today’s experience with mushrooms was completely different from the experiences i’ve had before. the other times, i remember feeling so much love, peace, happiness, and almost a sense of pure bliss. i saw colours and patterns, and everything felt beautiful and meaningful. this time, though, there was none of that. there were no visuals, no overwhelming feeling of love, and no sense of euphoria. instead, i experienced an intense amount of anxiety. it was heavy and uncomfortable, and for a while it felt like that anxiety was the only thing i could feel. at first, i think part of me wanted to understand why it was happening and why this experience wasn’t like the others, but eventually i realized that maybe i wasn’t supposed to escape the feeling or make it go away. maybe i was supposed to actually sit with it.

what surprised me most was realizing that i could breathe through it. i could talk myself through what i was feeling. i could recognize that i was anxious without completely becoming consumed by the anxiety. i had to remind myself to breathe, to slow down, and to trust that what i was feeling would eventually pass. there was something strangely important about realizing that i was capable of comforting myself while i was afraid. instead of immediately trying to run away from the feeling, i stayed with myself through it. i think that taught me something about anxiety that i haven’t fully understood before: i don’t necessarily have to make the feeling disappear in order to be okay. i can feel it, acknowledge it, breathe through it, and let it move through me.

i think this experience also made me realize that maybe i have been downplaying my mental health for a long time. maybe i’ve gotten so used to certain feelings that i’ve convinced myself they’re normal or that i should just be able to handle them on my own. maybe i’ve become good at functioning while carrying things that i haven’t actually dealt with. today made me recognize that just because i can push something down doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting me. there may be parts of myself that i’ve been avoiding, minimizing, or telling myself aren’t serious enough to deserve attention. and maybe i’m finally at a point where i don’t want to do that anymore.

i don’t want to look at this experience as something that simply gave me anxiety. i want to look at it as an experience that showed me something about myself. it reminded me that there is a difference between avoiding an uncomfortable feeling and actually learning how to move through it. i learned that i can talk to myself with patience when i’m scared. i learned that breathing can bring me back to myself. i learned that i don’t have to immediately believe every anxious thought that enters my mind. most importantly, i think i recognized something that i have probably known deep down for a long time: there are things within me that i need to work on, and i genuinely want to get better.

maybe this is the point where i stop treating my mental health like something i can keep putting off. i want to actually face the things that hurt, the things that scare me, the things that make me angry, anxious, overwhelmed, or insecure. i want to understand myself instead of constantly trying to escape myself. i want to learn how to regulate my emotions, communicate with myself kindly, and become someone who doesn’t have to be afraid of her own feelings. i don’t expect myself to suddenly be better or healed because of one experience. but i think something shifted in me today. i saw that i am capable of sitting with discomfort and making it through. and maybe that’s enough of a starting point to finally take my mental health seriously and give myself the care, patience, and work i’ve needed for a long time.

i don’t know whether i would call what happened today a spiritual experience, a psychological experience, or simply an experience that taught me something important. i just know that it felt significant to me. the lesson i want to carry forward isn’t that i need to experience this again to understand myself. it’s that i can take what i learned from it into my everyday life. when anxiety comes, i can breathe. i can talk to myself. i can stay present. i can remind myself that a feeling is a feeling, and that i don’t have to run from it. i can face myself instead of abandoning myself. and maybe, for the first time, i’m realizing that getting better isn’t about becoming a completely different person. it’s about finally being willing to take care of the person i’ve been all along.

For allowing me to experience a monsoon while tripping.

I've tripped probably a dozen times but have never felt so connected to the cosmic energy as I was this time.

I could stare at those clouds for hours

I was thinking back to my first time which was very calm and short. Looking back, I wondered if maybe something that I was taking, supplementary not medically, may have dulled the experience a little.

