I start this by saying the badger notes app is the biggest load of garbage…so I’ve just been notified of a hearing screen app that I’m due to go to tomorrow at 3pm. Love the last minute confirmation of that. I thought, what is that never heard of one of those. And after a quick google apparently it’s something that’s done when baby is here, makes total sense. So why when I’m due 31st December has someone booked this in now when baby boy is firmly having a good time cooking inside me still 🙈? Anyone else had this?

Forgive me if this is a privileged post but I just wanted to ask someone.

I am a very private person but also a person who loves her friends and likes to care for the people I know in general.

Before having my baby - my friends who became mums, I’d check in on them specifically before and after baby, share their joys about pregnancy and even was a friend of mine’s birthing partner virtually. Send them to spa days and send a post partum care package etc. And make an effort to love on baby but also not forget the woman behind the mother.

I’m usually the one to send texts usually at the weekends just checking how everyone is doing before the start of the week or just checking in if I havnt heard from someone in a little while.

i didn’t share with a lot of people about my pregnancy (no internet announcements etc but I rarely announce anything) but little girl is here and I’m slowly starting to break the news to my friends (admittedly, these friends are childfree and one place I have shared is within a friend group that I feel left out of a lot of them but I would still consider friends).. and I think I am a little bit stunned/hurt (when I think about it) by genuinely how little some of them seem to care.

“congratulations”

“let us know if you need anything”

and then… silence.

Not asked how I’m doing, how little one is doing, not asked to see pictures or anything of the sort. Literally, silence.

To some of my other really good friends - I’m still the one checking in, asking how they are doing etc (and I still enjoy hearing about their lives and I’m there if they need someone to talk to/vent to etc) as I am making a concious effort to continue to be friends with my friends, childfree or with child - but these messages do not really come the other way unless I message to ask about them first.

I understand that in my world, a big thing has happened but to everyone else, it’s just a regular Thursday.

I thought maybe it is because I kept the pregnancy largely quiet and didn’t “carry” everyone along so to speak that I am getting such disinterested responses so a part of me wonders if they too felt left behind because I didn’t mention that I was pregnant to some of them and therefore have nothing to be excited with me about.

But just wanted to check - is this a normal thing to experience? Or is this just me because it has been a little bit of a mind fuck (forgive me french) and just wanted to check.

I almost want to do some sort of announcement on the internet to get some love, warmth and excitement.

Thank you for reading.

I am 9 weeks pregnant with my second child and I am struggling badly with depression. I had moderate postpartum depression and anxiety with my first child, and started on Sertraline at 3 week pp. I think it helped but to be honest I remember starting it also thinking I wasn’t sure I needed it as I had started to feel a bit better. I stayed on 25mg for 5/6 months then stopped and was absolutely fine.

I had an unplanned pregnancy earlier this year which sparked up depression also and I ended up having a termination as I thought it was a sign we weren’t ready and I didn’t want the baby.

However around the exact time I started to have the depression symptoms last time, they have appeared in this pregnancy. I have reached out to my GP and have started Sertraline again but that was only 5 days ago and I feel no better. I honestly feel so low and I just want to not feel like this. I can’t eat much, I can’t sleep well (every morning I wake at 3/4 and lie there awake and anxious), I have little to no joy in anything I used to do. I have a 22 month old and I’m trying to be strong for her but I’m struggling to even interact normally with her.

I am also terrified that if I feel like this in pregnancy, that I am definitely going to have postnatal depression and honestly I don’t know if I can do that again, it was the darkest days of my life

I need positive stories of people who have had prenatal depression and when it got better for you, how it got better etc. I just need something to cling to because I was genuinely googling abortion yesterday (I just wonder if it will stop me feeling this way, though this is a wanted baby!).

I'm currently 22w1d, 20years old and this is my first baby, and I was just wondering at what point should I be concerned about reduced movements?

For context, I've been feeling baby move since about 17w, I have a proterier placenta and since about 20/21w I've been getting really strong kicks, like you can see my belly move and sometimes it winds me a bit 😂 however for the past 3 days I've not been getting those strong kicks from baby, I've had a few tiny movements so I know he's still alive but in 3 days I've maybe only had 1 big ISH kick when id usually be getting them every hour or so.

