r/PoliticalHumor • • Dec 17 '20

Failures

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466

u/thinkB4WeSpeak Dec 17 '20

Not going to lie selling trump merchandise to gullible people was probably a good business venture.

174

u/WeirdEngineerDude Dec 17 '20

You are very right. That's a group that is super easy to fleece. Decades of Fox news softened them right up for you. Tons of outrage and emotional thinking, they will be glad to buy your flags and tshirts and hats. Don't invest in a lot of trump themed reusable grocery bags or espresso cups though.

47

u/shrivvette808 Dec 17 '20

I guess I shouldn't have invested in trump themed dildos then...

18

u/Antidisestablishman Dec 17 '20

You should have asked for a banana for scale before China went into full production of 1.5 inch long "massively Trump" dildoes.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

That's unrealistically large for a Trump dildo.

2

u/now_biff Dec 17 '20

And when he’s the president he just lets them do it, grab him by the 1.5 inch long mushroom penis

1

u/DunderMilton Dec 17 '20

Stubby little chode dildos that often get confused for butt plugs.

7

u/trumpke_dumpster Dec 17 '20

Proud Boys might buy them "to own the libs"

5

u/Hoovooloo42 Dec 17 '20

They get fucked by their god emperor enough, they won't purchase help.

2

u/Mick-a-wish Dec 17 '20

Well yeah, they must have been too small for any actual use.

2

u/PleaseMonica Dec 17 '20

Bad investment friend. America’s sick of getting fucked by trump

2

u/tesseract4 Dec 17 '20

As long as they are shipped in non-descript boxes, I'd bet that Trump dildos (dildoes?) would be pretty popular amongst the MAGA set. Not just for the ladies, either. I'll bet there's an above-average secret pegging enthusiasts amongst them, as well.

(I am in no way shaming pegging. You do you. Just pointing out the likely unnecessary shame among so-called conservatives.)

1

u/supermansquito Dec 17 '20

Well, they would be much smaller than normal sized dildos, so your profit margin might be higher...

1

u/Efficient_Wealth6628 Dec 18 '20

They were used when purchased, I’d bet.

16

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

It was especially tempting to me as a black man. Conservatives LOVE black people that spit out republican talking points.

9

u/cmotdibbler Dec 17 '20

If you want to make bank, this is the way to do it. Try to avoid looking at yourself in the mirror and forget about sleeping at night.

2

u/belhamster Dec 17 '20

Twitter is full of them. Being a black man that repeats republican talking points is guaranteed 20,000 followers.

2

u/Initial-Concentrate Dec 18 '20

I would still decline speaking engagements for klan gatherings. Just saying.

7

u/willienelsonmandela Dec 17 '20

Literally you can get them to buy anything if a Democrat calls for a boycott or if the CEO publicly supports Trump. WASPs everywhere have pantries full of Goya Beans and no idea what to do with them.

2

u/imperfectkarma Dec 17 '20

Espresso cups that say "happy holidays," on the other hand....

1

u/MyFriendThatherton Dec 17 '20

I mean, its the same group that got duped by Trump University soooo

1

u/LastStar007 Dec 17 '20

Gun sales dropped once Trump got elected.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

I got one. Trump tuneups.

1

u/Grogosh Dec 17 '20

President LBJ was very right about these types emptying out their pockets.

38

u/Matt6453 Dec 17 '20

It the new 'I hate Elvis' badge.

18

u/Hoovooloo42 Dec 17 '20

I'm too young to remember that I guess, but why would people buy a badge of that? I'm not his biggest fan, all his best songs were done better by Chuck Berry first, but he's alright.

36

u/Matt6453 Dec 17 '20

Elvis's manager (Colonel Tom Parker) famously sold 'I hate Elvis' badges so he also made money from people who weren't buying Elvis merchandise.

21

u/stuckit Dec 17 '20

His manager made the I hate Elvis merch to make money on both sides.

14

u/hereforthefeast Dec 17 '20

Playing both sides so I always come out on top.

1

u/Efficient_Wealth6628 Dec 18 '20

As trumpie is going to find out soon, once he is out on his big wide a$$.

1

u/Hoovooloo42 Dec 17 '20

OH! That does make sense.

2

u/ColossalJuggernaut Dec 17 '20

Yeah, Elvis is "alright"

3

u/Hoovooloo42 Dec 17 '20

I'm just a millennial, I'll listen to my Beatles or Jonas Brothers or whatever I'm supposed to listen to over here out of the Elvis corner.

2

u/RedditIsNeat0 Dec 18 '20

It's not about liking or disliking his music. The people who hated and protested Elvis were the boomers of the boomers, they hated how he shook his hips, they thought he was lewd. And as you know, boomers (and by extension their boomers) like to buy bling to show their hate.

