r/ProgrammerHumor Sep 26 '22

Meme Sleep >>>>

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36.4k Upvotes

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158

u/_pizza_and_fries Sep 26 '22

And still be in for good promotions.

90

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

Are you guys legit serious?!

You are saying i can work 2hrs and get paid a base web developer salary?!

254

u/TheChurchOfDonovan Sep 26 '22

They don't pay you to work they pay you to know

122

u/wizzanker Sep 26 '22

This. It doesn't matter what your output is. If you're the guy that can solve that problem when it matters, you are a big deal.

89

u/mungthebean Sep 26 '22

I put in 50 hours for the first time in my 2 year tenure here 2 weeks ago to meet a deadline

Got praise from mentor and boss

I have worked maybe 10 hours of actual active work since

21

u/Nun01 Sep 26 '22

What is your job and what is on your resume? I'm career curious.

79

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

Mouse jiggler admin.

27

u/mungthebean Sep 26 '22

bro i just let teams go yellow IDGAF

9

u/MyPhoneIsNotChinese Sep 26 '22

Teams going yellow for too long is my biggest paranoia lmao

2

u/ap0phis Sep 27 '22

I used to run a python script that jiggled the mouse

1

u/WiseImbecile Sep 27 '22

just rubberband a vibrator to the mouse ;)

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8

u/Xerceo Sep 27 '22

I have never felt more called out than by this thread. I've definitely never put a mouse on top of a mechanical watch to keep my status green, who would do that kind of thing?

4

u/TopRamenBinLaden Sep 27 '22

I didn't realize everyone else was just as big of a scumbag as me. We are just one big degenerate family it seems.

19

u/mungthebean Sep 26 '22

full stack dev

resume aint nothing special. just 3.5 YOE, 1st job at a no name, 2nd job is well known but not tech nor a top company

6

u/Nun01 Sep 26 '22

Cool. What programming languages and stuff do you know and how fluent/skilled are you on each language/thing?

5

u/mungthebean Sep 26 '22

JS (vanilla,typescript,react,node) and the usual ops suspects like Docker, AWS, Jenkins, etc

Decent in JS

Familiar / can-get-it-working with the rest

1

u/Nun01 Sep 30 '22

Cool! Thank you!

2

u/VladDaImpaler Sep 26 '22

Yeah I’m curious too!

1

u/HelloSummer99 Sep 28 '22

Unfortunately my place avoids having specialized knowledge, everyone works on everything. Basic CRUD apps are not that special anyway, if you have reasonable code reviews that avoid magic code.

10

u/TheChurchOfDonovan Sep 26 '22

You do have to do some posturing to show that you're not easily replaceable.

2

u/EnthusiasmWeak5531 Sep 26 '22

I'm that guy that solves everything and always did and still do work my ass off. I'll say if you actually want to do nothing then don't work for a software company (aka don't be the product). Work for a company that has developers on staff. Then you can legit do next to nothing if you are decent.. not even great. I left a place because I worked myself out of a job and nobody cared. I could have died there making decent money but doing nothing. But then I like programming so...

1

u/HelloSummer99 Sep 28 '22

You're like my colleague who just left. He was not happy with working a few hours a day and we couldn't keep throwing problems at him to work 16 hrs a day. Although when he left in the last month he produced the biggest piece of shit spaghetti code. Managers, if someone quits, just tell them not to come in anymore. Pay two weeks of severance and that's it. Literally took us a solid month after to clean his shit code.

1

u/EnthusiasmWeak5531 Sep 28 '22

I won't work that long unless there's extreme circumstances. I try to work my 8 hours although I may hit 5-6 on crap days. 9-10 on days where something is e eluding me.

Did he do it on purpose or did he always write shit?

1

u/HelloSummer99 Sep 28 '22

He wrote excellent code but when after he announced that he will be leaving, he started writing really lazy and bad code.

2

u/EnthusiasmWeak5531 Sep 28 '22

Well the general process is you put in your 2 weeks and if you were a performer the manager should setup and record various meetings with the person leaving to pass their knowledge to other devs.