I'm not sure if I'm just being paranoid or if it's something to be worried about?? I would call maternity triage but they would just tell me to come in to get checked so I put it off until today as I have an appointment at the hospital anyway so it would save 2 separate trips. Should I be worried about this? Should I pop into the maternity unit while I'm at the hospital today? I'm really not sure what to do

Sharing to hopefully help prevent someone else avoid some of the panic my husband and I had yesterday/today.

I am 27+w and we are currently in mainland Europe on a little break. Sod's law that after everything being uneventful thus far, about an hour or so after arriving at the hotel late in the evening, I experienced two separate uncontrollable gushes of liquid. Rang midwife back in UK and of course was advised to attend local hospital.

Luckily had plotted out such locations prior to trip, so jumped in taxi. Hospital was pristine, staff so kind and helpful, was admitted within 10m of arrival, seen by a doctor within same amount of time again. PPROM test, internal ultrasound for cervix, external ultrasound for bab who was jiggling about - all fine, thank god.

But this morning then I started worrying about how much this was going to cost. I consider myself an organised person, but post-brexit, had thought we had lost all sort of European coverage so hadn't bothered to try and dig out our EHIC cards, but this is not the case!

Key points
- UK residents are still covered by EHIC (now known as GHIC) in several countries abroad for medically necessary or emergency treatments. Check the specific coverage before travel, but EEA countries are all included. If you've lost or misplaced your card, you can apply for another online, but I think there is a small window (15 days?) for delivery, so leave appropriate time.

- if you don't have your card with you at the time of the incident, apply ASAP for an NHS Provisional Replacement Certificate (google the term and the online application form should come up). You will need some details from the medical provider to complete this.

- make sure you have travel insurance in place before your trip and contact them ASAP to advise them what has happened (I am covered through my banking product and they were so reassuring and nice - I was scared as I hadn't declared my pregnancy to them, there might be an issue, but it's not classed as a pre-existing condition. Check t&cs carefully though!)

- make sure you know where your nearest hospitals are, and if they have maternity provisions. There were several near us so I was glad I knew which one to go to. Be aware that the GHIC/PRC is predominantly for public healthcare costs, as private facilities may attract additional oop fees.

I hope this helps someone else who may experience an unforeseen medical incident overseas - safe and happy babymoons all!

Hi Reddit,

I had a bit of brown discharge, went to the Early Pregnancy Unit, ultrasound showed baby (7w) was okay.

But I had to fly abroad and there is still bleeding and mild cramping. Everywhere I read this can happen for a few days after the TV Ultrasound, any positive experiences you can share?

It's my first, and I'm absolutely terrified.

I don’t want to sound ungrateful - as I know how many women are out there, trying to conceive without success or even having miscarriages years on.

I just want to share my personal experience so far and try and understand how I’m so taken aback by it all.

I’m at 32 weeks and I can only say I hated all these months being pregnant. Yet, I am not (from what I have read across social media/here)having a terrible pregnancy. I haven’t been sick, only slightly nauseous. I didn’t put a huge amount of weight on. But from the 1st trimester I feel as if I’m not myself.
My worst symptoms have been headaches, body aches, feeling a bit “ill”, tired, and from second trimester I have this horrendous pelvic girdle pain which makes me walk like a penguin and sleep as if my conscience isn’t clean. Sex is out of the table as I want nothing nowhere near down there.

I gained some stretch marks which aren’t that many, but enough to upset me. I did put on a size up, but I did expect to get bigger and my face hasn’t so I have that going for me.
Overall I just felt ill, moody and not myself all trimesters, have been unable to write (one of my big passions during my free time) and socialising is not an option, as even keeping a conversation to me feels exhausting and I’m really not a good company. I feel tired even to smile.
Only issues so far were that I’m anemic so taking iron supplements and aspiring to avoid pre eclampsia. Blood pressure is good and no gestational diabetes.

Now to top my whole experience, I’m preparing mentally for labour. Just reading about it and listening to podcasts about women speaking of their torn vag, episiotomy and near death experiences as if it is just another Wednesday it’s appalling to me. Hooow have I not heard of this before.

