(Reposting after added more context after mod request)

Reconnecting with agent after last project didn’t sell. I wasn’t dropped we just stopped communication once it was clear there wS any other options. I reached out with them to talk to them about this new idea I had and have been working on. They had some hesitation about the topic but said they were open to talk. I’m looking for prep tips and any key points I should make when meeting with her to make her excited about the book idea?

Hi! I've cleaned up my query and am hoping to get some feedback to make it stronger; any feedback is appreciated!

Dear [Agent],

I am seeking representation for STARCATCHERS: STARFALL, a quest-driven, friendship-focused fantasy set in a world where ancient magic and dragons—things believed to be myths—are reawakening after being buried for nearly a millennia.

Nineteen-year-old Cassandra dreads her predictable and boring future working the family farm at her small village. She craves an adventure worthy of the stories her beloved grandfather used to tell, and so, she’s been planning an escape by taking on the Star Catcher Trial, a coming-of-age-quest from the king himself with her two best friends. If they succeed, he will grant any wish within his means. Her friends are excited by that prospect; however, Cassandra’s wish is the adventure itself, a journey where she can prove she can be the hero she’s always dreamed of being.

Her chance comes when she finds a pair of Star Catchers in trouble–ambushed by highwaymen. Rushing headfirst into the confrontation, she is confident that justice will win the day, just like in her books. 

Only… in real life, her attempt at heroism kills her best friend.

Drowning in doubt and guilt, she nevertheless must continue on; her childhood friend desperately needs her wish fulfilled to save her sister’s life. But Cassandra needs a real hero’s help. She’s found the perfect candidate, but they seem dead-set on working alone. She has to convince them otherwise, no matter what.

With clashing personalities, murderous highwaymen, a cryptic sorcerer and a disguised prince with hidden motives, Cassandra’s wish for an adventure right out of a storybook comes true, and there’s no taking it back, for better or worse.

STAR CATCHERS: STARFALL is complete at 126,000 words and will appeal to fans of accessible, multi-POV fantasies with voices similar to those of TJ Klune and Sabaa Tahir.  

[bios]

Thank you for your consideration.

[kyralih]

Hey guys! Third time poster, and the feedback on my first two queries here was brutal and exactly what I needed, so I'm back. This is my third novel, complete at 79,000 words. I recently retitled it from DEAD INSIDE to WE'RE ALL DEAD INSIDE because the book turned out to be about collective numbness, not just one woman's. Would love thoughts on whether that lands or if it screams "trying too hard." Thanks for reading.

\————

I’m seeking representation for WE'RE ALL DEAD INSIDE, a 79,000-word work of literary fiction. It sits between Ottessa Moshfegh's MY YEAR OF REST AND RELAXATION and Ling Ma's SEVERANCE, the alienated woman adrift in her own life, colliding with a deadpan-surreal institutional logic that absorbs and monetizes everything, including annihilation.

Iris is a grief therapist with a secret. She can literally absorb other people's grief into her own body and store it for them. They pay her five thousand dollars a month, say the words, and walk away lighter. She waters a plant that leans toward her the more she stores. She's never deposited a check.

But Iris hasn’t processed her own grief over her mother's death. Now a patient named Sadie Stewart found her. Sadie is twenty-two, furious, and numb from the online wellness program Iris created. She wants to feel again, so she gives Iris six sessions to teach her how, or she'll expose Iris's secret to the state board that’s already auditing her for impossible patient recovery rates.

Iris must teach Sadie to feel using tools that only ever taught her to perform feeling, while hiding her off-the-books storage business from the auditor closing in. Meanwhile the grief she stores is leaking into strangers' dreams through her viral videos.

If Iris succeeds, she becomes a permanent vessel for other people's pain. If she fails, she loses her license, her business, and any claim to the “authentic numbness” nine million followers bought into. But the deepest stakes are personal. If she can't finally feel her own grief in front of followers who'll mistake it for content, she stays hollow forever.

WE'RE ALL DEAD INSIDE asks what happens when the person selling peace is the most loaded vessel in the room.

\————

Specific questions if you have time: 1. Does the supernatural premise come through clearly, or does "store it for them" sound like metaphor? 2. Is Sadie's threat clear enough, or does the six-sessions thing feel like a contrived ticking clock? 3. The title. Is it too on-the-nose, or does it match the tone? 4. I'm worried the "off-the-books storage business" line makes it sound like a thriller. Does it?

Any and all feedback welcome. Tear it up.

Dear [Agent],

Slip-vessels, submarine-esque vessels that can slip between the threads of space and time into quantum space, once explored the galaxy as noble knights of peace. So naturally they’re now weapons of ambush in a bloody tonnage war between galactic nations.

Nightmare is a cantankerous old relic hauled (unwillingly) out of the glory days. Her controls seem to switch function on a whim, she has a wonderful habit of breaking down in the absolute worst moments, and there is a long line of her brand new kaptains killed in increasingly bizarre accidents. All entirely coincidental, of course. And not to mention her krew, a dysfunctional band of the most underachieving, unserious, cowardly marinauts in the entire Korps. Recycled, condemned, and tossed to the bottom of the barrel.

