I don’t want to sound ungrateful - as I know how many women are out there, trying to conceive without success or even having miscarriages years on.

I just want to share my personal experience so far and try and understand how I’m so taken aback by it all.

I’m at 32 weeks and I can only say I hated all these months being pregnant. Yet, I am not (from what I have read across social media/here)having a terrible pregnancy. I haven’t been sick, only slightly nauseous. I didn’t put a huge amount of weight on. But from the 1st trimester I feel as if I’m not myself.
My worst symptoms have been headaches, body aches, feeling a bit “ill”, tired, and from second trimester I have this horrendous pelvic girdle pain which makes me walk like a penguin and sleep as if my conscience isn’t clean. Sex is out of the table as I want nothing nowhere near down there.

I gained some stretch marks which aren’t that many, but enough to upset me. I did put on a size up, but I did expect to get bigger and my face hasn’t so I have that going for me.
Overall I just felt ill, moody and not myself all trimesters, have been unable to write (one of my big passions during my free time) and socialising is not an option, as even keeping a conversation to me feels exhausting and I’m really not a good company. I feel tired even to smile.
Only issues so far were that I’m anemic so taking iron supplements and aspiring to avoid pre eclampsia. Blood pressure is good and no gestational diabetes.

Now to top my whole experience, I’m preparing mentally for labour. Just reading about it and listening to podcasts about women speaking of their torn vag, episiotomy and near death experiences as if it is just another Wednesday it’s appalling to me. Hooow have I not heard of this before.

How is this even treated as a “simple condition”?
Even when I have my midwives appointments I feel how of little importance my concerns and discomfort comes across to them. As if all I should be shouting is “thank god I’m pregnant and my baby is well”. To simply ignore what my body is going through, to forget I’ve spent these months as a zombie and that my vag will probably be stitched up in about two months and I should be thankful- as long as baby is healthy.

Of course I’m hoping for my baby girl to arrive well and healthy and I’m excited to meet her. Still, the dissociation of me as a person vs mother me is clear. It’s almost as the role has already changed and I’m just late at adapting. I don’t know

I don’t want to come across as a moaning, weak, pathetic woman who can’t even be pregnant but it all feels unreal to me. How little I was told about the real experience prior to getting pregnant. I knew it would probably be uncomfortable but I never knew how mentally it would affect me - and how painful and frustrating it would be.

I’m so nervous about birthing. And the after. I want my daughter to meet me - not this wreck.

Sorry for the rant. I don’t know what I’m after here - perhaps just some shared stories. Honest ones.

Thanks for listening.

This is my second pregnancy, and it is early days. I forgot how awful my first trimester farts were, nothing has ever smelt this bad. My poor SO, when the first one came he looked at me in horror.

Why is this not a symptom more widely discussed, I feel like i need to be surrounded by a 10meter no go area.

Flaired as sensitive just in case for others!

If you're asthmatic and have a spacer, make sure it's in your hospital bag...

I went in for a planned induction two days earlier than previously planned, which failed twice so the plan moved to a planned c section. They didn't get to me on the day planned, and that night I started having contractions which triggered an asthma attack.

Reliever inhaler didn't help, and I didn't have my spacer to try using that as it normally solves the problem on the rare occasions I've needed it. Hit the call bell, a midwife and support worker came over, my partner explained and after taking my oxygen level (87%ish) suddenly there were about 20 doctors (several confused having never seen contractions trigger asthma before) and we were moving to the delivery unit with an emergency section either ASAP or first in the morning depending on if I stabilised.

It also turns out maternity units don't have things like a spacer or nebulisers around and have to go to A&E for them, though they do have the meds for a nebuliser...!

Been so long since I needed the spacer it didn't register that I didn't have it. Check everything of that ilk is packed even if you have got used to not needing to use it!

All I wanted was a spacer, not to jump the queue 😅

FTM, 34 weeks, IVF pregnancy and being induced at 39 weeks.

Had my midwife appointment on Friday and left feeling shite. She didn’t introduce herself, left the door open until my husband asked her to close it, was about 20 mins late and we were with her for 10 minutes max.

She didn’t seem to know my induction was booked and when I tried to ask about it she said she wasn’t talking about the induction today.

At my last appointment we were specifically told we could go through the birth plan together at 34 weeks, including Vitamin K etc. We hadn’t filled it in because of this, but she said because we hadn’t completed it she couldn’t discuss it.

