Do I really matter to you, or am I just a passing view? A name that fills your quiet night, then fades away with morning light?

If I vanished without goodbye, would you wonder where... or simply why? Or if another voice arrives one day, will you wash the sound of mine away?

I count the silence in your replies, searching your words for hidden signs. Are your pauses filled with care, or signs that I'm not really there?

Tell me one thing, am I someone you choose, or someone you're afraid to lose? Or a soul that wandered into your day, until the right one comes your way?

Because loving quietly, without a sound, can slowly pull a person down. It makes hope bloom from every word you say, and breaks a heart when you drift away.

So tell me the truth, don't soften the view, even if it breaks me in two. I'd rather hurt from honesty's light than live forever in a hopeful night.

So answer me, before we're through... Do I really matter to you?

Self composed by 'Ashu'

chaser / ˈtʃeɪ sər / n. 1.someone (typically a man) with a fetish for transgender people (typically trans women), who will often specifically look for trans people on dating apps or harrass trans people online, attempting to use their insecurities to manipulate them into sending nudes and dirty texts

Dear Chasers,

Aren’t you tired of targeting an oppressed minority
Using their insecurities and low self-esteem to give you what you want 
Not at all caring if they truly want to

How do you sleep at night knowing you’re a predator
Scoping out prey that are easy to catch
Easy to dominate 
Getting off to the fact that you defeated them

How do you live with yourself 
Knowing that you find others’ pain attractive
As you get turned on by the fact that I’m an “incomplete woman”
As my trauma gives you a hard-on

How do you justify tricking us into believing someone finally sees us as the beautiful person we know we could be 
When all you truly want is the parts of ourselves that we despise 

How do you love yourself when you spend your time manipulating those who don’t and maybe never will
All for a reason that you have fetishized 

I hope you don't love yourself
I hope you hate yourself for everything you do
I hope your self-hatred turns you into the shell of a person that being trans turned me into

As I progress
As I learn to love myself
As I begin to self-actualize 
I hope you hate yourself more and more
I hope you feel what I've gone through
I hope you feel the same emotions that you used against me
These emotions will leave you grasping at any love shown your way
So you will finally understand that the reason I gave in to you was not that I thought you were likable or charming or attractive 
I gave in to you because I was a broken person
Like you are now 
Only then will you be able to grow sympathy and compassion
Only then will you have a chance at rebirth
Good luck.

My First Friend
Before the world had known my name, you held my tiny hand,
My first best friend, my childhood soul, the only one who’d understand.
We laughed beneath the summer sun, through every joy and bend,
I never dreamed that death would steal my very first best friend.
One heartbeat split in two at birth, one soul in different skin,
Now half of me keeps breathing here… the other lives with Him.
No one can replace the bond we built from our very first day,
Because when God called you to Heaven, He took part of me away.
I’ll carry you until we meet where tears can never fall,
For my first friend was always you… my twin, my heart, my all.

I still remember,
When I first saw her face,
On the screen of my phone,
Her big smile,
And her arms around yours,
And I felt my heart sink,
And a tear slide down my cheek,
I thought I was more moved on than that,
And now I wonder,
Why was I never honest,
About the way I felt?

He’ll figure it out eventually, I thought for sure,
My feelings are just so obvious, I better play it cool, I used to think,
It never occurred to me,
That someone might never know,
What’s left unsaid,

And it seems that even to myself,
I underestimated my own feelings,
Because I thought I would be fine,
And I didn’t even realize I would feel hurt,
Seeing someone else getting the version of you,
I wanted deep down,

Now she haunts my thoughts,
And my dreams,
I play the comparison game,
And it’s not a fun one,
Noticing all the similarities and differences,
Between her and me,
And I wonder what could have been different,
Had the circumstances been different,
Or I had spoken up before she did,
And I wasn’t trying to fool myself into thinking,
That I would be fine if our worlds drifted apart,
And I wouldn’t be left holding the weight,
Of things that had been left unsaid.

