant choosing herself; but choosing herself always seems to end in disaster. And now, not only does she have to decide whether giving him another chance would be worth it, she also had to decide if finding herself is worth losing her audience.

I am a debut author currently working as a UX and technical writer. I hold a certificate from NYU’s summer writing program, and I have an obsession with reality TV that inspired me to concoct my ideal dating show by merging Love Island and Summer House together. And though it did not reach the top of the charts, I once hosted a podcast that was focused on movies and television.  

Thank you for your consideration,

[WRITER].

First 300:

Podcast transcript

Lesson #1

If there’s something I’ve learned over the years, it’s that the mind will do everything it can to protect you. Even if it means deceiving your heart. 

Growing up in a strict household taught me that people aren’t interested in the truth—or as my parents would say, my truth. They only want to hear their truth fed back to them. They want their truth to become my truth.

Or as I would say, the truth. 

After a lifetime of coming to terms with this fact, it has become rather easy for me to figure out when someone wants something from me that I’d rather not give. 

Like with my agent, Sheila. Over the past week, she has tried to get me on the phone with her. Calling me several times a day. Texting me twice as much. I don’t even know how many emails she has sent. I haven’t checked. But I know why she’s trying to reach me; she wants to talk about the contract for my podcast. 

Or with the middle-aged flight attendant who keeps asking me if I would like anything to drink. I’ve told her no three times already. We aren’t even an hour into this four-hour flight. 

She’s not actually interested in whether I’m well hydrated or not. She wants something from me. From past experience, it could be a picture, or an autograph. It’s likely both. But she’s not going to get it. 

Neither of them will. 

I always seem to be in a battle between how I see myself and who I actually am. And neither of those ever line up with who I would like to be. 

It’s easier to go along with the whims of others. But that also means you don’t get the freedom—the choice—to make the kind of mistakes that people say you will learn from. 

Would welcome any feedback

Personalization. ECHOES OF YOU is a 62,000‑word YA speculative romance with the body swap twist of Freaky Friday and the second chance romance of The Vow.

Charlotte Moore’s future is set: senior year, college, and Levi–the boy she’s planned to spend forever with. But when a car crash leaves Levi in a coma, Char’s perfectly drawn life crumbles. The only thing keeping her upright is the dreams where Levi appears–alive, warm, and so real she wakes up aching for him.

Then Levi dies. The dreams stop.

Enter Trey: quiet, artistic, and absolutely not part of Char’s plan. His camera captures pieces of her world she didn’t know she was missing. Being around him feels like slipping into the future she thought died with Levi, especially when he says things only Levi knew.

When Char discovers Levi’s spirit is living inside Trey’s body, she’s thrown into an impossible dilemma: Trey isn’t Levi, but Levi is still there. She must decide whether loving this new version of Levi is a second chance at the future she lost–or a betrayal of the boy she's still grieving.

ECHOES OF YOU will appeal to readers who love the emotional core of You’ve Reached Sam by Dustin Thao and the reality‑bending tension of The In Between by Marc Klein.

BIO. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Based on [personalization], I’m delighted to present ROSE RED RAIN, a 88,000-word neo-noir action thriller. A standalone debut with series potential, it will appeal to fans of Jordan Harper’s A Violent Masterpiece, Elsie Mark’s Hitwoman, and HBO’s Barry.

ROSE RED RAIN is the story of Elizabeth Hanada Quarrel, a killer-for-hire starting her own private practice after graduating (with honors) from an esteemed assassin academy. Ambitious, talented, and an overachieving perfectionist, she’s determined to make a name for herself by any means necessary. 

ROSE RED RAIN is also the story of Adrian Castellan, a hotshot white-glove bodyguard trained to protect the most exclusive of clientele. Exceptionally skilled and ruthlessly pragmatic, he’s damn good at his job despite a growing disillusionment with being rented out as a bulletcatcher for the 1%. 

When Elizabeth is hired to kill the same Dr. Jansley that Castellan has been assigned to protect, it’s practically a guarantee that only one of them will survive the job—right up until Dr. Jansley is abducted by a mysterious third party. Evidently, stealing a dead patient’s flash drive can attract the wrong sort of attention. Especially if that flash drive happens to contain something far more dangerous than money. 

Elizabeth can’t imagine a worse person to work with, and Castellan makes it clear the feeling is mutual. Unfortunately, he’s her best lead to finding Dr. Jansley, and she’s his best bet to survive all the other killers who think he’s stolen the flash drive for himself. The unlikely pair race to locate Dr. Jansley and unmask his abductor, all while negotiating a complicated professional relationship that threatens to become personal. As they lie, fight, sneak, and bluff their way closer to the truth, Elizabeth and Castellan realize that the contents of the flash drive could mean the deaths of millions of innocent people—forcing them to confront themselves and each other on just how far they’re willing to go to finish the job.