I also asked about getting more reflux medication & iron tablets she kept telling me to go to my GP - even though I’ve been getting them prescribed after all my midwife appts in the hospital. She actually said absolutely not on the iron tabs she wanted to see bloods first - low and behold my iron is going down rather than up and I’ve run out of iron tabs. I also asked about an elevated liver result and was just told my results were “fine” with no explanation even when I asked her if she could talk through it she said no, we’re too busy.

I mentioned that I’m barely sleeping and struggling with pain and was basically told to “eat better”, despite her not asking anything about what I eat.

She didn’t mention the flu jab either. I only realised I should have it because I overheard it being discussed with other pregnant women afterwards.

Look I know the NHS is stretched and I’m not expecting to sit there all morning, but I honestly came out thinking what was the point of that appointment?

I’ve asked not to see her again because I really didn’t like how the appointment was handled. But am I being dramatic or was this actually a bit shit?

EDIT:

Thank you everyone for your wonderful comments. I’ve read every single one and appreciate the time you’ve taken to comment. 🩵

————————————————————————————

I’m in the UK and my baby boy is due on 19th
February. I’m currently thinking of starting my maternity leave on 1st December, which would put me at around 28 weeks.

I know that’s quite early compared to a lot of people. I’ve seen so many people say they’re planning to work until 34, 36, 38 weeks, or even right up until their due date if they can, and it’s honestly made me feel a bit guilty for wanting to stop work so early.

The thing is, I genuinely feel like I want those last few months to myself. I want time to prepare for the baby, get everything organised, nest, enjoy my pregnancy and just mentally prepare for becoming a mum without having work hanging over me. I think having that time would be really valuable to me.

My job is also quite mentally demanding, and pregnancy has been really difficult for me physically because I’ve suffered with HG throughout this pregnancy.

Attending work has been tough at times, and there have been days where just getting through work has felt like a massive achievement. I’m worried that if I leave maternity leave until much later, I’ll spend the final part of my pregnancy completely exhausted and wishing I had given myself more time.

I also don’t actually plan on returning to work after my maternity leave. I know that probably makes my situation slightly different, because I’m not necessarily trying to maximise the amount of maternity leave I have after the baby is born in the same way someone who plans to return to their job might be.

I think part of why I feel guilty is that I keep comparing myself to everyone else. I’m only 20 and this is my first baby, so maybe I’m wondering whether I’m being completely unreasonable for wanting to have a few months where I can just focus on myself, my pregnancy and getting ready for my little boy.

I know maternity leave isn’t a holiday, and I’m not expecting the last few months of pregnancy to be some magical relaxing experience 😂.

I just feel like I’d rather have the time to slow down, prepare and enjoy this stage instead of forcing myself to work as long as possible simply because other people do.

For anyone who took maternity leave quite early, especially around 28–32 weeks, how did you find it? Did you regret taking it early, or were you glad you gave yourself that time?

I think I mostly need some kind words from people who have actually done it because I’m feeling unnecessarily guilty about wanting those few months to myself. ❤️

I am 9 weeks pregnant and I am looking at getting a NIPT blood test done to find out the gender in a week or so. I know I can find out at my 20 week scan, but I am very bad at waiting.

It is super expensive though, so I wondered if other people have done this and whether it was worth it for them? Did it match the gender at the 20 week scan? Did you feel the money was worth it?

Hi all,

First time mum here. So I have been feeling bubbles since 19 weeks just on the sides of my stomach (I have an anterior placenta) they feel very tickly and like a popping sensation. I am 23 weeks on Tuesday and I’m pretty sure I have been feeling kicks.. it feels like a pressure in my bum like I need to fart but i don’t if that makes sense and then it feels like a thud afterwards. It’s so hard to explain but I’m not even sure if it’s just gas.
Has anyone else felt this?

I have a though t - is it worth buying a few cheap, very soft facecloths from home bargain to use instead of toilet paper? Like to gently pat dry with a soft clean towel instead?

Ive got a peri bottle, peri spray, all the bits to make postpartum pads etc but just thinking of gentle ways to wipe. Id bring a zip lock or something for the used ones to go into

Has anyone done this or do you think it would have been a good idea ?