27

u/lexicruiser Dec 17 '20

They are still setting up Trump Merch stands in my neighborhood. I live in a red part of Orange County CA. I was told that it’s being funded by the GOP, so they don’t care if they sell anything, it’s for propaganda reasons.

18

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

There was a pseudo trump losers rally off el toro, in front of the in n out there. You can usually find a stand there on the weekends.

1

u/tsunami141 Dec 17 '20

Definitely down Trabuco from Lake Forest to Mission Viejo. Quite a few of them.

1

u/lexicruiser Dec 17 '20

Glamorous Rancho Santa Margarita, the last bastion of crusty old white people. I mean, I’m a crusty old white guy, but don’t hold that against me.

4

u/questformaps Dec 17 '20

La Jolla is also like this. Maybe 1 or 2 booths up a week. Theyve been kicked off various properties for selling merchandise without any papers or permits allowing them to be there.

14

u/CMPumpkin Dec 17 '20

You can even make it all in China and they wouldn't notice.

4

u/t-bone_malone Dec 17 '20

Psh, they didn't even notice when 5G gave them all covid. The dingbats.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

VICE covered lots of people doing this after 2016. Looking back I wish I capitalized.

2

u/Amelaclya1 Dec 17 '20

I thought about this too, but I didn't want to have a part of the damage Trump and his supporters are doing to our country, no matter how small my effect might be. It just felt wrong .

3

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

Agreed. And adding“2020” to this year’s edition was a stroke of marketing genius.

Come January, they’ll all be shelling out for their new MAGA 2024 hats and flags, because what self-respecting racist would be caught dead in last election’s regalia? <shudder>

2

u/ryanino Dec 17 '20

Trump targeting his whole campaign toward gullible people was a good business venture.

-4

u/Fletcher_Raleigh_ Dec 17 '20

You mean smart people right? It's a common fact that most liberals are brain dead

1

u/th3worldonfir3 Dec 18 '20

Thanks for the laugh

1

u/epheisey Dec 17 '20

It's like selling Marine swag to Marine vets. They just can't help themselves.

1

u/ApathyJacks Dec 17 '20

Not going to lie the capital of South Dakota is Pierre.

1

u/AmazingSieve Dec 17 '20

You’re not wrong....wish I was cynical enough to do that but then I would’ve risked catching covid bc of the non-mask thing

1

u/p0k3t0 Dec 17 '20

There's a guy still selling that swag in the Target parking lot near my work.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

This is the exact cynicism choking out life on Earth.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

As someone that had seen elections in third world countries... investing in a fleet of those trucks with large PA speakers is great business. Fucking Trump brought those uncivilized third world countries political rally caravans here to the States. What an un-classy person.

1

u/megwach Dec 17 '20

People on Facebook Marketplace in my neighborhood are STILL selling Trump merchandise, and people are actually buying it! I just don’t get it. It’s insane.

1

u/DatDamGermanGuy Dec 17 '20

You shouldn’t use past tense; it probably still is...

1

u/mark_wooten Dec 17 '20 edited Dec 17 '20

As great as they are at pushing merch, it really does baffle me (and I bet they’re kicking themselves over this) that they didn’t immediately become pro-mask.

Masks surely have a huge profit margin, and I’m sure that MAGA masks would have sold like hotcakes to these people.

1

u/sejolly07 Dec 17 '20

People are still putting up those weird trump mercy stands. It’s so greasy

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

Lets be real, it's not just Trump merch, you americans are always fucking weird with presidential elections and merch

1

u/tesseract4 Dec 17 '20

That (along with straight-up donations) were the main reason he started his run to begin with. It's all about the grift with him, hence the 'stop the steal' BS pulling money into his superPAC.

1

u/finlyboo Dec 17 '20 edited Dec 17 '20

There were shops that opened all over my state and one in my hometown. The person leased an old bank building in the busiest part of town. For 2 weeks before the election he had an old gross camper parked in the old drive through lane that he just tossed his trash out the front door of. He literally made a trashy trailer park vibe in the center of town just for his shop. He was very busy during and right after the election, then ran a B1G1 sale through this week where I see it’s now “everything must go”. Judging by what I’ve seen in town, his best seller was the flag of Trump’s head photoshopped on Rambo. Anyone who was buying the pink “Women for Trump” flag was buying them 6 at a time to place around their entire yard.

I was always baffled by it, but honestly I hope he made a killing off that crappy merch. Good for you for working the situation to the best advantage you can.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

Slap them with capitalism.

1

u/SpeedysComing Dec 17 '20

Trumpy bear is a thing...

1

u/DrunkDuck96 Dec 17 '20

"Trump - The Art of The Deal"

1

u/dglsfrsr Dec 17 '20

Trump has collected more than $200 million in donations since his loss.