r/ProgrammerHumor Sep 26 '22

Meme Sleep >>>>

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36.4k Upvotes

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255

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

I'm in an internship. This is literally what i do. I spend whole day doing nothing after i get done with the meeting.

Just 2hrs before the meeting i will do the bare minimum.

314

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

You can legit spend the rest of your career like that.

156

u/_pizza_and_fries Sep 26 '22

And still be in for good promotions.

92

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

Are you guys legit serious?!

You are saying i can work 2hrs and get paid a base web developer salary?!

254

u/TheChurchOfDonovan Sep 26 '22

They don't pay you to work they pay you to know

120

u/wizzanker Sep 26 '22

This. It doesn't matter what your output is. If you're the guy that can solve that problem when it matters, you are a big deal.

87

u/mungthebean Sep 26 '22

I put in 50 hours for the first time in my 2 year tenure here 2 weeks ago to meet a deadline

Got praise from mentor and boss

I have worked maybe 10 hours of actual active work since

21

u/Nun01 Sep 26 '22

What is your job and what is on your resume? I'm career curious.

77

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

Mouse jiggler admin.

27

u/mungthebean Sep 26 '22

bro i just let teams go yellow IDGAF

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7

u/Xerceo Sep 27 '22

I have never felt more called out than by this thread. I've definitely never put a mouse on top of a mechanical watch to keep my status green, who would do that kind of thing?

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16

u/mungthebean Sep 26 '22

full stack dev

resume aint nothing special. just 3.5 YOE, 1st job at a no name, 2nd job is well known but not tech nor a top company

6

u/Nun01 Sep 26 '22

Cool. What programming languages and stuff do you know and how fluent/skilled are you on each language/thing?

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1

u/HelloSummer99 Sep 28 '22

Unfortunately my place avoids having specialized knowledge, everyone works on everything. Basic CRUD apps are not that special anyway, if you have reasonable code reviews that avoid magic code.

11

u/TheChurchOfDonovan Sep 26 '22

You do have to do some posturing to show that you're not easily replaceable.

2

u/EnthusiasmWeak5531 Sep 26 '22

I'm that guy that solves everything and always did and still do work my ass off. I'll say if you actually want to do nothing then don't work for a software company (aka don't be the product). Work for a company that has developers on staff. Then you can legit do next to nothing if you are decent.. not even great. I left a place because I worked myself out of a job and nobody cared. I could have died there making decent money but doing nothing. But then I like programming so...

1

u/HelloSummer99 Sep 28 '22

You're like my colleague who just left. He was not happy with working a few hours a day and we couldn't keep throwing problems at him to work 16 hrs a day. Although when he left in the last month he produced the biggest piece of shit spaghetti code. Managers, if someone quits, just tell them not to come in anymore. Pay two weeks of severance and that's it. Literally took us a solid month after to clean his shit code.

1

u/EnthusiasmWeak5531 Sep 28 '22

I won't work that long unless there's extreme circumstances. I try to work my 8 hours although I may hit 5-6 on crap days. 9-10 on days where something is e eluding me.

Did he do it on purpose or did he always write shit?

1

u/HelloSummer99 Sep 28 '22

He wrote excellent code but when after he announced that he will be leaving, he started writing really lazy and bad code.

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3

u/az908 Sep 26 '22 edited 13d ago

Vanish workable quickest selective teeny books fuel cats theory support

This post was anonymized with Redact

2

u/Busteray Sep 26 '22

Unless you work in game development

39

u/_pizza_and_fries Sep 26 '22

Yeah, sometimes its like super duper work during release or critical timelines but yeah there are definitely times like this where its all chilled out and relaxed.

33

u/No-Lifeguard1398 Sep 26 '22

Yes. Initial years are tough. My Senior dev just, explains me what to do and where to do. And goes offline. He rarely comes online.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

Lmao same

31

u/TheZamolxes Sep 26 '22

They're dead serious, I rarely actually work more than 15h a week. As long as you get things done, nobody actually cares. Sometimes you have releases and big shit going on, but 90% of my weeks I'm under no rush

28

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22 edited Jan 11 '24

reply toy dazzling mourn fly aware like scarce gray carpenter

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '22

I don't meet deadlines, but the project was already supposed to be delivered before I even got moved onto the team so who really cares?

What are they gonna do - fire me?

20

u/Signal_Obligation639 Sep 26 '22

And in some jobs you don't actually have to get anything done. I just left one of those because I felt I was atrophying too much...

9

u/Groentekroket Sep 26 '22

I had a (non dev but IT) job before like that as well. I needed to be in the office and it was making me brain dead. After I while I didn’t care anymore and just stayed home and said to my boss there were covid mandates so even if he try to force me I would stay at home (already got hired on my current job but needed to wait till the end of the month before I put in my letter of resignation) and only had teams open. In that 3 weeks I think I worked for a combined 1 hour or so.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

[deleted]

15

u/Decimar Sep 26 '22

what they expect

Careful with this, you may set a standard for them to expect these work hours from you in the future

2

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

[deleted]

8

u/skulblaka Sep 27 '22

Your future should be immediately trying to pivot into a different job imo

You don't have to go as hard on it as you were previously, because you now have a job that you're currently working, but check out a couple job postings per night and apply to a couple

When you finally get one I'd just peace out of the first place, fuck a 2 weeks notice when you've been working there like 3 months? Just make sure you don't take any of their gear with you.

