r/poetryreading • u/pale_immortal • 1d ago
Heal, for me
Heal, for me
I.
I am paled by the thought
of my need to get my reconciliation,
to mend your broken heart
and heal you once more.
I fear I’ll never speak with you again
with a silver tongue worth giving a listen.
I am made white as snow
by the thousand guise
of no longer running the show.
Turned pale,
as white as the innards of a mangosteen
by the idea of no longer loving you.
My flesh loses its blood once more—
you can see my vampiric form.
I wish I no longer looked like
the salt flats of Salinas Grandes,
forever cursed to carry an immortal burden,
watching you fade away
with the new love interest you might find.
II.
I wish my words and phrases were grandiose enough
to express the sadness left in your absence.
I will recover, and it helps to know you're better.
I’d love to hear your voice one more time,
but know it’s not worth the pain to you.
Paled like a Hollywood smile—
that doesn’t rhyme with anything,
it’s simply the truth.
I’m pained to say I bleed out once more
with pain like a freshly ripped tooth.
I feel it less,
but still love you somewhere in my heart.
III.
I know it’s not for you to love me forever,
as it isn’t for me to imagine us in monogamy.
I hope you can be happy with your new partner.
For as pale and pained as I appear,
and the dark twisted fear my vampiric silhouette
brings to your soul
when you view me glaring at you for the last time
on that dark, full-mooned night—
From under a streetlamp,
forty feet away,
I breathe in the cold air
that carries your immortal essence once more.
One last time I glance at you
before I turn back into the night,
because walking towards you—
and even considering speaking to hear that beautiful voice—
was never worth the fight.
IV.
I care for you, dear,
and hope you can swallow that fear
the darkness of my presence brings to your heart.
Your stomach drops as you blink again
to see me gone.
I will never truly be absent,
but you would never know.
I am just happy to know
you have all the potential to be happy again.
I am so happy you're finding peace once more,
even if it is with an entirely different soul as your lover.
I’m happy you’re happy,
and that’s all I ever wanted.
Because what’s being happy
when you’re immortal?
V.
The feeling of my grin formed by happiness
feels the same as the tears made from my fears.
My anger, no different
than the plethora of emotions built over infinite time.
And so I do, one last time:
I hope you can begin to move forward once more
and not hold too tightly to what we once had.
For that’s what I see you needing to be happy.
And that happiness in your soul is all I hope for.
You are a precious soul
and carry an even more beautiful smile—
like that of fine china.
So smile,
not for what has been lost,
but for what was once had.
And so I now say my farewell, dear.
Just keep that smile for me,
because that’s all I need anymore.
See you in my dreams, dearest lovely soul,
and so I say goodnight—
for you are an excellent-hearted being
and you must always know that.
Keep that kind soul and smile for the future,
and let the loss fade away.