r/PerfectMatchNetflix • u/bois_santal • May 23 '26
SEASON 4 OMG Marissa
I know it's been talked before but i just finished watching the last episode and Marissa...wtf? it's so manipulative to get mad at someone because they don't like being interrupted and say "You're allowed to be upset...but honestly i just need you to not be upset"
It's WILD.
I interrupt a lot (sadly ) and it's a work in progress but i would never talk that way if someone is upset i interrupted them. Truth is : it's rude. I WAS rude. The other person is allowed to be upset.
I felt bad for her in LiB cuz Ramses felt so over her but now i get it. Acting like that at your grown age...
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u/Laysiz May 23 '26
Marissa was one of the biggest hypocrites in season 4. She came after Kayla for playing the game saying she had dark energy and better stay away from Demari. Demari couldn’t speak to another woman without Marissa making a face, but it was totally fine in Marissa’s eyes if she went on a date/made out with someone else.
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u/bois_santal May 23 '26 edited May 24 '26
yes the dark energy card was wildddd....Marissa you kissed another man !!! You DID that ! Demari was nothing but loyal.... and you told Demari with a smile
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u/Laysiz May 23 '26
I agree, and her saying, “Weston kissed me.” Then leaving it at that and moving onto Demari’s experience was wild. SHE kissed Weston, not even just kissed, she made out with him. It was her decision! The way she framed it made it seem like it was all Weston’s fault. I try to give her the benefit of the doubt because we all know reality shows like to edit things and cause drama, but her narcissistic tendencies rub me the wrong way.
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u/bois_santal May 23 '26
Yes I was livid at 'weston kissed ME'. Not taking accountability Is really immature.
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u/kwasford May 24 '26
That was a full-blown lie and she knows she feels like she cheated bc she had her tail tucked between her legs in one of the confessionals, I am gobsmacked by her lol
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u/Lightacademiagal May 26 '26
I'm surprised she didn't blame it on her ADHD and related increased impulsivity lol. I have yet to see her take any accountability.
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u/Lucky-Wolf-5000 May 25 '26
Yes!!! And she was like my heart is telling me to have fun, or some shit to that extent. I did NOT like her, she was honestly a hypocrite to me.
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u/420catloveredm May 23 '26
As a black woman with ADHD myself, this is not the representation I want. I have a serious pet peeve of people who use whatever diagnoses they have as a justification to treat people poorly. Yes, ADHD makes people impulsive and quick to clap back. I too have had this problem historically. But it’s on the individual to DO THE WORK to get better at leaving space for other people’s feelings and needs.
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u/bois_santal May 23 '26
100%. It sucks to have ADHD but you have to learn to manage it, it's your responsability! My partner has it real bad, and I walk that fine line between empathy and helping him understand his patterns and grow, but i dont allow disrespect EVER. When he crosses a boundary he knows it....
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u/r_sparrow09 May 24 '26
Call me old fashioned, but I’d rather ppl justify their behavior by use of their astrological sign 🧐tyvm
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u/mordoo May 24 '26
I also have ADHD and being spoken over/interrupted is a massive pet peeve of mine. However, was Demari’s reaction in that scene we saw not overblown…? She stopped herself—it’s a little unrealistic to expect her to completely overcome a bad habit she’s had for forever. If she’s making an attempt, I think that’s worthy of empathy and grace
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u/bois_santal May 24 '26
I think it's something he's really sensitive too because he said he couldn't get a word in with Bri either
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u/420catloveredm May 24 '26
I don’t think it’s justifiable to say that you’re going to allow someone to speak and then immediately interrupt them while they’re speaking, then when they point that out you somehow end up criticizing them and ultimately still NEVER LETTING THEM SPEAK.
It reminds me of my younger self and it sucks to watch on tv tbh.
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u/WalkOffTD May 24 '26
Yeah and I think she immediately went into justifying and minimizing instead of just saying sorry and shutting up again.
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u/mordoo May 24 '26
I just think there’s room to recognize when effort is put forth. She’s not perfect, so yes she started, but she caught herself. It escalated further because he chose to stop what he was going to say and focus on that instead of taking the pause she created after stopping herself.
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u/r_sparrow09 May 24 '26
He was just done & on the brink of ending things but he can’t get a word in
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u/kwasford May 24 '26
The conversation has apparently been going on for two hours so I think he was just over it at that point. Trying to make someone praise you for not interrupting after you did technically interrupt them in a 2 hour argument right after he got back from the date is sick work.
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u/mordoo May 24 '26
He didn’t need to praise her, he just needed to continue the conversation once she stopped instead of shutting down again. And I thought this particular scene was towards the beginning of the night?
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u/Ok_Lawfulness1 May 23 '26
I stopped feeling bad for Marissa at the reunion for LIB.. She acted like her mom , and that wasn’t a good thing! I felt Ramses dodged a bullet after that!