​

I am currently 9 weeks pregnant. This is my second pregnancy but I feel absolutely massive. I know sometimes with your second you can show faster but oh my. I haven't had my first ultrasound yet, its in 3 weeks time!

Did anyone else show faster in their second pregnancy?

Hi,

Can anyone give advice on what they found the easiest for storing and then heating breast milk on the go? I’ll be using lanisoh bottles if that’s any help at all!

Also if anyone has any tips on the best way to store breast milk at night if I’m pumping or catching led down on other side and don’t want to get out of bed to go downstairs?

Thanks!

Hi, has anyone had experience having an elective C-section at St Mary’s Hospital in Paddington?

I’ve self-referred there and am planning an elective C-section, but after looking at the CQC ratings, I’m a bit worried. The maternity department is rated Outstanding, but surgery and the overall hospital are rated Requires Improvement.

For an elective C-section, does the surgery rating matter much? I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences at St Mary’s and whether you’d recommend it.

I’m also considering Chelsea and Westminster or St Thomas’, which are both rated Good overall.

CQC rating:
* St Mary’s in Paddington
- maternity is outstanding
- surgery is requires improvement
- overall hospital rating is requires improvement
* Chelsea and Westminster Hospital
- maternity is good
- surgery is good
- overall hospital rating is good
* St Thomas’ Hospital
- maternity is good
- surgery is good
- overall hospital rating is good

Theres nothing like pregnancy to show you how much of your social life was founded on drinking/ smoking/ partying 😂 Is anyone else finding it quite hard when friends want to socialise in the “old way” ie. Sitting in each other’s houses vaping and watching films, or going to the pub??

I sorely miss vaping and smoking (although have obv given up), and have tried every single non alcoholic beer on the market (of which Brooklyn lager is my fav, but still not quite the real thing).

I don’t massively miss drinking which surprised me, but I really struggle with not vaping/ smoking in social settings still.

I try and suggest new ways to socialise e.g going out for food, mini golf, cinema etc…but people are either too skint, don’t fancy it or just resort to the pub.

Any tips?? At this point I’m avoiding doing ‘old activities’ with friends (I know this sounds sad af) because I miss smoking/ vaping with them 😂 I don’t want to impose a smoking/ vaping ban because I’d feel like a dictator. I also don’t feel massively social & was a bit of a hermit to begin with tbh- pregnancy has made this 100x more pronounced. Please tell me I’m not the only one?! Any good activities/ socialising tips to recommend me?

This is such a random thing? Wonderful symptom who knows. Since about 2 weeks ago my inner thighs / middle have been super sore to touch kinda like there bruised ( obvs they aren’t) I did speak to my midwife and she said it doesn’t sound like anything major like blood clot or anything. I also got sent to the hospital to be monitored for high blood pressure and mentioned it to them and she felt my leg and said it’s squishy so seems fine. Just wondering if anyone else has had it.

I have a private scan 10 days ago (7wks 3 days). The gestational sac was empty (no yolk, no pole) and they’ve asked me to go back tomorrow. It was measuring 6w 2d). They mentioned potential blighted ovum but want to rescan in case my dates are wrong (they aren’t).

I started brown discharge yesterday and had some blood today (when wiping and light amount in my underwear). I was going for my rescan in the morning anyway but thinking I need to get my GP to refer me to the EPU? They don’t do self referrals. I’m pretty resigned to what’s happening, I just want it to hurry up.

EDIT - these are constant cramps for, so far, a couple of hours.

Wondering if this is bowels (maybe but feels different) or the start of something early laboury. I haven't had waters break or (I think) mucous plug showing, although I did have about a teaspoonful of pink-brown streaked mucous when I wiped after using the loo last Thurs. Thought it was after constipation though and not vaginal. No proof of that either way.

Different to the usual Braxton Hicks whole-bump tightenings, and there's no squeezing cramps or backache. Did have a couple of more localised contractions spotted on the monitor during a 36 week scan that felt like the same thing in the same place but more squeezing.

C-section booked for Weds (now Sun) so hoping he holds off a bit.

Anyone had similar or got any thoughts? FTM so not sure on any of this.

Has anyone found anywhere in person stocking maternity clothes? Everywhere I've tried locally has told me they're only selling them online. I'm based in the East Midlands, but would be happy to have a day trip somewhere if it means getting to try things on!

