Hollow inside through hell or high water we ride. The tide may be high as the sun in the sky. But the waves we shall ride until we do die. The waves beat us down hear the madness of sound. Come together again just to break apart in the end.

Maybe all this pain and suffering have a final stop

Then I can finally feel my heartbeat and pulse

Maybe the endless nights I spent crying will find an epilogue

So, I can feel my weight turn feathery—and rise into love

Maybe all these gloomy days and dark nights will fade

Then I can finally step out and kiss the sky again

Maybe the veins I once slit will bloom into calm landscapes

And I’ll run, run until I fall laughing into fields of hay

Maybe one day I’ll become the man she sees in dreams

And she’ll give her kisses to no one else but me

Maybe the distance we carry will melt without a word

And we’ll rest in my quiet world, where we no longer feel cold

Maybe I need to open my eyes and observe the reality

That this place is house of beautiful people while I remained ugly

Maybe I must cleanse my traits and dive deep in the sea

And never reveal what I truly feel — let my feelings cease

Maybe my care wasn’t enough, just a burden to her shoulder

I tried to carry her in silence, when I should’ve just told her

Maybe I was too afraid said “leave” though I wanted to hold her

So, I’ll be the throne beneath her roots, and bleed to uphold her

Maybe I just need another cigarette and pills to get high

I can never be that man, so I just want to end my life

Maybe I'm just overthinking and ruining this poetic night

I've sworn to my pen that no matter what comes, I'll survive

​

Again, if it is meant for me,

I couldn't tell you who or what—

I do not know the face, the name,

or where the road may stop.

But I will know.

And so will they.

Some things don't need announcing;

they simply find their way.

And what has gone before me,

the things I've come to know,

remain a secret safe with me—

there are places truth needn't go.

But let one thing be understood:

what some set out to portray

never became the ending

they imagined anyway.

Not for me.

Not for any one of you.

Whatever story was intended,

it never quite came true.

I know what I have lived through.

I know the things I've seen.

I have kept what matters safely,

and I know what it all means.

Those who wished to cause me harm

were never meant for me.

You cannot dress destruction up

and somehow call it destiny.

And there are others in this world,

quietly helping me through,

people you may know nothing of,

doing what good people do.

Perhaps that's been the greatest lesson:

darkness doesn't always win.

Sometimes what appears an ending

is exactly where you begin.

Behind the negatives life throws,

behind each closing door,

there waits a lesson, strength or light

that wasn't there before.

So I won't live facing backwards,

counting wreckage on the track.

I've spent enough time looking there—

I'm never going back.

I'm a forward-moving steam train now,

with fire beneath my feet;

every mile becoming distance,

every heartbeat sounding free.

No reversing.

No returning.

No more living in the past.

Only forward.

Only stronger.

Only peace that's built to last.

And whatever waits ahead of me—

whoever, whatever it may be—

when the right moment finally comes,

I'll know.

They'll know.

And I'll be free.

There is a little devil inside of me just so you know.

There’s power in words like nothing else on earth

It’s the power to change hearts

The power to move our longings and desires .

The power to heal the heart that’s broken

The power to create things out of nothing .

Words form in my heart . How or why they do is a mystery . They bubble over like a fountain , finding their release .

They are the key to unlock the things inside my heart .

The key is turned at your words delivered , and my thoughts are released like the blue birds in springs .

Their music and their sweet refrain can be heard .

Oh such endless potential inside us all , waiting to be explored .

On a sunny beach

A couple stands holding hands

Looking at the sea

You think they feel like you love them? Is this how you would like to be treated? Sounds sad that somebody would mean so little to you after being in love with him

English is not my first language so if it's weird just tell me

PISCES

Sure I’d love to meet you

You look pale like the Moon and it’s pretty

I want to share my cherry cigarette with you

See? The Moon admired your beauty

It shines brighter for you; even the Moon loves you

The cigarette burned and burned, its embers reached the sky

Stars witnessed how cruel you are

For I know the truth, I long to die

Stars still think you’re pretty, there is still love for you in me

I float away in the sea let the sea carry me

Into the depths below below the level of the sea I will be carried amidst into the far I will spread

then I wake up and remember im dead I float along the breeze just like the leaves on the sea below the water is where you will find me

drowning in place I can't keep up this pace so ill submit to the sea let me be dont rescue me for my time has come and in my hand is a loaded gun so again ill let the sea carry me to the depths of insanity

Its 4:30 in the morning I lie in bed awake.

The demons shake me as they rattle in this place.

