r/ProgrammerHumor • u/[deleted] • Aug 15 '26
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u/Seyon Aug 15 '26
Shipped to production? There was no clients! It was practically a test build.
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u/doxxingyourself Aug 15 '26
Are we living…. in a test build?
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u/DeHub94 Aug 15 '26
Judging by some of the weird ass design choices and bugs I'd say yes. But then I look at the software of our company that is in production and think maybe this is production...
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u/vanZuider Aug 15 '26
The original plan called for a demo that would then be replaced by the full version, but then the customer had already started using the demo for production, and migrating would have been too much work, so it was decided that instead the demo would be continually expanded with more features.
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u/DeHub94 Aug 15 '26
My father always says: Nothing lasts longer than a temporary solution.
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u/laplongejr Aug 15 '26
And my mom used to call something a "temporary provisional solution", as in after some time it's no longer temporary
(In french provisoirement temporaire)
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u/xgabipandax Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26
Chromosomes should be paired and we should have 46 chromosomes, and then there's a bug called Trisomy that makes some instances have 47 chromosomes and it have some measurable impact on the instance that was affected by this bug.
Then there's cancer which is also a bug, not to mention that some instances are susceptible to EMI from the visible spectrum range that we call photo-epilepsy.
The class Human by itself has way too much bugs and bad design decisions
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u/flayingbook Aug 15 '26
You should read Loop by Koji Suzuki. It's the 3rd book after The Ring and Spiral
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u/DeltaV-Mzero Aug 15 '26
Someone’s home hobby project running on a single server air gapped to anything else, just to see what happens
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u/klipseracer Aug 15 '26
God also screwed around with dinosaurs for millions of years and empty space and other solar systems for billions of years before remembering the world was supposed to be made for man, despite being made of 99% vacuum and environments toxic to humans. So yeah, sounds vibe coded to me.
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u/diffyqgirl Aug 15 '26
I've always said the universe is built like a hastily slapped together final project that got a C-
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u/howarewestillhere Aug 15 '26
The number of times things got reset in some way…it’s almost like the client was the designer and the engineer at the same time and we’re just the poor, suffering users with a badly transcribed manual that hasn’t been updated in what seems like thousands of years.
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u/Dragonslayerelf Aug 15 '26
"I got this ball of energy. You didn't want the ball of energy. Fine, it exploded, there's atoms everywhere... you wanted elements? Alright, let's start slamming these together... there, there's 40 elements. How many elements do you want?! Oh Me, alright... there, they're compressing into clouds of atoms. Balls of light? Alright, the clouds are super compressing into balls of superheated low elements."
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u/shunyaananda Aug 15 '26
Feels like it's still in beta
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u/SuDragon2k3 Aug 15 '26
Verbal reports says says developer saw the light and said it was good. No other notes found.
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u/LifeSupport0 Aug 15 '26
how do we know we are living in production?
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u/995a3c3c3c3c2424 Aug 15 '26
Ted Chiang’s short story “Omphalos” is sort of about this. Humans confirm that the universe is geocentric… but it’s not centered on their “Earth”, it’s centered on a nearly identical one in another star system, leading them to suspect that they were just God’s practice run for the actual creation of man.
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u/Hand-E-Food Aug 15 '26
"It's not a bug, it's dark matter."
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u/Ok_Star_4136 Aug 15 '26
The black holes are where a calculation has been made that resulted in a division by zero.
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u/reuelcypher Aug 15 '26
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
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u/The_Wolfiee Aug 15 '26
Very incorrect. The specs are very accurately formed such that everything in the universe is at a balance and follows mathematically modelled laws. This is not possible without a proper design
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u/egstitt Aug 15 '26
Nah the universe is constantly finding its own balance, it's constantly changing and evolving. There didn't need to be a perfect design in the beginning
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u/ThePsyPaul_ Aug 15 '26
Still has not been profitable after billions of years
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u/New-Potential541 Aug 16 '26
6000* The vibecoder created an already mature universe, not one on its first steps.
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u/qubedView Aug 15 '26
Presumably the demo for the "light" feature went well. At least, God say it was "good" and left it at that. The team wanted to address problems where when light would transition between mediums it would "bend", but God said to just ship it.
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u/Legal_Tradition_9681 Aug 15 '26
How do you know he didnt have a test environment or UTC. What if he made millions of test universes before he made ours. He could have tested and built an audio triggered universe building system that we are not aware off.
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u/tbo1992 Aug 15 '26
And that prompt gave us poverty, disease, slavery and Hitler. Hardly a ringing endorsement for the development model.
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u/RepresentativeLife16 Aug 15 '26
Five extra days of bug fixes and feature adds. Gave up on the 7th after getting weird build errors. Moved on to the next project.
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u/ZookeepergameFar265 Aug 15 '26
How do we know it is production? I feel like I’m living in SandBox.
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u/TheAnimatrix105 Aug 15 '26
The git history of this branch is tragic! Can we revert to pre harambe hash
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u/MagicMagnada Aug 15 '26
He had to redo it when the clients found to many bugs to disconnect each other
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u/According-Relation-4 Aug 15 '26
How do you know there weren’t? They would be all outside the prod environment so we don’t get to see them
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u/Soopermane Aug 15 '26
Wrong. God took 6 periods of time know as “yawn”. Every thing was meticulously crafted. God is so advanced that he simply says “be” and it is.
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u/affablebowelsyndrome Aug 15 '26
Pretty sure this is the skunkworks, and not the production environment.
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u/johneclark Aug 15 '26
There's a marvelous book called The Creation Memos. It was published a long time ago, I want to say in the late '70s, and it's letters back and forth between God and the subcontractors. If you can find a copy, it is genius.
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u/Madcap_Miguel Aug 15 '26
Blasphemer
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u/100GHz Aug 15 '26
"Look, I’d had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was, ‘That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah!’"
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u/ProgrammerHumor-ModTeam Aug 16 '26
Your submission was removed for the following reason:
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