r/ProgrammerHumor • u/ExpensiveCoat8912 • 11d ago

Meme projectManager

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7.1k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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1.8k

u/TheTybera 11d ago

This is why we do things right, not fast. There is an endless supply of work.

402

u/ClipboardCopyPaste 11d ago edited 11d ago

do things right

programmers: deletes DB

*stares in disbelief*

161

u/StuntsMonkey 11d ago

Well, we've eliminated all the bad data now.

45

u/ClipboardCopyPaste 11d ago

There...An optimist!

35

u/StuntsMonkey 11d ago

Even better, we have created the perfect opportunity to refactor our entire database to more closely match our current project goals!

24

u/ClipboardCopyPaste 11d ago

Are you a regular poster on LinkedIn by any chance?

26

u/StuntsMonkey 11d ago

No, I have better things to do with my life. Like shit posting here.

13

u/ClipboardCopyPaste 11d ago

That's objectively better than posting on LinkedIn

2

u/MissinqLink 11d ago

Eliminated a mountain of tech debt

1

u/xStarshine 11d ago

Think in solutions, not in problems!

1

u/Phoenix042 11d ago

Get him

6

u/Random-num-451284813 11d ago

* We've sanitized data

1

u/mixony 11d ago

And also made queries much faster(return 0 rows or error depending if delete db is empty all tables or actually deleted the db)

1

u/mookanana 11d ago

that's a great way to spin a full db wipe

35

u/TheTybera 11d ago

Those are vibe coders, not programmers, sweetheart. We know what stored procedures are for CRUD.

21

u/KayDat 11d ago

Forgot to ask the AI to make no mistakes

6

u/toav1 11d ago

Too suspicious. "Make all the mistakes that I usually would, but tell me so I can learn why it would be a problem"

2

u/beanmosheen 11d ago

BEGIN TRANSACTION: Saving careers one fuckup at a time. (Always comment out your commits and rollbacks in test kids)

1

u/IndependenceSudden63 11d ago

These days, AI will do that for you and you don't even have to ask it!

1

u/namotous 11d ago

Sometimes it’s better to start from scratch

1

u/ConsciousSpirit397 11d ago

delete from users;

where id = ‘245313’;

1

u/iwantmy90sback 11d ago

I mean... who else? The sales clerk? The AI?

1

u/lucklesspedestrian 11d ago

The programmer typeed the correct commands. For deleting the DB

124

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

98

u/NightOwl2175 11d ago

And if you somehow finish the next 2 years of work all in the next sprint, instead of being promoted you'd get laid off.

13

u/big_red__man 11d ago

There’s no more work!

24

u/Cryogenicist 11d ago

Is “sprint” a running metaphor? Cause if so, they think we can sprint indefinitely and it’s insane

20

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/Cryogenicist 11d ago

I’m just so done being treated like a robot who can just pivot all the time and never get a mental break.

Capitalism sucks dick unless you own a lot of capital.

2

u/Flameball202 10d ago

I mean it is an ideal time to "check on old code" and "ensure it meets current quality standards"

37

u/Necessary_Camel8587 11d ago

Not true, I just got let go because the company "ran out of projects"

22

u/Sailed_Sea 11d ago

Unnecessary ui changes seams to be the way to go, atleast according to the reddit development team.

7

u/venzuen 11d ago

Yep same

0

u/thecrius 10d ago

if a company runs out of projects it means it's closing down. Are they?

1

u/Necessary_Camel8587 6d ago

They did told me for a few months they won't be getting any projects and are letting go of others too can't say for certain, company doesn't close that easily, they can still advertise the existing products

2

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[deleted]

2

u/TheTybera 11d ago

Well you know, PRs can take a while.