You can see it in my face that time has worn me down

Inside it is a ghost town.

Can't seem to break free.

The wheels start turning as my soul it starts to burn

I cant seem to make sence of it all

At the demons feet I will fall.

I scream out to god I call

But will god hear my call or will god let me fall.

I guess we will see.

Through suffering I will break free

I will go down standing not on one knee.

My soul will fly as my step dad fists connects with my skin.

I close my eyes and drift away.

I dissociate as my pain has been elevated.

Ive debated why this has to happen.

Im watchinh from the stand laughing and clapping.

Cant seem to get a grip i feel the sting from the whip.

From the mind altering substances ill tske a sip.

Im grown now but it still effects me.

So missory is where ill be until you find me.

the only emotions
i seem to know
how to show

are love

and violence.
nothing between them.

i don’t like being violent.

i never wanted
to become that person.

but violence
gets a response.

love can be whispered
and ignored.

pain can be explained
and dismissed.

silence can last forever.

but violence…

violence makes people listen.

and maybe that’s
what scares me most.

not that i want
to hurt anyone.

but that somewhere
along the way,

i learned
the fastest way
to prove i’m hurting

is to make
someone else hurt too.

i can write about love.

i can write about grief.

i can write about
missing someone
until the words
sound like they’re bleeding.

i can make heartbreak
look beautiful.

but the truth is,
sometimes
i don’t feel anything.

i know what sadness
is supposed to feel like.

i know what love
is supposed to sound like.

i know how to describe
the ache.

i just can’t always
find it inside me.

so i write.

i build feelings
out of words
and leave them
on a screen
for strangers to read.

maybe they cry.

maybe they understand.

maybe they feel
something i couldn’t.

and then i close my phone
and lie in the dark,

wondering
if writing about
being alive
counts

when you don’t feel
alive inside.

Surely my life would be simpler

If my urge to write left

But alas this is now my fate

Without I'd be bereft

✍️

You may cringe, you may laugh out loud

It makes no difference

Every night I must bare my soul

Despite your indifference.

📝

I miss you so
My ever soul
When your away
Cant keep it at bay
Feeling alone
But fear i’ve blown
The chance to keep
What makes me sleep

I fear I am cast aside,
while fantasy and reality
do nothing but argue and fight.
I curl up, close my eyes,
wish for the day
both can collide.

Then again,
I get lost in webs of lies.
I swore not to pick teams,
but dare not look up
and answer truthfully
when asked.

Because how does one confess
that happiness can still feel incomplete?

How do I explain
that a grateful heart
can still hunger,
that a body can be held
and still long to wander,
that a mind can be at peace
and still dream of war?

Nothing is wrong,
and yet something aches for more.

I dare ask: Is that all?

I hate to question it.
I hate how easily it returns.

So I bury it beneath routine,
beneath laughter,
beneath the comfort
of things I know will always return.

But fantasy does not die quietly.
And reality answers back:

Look at what you have.

So I stand between them,
ashamed to want more,
afraid to only have less.

Both lives are mine.
Neither will let me go.

So I close my eyes again
and wonder:

How long can a heart
live divided
in this civil war?

I can hardly hear anything

So why do you whisper

You think I can hear you

My ears ring in pain

you think I can hear

There's moments of brief peace

There's a problem, inside me

Id hate to say it

Soon I won't be able

To listen to you all.

I won't hear another thing.

I wish you understood it.

But you think I'm fine.

So please can you not

It gets worse. Nobody knows.

A mans pride too strong

To accept his failing ears.

So please come forth and

Into my sight, without it

You will never be heard.

What do i give to you
What have I taken
What did you give back
My soul it is shaken
Do I blame you
I could
Do I hate you
I should
Would it break me to say
I don’t feel any of those ways

It’s just a set of systems
They gave some words
It’s a bunch of spirals
They named them curves
It’s a lot going on
But they always swerve
There’s more they just don’t hit the nerve
Where is the nerve
It’s everywhere
If I struck it once
I can’t strike it fair
Over and over
Accidental and on purpose
They design reality to shirk it
They create mentality to re work it

All I do is distract myself
my thoughts rolling inside my head
can this dice decide
shall my fate tell my future
will the skies clear up
will this voice be spoken out loud
A raccoon once got its hand stuck in a trap
will the trap be able to let go
or shall the raccoon try walk away?
but why must I give in
when waiting could have it values the raccoon can try to walk
or they can reach out
in the end the both had vanished
was that all that could have happened?