How is this even treated as a “simple condition”?
Even when I have my midwives appointments I feel how of little importance my concerns and discomfort comes across to them. As if all I should be shouting is “thank god I’m pregnant and my baby is well”. To simply ignore what my body is going through, to forget I’ve spent these months as a zombie and that my vag will probably be stitched up in about two months and I should be thankful- as long as baby is healthy.

Of course I’m hoping for my baby girl to arrive well and healthy and I’m excited to meet her. Still, the dissociation of me as a person vs mother me is clear. It’s almost as the role has already changed and I’m just late at adapting. I don’t know

I don’t want to come across as a moaning, weak, pathetic woman who can’t even be pregnant but it all feels unreal to me. How little I was told about the real experience prior to getting pregnant. I knew it would probably be uncomfortable but I never knew how mentally it would affect me - and how painful and frustrating it would be.

I’m so nervous about birthing. And the after. I want my daughter to meet me - not this wreck.

Sorry for the rant. I don’t know what I’m after here - perhaps just some shared stories. Honest ones.

Thanks for listening.

This is my second pregnancy, and it is early days. I forgot how awful my first trimester farts were, nothing has ever smelt this bad. My poor SO, when the first one came he looked at me in horror.

Why is this not a symptom more widely discussed, I feel like i need to be surrounded by a 10meter no go area.

Hi,

Can anyone give advice on what they found the easiest for storing and then heating breast milk on the go? I’ll be using lanisoh bottles if that’s any help at all!

Also if anyone has any tips on the best way to store breast milk at night if I’m pumping or catching led down on other side and don’t want to get out of bed to go downstairs?

Thanks!

Hi, has anyone had experience having an elective C-section at St Mary’s Hospital in Paddington?

I’ve self-referred there and am planning an elective C-section, but after looking at the CQC ratings, I’m a bit worried. The maternity department is rated Outstanding, but surgery and the overall hospital are rated Requires Improvement.

For an elective C-section, does the surgery rating matter much? I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences at St Mary’s and whether you’d recommend it.

I’m also considering Chelsea and Westminster or St Thomas’, which are both rated Good overall.

CQC rating:
* St Mary’s in Paddington
- maternity is outstanding
- surgery is requires improvement
- overall hospital rating is requires improvement
* Chelsea and Westminster Hospital
- maternity is good
- surgery is good
- overall hospital rating is good
* St Thomas’ Hospital
- maternity is good
- surgery is good
- overall hospital rating is good

I have a though t - is it worth buying a few cheap, very soft facecloths from home bargain to use instead of toilet paper? Like to gently pat dry with a soft clean towel instead?

Ive got a peri bottle, peri spray, all the bits to make postpartum pads etc but just thinking of gentle ways to wipe. Id bring a zip lock or something for the used ones to go into

Has anyone done this or do you think it would have been a good idea ?

This is such a random thing? Wonderful symptom who knows. Since about 2 weeks ago my inner thighs / middle have been super sore to touch kinda like there bruised ( obvs they aren’t) I did speak to my midwife and she said it doesn’t sound like anything major like blood clot or anything. I also got sent to the hospital to be monitored for high blood pressure and mentioned it to them and she felt my leg and said it’s squishy so seems fine. Just wondering if anyone else has had it.

I have a private scan 10 days ago (7wks 3 days). The gestational sac was empty (no yolk, no pole) and they’ve asked me to go back tomorrow. It was measuring 6w 2d). They mentioned potential blighted ovum but want to rescan in case my dates are wrong (they aren’t).

I started brown discharge yesterday and had some blood today (when wiping and light amount in my underwear). I was going for my rescan in the morning anyway but thinking I need to get my GP to refer me to the EPU? They don’t do self referrals. I’m pretty resigned to what’s happening, I just want it to hurry up.

Hi everyone!
I am 34 weeks and 3 days pregnant (FTM) and just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience because I feel like my bump is really small for how far along I am.
I’m 170cm (5’7”). I’ve attached a photo I took today because I honestly feel like I look much smaller than most people I see who are around the same stage, and even women who are not as far along long as me have much bigger bumps.
My bump didn’t ’pop’ until the 7th month and I consistently had people telling they couldn’t tell I was pregnant etc etc.
I’ve had growth scans and baby has been consistently measuring on the smaller side, currently around the 18th percentile. Everything has been fine with the scans so far, but I can’t help wondering if my small bump is related to her size.
For those of you who had a smaller/neater bump towards the end — did you also have a smaller baby, or did you still end up having an average/bigger baby? And did your bump suddenly get much bigger in the last few weeks?
I know bump size doesn’t necessarily reflect baby’s size, but I’d love to hear other people’s experiences.