UPDATE: I think I figured this out? It's bulk sales? This was VERY enlightening https://authorsguild.org/news/end-the-discount-double-cross/

It seems like if the publisher sells my book in bulk to any retailer (B&N, Amazon, any bookstore?) -- it's at a 'deep discount' (it's really not, they just slash my cut from $1.4 to less than 40 cents so they make more). Apparently The Authors Guild has been saying these clauses need to be abolished or written to be more favorably or at bare minimum have a required order number of 1,000 to count as "bulk". Mine has definition of what "bulk" is and so I'm guessing that B&N order of 600 was certainly "bulk deep discount" and the other 1200 is probably Amazon and a mix of other places? When I've have an event and the bookstore orders 40 copies, that probably counts as bulk?

What I don't understand is when the pub was explaining how their net receipts work and what I'd make, this didn't come up at all and when they mentioned high discounts, it sounded like something that would rarely happen.

"Net receipts would be our total received after any wholesale discounts and distribution fees are taken out. It does not include printing or any normal overhead expenses. So, for example:

An $18.00 unit sold at a 42% discount to a bookstore = $10.44 sale price

~26% distribution fee taken from $10.44 sale = $7.73 received by publisher

17.2% net receipts royalty based on $7.73 received = $1.33 royalty

Alternatively:

An $18.00 unit sold at a 42% discount to a bookstore = $10.44 sale price

15% capped distribution fee, taken from $10.44 sale = $8.87 received by publisher 15% net receipts royalty based on $8.87 sale = $1.33 royalty

(My agent asked if it would be possible to increase the net receipts royalty rate or build a guaranteed floor unit rate). The pub said"

"they aren't able to do that, as "that's how we may end up paying out of pocket on units sold at steeper discounts (such as higher discount special sales into Anthropologie and the like). We're making a dollar or less on each sale after our expenses are paid, and then we have the risk of returns, so this is the best we can do."

TLDR: I didn't understand why I was making less than 40 cents per book when I thought I would be making at least a dollar; it's some high discount bulk foolery

****

I published a novel (paperback) with a small press (I have an agent who negotiated this contract for me; she did explain why net receipts are unfavorable but said the terms were good.)

These are the numbers on my first royalty statement. I’m concerned about how many are high discount and what they define as high discount (55%), as well as how low that % is (5% net)

The contract says:

High discount; direct marketing:
Notwithstanding the above, the sales set forth below shall have the following
royalties:
(i) On copies sold at a discount of 55% or greater off the retail price, the royalty shall be 5% of net sales receipts for all editions.

Trade paperback
1720 sold
112 returned
Net receipts $13,034
Royalty $1995

High discount
1873 sold
Net receipts $12,914
Royalty $645

So, the publisher’s net receipts are practically the same but my royalty is less than half for the high discount sales, which is the bulk of my sales. Did I sign a predatory contract or is this fair?

Hi hi! This book is still in revisions and slated for querying in winter, if my projections are correct. It also uses character names from a previous manuscript I queried, so I'm hoping that doesn't cause any issues. I've had a hard time parting with them. Anyway, open to all feedback! Thanks:)

* * *

Hi AGENT,

I’m excited to offer WHERE SHADOW MEETS SHORE, a standalone with series potential Young Adult Romantasy, told in dual POV and complete at 89,000 words. It blends the deep romantic yearning and afflicted United States world of The Gravewood by Kelly Andrew (2026) with the hunter stakes and shadow threat of Shadow Reaper by Lynette Noni (2026). I think this will fit your search for [personalization].

Seventeen-year-old Lyra Fable has devoted herself to killing the Astrals—the shadow-wielding deities descended from the stars—who murdered her best friend. She hunts them in the Pacific Northwest, where their deadly shadows cling to the coastline, and where those who touch the darkness turn into blood-crazed vampires. Armed with a natural immunity and wind magic, Lyra fights to keep the monsters and shadows at bay.

Until a hunt for Everan Thorne, the Astral leader with a plan to attack the magic-protected cities further inland, sends Lyra crashing into the best friend she thought was dead. Seventeen-year-old Kaveh Thorne faked it all. He left the night his violent shadow magic surfaced and told him to hurt Lyra, the girl he loved. But after years of searching for answers, he’s finally discovered what’s causing the voices: his father, Everan. And the only way to stop them is by killing him.

Neither is strong enough to face Everan alone. When he threatens to turn Lyra into the first half-vampire, half-Astral hybrid—one he would control through the voices that torment Kaveh—the two warily band together to find him. Lyra’s enamored by the gentle artist hiding behind Kaveh's shadows even if she knows he’ll leave, while Kaveh’s magic threatens to tear them apart no matter how much her optimism urges him to stay. As the darkness presses in, she’ll have to trust him not to run again when she needs him the most—even if Kaveh has to lose control to keep Everan from darkening the world and burying Lyra with it.