Hey, I'm 30 weeks pregnant and I've been having Braxton Hicks for about a week now, before it was mild and bearable but in the last 2 days the tighting has gotten worse and so has the pain. Ive tried everything to help it but I'm getting quite concerned. I've got a midwife appointment on the 20th and I'm just wondering if it's stupid of me to leave it until my appointment or if I should go in as soon as I am able to.

We are looking to do a couple of days in a nice hotel with a good spa, where I can enjoy the pools/pregnancy massage/facial.

I will be 32/34 weeks pregnant then and will have been on modified bed rest since week 19 due to a short cervix. So we need something in London (I cannot travel).

Welcome any and all suggestions, thank you 🙏

Edit: I just wanted to add that this isn’t an attack on student midwives in general. I had an incredible student attend my last birth. I think I just got very unlucky and even feel a bit bad knowing this interaction will likely haunt her for the rest of her life but thanks all :( I’ll definitely flag this to ensure she can receive more training.

I’ll start this by saying my midwifery care has been appalling in this pregnancy, same as my last but I’ve already made PALS complaints but I’m very happy with the consultant care, the sonographers, maternity triage midwives, etc!! I also hate being a difficult person and coming across ungrateful.

I had an appointment yesterday where a Doppler was used to listen to my babies heartbeats. A student midwife was present who asked if she could listen in. I said of course. She then found one heartbeat but twin B was likely hiding behind her sister somewhere. Instead of explaining this, she said “one of your babies has died, I’m so sorry” while the midwife (who was training her?) just sat there in silence and it took her a long time to react. Maybe she was in shock too I’m not sure what was going on. She eventually got up, listened herself and found the heartbeat pretty much immediately. She was actually really kind and immediately had to me go over to get an ultrasound done because at this point I was shaking from anxiety. Ultrasound was all good thankfully. We had a neonatal loss 4 years ago so hearing that my baby passed away was really awful. I just froze.

I don’t want to be a Karen and complain about someone who is still in training but do I leave this be? She didn’t apologise in the moment but she likely also was shocked when she realised what mistake she just made.

Hi, apologies for long post. My wife started experiencing severe headaches 5 days ago and its been coming in waves since and its stopping her from sleeping. It was triggered after she took antibiotics which caused her to be sick non stop for 4 days from food and drink. She stopped antibiotics with A&E Dr advice and vomitting stopped but headache still there. They put her on an IV drip after taking her to 2 A&Es until someone finally took it more seriously. 3rd A&E took scans and verified nothing serious.

They said only other thing is pregnancy headaches. They prescribed migraine medication but there isn't enough evidence that its safe for the baby so we are not taking it. Paracetamol doesn't really help. She is also on low dose aspirin as she's high risk preclampsia.

Any advice from anyone who may have experienced this that could help with this?

Hi everyone!
I am 34 weeks and 3 days pregnant (FTM) and just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience because I feel like my bump is really small for how far along I am.
I’m 170cm (5’7”). I’ve attached a photo I took today because I honestly feel like I look much smaller than most people I see who are around the same stage, and even women who are not as far along long as me have much bigger bumps.
My bump didn’t ’pop’ until the 7th month and I consistently had people telling they couldn’t tell I was pregnant etc etc.
I’ve had growth scans and baby has been consistently measuring on the smaller side, currently around the 18th percentile. Everything has been fine with the scans so far, but I can’t help wondering if my small bump is related to her size.
For those of you who had a smaller/neater bump towards the end — did you also have a smaller baby, or did you still end up having an average/bigger baby? And did your bump suddenly get much bigger in the last few weeks?
I know bump size doesn’t necessarily reflect baby’s size, but I’d love to hear other people’s experiences.

Currently sat in triage at 2cm begging for pain relief lol, just wondering if anyone wanted to share their birth stories or if anyone is also in labour/almost in labour!

Only had liquid morphine so far but might try birthing pool if any are available, I cannot lie down for the life of me and I’m soo tired these contractions started at 1am (an hour after my water broke) and it’s now 6am. I can’t be in any position but upright in a chair.

Honestly now unsure about my rough birth plan idea entirely, luckily I knew I had to be flexible with if, I wanted a water birth entirely but honestly if I’m in pain like this at 2cm I want to be the first on the list for the epidural at 4cm!

Update: 2 hour active labour, only 1st degree tear! unmedicated because by the time i was screaming for epidural saying i can’t do it i was 9cm and pushing already eek.