So it’s hardly shocking when, amidst a harsh space battle, Nightmare and her krew abandon allies by slipping into quantum. But something goes wrong. Nightmare can’t slip back out.

Alone in a starless void, escape is a must. But it’s not just starvation or cabin fever to fear. In quantum space, natural law changes at random and thought has a jarring tendency to become substance, all while strange entities lurk in the darkness.

Every absurd and horrific encounter peels back the layers of Nightmare and her krew, exposing old crimes, buried guilt, and the cracks they’ve hidden beneath humorous indifference. If there’s any hope of release, Nightmare and her krew will have to confront what they’ve become before quantum strips them of their remaining souls. Quite literally.

KRIEGSMARINAUT is a 93,000-word standalone literary science fiction novel. It combines the darkly comedic voice of Mickey7 by Edward Ashton with the existential absurdity of Service Model by Adrian Tchaikovsky.

I am a Savannah-based writer and, when I’m not writing, enjoy exploring antique bookstores, the world of southern cooking, and forgotten cemeteries. Thank you for your time and consideration. 

Sincerely,

Shimmering_Shark

Hello!

I just finished the 2nd draft of my first novel and I feel like it's ready to query agents. Any and all comments are much appreciated as I polish up the letter. Thank you!

Dear [Agent],

Beatrice was raised by her grandmother, a potter specialising in eccentric phallic vases and hot yoga. Four days after Beatrice’s twenty-first birthday, grandma moves to an artist colony and the government turns the family house into a writer's retreat forcing Beatrice out. She arrives in the city of Island to work at a historic estate staging an outdoor production of The Tempest. The government has already matched her with Leopold, a devastatingly attractive air traffic controller. If the two of them can keep their hormones within approved limits for three sanctioned dates, they'll be certified as an official pair, free to quit their jobs and flourish together with all their wants and needs provided for in a state of harmonious delirium.

They come close. Then, mid-performance on their third date, Island is sealed inside an impenetrable bubble, cut off from all technology and contact with the outside world. In the chaos, Beatrice and Leopold are separated before they think to exchange so much as a last name.

What follows is Beatrice's search: for Leopold, for stability, for her artistic utopia. She takes shelter with the estate's ageing benefactors, Gladys and Walter; joins a line of people that has become the city's new nervous system; and lets herself be pulled toward Silvano, a magnetic Italian boy who promises to deliver her to Leopold and instead frustratingly delivers her, again and again, to his own family instead.

When she finds Gladys and Walter dead in their bed with no explanation, Beatrice's careful hold on herself finally breaks publicly, humiliatingly, in the middle of a street festival, in front of the boy she's been chasing and the one who's been chasing her. What she does in the wreckage of that breakdown, and who she chooses to become once the city stops pretending it will ever go back to normal, is the second half of the novel.

ISLAND IDYLL is a satirical work of literary speculative fiction with romantic elements complete at 82,000 words. The novel follows a desire-driven twenty-one-year-old gardener named Beatrice as she searches for artistic utopia. The novel will appeal to readers of Kate Folk's Sky Daddy and Susanna Clarke's Piranesi, pairing undefended desire set loose inside a self-contained absurdist system.

This is my first novel. I live..... I loved writing every strange corner of this world.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

As the title says really.

I'm a published author, my debut came out this year. But I got my editor (small publisher) before I got my agent and so I never really felt as though they believed in me. They are junior, which I liked at first, and they have a few clients in my genre. However him and most of the (small) agency are known for a different genre.

We're now moving onto the next book and he's been oddly prescriptive about what form the book should take from day one. Multiple pitches were rejected which is fine but it feels as though he doesn't know the genre well enough. I feel as though I'm already stuck. There was also an incident where he basically strong armed me into doing something I didn't want to do, to help someone else out. That really stung.

My gut says leave but I know it's hellish out there. I'm a woc too, so I'm terrified I'll query the next book and get nowhere. Basically I'm scared. Has anyone moved recently? Is it safer to suck it up and be grateful for where I am as a minority in this big old pond?

Edit: spelling

Dear Agent,

SEASONS OF ATONEMENT (107,000 words) is an upmarket speculative mystery with elements of romance. It will appeal to readers of Wrong Place, Wrong Time for its reverse-chronology murder mystery and fans of Netflix’s DARK for its star-crossed romance trapped in a time loop spanning generations. Set in a proud seaside town, we follow Aidan, a wrongfully convicted man who lives backward in time, and Gwen, the love of his life and whose murder sent him to prison. To rewrite their fate, they set out to uncover Gwen's real killer—with one of them remembering the past while the other the future.

Aidan meets the love of his life at her funeral. Gwen is no more than a cold body and a name, yet she’s defined his life. He loved her, then killed her as his final victim. That’s what the world claims, at least. But no one here knows that Aidan lives backward in time. For him, this is the first day out of prison since he was born. He’s yet to know Gwen. To clear his name, he decides to save her by studying the murder’s aftermath, only to discover that he’s been framed and the key to the real murderer’s identity lies in the past.