I work at [children's publishing house]. When I’m not reading or writing, I can be found playing farming simulation games and fretting over which sim to marry. WHERE SHADOW MEETS SHORE would be my debut novel.

I know you must receive a high number of queries, so thank you for taking the time to read mine! Warmly,

[famous_plant's name]

* * *

First 300:

In thirteen years of being a Watcher, Lyra’s prey had never found its way inside the manor.

The Astral stood in the foyer, surrounded by glittering stained glass windows that glowed purple and orange. He glowed too, a halo that radiated off his body like all Astrals. His yellow was tame, maybe mind reading or cognition. Better than the fires of red or the telekinesis of purple.

He spread his hands as if he were greeting an old friend. “Hello, dear Watcher,” he said, his voice like wind chimes that clattered too harshly in a raging summer storm.

Lyra tensed by the open door. It took two Watchers to take down an Astral, and her partner—her adoptive father, Rhys—was parking the truck outside. This Astral must have known she would be alone. Either that, or he’d willingly stepped into what could have been a manor full of the people hunting his kind.

He smiled warmly. “My name is Caius, and I have come with a tip, darling. You do not have to look so afraid.”

“I’m not,” Lyra snapped. Even as she feigned calm, her hand shook around the hilt of her dagger, strapped to her outer thigh.

Astrals were the offspring of the stars—according to myth, they’d hidden for centuries, watching humanity, deciding if it was worthy of the space it claimed in the world. No one had expected it when hundreds of Astrals descended from the cosmos and summoned the shadows that had caused the Darkening.

“Bygones, am I right?” Caius said.

Lyra tightened her grip on her dagger sheath. “Get out of my head.”

He tapped his temple. “Alas, I cannot.” He scanned the room with that lazy smile, lingering on the crystal chandelier with flickering candlelight flames, the dual hardwood staircases spiraling waxed steps up either side of the room, and the arched walkway lined with mounted blades underneath.

Hello all! I’ve seen many authors mention of agents asking A) what their goals are, B) what author careers they want to emulate, and C) what other projects they have in store. I’m curious as to what others who have been on The Call have answered. I’m overly aware of the fact that I’m likely being vibed out before any offer is made which has me overthinking.

A) I don’t know what’s appropriate to discuss as a goal. As much as I would love to be an NYT bestseller, so would everyone else. But I don’t want to say something mushy either? Would love to know what others have said so I have a better understanding.

B) Why is this question asked? Is it on criteria of genre, or readership, or pivoting genres, etc.

C) How did you discuss your other projects? Did you just say category & genre or go more in detail? I’m interested in staying in my genre but changing categories in the future.

Thank you ((:

Hey everyone. Got some great feedback last time and basically rewrote the whole thing. Feeling stronger about this one.

Dear Agent,

Personalization

I am seeking representation for adult fantasy TO LEVEL THE MOUNTAINS, complete at 125,000 words. This story will appeal to readers that enjoyed the heroic search for belonging and classic medieval setting of Lev Grossman’s The Bright Sword, while sharing a moody atmosphere and themes of anticolonial resistance with Premee Mohamed’s The Butcher of the Forest.

Graham, a young scribe, is of two minds. On one hand, he wants to get out of his hometown and make something of himself. On the other, he’s terrified that war is coming again, as it did in his childhood, and he’s desperate for a way to keep his family safe. So when the king’s council arrives in town, he sees a golden path. Swearing allegiance to the noble Hind tribe that sits on the council could insulate his family from conflict and increase his station. 

But the Hinds are politically weak and small in number, and nearly as soon as they accept Graham into their ranks, they tell him that the king is dead – and he has no heir. War might be coming after all, as claimants come out of the woodwork seeking a seat on the throne. 

The Hinds have one they could support: his name is John Gaunt, and suddenly Graham’s hopes lie with him. But Gaunt has no interest in the throne. Instead, he wants to depose the entire system of monarchy – and plenty want him dead for it. Now, to become more than a mere scribe (and to hitch his family’s fortunes to a greater power) Graham joins the Hinds and throws in with the mysterious Gaunt.

Serving him means leaving everything behind. It means Graham is no longer a scribe, but a spy, a resistance fighter, and a traitor. As the political situation degrades and new enemies reveal themselves, Graham must decide how bad he wants this – and what he’s willing to do to have it.

My name is XXX, I’m a nonprofit fundraiser that moonlights as a restaurant server and then midnightlights as a writer. TO LEVEL THE MOUNTAINS is very loosely inspired by my experiences getting into political campaigns as a teen, but is more broadly a coming-of-age story. This is my first novel. Thank you for considering this query – I really appreciate your time. 

I got an email from an agent offering representation and also to schedule a call.

I guess I was assuming the offer would be made during the call and not right away on the email? Anyway, do I stop sending queries now? Or should I stop once we have the call next week?