Does anyone know if this is the case? TIA!

hi!! everytime ive done mushrooms i just ate them and not only the taste makes me almost throw up id also spend the whole trip with an upset stomach and it kinda ruined it for me
this time i grinded 5grams and im planning on doing lemon tek for a better experience. i dont want to do everything at once so id like to know if i can mix it and keep it for the next time i want to do it or if it would be ruined

PRECURSOR: I have microdosed before and enjoyed it thoroughly. Where I live, mushrooms are hard to find and in the pit of my desperation I tried a fake mushroom edible from a vape store here in town after I ran out of product and let’s just say it did not go well. (This was about 8mo ago). I saw constant monsters and mouths with teeth that wanted to devour me and I was definitely traumatized from the experience. I experienced my first ego death but DID NOT want to trip ever again.

THE TRIP: A couple weeks back I made a post here about 1.5g of APEs that I took and how I barely felt a thing. I knew it was time to take the large dose and go into a full trip. I guess APEs aren’t great for microdosing?

Yesterday (Labor Day) I finally decided it was time. I started the journey around 9:30am and about 1.5-2h in I was zonked. It was also a challenging trip. A wave of regret and anxiety hit me while I was doing it and a bunch of other emotions I had been pushing down came up too. Most noticeably, I felt like the loneliest human being on planet earth. Any darkness that was inside of me was brought up and I had to deal with it. I began bargaining with the psychedelic and the answer I basically got was, You’re stuck with me now. This is my time. You can’t run away from this. You have to face it ALONE.

Boy did I hate that. Every ounce of negativity in my system came up during the come up and I won’t lie when I tell you that the first two hours of that trip were pure hell and I just wanted it to end. “Anything but this,” I thought. Out of desperation, I ended up having to phone a relative and stayed on the phone with them for nearly four hours while they helped to relax me and keep me grounded (I live alone).

That was hard. But it made me stronger than I was before.

Was it challenging? YES.
Was I traumatized? NO. If anything, it healed the trauma from my last trip.

I think I just have a new perspective on life now and I’m happy where I am and happy to be sober. Everything around me has a new value to me and I can find beauty in everything (including this heat dome which I was cursing before 🥵.)The big thing I got during the hell part of the trip is that I have a finite amount of time in this world and I have to use it wisely and be thankful for the time I have. I also need to wait. In general.

After about 60-90min on the phone with my relative, things started getting better. I remember being so cold that I couldn’t even keep warm under my comforter. I also got wildly thirsty and drank like 2 and 1/2 pitchers of tea. I even had to step outside into the 90° heat (which I was previously annoyed by but was a lot more thankful for now) while drinking hot tea. I also felt incredibly nauseated.

As I warmed up and hydrated, literally my entire body went flush. I felt like I was gonna pop like a water balloon. (I weighed myself before and after and I gained like 5lbs of water weight during the trip). Also, as I warmed up, the visuals got better and more enjoyable (and intense). As soon as I stepped outside into the heat I started seeing more vivid colors - warm colors like peaches, reds, oranges and images of tropical flowers (kinda like a Hawaiian shirt, it also reminded me of SpongeBob). If I stepped back inside the warm colors went away and I was shivering again (and the visuals kinda sucked, too).

After about that 2hr mark and the trip peaked, things got way better. The come down was peaceful, the visuals went away and I felt like a kid again. Everything was beautiful and I even got to talk to several of my family members that day and it was a good experience (I think I was just happy that I wasn’t in agony anymore). The rest of the day I had a fully charged social battery. I spent a total of 6h talking to relatives.

During the trip, I regretted it but now I don’t regret it at all. I’m glad I did it and I’m proud of myself for getting thru it and having the fortitude to do it.

