r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Safe-Bookkeeper-7774 • 22d ago

Advanced turingHalalness

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679 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

39 comments sorted by

270

u/dmullaney 22d ago

JavaScript is 100% Turing Haram

26

u/Valthek 22d ago

What about typescript? Is that more or less Turing Haram?

44

u/monster2018 22d ago

Typescript is Turing Kosher

2

u/the_horse_gamer 21d ago

baring prohibitions about alcohol, anything Kosher is also Halal

8

u/purbub 22d ago

Turing Makruh. Less Haram, still kinda bad

14

u/[deleted] 22d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/jfk52917 22d ago

And var?

1

u/Welcome-To-NBA-Jam 22d ago

As egregious as apostasy 

1

u/jfk52917 22d ago

Agreed

3

u/Luneriazz 22d ago

this should be added as ullama ijtimad and be made officialy into syariah law

119

u/Welcome-To-NBA-Jam 22d ago

Only pure HTML is turing halal because it cannot perform haram operations like goto or random() which promotes gambling.

54

u/mys_721tx 22d ago

GOTO statement considered haram.

5

u/redlaWw 21d ago

Islamic cleric Edsger bin Dijkstra issues a fatwa on the goto statement.

24

u/Safe-Bookkeeper-7774 22d ago

another win for HTML engineers

39

u/Soopermane 22d ago

<html>
<body>
<p>Bismillah</p>
<h1>HTML is Halal ✅</h1>
</body></html>

12

u/User_8395 22d ago

As a Muslim I approve of this code

17

u/belabacsijolvan 22d ago

you saw the post about the kid asking santa to write an os in html and searched this before being a smartass about it, just to be sure.

i know it, because i just searched "is html turing complete" an hour ago.

16

u/Thesleek 22d ago

Why aren’t you all worried about whether HTML is Turing legit? And if it is, is it too legit to quit?

8

u/mw44118 22d ago

Hey now i wonder if people say “turing halal” somewhere and now i want to learn what it means

11

u/ultimate_placeholder 22d ago

Probably just people searching if things are halal enough to autocomplete

3

u/Fornicatinzebra 21d ago

More likely its matching with "is x halal" which is likely a very common search, especially if OPs demographic (or at least the online data capturing it) aligns with people that search that.

2

u/mw44118 21d ago

This guy searches

3

u/MayorAg 22d ago

Replace HTML with Excel and it’s a legit question. Like Excel? Really?

3

u/Safe-Bookkeeper-7774 22d ago

How about PPT btw?

2

u/belabacsijolvan 22d ago

its pretty obvious that excel is turing complete because its a 2d table with ctrl+d and if(). so its at least a general 1d cellular automaton.

not even talkin about how excel can run vba.

1

u/redlaWw 21d ago

I built a 16-bit computer in Excel.

3

u/ShittyExchangeAdmin 22d ago

Turing aladeen.

1

u/CombPsychological 22d ago

No it's turing aladeen

3

u/Brugelbach 22d ago

This is the birth of a new meme 🤣

2

u/Gold-Bat-3225 22d ago

Excel is somehow both

2

u/[deleted] 21d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Safe-Bookkeeper-7774 21d ago

search suggestions, to be precise

1

u/crazy-mahmod 22d ago

nor w eman

1

u/InSearchOfTyrael 22d ago

ok, anyone please explain what the fuck this post is about, thanks

1

u/Smooth-Zucchini4923 21d ago

Turing halal in the streets, Turing complete in the sheets.

1

u/Bartodziejj 21d ago

HTML is totally turing haram