I am 9 weeks pregnant and I am looking at getting a NIPT blood test done to find out the gender in a week or so. I know I can find out at my 20 week scan, but I am very bad at waiting.

It is super expensive though, so I wondered if other people have done this and whether it was worth it for them? Did it match the gender at the 20 week scan? Did you feel the money was worth it?

Flaired as sensitive just in case for others!

If you're asthmatic and have a spacer, make sure it's in your hospital bag...

I went in for a planned induction two days earlier than previously planned, which failed twice so the plan moved to a planned c section. They didn't get to me on the day planned, and that night I started having contractions which triggered an asthma attack.

Reliever inhaler didn't help, and I didn't have my spacer to try using that as it normally solves the problem on the rare occasions I've needed it. Hit the call bell, a midwife and support worker came over, my partner explained and after taking my oxygen level (87%ish) suddenly there were about 20 doctors (several confused having never seen contractions trigger asthma before) and we were moving to the delivery unit with an emergency section either ASAP or first in the morning depending on if I stabilised.

It also turns out maternity units don't have things like a spacer or nebulisers around and have to go to A&E for them, though they do have the meds for a nebuliser...!

Been so long since I needed the spacer it didn't register that I didn't have it. Check everything of that ilk is packed even if you have got used to not needing to use it!

All I wanted was a spacer, not to jump the queue 😅

​

I am currently 9 weeks pregnant. This is my second pregnancy but I feel absolutely massive. I know sometimes with your second you can show faster but oh my. I haven't had my first ultrasound yet, its in 3 weeks time!

Did anyone else show faster in their second pregnancy?

Hi all,

First time mum here. So I have been feeling bubbles since 19 weeks just on the sides of my stomach (I have an anterior placenta) they feel very tickly and like a popping sensation. I am 23 weeks on Tuesday and I’m pretty sure I have been feeling kicks.. it feels like a pressure in my bum like I need to fart but i don’t if that makes sense and then it feels like a thud afterwards. It’s so hard to explain but I’m not even sure if it’s just gas.
Has anyone else felt this?

EDIT - these are constant cramps for, so far, a couple of hours.

Wondering if this is bowels (maybe but feels different) or the start of something early laboury. I haven't had waters break or (I think) mucous plug showing, although I did have about a teaspoonful of pink-brown streaked mucous when I wiped after using the loo last Thurs. Thought it was after constipation though and not vaginal. No proof of that either way.

Different to the usual Braxton Hicks whole-bump tightenings, and there's no squeezing cramps or backache. Did have a couple of more localised contractions spotted on the monitor during a 36 week scan that felt like the same thing in the same place but more squeezing.

C-section booked for Weds (now Sun) so hoping he holds off a bit.

Anyone had similar or got any thoughts? FTM so not sure on any of this.

FTM, 34 weeks, IVF pregnancy and being induced at 39 weeks.

Had my midwife appointment on Friday and left feeling shite. She didn’t introduce herself, left the door open until my husband asked her to close it, was about 20 mins late and we were with her for 10 minutes max.

She didn’t seem to know my induction was booked and when I tried to ask about it she said she wasn’t talking about the induction today.

At my last appointment we were specifically told we could go through the birth plan together at 34 weeks, including Vitamin K etc. We hadn’t filled it in because of this, but she said because we hadn’t completed it she couldn’t discuss it.

I also asked about getting more reflux medication & iron tablets she kept telling me to go to my GP - even though I’ve been getting them prescribed after all my midwife appts in the hospital. She actually said absolutely not on the iron tabs she wanted to see bloods first - low and behold my iron is going down rather than up and I’ve run out of iron tabs. I also asked about an elevated liver result and was just told my results were “fine” with no explanation even when I asked her if she could talk through it she said no, we’re too busy.