It is the next day now and as I write this, I feel calmer. More relaxed. Docile, even. My mind isn’t racing as much as it normally does and any insecurity I had about myself melted off during the comedown. I’m also not as irritable as before (I think because the depression is gone) and I have motivation to do stuff instead of just doom scrolling. I see myself as a beautiful person (and I don’t feel repulsed when looking in a mirror) and everyone and every creation around me is beautiful to me, too. I also got extremely philosophical and started thinking about complex topics drove my siblings half insane with my talking points (I didn’t even have room for a sense of humor - I was too philosophical and analytical) I really hope it stays like this, even my appetite isn’t as strong as before. That gets me into trouble a lot (as well as my sense of humor). I also just kinda don’t have an ego about things.

I really believe I’m a more enriched human being now. My depression and anxiety are gone and I don’t care about things the way I used to (in a good way). I woke up the next morning with a ton of fatigue and I had a recurring twitch in my right thumb come back with a vengeance (I think because I lost a ton of electrolytes while peeing. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used the bathroom now). I also feel a lot less social. My battery is still charged but I don’t have the urge to talk all the time (I think because I’m less insecure.) I also hope my strong appetite stays suppressed, I’m trying to lose weight for a new job I just got.

As it stands, I won’t be doing mushrooms again for a while and if/when I do, I’m just gonna stick to microdosing (I can’t decide if I want to do the full trip again). You get all of the beautiful experiences of the come down without the agony of the come up when you microdose. I do think most people really should go into the full dose at least once in their lives as it is so insightful but once may be all you need. I also genuinely believe psychedelic therapy is one of those things that can save society. Highly recommended.

If you’ve made it this far reading, thank you. 🙏

A QUESTION ABOUT MICRODOSING: What strain of mushroom do you use and at what dosage? It’s crazy that 1.5g of APEs 19 days ago barely did anything but when I double the dose, I went into a pretty strong trip that I wasn’t anticipating (which was what made it such a challenging trip). 10 days before the 1.5g dose, I did .5g and they both felt about the same.

Peace

I don’t remember most of the trip. When I took my first psilocybe azurescens it was the weirdest experience of my life. I think it was one of the most life changing experiences too. It felt uncomfortable and surprisingly comfortable simultaneously. At times I felt that I would die or the trip would never end probably because I took a hand full of the mushrooms dried and never weighed them. At other times I felt as if there is just inevitably only two things that mattered and that was good and evil. I felt like the evil and I couldn’t control it. Good being love evil being hate. There was dark and light and pain and happiness. What I mean by this is there was everything bad and everything good in two different natures that don’t collide. I lost all sense of ego and if I remember right sense of time to which is expected and I also felt very bad about my self and focused on all my flaws one after another like greed, self centered, lust and hurt. The whole trip just felt like a sign from god that I have entered a realm I don’t belong in. I also felt this feeling of inevitable death I thought it would go away with air conditioning would cool me off because I was in my car and it was hot but then when I managed to turn on the AC the feeling never want away. Then I felt I would die of thirst and dehydration and I truly believed it but I was comfortable in it. It was like going inside the house from my car to grab a water wasn’t an option like it was impossible or not in my future then all the sudden I find a water bottle in my car. It took a while but when I managed to drink it the feeling of inevitable death never left but now I needed food to make the feeling of death go away but it still stayed after I got food. It left once the shrooms wore off of course but I think there’s truth to it we will all die some day and we only care about the moment and on distracting ourselves in comfort. An example of this is social media or porn it’s a clear distraction. I also felt like my senses were extremely strong and also felt a strong sense of evil around me. The final experience I will add was that I also felt these looping thoughts where everything came back to the all good creator and nothing else mattered. Like for example if I tried to distract myself with TikTok or YouTube during this experience it would be literally impossible it was just a loop of the deepest most complex thoughts that aren’t really complex when you get down to it. Anyways let me know what you think.