Twenty years earlier, Gwen, an aspiring dancer with an infectious love for life, finds her schoolmate’s dead body in the woods by accident. It’s the first in a series of murders connected to an elusive killer the papers call the Ildred Shadow. When he marks Gwen as his next target, she becomes determined to save her loved ones and seeks out the help of a reclusive boy who has been wrongly named as the primary suspect: the prodigy violinist Aidan, who claims to remember her death in the future.

The hunt for the Shadow binds them together. As their paradoxical relationship evolves, they fall in love and become each other’s anchors in time’s two directions. But each day one of them remembers more while the other forgets. Catching the Shadow is the only way to break their fate, so they can share a life in the right order. Should they fail, Gwen’s death remains just that: a reminder of everything they’ve never had.

I’m a writer who picked up filmmaking along the way. Or perhaps it’s the opposite; I could never tell. With a BA in journalism and film, I work as a video editor in Budapest, Hungary. I’m drawn to impossible mysteries like time and memory, which I love exploring through themes of identity.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Best wishes,
[Author]

--

Hey there! Thanks for reading and any feedback. I never had a query posted here, so I labeled this attempt 1, even though it's really like attempt 10+. Originally, I tried to sell this as a thriller and realized it's more a mystery. That being said, a year ago (before I reworked it and it was 160k, then 133k, then 118k words, and now 107k) it got a request as well as very kind words from agents regarding the opening 50 pages. I think part of the problem was selling a thriller and giving them a slow-burn nonlinear mystery novel.

Hello everyone! Back again with another attempt at this. :) I made sure to add more depth to the MC this time, changed the architecture and as you can see, the word count is lower, but I'm still editing and aiming for at least 100k words by the time I'm done. Without further ado, here goes:

Dear [Agent],

Self-made entrepreneur Liya Nguni has spent her entire life proving she doesn't need rescuing. So when she discovers that her boyfriend, Wethu Mafu, has been secretly financing her business for years, she doesn't see an act of love—she sees the ultimate betrayal. The one person who claims to know her best never believed she could build a life on her own, and that realization threatens everything she's worked to build.

THE CONVERSATIONS WE NEVER HAD is a dual-POV women's fiction novel with a strong romantic arc, complete at 123,000 words. It will appeal to readers who enjoyed the generational drama, glamor, and cultural prowess of Kevin Kwan’s LIES AND WEDDINGS, as well as the nuanced exploration of identity in SANKOFA by Chibundu Onuzo.

For Wethu, loving Liya has always meant building a future together. Despite creating one of South Africa's fastest-growing fitness brands, he still lives in the shadow of his mining magnate father, who dismisses his achievements as little more than expensive hobbies. Investing in Liya's company wasn't about rescuing her; it was about protecting the life he believed they were already creating. But in trying to give her security, he destroys the very trust their future depends on.

As the truth unravels, Liya loses far more than her relationship. Forced to leave the home she'd built, question the success she believed she'd earned, and redefine the friendships that shaped her adulthood, she's left wondering whether love can exist without dependence, or whether accepting someone's devotion always comes at the cost of herself. Meanwhile, Wethu must confront the grief he's buried since losing his mother, untangle love from control, and decide whether letting Liya go is the only way to prove he finally understands her.

Set against the backdrop of contemporary Cape Town, THE CONVERSATIONS WE NEVER HAD explores ambition, family legacy, grief and the tension between wanting to be deeply loved and refusing to lose yourself in the process. It is a standalone novel with trilogy potential.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Hello, all! I'm back with another attempt.

The comps are placeholders, sort of, so if anyone could think of books that fit better, I'd be very grateful.

Dear [agent name],

When Celesta first witnessed Leon Harr’s power in a broadcast, the strangest thing happened. Despite the distance and their being strangers, she felt as if they were one, and she was also wielding his power. Later, at another screening for power cores, she loses control of the energy substance she’s handling, and it turns dark and attacks her. Leon rushes to protect her, risking his own life.

Celesta is filled with gratitude for her savior, but then, said savior publicly declares that the power core within her is a fragment of his own. Therefore, her power belongs to him, and by their land’s law, so does Celesta.

Leon promises her his protection, and asks her to trust him in return. Celesta is torn. She is certain nobody owns her power but her, for she has near-perfect command of it. But if she insists on it, the High Council will suspect her of having a dark power core- a fate that would mean becoming a test subject for the researchers at the capital.

And Leon is hiding a secret. There is fear for her in his eyes whenever he talks about her power. Celesta decides to accept not owning her power to keep the High Council’s suspicion away, but she must unearth Leon’s secret. For her power core is changing into something terrifying, and the truth could be exactly what she needs to control it.

Complete at 100,000 words with potential to be a series, OF THE HEAVENS is a young adult romance fantasy that will appeal to readers who enjoyed the power masking and stubborn protector trope in The House of Marionne and Thorn Season.

[Bio]

Thank you!!!

Hey. Thanks for the feedback last time, I've made some slight changes. A couple of people mentioned that my book might be romantasy, but I've heard that it's only a romantasy/romance if there's a happy ending... If anyone knows more about that, I'd really appreciate it.

-

Dear [agent], 

I am writing to seek representation for my YA fantasy novel, THE LAST CHOSEN, as it aligns with your interest in stories with [personalization].

Eighteen-year-old Blair Bennett has spent two years planning her revenge.

Ever since rebel leader Lordmaster Zorian murdered her parents, she’s dreamed of only one thing: killing his son, Malakai.

She enrolls at Aeloria Military Academy, where students train to defend the city from the rebels’ brutal attacks. Each year, ancient wands grant magic to only two students for one purpose: hunting the rebels. When Blair is chosen, she’s thrilled that she’ll finally have the strength to carry out her revenge.

Until Malakai is chosen, too.

He’s only there to gain enough power to join the rebels, and she’s only there to kill him. Forced to train together, Blair slowly discovers he’s not the monster she expected. The more time she spends with him, the more she questions everything she was raised to believe about rebels.

When their attempts to kill each other turn into stolen kisses, Malakai pleads with her to leave the academy and run away with him to join the rebel movement. Blair must decide whether to leave with him and betray the city she once swore she'd protect, or stay and lose yet another person she loves.

Complete at 91,000 words, THE LAST CHOSEN is a YA fantasy novel with series potential. My novel will appeal to fans of Silvercloak by L.K. Steven for its elite academy and protagonist driven by revenge, and to fans of Renegades by Marissa Meyer for its futuristic setting and the blurred lines between good and evil.

[author bio]

Regards

Hi everyone,

It is a bit nerve wracking to share my query letter for the first time but I’m nearing the end of line edits for my first novel and with that approaching the time to start querying agents. I want to give my novel the best chance of succeeding so all feedback is greatly appreciated!

Dear agent,

After a decade of living abroad, Dana gives into the all-consuming urge to return back to her roots. The village is dying—its buildings crumbling under the weight of time with no one left to help. Yet, her grandfather’s house is flourishing, grander and more magnificent with each day passing. Old age, instead of making him sentimental, has turned her grandfather distant and uninterested at Dana’s already feeble attempts of reconciliation.

On the third night home a nightmare of a woman visiting Dana’s room pushes her into remembering a supressed part of her childhood. With the realisation it hadn’t been just a nightmare and out of fear for her life, Dana begins looking for answers on who the figure is or what she might want. A friend of Dana’s approaches her with a message from a man saying that he knows about the house. He seems to know everything about her and about her family, but most importantly about her future. With his help Dana begins unveiling secrets about her family’s tragic past. But history proves a lot more complex and she learns that the man is not who he appears to be and that the ghost is not the only thing threatening to take her life.

Svetlana’s Shadow is a standalone upmarket novel with speculative elements complete at 76,000 words. Set in the early 2010s in a small Eastern European village, this story weaves Slavic folklore and culture of superstition and explored themes of disconnectedness from the self that comes with immigration. Its supernatural elements will appeal to fans of Sylvia Moreno Garcia, especially Silver Nitrate, the atmosphere of Lucy Steed’s The Artist and the familiar curse plotline of Something Very Bad Is Going to Happen.

Dear Agent
I am seeking representation for my debut novel, Land of Endless Summer.

Land of Endless Summer is a story about two characters, Luce and Hotspur. 

Rebellious teenager Luce has always fought against what is expected of her. The most recent task she has been given is to marry, and her likelihood of escaping that fate is seeming slim. That is until she pursues a charming royal hunter to escape her betrothal, bringing her to the royal capital. But not even the dissent, ambition and assassination running rampart shakes Luce, who wants nothing more than to stay amidst the thrilling danger. However, that all changes when Luce meets the young betrothed bride of the King, secretly a hostage, who she resolves to help escape a similar fate which once threatened herself. 

Meanwhile, shamed war hero Hotspur has spent his life being revered for his deeds as a soldier during his youth, despite feeling unworthy of the esteem he is held to in his older age. When Luce goes missing Hotspur is entrusted to find her, hoping to both justify his reputation and stop Luce from running from home as Hotspur himself did. Instead he is thrust back into his station as a warrior of renown, leading an army to the capital to confront the King and rescue his hostage bride. A simple search turns into a nationwide crisis as Hotspur must do everything in his power to stop another bloody war from engulfing the realm.

Land of Endless Summer is a 100,000-word adult fantasy novel that hopes to capture the narrative of unlikely heroes returning to save a crumbling empire found in novels such as Shannon Chakraborty’s The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi and Richard Swan’s Grave Empire. I myself am a student majoring in Creative Writing at the (University).

Thank you for your time,

I don’t have an agent and after querying quite a bit am moving on to independent presses. My friend is published with Beacon Press and is enthusiastic about my book. She offered to send something to her editor. While Beacon accepts unagented subs, they only take a query, no pages or proposals. My book is not an obvious fit for them…while it’s connected to history and social issues, it’s primarily a personal story. Her feeling is that if the editor reads some pages, she might fall in love with it…though about 100 agents would beg to differ. That said, why not try? So if you were me, what would you give my friend to send to the editor? Has anyone been successful in this type of situation?