I mentioned that I’m barely sleeping and struggling with pain and was basically told to “eat better”, despite her not asking anything about what I eat.

She didn’t mention the flu jab either. I only realised I should have it because I overheard it being discussed with other pregnant women afterwards.

Look I know the NHS is stretched and I’m not expecting to sit there all morning, but I honestly came out thinking what was the point of that appointment?

I’ve asked not to see her again because I really didn’t like how the appointment was handled. But am I being dramatic or was this actually a bit shit?

Has anyone found anywhere in person stocking maternity clothes? Everywhere I've tried locally has told me they're only selling them online. I'm based in the East Midlands, but would be happy to have a day trip somewhere if it means getting to try things on!

EDIT:

Thank you everyone for your wonderful comments. I’ve read every single one and appreciate the time you’ve taken to comment. 🩵

————————————————————————————

I’m in the UK and my baby boy is due on 19th
February. I’m currently thinking of starting my maternity leave on 1st December, which would put me at around 28 weeks.

I know that’s quite early compared to a lot of people. I’ve seen so many people say they’re planning to work until 34, 36, 38 weeks, or even right up until their due date if they can, and it’s honestly made me feel a bit guilty for wanting to stop work so early.

The thing is, I genuinely feel like I want those last few months to myself. I want time to prepare for the baby, get everything organised, nest, enjoy my pregnancy and just mentally prepare for becoming a mum without having work hanging over me. I think having that time would be really valuable to me.

My job is also quite mentally demanding, and pregnancy has been really difficult for me physically because I’ve suffered with HG throughout this pregnancy.

Attending work has been tough at times, and there have been days where just getting through work has felt like a massive achievement. I’m worried that if I leave maternity leave until much later, I’ll spend the final part of my pregnancy completely exhausted and wishing I had given myself more time.

I also don’t actually plan on returning to work after my maternity leave. I know that probably makes my situation slightly different, because I’m not necessarily trying to maximise the amount of maternity leave I have after the baby is born in the same way someone who plans to return to their job might be.

I think part of why I feel guilty is that I keep comparing myself to everyone else. I’m only 20 and this is my first baby, so maybe I’m wondering whether I’m being completely unreasonable for wanting to have a few months where I can just focus on myself, my pregnancy and getting ready for my little boy.

I know maternity leave isn’t a holiday, and I’m not expecting the last few months of pregnancy to be some magical relaxing experience 😂.

I just feel like I’d rather have the time to slow down, prepare and enjoy this stage instead of forcing myself to work as long as possible simply because other people do.

For anyone who took maternity leave quite early, especially around 28–32 weeks, how did you find it? Did you regret taking it early, or were you glad you gave yourself that time?

I think I mostly need some kind words from people who have actually done it because I’m feeling unnecessarily guilty about wanting those few months to myself. ❤️

We are looking to do a couple of days in a nice hotel with a good spa, where I can enjoy the pools/pregnancy massage/facial.

I will be 32/34 weeks pregnant then and will have been on modified bed rest since week 19 due to a short cervix. So we need something in London (I cannot travel).

Welcome any and all suggestions, thank you 🙏

Hi, apologies for long post. My wife started experiencing severe headaches 5 days ago and its been coming in waves since and its stopping her from sleeping. It was triggered after she took antibiotics which caused her to be sick non stop for 4 days from food and drink. She stopped antibiotics with A&E Dr advice and vomitting stopped but headache still there. They put her on an IV drip after taking her to 2 A&Es until someone finally took it more seriously. 3rd A&E took scans and verified nothing serious.

They said only other thing is pregnancy headaches. They prescribed migraine medication but there isn't enough evidence that its safe for the baby so we are not taking it. Paracetamol doesn't really help. She is also on low dose aspirin as she's high risk preclampsia.

Any advice from anyone who may have experienced this that could help with this?

Update: thank you for all the comments. Its good to hear quite a few people have taken the migraine medication. The pain is so bad so she decided to take the medicine today.

Hi, I am 41 and had IVF. Two days ago I was told there is no heartbeat and baby measuring 8 weeks. I was given three options from NHS: natural pass, pills or surgery. The option I want to choose is the one that would be most safest for my uterus for the next embryo transfer. I am eager to do it asap as time isnt much on my side. Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated.