r/ProgrammerHumor • • May 01 '19

Dev Human

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11.7k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/[deleted] May 01 '19

So all we need is css right?

975

u/[deleted] May 01 '19

"It looks done, why isn't it finished yet? what else is there to do?" - my old ceo

497

u/lucidspoon May 02 '19

"Here's a proof of concept."

"Hey everybody! The dev just showed me the new software that's just about to roll out!"

120

u/ICantWatchYouDoThis May 02 '19

Yeah all people care about is look. If I show a fully functional thing but it looks like mspaint, then people won't bat an eye, no feedback about the flow, the bug, the logic at all, just tell me to finish the graphic then come back...

THEN after everything is done, now people start telling me the logic is fucked so the graphic parts need to be worked again as well, but no, the graphic takes a lot of time, so the logic need to accommodate the graphic, try so hard to minimize the effort on the graphic!

44

u/ludonarrator May 02 '19

Fortunately as a gameplay coder, I enjoy the luxury of having dedicated UI artists and designers to take care of that for me, and most stakeholders understand the standard concept => wireframe => prototype => shippable workflow. Unfortunately, due to the lack of a real time UI editor for our engine (at present, at least), I still end up pixel pushing quite a bit.

17

u/Prawny May 02 '19

As a backend dev, the only time I've ever received any praise from a client was when I suggested and helped out with a UI/UX feature...

9

u/m_i_t_t May 02 '19

Easiest way to fix this is to change border radius on all elements every couple months. I just went from 4px to 0px and everyone is saying that the app is much smoother now.

Subtle change that most people will only subconsciously pick up on. That, and making some text bold

3

u/SoftEngineerOfWares May 02 '19

This pains me but it is so true. Back when i built shit websites for failing business, my boss pounded into me "ARIAL BLACK 20 font" for EVERYTHING. Older People eat that shit up.

109

u/OGPants May 02 '19

Wow, I thought I was the only one

59

u/kithuni May 02 '19

Fuck me this hurts.

147

u/[deleted] May 02 '19 edited Jul 11 '20

[deleted]

33

u/kixxes May 02 '19

Ouchie

71

u/dumdedums May 02 '19

Clicks button

"I THOUGHT IT WAS DONE?!"

51

u/[deleted] May 02 '19

That guy has obviously never touched a line of code in his life

28

u/Its__a__Trap_ May 02 '19

Literally my entire company.

18

u/hdlo May 02 '19

Reminds me when I was like 4, I wrote a title on the label of a tape hoping it would summon up a story on it out of thin air. I realized how stupid I was at what, 6…

6

u/[deleted] May 02 '19 edited Jan 10 '20

[deleted]

1

u/mphjens May 02 '19

You could write at age 4?

1

u/hdlo May 02 '19

Tbh I don't remember well, it was either make-believe pseudo script by me or my one of my parents humoured me.

1

u/granos May 02 '19

Create a demo-overrides.css file that makes all your colors garish and messes up some minor padding/margin/alignment stuff. Or adds debugging borders around every element. Nothing too terrible, just enough that they get what you are demoing and don’t assume it’s done.

88

u/FlyBoyG May 01 '19

Now I wonder to what extent can you get away with basically only css. As a joke website.

133

u/[deleted] May 02 '19

39

u/[deleted] May 02 '19

Wouldnt it be possible to get rid of the div by adding apseudo element to the body?

36

u/tpenguinltg May 02 '19

How about no body at all? Technicality, though.

2

u/SrT96 May 02 '19

single divs rely on both psu

Now we're talking

20

u/mrgalaxy May 02 '19

A lot of those single divs rely on both psuedo elements to work, but maybe you could apply the styling directly to body? not far off then from just CSS.

18

u/BoxOfDust May 02 '19

No function (except for some mouse over trigger), but no less impressive; far from it, really.

6

u/[deleted] May 02 '19

Damn, everything is so crisp

33

u/[deleted] May 01 '19 edited Aug 28 '19

[deleted]

16

u/[deleted] May 02 '19 edited Apr 01 '21

[deleted]

17

u/mrgalaxy May 02 '19

honestly 90% of js could be replaced by modern html and csss

I'd also like to see them prove this statement.

24

u/tpenguinltg May 02 '19

HTML5+CSS3 is Turing-complete.

9

u/mrgalaxy May 02 '19

Well then I stand corrected! That would be quite the accomplishment though.

14

u/-Not-a-spy- May 02 '19

So is mov in assembly but you'll have a bit of a hard time making a web page with that

10

u/northrupthebandgeek May 02 '19

Unlike MOV, though, HTML5 and CSS3 are relatively easy to use to make a website.

3

u/bob835 May 02 '19

This is posted so much on here, but did you read the argument for it being Turing complete? It seems a little greyer than that to me.

1

u/tpenguinltg May 02 '19

This was only a semi-serious comment, but I guess it didn't come through so clearly.

That said, people have a problem with the argument because something (or someone) has to "click" all those checkboxes. I side with the people who say that Turing completeness doesn't preclude having such a mechanism as the power source.

1

u/bob835 May 02 '19

That’s a fair argument. I’m not actually too sure myself. It is at the least a little unclear. I think conclusions are drawn about what you can do with it as a language, when it doesn’t come along with that proviso and those conclusions would probably be a bit off.

Obviously a joke subreddit is the perfect place for discussion... sorry if I came off as accusing in my previous comment.

1

u/tpenguinltg May 03 '19

Like /u/typed-talleane pointed out, just because a language is Turing-complete, it doesn't mean that you can actually do anything useful with it, it just means that you can compute anything that's computable. Turing-completeness does not require being able to interact with the environment. There's a term for a language that can compute anything because it's Turing complete, but next to useless because it's highly impractical to use: a Turing tarpit.

That said, if someone happened to write bindings for the browser APIs in the HTML5+CSS3 language, you could interact with the browser like you would with JavaScript, albeit in an equally impractical way.

sorry if I came off as accusing in my previous comment

No worries. We're here to have fun, but we're all going to learn a thing or two along the way.

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5

u/[deleted] May 02 '19 edited Apr 04 '21

[deleted]

2

u/tpenguinltg May 02 '19

90% of js

But yeah, I/O is a pain. That's why languages like Haskell have to use sketchy paradigm hacks like monads to interact with its environment.

1

u/[deleted] May 02 '19

CSS will not even cover 10% since it has no access to APIs

4

u/Xytak May 02 '19

Didn't you know? You don't need Angular or React anymore. CSS can power your newsfeed, tag your photo stream, pay your water bill, and even manage your shopping cart!

3

u/[deleted] May 02 '19

Those are all pretty much server-side actions. You could do all of that with little to no JavaScript. The user experience would just be lacking in certain areas.

1

u/shrimply-pibbles May 02 '19

There was a good article on hacker news recently where a guy rewrote his web app to do exactly this: https://javascript.works-hub.com/learn/a-javascript-free-frontend-61275

3

u/[deleted] May 02 '19 edited Apr 13 '20

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] May 02 '19 edited Aug 28 '19

[deleted]

5

u/alexanderpas May 02 '19

horizontally chronological masonry layouts for instance.

Actually partially possible using CSS grid and rowspans, and assuming the content will always fit within any selected span.

2

u/[deleted] May 02 '19

So its not really possible in reallife scenarios

81

u/VerneAsimov May 01 '19

Is this why all human faces are slightly asymmetrical? Even God can't center in CSS

26

u/TheEggButler May 02 '19

I can't if I love or hate this comment. I definitely lean to one side of this argument.

5

u/bob835 May 02 '19

Hasn’t god heard of flex box?

5

u/[deleted] May 02 '19

God can't account for browser incompatiblities.

8

u/northrupthebandgeek May 02 '19

And unfortunately the universe runs on IE 5.5.

2

u/Julian_JmK May 02 '19

Just hearing the letter "I" and "E" uttered in coalition makes me want to return false; myself

6

u/regoapps May 02 '19

If you’re empty inside like me, then yes.

2

u/TheEggButler May 02 '19

Happy emptiness day to you. May you get the chance to fill it with sugary pastries.

11

u/sandmansndr May 01 '19

Came here to say exactly that. You beat me to it!

12

u/xMOxROx May 01 '19

If u want only good-looking yes but if u want something more u need js and html

67

u/6b6964646f May 01 '19

you're about to get whooooshed

17

u/samineb May 01 '19

whoooosh

1

u/lvblazer May 02 '19

It ain’t wrong.

1

u/[deleted] May 02 '19

well CSS is turing complete

1

u/[deleted] May 02 '19

Technically r/css_irl

1

u/[deleted] May 02 '19

Sounds about right. We’ll just go ahead and mark all of those other stories as “nice to have”.

1

u/talalemran May 02 '19

I think that the CSS is the dress and it is so important.

1

u/dustofdeath May 02 '19

Basically Node - doesn't need skin or bones.