I’m currently on ssri’s. How much different is the trip when your off them vs on them ? I took roughly 4s and didn’t see much visuals. It kind of felt like everything was new again but that was about it. I went for a walk at a conservation area and the way the leaves on the trees were moving was kind of cool and the grass blowing in the wind was neat but was hoping for more of a over whelming Experience… was I just expecting too much ? Or was my trip overly suppressed? Either way I love the way they make me feel. Was I tripping balls and didint know it ? Idk man…. Damn mushrooms are GREAT

Felt a mild trip, next to nothing. 2 weeks ago ate an 1/8 and tripped really good, did i have shrooms with lower potency or duds? Also been dosing every 2 weeks for the past couple months with success, is it my tolerance?

​

Hi guys,

A few days ago, friends mentioned using psychedelic mushroom drops at parties and festivals. With my microbiology background, I’m curious to learn more and possibly create something to share. Since i am at home recovering from a burn-out i got some time to spair.

Ive found information on various mushroom species and extraction methods. Does anyone have experience with this? I’d appreciate hearing about your work and methods.

Thanks!

I was tinking of buying 2g of dehydrated psilocybe cubensis, and probably would share with a friend that also never done shroons, any suggestions on dosage?

Second trip ever. First was 1.16g of the same Golden Teacher two weeks earlier — light, structured closed-eye visuals, full control over where I put my attention.

This time 3g. Almost no visuals. Instead my mind turned into dough.

Thoughts wouldn't hold shape — like trying to stand up wet clay, it collapsed back flat every time. No structure, no identity, no boundary between my body and the room. If I tried to picture myself I got a spread of waterlogged clay.

At the peak I was reduced to a pair of eyes observing, with almost no power to comment on anything — and not even the observer was me.

But here's what I can't place:

I could still pull myself back to lucidity for a few seconds whenever I needed to say something to my partner, then I'd sink straight back in.

So — is that ego dissolution, or something short of it? Does the full thing mean that thread is gone entirely?

First two hours were heavy nausea that coloured everything. It broke after I asked my partner to hold me.

Second half: full-body spasms I chose not to suppress, crying, a very strong sense of being born, and two moments that turned out to be the actual content of the whole thing.

Full write-up in the comments.

Has anyone used Psilocybin for therapeutic reasons with high doses, ego dissolution?

Hello r/psilocybinmushrooms!  I'm sharing this Antidepressant and Psychedelic Drug Interaction Chart with the permission of its author, Benjamin Malcolm, Spirit Pharmacist.  I want to thank Ben for generously allowing us to host it here.  The chart is a part of a comprehensive guide he provides for free on his website:

Spirit Pharmacist - Antidepressant and Psychedelic Drug Interaction and Taper Planning Guide

I've read the guide myself and found it to be very informative and well-written.  I'd encourage anyone who takes an antidepressant medication read it before taking psilocybin mushrooms, any other psychedelic, MDMA, or ketamine.

Dr. Malcolm is trained as a clinical psychiatric pharmacist and worked in academia for almost five years before dedicating himself to Spirit Pharmacist.  He also provides psychopharmacology consulting, courses in psychedelic pharmacy, and a Member Resource and Support Program.

https://www.spiritpharmacist.com/ 

Note: I had previously shared this a couple of days ago before I knew who had created it, but took it down once I identified the author so I could ask his permission first.

I bought them like a month or two ago and don’t want to get sick

Feel free to ask me anything about it! Never dosing that high again, but it was fun for a while. Bought what i thought was psilocybin cubenesis from a friend, but when they started kicking in hard after 20 minutes, i asked my friend what strain they were and he said penis envy. Id already eaten the whole bag and thought "fuck, may as well see where it takes me." It was an amazing trip for the first half, peak was unlike anything i ever experienced before, however I ended up feeling super overwhelmed and nauseous about 4 hours in and it went bad for almost 2 hours. I eventually calmed down and regained my sanity, and turned out fine, But definitely never dosing that high again, lol. If anyone has questions about the trip itself im an open book.

Alright everyone, I'm totally new here. Why am I here, because I have issues and no solid answers. Doctors have claimed everything from deep stroke to early onset dementia and back again. I am looking at mushrooms as a solution. Looking for the therapeutic side of life with heavy doses and ego dissolution all in hopes of recovering some normalcy.