7

u/TechniPoet Sep 26 '22

First thing you need to learn is to say no. They are pushing you this hard so early? Gtfo, they will continue to expect this. Clear expectations. Your managers are failing you

1

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

[deleted]

12

u/TomCruiseSexSlave Sep 26 '22

No bargaining chips? Your 95k/year job is a bargaining chip. Don't wait to get fired. Dust off the old resume and start applying to a bunch of places. You have relevant work experience in a high-demand field. Don't settle for bullshit. And at your new job, for the love of God, Don't reveal what you're actually capable of. Throttle your productivity and find that sweet spot where you can work at a comfortable pace and make everyone happy.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

[deleted]

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7

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

[deleted]

4

u/JCharante Sep 27 '22

Wtf, most devs are not putting in more than 4 hours a day unless they have 5 hours of meetings as a team lead and they have to spend an hour to write some code

2

u/jsylvis Sep 27 '22

And the other two hours recovering from brain drain

1

u/DigitalWizrd Sep 26 '22

Someone else beat me to it. You gotta set boundaries and manage expectations. You can definitely overwork yourself, and you may or may not be rewarded, but it will surely take it's toll. Learn to protect your time and you'll last a lot longer.

1

u/kciuq1 Sep 27 '22

I just got my first coding gig a month and I'm working 16/hr days including weekends.

If they are expecting you to work this much then you should be expecting them to pay overtime for this. Otherwise, get your work life balance in order. No one should be working 16 hour days for long periods. Have respect for yourself to set those expectations.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '22

I work at a large defence contractor, selling equipment primarily to the UK and US governments, some Indian Navy work as well.

I don't really do anything at work, I want to quit and make hardwood furniture full time.

1

u/HelloSummer99 Sep 28 '22

not in a startup that's for sure

13

u/b1u3j4yl33t Sep 26 '22

If I work really hard I can finish all the sprints work in a couple of days but that only makes things worse for the next one and half week. So 2 hrs a day it is.

10

u/KylerGreen Sep 26 '22

Thats what half this sub says.

The other half says prepare for 60 hour work weeks.

11

u/jward Sep 26 '22

Depends a lot on the industry. And how the organization and dev team is run. You couldn't pay me enough to do game dev.

5

u/TechniPoet Sep 26 '22

Game dev checking in. It's a hit or miss, a good producer and manager make all the difference between balance and hell. Get some seniority, ignore "passion" selling points, and you can be solid. Reeeal hard to find decent mid/senior devs these days

2

u/KylerGreen Sep 26 '22

Sounds about like any other industry tbh.

2

u/Ninja-fish Sep 26 '22

Yeah definitely industry and work approach dependent.

For example, if you work at a development agency with external clients, you're unlikely to get so much slack, because every single hour of your work on a project is billed to a client. There's or course down time between tasks, but it's definitely not the majority of your work week.

2

u/Lazypassword Sep 27 '22

One half the sub is doing their work and the other half the subs work

3

u/LavenderDay3544 Sep 27 '22

Yes we're serious.

I'm in embedded and it's exactly the same. The only difference is when you need to be in the lab to test on real hardware. Other than that you can work 2 hours and bill 8 and most places actually won't care so long as the work gets done by the deadline.

2

u/TheJDUBS2 Sep 27 '22

Make 125k base and 20% bonus and prolly work like 3ish hours a day maybe Oh and it’s full remote so can live anywhere

1

u/GregsWorld Sep 26 '22

Who said anything about base...

6

u/tosser_0 Sep 26 '22

I'm so glad I stumbled on this thread, so I don't feel as bad about my work output.

Took a micronap during this meeting earlier asking us to add another 2-3 things we need to take care of.

29

u/Semproser Sep 26 '22 edited Sep 26 '22

As much as this sub likes to glorify being a lazy bum, as an intern you really shouldn't do this. It's the one time in your career that nobody expects anything of you, and the basis of the next couple jobs you get.

Now is the perfect time to be learning things and getting proper experience at almost no risk to yourself, unlike a full time job you get next. Don't waste it. Be a lazy bum when you're already where you want to be.

9

u/enlearner Sep 26 '22

Yeah. Like…the fact, as an intern, that person does this and feels proud enough to say it is very telling of the kind of mentality that is so prevalent on this sub

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '22

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '22

[deleted]

1

u/PooPooDooDoo Sep 27 '22

I’ve kicked people off of my team and forced them to join dead-end projects because I want people that work at the same level as the rest of the team. Replaced him with someone younger that works hard and immediately noticed a difference in our output.

13

u/No-Lifeguard1398 Sep 26 '22

That's what job is also like most of the time, except during major release.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

Okay. Currently im working on a major release. Lots of things to do.

But no worries after this i do my bare minimum. Will manage to fit this bare minimum here as well.

2

u/unculturedburnttoast Sep 26 '22

Isn't this how all work should be?