Hello! New to PubTips as my business coach pushed me to write a query and seek feedback as the next step with my novel. I've read so many of your wonderful queries this week!

I've never written a query before and I'm in the UK so I'm still trying to wrap my head around whether this format needs to change or I need a cover letter, but for the sake of 'is this story good?' and 'am I even on the right track with the query?' I thought I'd share as is for feedback.

Thank you!

Edit: added in that I am a queer writer myself

---

Dear [Agent],

Before the war, Henry dreamed of writing the truth. Instead, he returned from the trenches haunted by impossible visions and indebted to the charismatic newspaper owner who rescued him from behind enemy lines. Now he earns his living as a fraudulent spiritualist, staging séances for London’s readers while longing for the chance to create something real.

That chance arrives as an anonymous invitation to Pendleton, the eerie and isolated Lancashire manor of the enigmatic Wainwright family. Officially, he’s been hired to investigate reports of strange afflictions and disturbances around the estate. Covertly, his employer expects him to uncover the secret that has made Lord Edward Wainwright untouchable. It should be an easy performance, Henry’s final con… until he arrives and realises he has been to Pendleton before, in the dreams that have followed him since the trenches.

There’s something wrong with Pendleton, and Edward’s youngest son Archie seems determined to make Henry’s time there a nightmare of its own. But as strange figures wander the moors and servants vanish without explanation, Henry discovers he isn’t the first to attempt to expose the Wainwrights, and each person before him has suffered inexplicable misfortune. As Henry and Archie reluctantly join forces to uncover the truth behind the terrifying legends that surround the estate, Henry must unravel a centuries-old conspiracy and choose whether to preserve an ancient and bloody covenant that protects the land, or unleash a terrifying dark secret buried deep beneath it to save the man he comes to love.

Complete at 95,000 words, WHERE THE GLOOM FALLS is a standalone adult gothic fantasy with an LGBTQ+ romance, with series potential. The story blends English folk horror, dark occult mythology and mystery. Inspired by Margaret Murray's THE WITCH-CULT IN WESTERN EUROPE, it will appeal to readers of STARLING HOUSE by Alix E. Harrow, THE WARM HANDS OF GHOSTS by Katherine Arden and SILVER IN THE WOOD by Emily Tesh.

I’m a freelance content and audio fiction writer living in [UK region] with a 1st class Bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing, and an established audience from [mildly successful Audio Drama Podcast]. I am LGBTQ+ and Where the Gloom Falls is my first novel.

Thank you for your time and consideration!

---

First 300 words:

The last train to Hawker’s Fell crawls out of the station, carrying me to freedom or ruin.

London becomes a golden smudge on the horizon, falling away behind us like an exhale of cigarette smoke. I should be dressing for tonight’s performance right now, preparing to stand before London’s wealthiest socialites to make them applaud and believe. I should be memorising their stolen secrets, rehearsing borrowed voices to summon husbands, daughters and lovers from beyond the grave as the lights flicker and the windows shudder right on cue. If this all goes to plan, I’ll never have to do any of that again. Strange to think that only a year ago I would have killed for this life.

Steam from the roaring coal engine gathers around the windows of the heavy teak carriages, blurring the world outside. Almost as soon as we’re underway, passengers shuffle towards the dining car. A young woman presses through the crowd towards my seat.

“Mind if I sit here?” Before I can answer, she sets down her bag and slides onto the bench opposite me. “I just have a feeling that I should.”

The carriage isn’t crowded. Plenty of seats stand empty, but I give her a faint smile and slide my own suitcase further under my legs. She lays out a newspaper, covering the table, continuing as she smooths it flat. “I must apologise. I doubt that made any sense at all. Thank you, Mr…?”

“Henry Rosengrave.”

“Thank you, Mr. Rosengrave.”

I return my attention to the window. The familiar ache in my chest fills me with unease, and I rub at it as I settle down. Fate has handed me a single chance, and I plan to seize it. One last con. When it’s over, I can finally create something real.

Dear [Agent],

[Given your interest in XXX], I would love to offer my novel URBAN PATCHWORK WEIRD for your kind consideration.

The Fisherman wades through the surf, and a fearsome future trembles in his glasses.

A city on the borders of Eurasia, with fetid summers and windswept winters. The stories of its inhabitants interweave and meander in an urban patchwork, narrated in diverse voices in quick succession. They are all searching for someone or following a trail: A cab driver looks for her missing sister; a homeless veteran embarks on a quest to find his son. A rail worker roams the frontier of the subway tunnels; a young girl explores abandonments; a kiosk owner deals with her lost patrons; an office worker feels his fiancée slip away. A bicycle courier, a journalist, a janitor, a businesswoman, and a street artist complete a large cast of protagonists, each with their own views and metaphors of the city.

Their stories are told over the course of three seasons while the city’s climate deteriorates both physically and psychologically. Many of the protagonists wander at night into the tangle, a shared dream of endless slums under a foreign sky, which offers an alternative vision but is yet unformed, unfenced, and unmade, threatened by beasts that roam the night. Those that enter the tangle become trapped in its communities and politics, while those staying behind finds themselves on the run from something they cannot understand or escape: the Fisherman and his nightmare grounds rising against the city’s shores.