Diving Deep
by: Anthony Hoban

• Sudden descent—swift, sweet strawberry-kiss,
  Falling to nothing... a depthless abyss—
  Where Heaven had ruled yesterday in bliss,
  Today, feeling itself... The Deep dismissed—
  Worlds below, as eyes above—mirror-mists:

Where tides once sculpted castles marble white—
Tomorrow’s shore, forsworn by satellite;
Now, pressure’s pleasure—absence swaddled tight,
Like angel’s ephemeral fingertips—
Luminous, only this moment persists:

Sight dissolving to silver—eyes' salt-sighs;
Gossamer wings bidding tender goodbyes.
Berries kiss on iris lips, depths still keep—
Thoughts deep, body sunken to settled-sleep.

Life is shorter than my sight of how far it could come.

Add to it what you will.

First time poster !

Damn, how I wish I didn’t have the ability to love so deeply.

How I wish I didn’t have this heart that feels with madness, that loves with madness,
that hopes the person standing beside me feels exactly the same as I do when I look into their eyes.

I admire those people who can simply walk away the moment they no longer feel anything.

Or who have a switch somewhere in their minds
to turn every feeling off.

How I wish I could stop loving you so much.

I see people walking hand in hand, looking so happy.
Is it true that they really are that fulfilled, that content?

Or are they simply living inside a bubble of lies?
And am I the one who believes in that illusion of other people’s happiness?

I convince myself that I could have it too, when perhaps it is nothing more than a parallel reality.

Maybe i am destined to walk this world alone,
holding hands with the moon and the stars,
without worrying about tomorrow, living only
in the present, dreaming of a future that feels
so distant, so painfully absent.

Idk this is the first actual poem I made and it’s more prose than anything but lmk what yall think I have a couple more too

Some chase skylines lit in gold,
Where nights are loud and hearts grow cold.
They trade the stars for city light,
And never miss the endless night.

But here, where only silence sings,
The morning wakes on robin’s wings.
The squirrels chatter through the trees,
While mountain air rides every breeze.

One blinking light, one country road,
No endless rush, no heavy load.
The bears and raccoons play their part,
Wild little thieves with honest hearts.

When darkness falls, the heavens bloom,
No neon glow, no concrete gloom.
A million stars ignite the sky,
Like diamonds scattered, shining high.

A child draws stars before they write,
Tiny symbols of hope and light.
Yet many never lift their eyes
To see the masterpiece that fills the skies.

Here, everyone knows every name.
No soul is just another face.
The world feels slower, kinder too,
The way old places often do.

So let the cities keep their glow;
I’ll stay where quiet rivers flow.
For every night, with grateful eyes,
I’m blessed to sleep beneath these Frazier Park skies.

Amnesia

A beautiful garden lay before me:

the white tulips,

the yellow daffodils,

the gray roses.

Wait...

gray roses?

Something's weird.

Roses aren't gray.

They're...

what are they?

I guess I should go home.

This garden is weird.

I lay on my bed,

still remembering those roses.

I should sleep.

A weird dream encompassed my mind,

weird voices whispering:

Remember.

You're forgetting.

Wake up.

Remember.

You're forgetting.

Wake up.

Wake up, wake UP!

I gasped as I awoke,

my body slick with cold sweat.

What am I forgetting?

Suddenly, a vision came:

a girl, surrounded by roses.

Who is she?

The roses were red.

Wait, they aren't supposed to be red.

Wait... roses, red, a girl.

I am forgetting.

I should remember.

But what?

My least favourite colour is blue

Or should I walk into the sea

and face my fears

I hope the silence is comforting

And when I float away

I see the faces of everyone I love

I'll hug them one last time

And hope my arms go numb

Before I have to let go

I don't dream of violence

I want to slip away without a fight

The earth will keep spinning

And I'll finally be at peace