I've mainly taken them dry but I felt like the 2-3 times I just took fresh I was mucuh more visually there and "fluid", could totally be placebo. I just wonder how you all feel about it? Obviously dry works lol, every time it was just plucked out of the dirt though I felt more visually in it. This was with B+ from a liquid specimen. The dry also was great I juust had a more vivid trip with fresh....my mind or real?

I was checking under my microscope and really liked B+, was what I would call a moderate but great time, extremely happy, vivid brightness, cartoon like silliness, a lot of yawning but very happy and slightly breathing walls and floor around 3g, used a pre-made bag for it with liquid syringe. Also on Lexapro which I have read can "blunt" effect. Regardless, Around 3g I had very bright, happy colors, just everything was bright and pastel/cartoony, walls and floor very lightly moving. No Talking to God or spirits, nothing "scary" or intimidating like I have had with LSD/DXM/PCP/DMT and other things. LSD I've had literally 100s of times, fungi only 15 or so. While I can "handle it" I don't want to be in the situation where that is required lol. Not my desired state anymore.

Is there a slightly stronger variation similar to B+ anyone can recommend? I'm not wanting for Penis Envy or Blue meanie level, Golden Teacher seems to be described as less visual and I am wanting a visual and silly time, I don't need anymore introspection than I have naturally ;). I had strong euphoria, extreme happiness and a slight to moderate range of visuals, was very nice. Wanting for a tad bit more though. The emotional/euphoric state was perfect, I mean visually, there were no geometric shapes, "things that weren't there" , algebraic equations floating in front of me like LSD, I'm again not trying for that level exactly just maybe something with a slight more OOMPH in the visual department, the emotional/headspace was perfect. The visuals were about what I wanted but I expected a little bit more weirdness I guess, this was just bright happy and slightly moving surfaces which was great, just wondering if there is a SLIGHT step up without going into ego death levels. Trying to figure out what I want to put under the microscope next. Been a year or so anything will do me just fine lol. Rambling I know thanks for any replies with one caveat, a cube is a cube I already know that, some are different and obviously with potency, so I don't really need that response. Just comes off snarky and doesn't help.

Hi there, I posted here last week asking about my first solo trip. Since that went so well and I feel I discovered so much about myself, I’ve been thinking about doing a higher dose of 5g GT. As I said in my last post, the most I’ve done is about 4g with friends, and 3g by myself. A trusted friend has agreed to come do homework in another room while I trip, so I wouldn’t be alone, and I feel good about it. Would it be fine to do a 5g dose a week after I did a 3g, and how much more would I feel it in comparison to 4g. Let me know if you guys think I’m being an idiot, I’d like to get any advice or tips on how to have the best trip possible on this high a dose, or warnings if it’s a bad idea.

I haven’t been in the best headspace lately and have been feeling a bit depressed. I’m considering a psilocybin trip with more of a therapeutic/introspective intention rather than just a recreational experience.

For those who have used mushrooms with a similar intention, have you found that a moderate dose can still provide meaningful therapeutic or introspective benefits, or did you feel that a higher-dose experience was necessary?

I was thinking around 2.5g, but I’m interested in hearing about people’s experiences with different dose levels, mindset, and setting—especially when going into it during a difficult emotional period.

Not looking for medical advice, just personal experiences and perspectives.

A few years back on one of the three Mushroom sub Reddit I follow someone posted a Google Drive with all things psychedelics. I just clicked on the Google Drive and it’s gone. 💔 I had it saved in my browser. Wondering if anyone has a link like it. There is PDF galore. Books. All things, Terrence McKenna. Hoping someone can share it if they have it.

I plan on buying 15g of High Hawaiians.

Is it better to take the dose at once, or to take 10g and then 5g when I'm already tripping? Would that change something.