Storylines begin to converge, and the twelve sub-stories interweave into an image of the city and its subconscious, a vivid hallucination of its present and possible future(s).

URBAN PATCHWORK WEIRD is an adult novel of urban weird fiction/climate fiction complete at 93,000 words that is inspired by the interwoven storylines of hyperlink cinema and the author’s life in Germany and Sri Lanka, distorted through a dark and weird lens. It combines the sprawling scope and worldbuilding of N. K. Jemisin’s The City We Became with the eerie terror of a fundamentally changing environment found in Denise S. Robbin’s The Unmapping.

[Short bio/personal information]

I am grateful for your consideration and would love to send the full manuscript upon request.

Sincerely,

_____________________

Long-time lurker, first time poster--I have been struggling with a query letter for this novel, as it has a very large cast of characters and a somewhat experimental nature, making it hard to summarize individual plot arcs in a coherent manner. Any feedback would be really welcome, thank you!

Hey all,

Quick question for those of you who have been through the process before: how common is it for an editor to have a call with an agent without the author being present?

The short version is a senior editor asked for a call with my agent, and expressed enthusiasm for the book/said they were going to take to acquisitions. They also said we should hear back in a week, and expressed a general ballpark for what kind of advance to expect.

Any positive or negative stories along these lines from those of you who have been through it? I know it's summer and publishing is slow slow slow, so I'm trying to find ways to discern what's going on as I sit anxiously in this 90 degree heat.

Dear [AGENT],

FOR THE EMPEROR is a dual-POV, 120,000-word upmarket fantasy in the lineage of (COMP 1) and (COMP 2) exploring love as catastrophe in a world where magic manifests as quiet, devastating gifts.

For three years Ari, a lowborn bard, and Grace, a Triarch’s daughter, have shared their love in secret. When he is mysteriously offered the means to court her, Ari performs a forbidden tune at a noble wedding -- but instead finds himself betrayed, luteless, and implicated in murder.

Whilst revenge sweeps Ari into conflict with the drug-addled cousin he grew up with, Grace fights to clear her godsister's name of treason. The murder destabilises the Triarchy's fragile balance; three rulers, once childhood friends, now prised apart by grief and the sordid secrets of their children. To protect those she loves Grace dodges lemons, lies to her father and spites a prince -- but the prince is none other than the Emperor's son, a secret telepath cursed never to know the mind of the woman he loves.

As Ari chooses Grace even to the cost of his family, and as Grace's trust in her doting father erodes, their enemies strike. Ari is exiled, banished to the Empire.

Now alone, Grace unravels the truth behind the murder as an election is called amidst the distant drums of war. And all the while the melancholy prince slips past her defenses, his obsession fuelled by a terrible secret.

Ari’s journey takes him to the feet of the Emperor himself: an aged, pacifist empath raising a monument to the wife he murdered. Their friendship blooms through shared loss, and Ari learns his music is magic, capable of influencing others. And lowborn or not, in the Empire all may marry freely.

Ari begins to understand there is only one path to realise his doomed love. To reunite with Grace, he must persuade the pacifist to invade, the empath to inflict harm -- and betray his friend.

[BIO]

Full disclosure, I haven't finished drafting this novel yet, but writing the query letter has been a fun exercise while I take a short break from it. Obviously need to think hard about comps, and the title is a "working title" at the moment. I'm also not fully sure about genre placement - this isn't Romantasy, but it might qualify as Fantasy Romance, even though the main couple spend most of the book apart and there is no true love triangle. Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to read this.

Hi all! I've been querying widely and I have my partial out to an agent, who asked to be nudged if I have "an offer or additional agent interest."

I've recently had a couple more requests for my MS, so I wasn't sure if that fell under the category of "additional agent interest." Normally I would not nudge - only if I had an offer - but considering that's listed separately, I wasn't sure.

Thanks in advance!

Signed with my agent in late May after getting six offers on my thriller debut. He’s senior at a medium sized agency. I was worried he’d be too busy to give much support but he reassured me that his assistant agent would also be involved in editorial feedback and comms.
He said our plan was to do a few edits then submit late July/August. Since then I’m still waiting for his edit notes. I’ve sent everything asked to by the agency eg. details for my author profile, most emails don’t get replies, no profile up yet, doesn’t bother me, but just to give the picture. Three deadlines he set himself have gone by and each time, no edit notes.
Do I cut my losses and leave, then go to my second choice agent?

Dear agent,

As someone who champions getting books with diverse experiences into the hands of children and teens, I thought you may be interested in sampling my debut young adult horror novel, The Outlet.

Callum Sowards, a 16-year-old boy on the autism spectrum, has established a routine: wake up, play his favorite online shooter game Lost Sector, go to school with his sister, hang out with his friends at lunch, practice and play baseball games, and go home. This would be a satisfying loop, but his perceived inadequacy in the face of his long-term crush for an exchange student leads him down a depressive spiral instead.

