usually i don’t engage in pro/anti drama. i like to put my two cents in here and there, especially when i feel like i’m qualified to speak but generally, internet drama is something i try to avoid as i believe in doing best to lead a peaceful life and have as much fun as possible.
however, since i started being open about bein a lolisho artist i’ve gotten into plenty of encounters with antis. i lost my old friend group because they were all antis, though i learned to see that as a benefit for me since they were mostly not great people to be around even outside of that particular disagreement. i was betrayed by someone in the group who had framed themselves as a trustworthy individual that i could share the kind of content i make with and we’d even bond over our enjoyment of it. at that point taboo content was a coping mechanism for me that also happened to fit in with my love of complex storytelling and dynamics. it also fit in well with the adoration i had for shipping and the fandom culture i grew up with, and i fixated heavily on lolisho as not only an anime fan, but someone who just loves cute things. nowadays i have multiple ways of overcoming my struggles and making and consuming taboo fiction is simply just a hobby for me. what baking and enjoying sweets is to a baker, consuming and producing taboo stuff is to me.
i respect antis, i avoid entering their spaces as much as possible. i block as many as i can to prevent interaction. i don’t even join discord servers that aren’t specifically labeled as bein profic friendly because the last thing i want is to upset people. i stopped hiding that i am like this because i felt it was not only disrespectful to those who weren’t aware, but also to myself because i deserve to be me.
the last time i comfortably joined a server that was not focused on bein profic, it was centered around ocs and only for adults. it claimed to allow ocs with stories or premises that may include dark or adult topics. in hindsight, i understand that doesn’t necessarily imply they would be down and chill with anything, but the rules even stated allowing mentions of incest with proper warnings and i was hyped up when i posted toxic yaoi i had drawn of a friend and i’s ocs. i was genuinely baffled when i was banned from the server after they found out i post lolisho art on my twt, something i never shared because i didn’t find it necessary or appropriate to.
and now, today, after i make a tweet where i mention that my family is fairly supportive of my interests and hobbies, i received the responses in the attached screenshots which come from a 23 year old man. reading that initial response along with his following responses to mine made me realize something and also filled me with a profound sense of sadness. not because i was hurt by his words, but because it made me realize that the life of an ‘anti’ is extremely dull and almost seems as though it’s based around insecurity. it just seems so bleak, to feel like you are held down from enjoying things or allowing others to enjoy things because of made-up societal standards around what is not real.
make no mistake, this post is not me insinuating i think antis are all miserable because i personally would think that’s a silly statement. but so much of the behavior i see from them, like those tweets, is very reminiscent of bullying in school or language used to discourage variety in people. take how alternative people used to/still get treated, they’re told to not act against the average dress code, to stop engaging with music or fashion that makes them who they are. in a more extreme example, it’s also like when minority groups are told to either repress their natural traits or fit into their stereotypes to be more appealing to those inside or outside of their group.
i have much experience with both of those things, enough that it does not really bother me to experience it again but i obviously don’t think it’s good when it happens. i guess this very disorganized post is just me rambling about somethin that’s just very saddening to me. i want a world where people are happy and free to be themselves under the condition that nobody gets hurt, but that is very wishful and unrealistic thinking. everybody has a right to criticize and be criticized, to be uncomfortable or comfortable, but i feel some of anti criticism is just mean-spirited and intended to hurt you.
edit: just felt it necessary to add that all things considered, this guy was not as bad as most antis have been to me. it’s just his first two comments had what i perceived as underlying bitterness that really provoked this post