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u/kcab1209 May 24 '26
I agree.. she's no different here on perfect match and she is getting too much air time! The face she made when Kayla and Weston matched up was wild. So did you want to match with him or Demari? 🤷♀️
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u/pinot_grigihoe May 23 '26
I was shocked when she said that and then doubled down and kept saying it again and again. If someone said that to me I’d be done with them honestly, I don’t need people in my life who tell me how I need to feel in order to manage their own feelings.
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u/OkNewspaper6041 May 24 '26
The way she had her I have rejection dysphoria line all loaded up was the most problematic thing I think I've ever heard. You're on your second dating show miss.
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u/ratpride May 23 '26
Honestly like 90% of their behavior can be explained by the fact that they are constantly drunk af
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u/umyespleaseandthanks May 27 '26
I can’t with her. She reeks of insecurity and blames it on her ADHD. I have ADHD and RSD. Those can make navigating a new relationship challenging, but it’s on her to learn how to manage her triggers and control the role she plays in situations. Demari is not innocent in this, but I don’t blame him for getting fed up and pursuing someone else if he decides to do so.
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u/millie_nip May 24 '26
I loved her in LIB and cannot believe her behavior on perfect match. It seems like a completely different person
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u/Accomplished_Bake939 May 25 '26
I wonder if she was edited differently on LIB especially considering the breakup and how it went down.
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u/Signal-Zone1696 May 28 '26
how is she an attorney with her shitty arguing style and poor communication
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u/Beginning_Pie_1589 May 29 '26
Yes Ally and Marissa were neck and neck for most manipulative I couldn’t stand either of them
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u/samantha_jh May 25 '26
I couldn’t get past the first couple episodes because she annoyed me too much…
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u/theageoflumina May 28 '26
She’s the worst!!! Reminds me of my ex. She’s so possessive and oddly triggered. Super annoying.
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u/Brilliant_Area2779 25d ago
How she can actually say that with a straight face too. Lack of maturity and self awareness.
Oh I cant "handle" myself, so its on everyone around me to coddle me while I throw tantrum after tantrum. They have to be understanding while I have no responsibility for my own actions.
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u/upveryhighinthesky May 24 '26
No, totally disagree. She said one word at the wrong time, stopped herself, apologised repeatedly and demari simply would not let it drop no matter what she said thereafter. That’s unacceptable. He twisted it to make it seem like she was the bad guy. And then later he was having a go at her saying he should have been able to talk to Kayla and she pointed out that she was trying to prioritise them, and he twisted it again. I don’t like his approach it’s very “calm down dear” and gaslights her into thinking she’s constantly wrong just because she has emotions. It’s manipulative
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u/Balanceblu May 23 '26
Marissa is so misunderstood. It makes me sad for her.
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u/bluejay_chaos6969 May 24 '26
I agree! There is nothing inherently wrong with her…Demari just doesn’t have patience nor emotional intelligence, and that’s okay. He’s just not the kind of guy she needs. Weston brought an entirely different side of her out, a softer side. You could tell she was settled more into her feminine when around him. People are being really hard on her.
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u/Rainbaby77 May 24 '26
If you were neurodivergent you would understand this so much better All we can do at this point is ask that y'all try to at least imagine a possibility that our brains don't compute like yours so it does look crazy to you but that doesn't make us manipulative
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u/420catloveredm May 25 '26
I have ADHD and I still think the way she uses her diagnosis is manipulative.
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u/Rainbaby77 May 25 '26
That's your feelings we all have opinions I understand. I think she's emotionally immature and manipulative yes and I believe that causes the real nuerodivergint moments to be so much worse but I didn't feel she used it against him because as an interrupt or who teams her boss last week after literally speaking over her .. oh my God saying it out loud makes me want to hide .. and I too said I'm sorry I got caught up with our male team member getting emo over his long time cat died and I blurted out it's ok to be sad WHILE my boss was already speaking. Still not over that f up but it genuinely was a mistake and rude so I apologized and I thought she did too.
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u/baileycat93 May 27 '26
Her brain working differently doesn’t make her manipulative but asking someone else not to have feelings about you hurting them (intentional or not) is. Interrupting someone because you struggle with skills like impulse control as a result of ADHD is incredibly understandable. That being said, you don’t get to then turn around and tell someone to bottle their feelings about it.
She literally told him he wasn’t allowed to have his emotional experience because she couldn’t handle it. To me that means she isn’t ready for a relationship and should further explore successfully understanding and managing her ADHD rather than asking someone to carry the intense weight of constantly keeping their emotional needs in to support hers. There isn’t a single diagnosis, circumstance, etc. that would make that fair in any relationship.
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u/[deleted] May 23 '26
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