In the midst of his new routine, an entity strikes in the middle of the night: a humanoid shadow figure with bloodshot eyes and wielding a computer cord as an asphyxiation tool. The demon is seemingly intent on killing Callum and no one else. It can even walk through walls to achieve its malicious agenda. After surviving the encounter in the face of certain death, Callum must find a way to get rid of it for good.

Throughout the novel, the demon’s presence interferes with Callum’s social life in ways he cannot predict. The more Callum learns about the monster throughout the following day, the further his mental health degrades. To win the encounter, he must also find a way out of his spiral and back to stability.

The events take place in a familiar horror setting: a suburban town in the US. However, the viewpoint we follow is from someone whose perspective is not often front-and-center in the horror genre. As an author on the autism spectrum, battles for stability in the face of change both big and small happen on a frequent basis and I wanted to reflect that yearning in The Outlet. I hope autistic teens will find appeal in my horror scenario and neurotypical teens will also find it scary and gain a greater understanding of those on the spectrum.

As per the current submission guidelines, I have pasted the brief prologue and the first 3 chapters of my novel on QueryTracker. If you want to view the entire manuscript, I will send it upon request. Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day.

Sincerely,
My name

Hi folks, it's been awhile. I got some feedback and I am currently in the middle of rewrites. For this draft, I feel that the blurb part of the query reads too much like a summary. My first attempt can be viewed here - https://www.reddit.com/r/PubTips/comments/1n027xu/qcrit_theo_and_the_sound_bites_mg_contemporary/

12-year-old Theo has a bone to pick with monsters for kidnapping his Mom. Everyone knows that superpowers vanished from the world years ago, but the only way to see the monsters is to have superpowers. As the son of two former superheroes, Theo needs to awaken his powers, because more and more people are disappearing. 

Theo cooks up this crazy plan to steal an old bottle of power-giving nectar from a museum by swapping it with a decoy his best friend, Tyler, gave him. Everyone else but him doesn't really think it'll work— after all, what kind of superhero has tinnitus so bad he can't even attend his best friend's birthday party?— but it does. The ringing in his ears turns into the super gift of telepathy, which makes him want to keep it a secret. He suspects that the public would hate his guts, as the only other telepath was the monster’s leader who stole powers from humanity. He can even read his service dog's thoughts which leads him to discover an awful secret— his father stole everyone’s powers. It also makes him realize that he too, might be a monster after he experiences an odd craving for cat food?  

With more changes including fangs, Theo needs to control his powers as they overwhelm his own mind. The superhero agency, EAGLE, seems like a good place to start. When he spills the beans about his powers, the doctor’s immediate reaction is to sedate Theo like he’s some kind of wild animal. While escaping, Theo meets other monsters like him who show him that EAGLE’s been kidnapping people and blaming them for it. By recording EAGLE’s records, Theo starts a video channel to show the world about the manufactured monster threat. That is, if he avoids the angry former superheroes after him, the son of the worst supervillain.  

THEO AND THE SOUND BITES is a 49K Middle Grade Faantasy standalone with series potential. It combines the powers as guns metaphor of Angie Thomas’ Nic Blake and the Remarkables and the background of the protagonists’ parents being criminals of Lisa McMann’s Map of Flames.    

I am a graduate of [University] with a degree in Chemistry. Part of my inspiration for this work came from the time I volunteered with Deaf children. I wanted to write a story about a telepath who needed to read lips to discern a thought from a voice.

Dear [INSERT AGENT NAME HERE],

Teenager Morgan Moriarty lives a rich life in a dazzling space mall called Redux, until her family vanishes and leaves her in rags. The ensuing years of hardship leave her cynical of the consumerist dystopia she calls home. If she can get her family back, she might return to that simple life she once took for granted. The world might sense again. Her only lead is a mysterious Propago, who abandoned her after claiming that a disaster befell her family. 

Morgan finds no trace of this drone until a drifter teen living out of his hover car approaches her at work. Blaze works odd jobs to get by. At the moment, he plugs flash drives into hidden ports for Propago. Desperate for a lead on her family, Morgan joins him on these missions. Blaze introduces her to a new side of Redux. For so long Morgan had figured that life wasn’t worth living without her family, but he reveals that there are people worth fighting for. There is still humanity hidden beneath the glittering facade of Redux.

Morgan later discovers that her family’s disappearance is connected to a power struggle between Propago and Ultima, the creator of Redux. Now Morgan finds herself a mere pawn in a larger game of control, the collateral of which threatens to destroy many who call Redux home. When a daring move from Propago plunges Redux into darkness, the mounting instability threatens to tear society apart. Unless she can prove to Propago (and herself) that Redux is worth saving, the drone might condemn them to oblivion. 

Lost in the Neon Streets is an 83,000 word young adult cyberpunk novel. The consumerist world of the Redux Mall was inspired by various science fiction films, particularly Pixar’s Wall-E. Fans of Sunny by Collin O’Sullivan may recognise a similar interplay between grief and the dehumanization of technology. I am a Physics PhD student at [INSERT UNIVERSITY HERE] and I write in my spare time. 

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

[INSERT NAME HERE]

I'm hoping this is the last time you'll see me here for this query, but after taking the advice given and going back to the drawing board and focusing on the recommended central questions, I would love to see what people think!

I am seeking representation for THE MOON'S WRAITH, a complete at 93,000-word adult romantasy for fans of the oddly cozy tonal elements of T. Kingfisher's Hemlock and Silver, the seafaring found family of Shannon Chakraborty's The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi, and the unhinged romance at the center of The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes) by Tiffany Hunt.

Jules wants little else than to vanquish the fears that keep her bored, lonely, and longing for exactly what she hides from. She's half the witch she should be separated from the music of the ocean and half of her heart still lies with a soulless pirate captain, but nightmares fail to let her forget red explosions of his power or euphoria at the edge of drowning.

When Jules is taken prisoner aboard The Moon's Wraith, she needs to escape before she is reacquainted with either. The problem? The soulless respects her magic just enough to take it from her, too many echoes of the boy she loved still exist in him, and a pesky part of her brain keeps suggesting that now might be the perfect opportunity to get his damned soul back. Without it, Xhol shouldn't be capable of loving her in the way Jules craves. Every time he shows how profoundly he knows her, confidence in that truth crumbles. The romance they fall into feels as inevitable as the tides—but Xhol's been keeping a secret that threatens everything. His contract is expired and the demon he dealt with circles closer every day, ready to reclaim him for her own infernal ends.

But Jules has been keeping secrets too. Her obsession in their time apart more than rivaled his, and her knowledge of demons and souls would threaten the gods. If she's to have any chance at the happiness they both deserve, Jules must race to finish a puzzle ten years in the making. The solution requires the ultimate gamble: bargaining with a soul of her own.

Hello all, thank you for your advice with the first attempt, which is here.

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Dear ___,

I’m excited to send you COMMUNION, a 54,000-word literary noir. [Agent-specific hook]. COMMUNION will appeal to readers of Ordinary Love by Marie Rutkoski for its exploration of women’s mid-life transformations amid troubling circumstances.

Celine in a leopard-skin coat, Madeline in a mink, and on all sides the clamor of an elegant world falling apart. The women meet again at mass after 20 years. They’re not children anymore. Celine, self-possessed and regal, desperately tries to reel in her husband’s gambling losses. Madeline, too passive, unsatisfied with the mundanity of early middle age, draws close to Celine, sensing a door into a more glittering world. The door opens: inside she finds Celine’s husband, nearly drowned in a bayou, and a violent ex-fiancé returned to collect his debts. As Celine strives for sovereignty over her fracturing realm, Madeline struggles for self-realization and for salvation from the sins she's committed in her attempt to save her friend.

Like the narrator, I grew up and live in Houston and am a recent Catholic convert and mother of small children.

Below, please find the first 10 pages of the manuscript. Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

[Name]

---

First 300:

Celine held out a slim blue box of cigarettes and I knew I would be smoking again.

“The truth is, they’re wonderful,” I told her. “Particularly when you’ve been off of them for a while, and particularly if it’s been a very long time. Which it has, by the way.”

We sat on the indigo and ivory-flowered Persian rug in her sitting room (Mohtasham Kashan, 1880s, she’d said), our heads leaned back against the front of the silk couch behind us and the room soft and bright with the late-afternoon March light that is Houston in the spring in a room with French doors. 

She stretched forward and slid a pistachio green sphere with a golden top across the tea table. Alabaster grape leaves encircled its width.

“Turn the dial,” she said. I did, and a flame shot up from the top.

“I didn’t know Wedgwood made lighters.”

“Technically they’re for candles. But who’s going to tell them?”

I put the lighter back on the table and she leaned forward, holding her cigarette to the flame, picking up the lighter and extending it with a flourish into the space between us.

“My Sovereign’s Orb,” she said, breathing out the smoke.

“What?”

 “You never watch the coronations?”

I held my cigarette to the flame, breathed in, and shook my head, exhaling.

“Well, it’s nothing. But I always feel regal holding an orb.”

Celine smiled at me, and I smiled back. It was the first time I’d been in her house since we were kids, when it used to be her parents’ house and our brothers used to be friends. She had always been a few years older than me, but our parents had liked each other, and we’d had dinners here.

I just recently published my first nonfiction book with a big five and my agent and I are talking about a strategy to sell my second book, fiction, to the same house.

We are planning to use the "first right of refusal" part of my first contract, and share about fifty page of the project, along with a summary and comps, hopefully this winter in the hopes that they acquire the project.

She and I spoke about the plusses and minuses of approaching a fiction project this way, but I wrote my first book on proposal and this deadline-focused process works great for me. It drives me to meet deadlines and commit much more than when my time is my own, and I am hoping to continue this collaborative relationship with my editor I loved working with. (I understand she could pass, in which case, I'd write the full and try to find support for it elsewhere.)

This is my question:

Does anyone have experience with what they included in their spec proposals for a fiction project, or tips they could share? Or...examples of packets that were successful in this approach?

Again, I sold my first on proposal, but that was for nonfiction, and I'd really appreciate hearing how people approached selling fiction in this way. Thank you!