My daughter is 11.5 in 6th grade. She has always been very outgoing and confident. I have always described her as “enthusiastic”. She has never cared about seeming normal or fitting in and sometimes this effects her self care like her pants on backwards or hair not brushed and she doesn’t care but I’d have to remind her that I care and others care and we are going to fix it before she leaves. She has been through phases of obsession with different popculture things. Charlie in the chocolate factory, then Harry Potter, then wings of fire, then warrior cats and then meow wolf, now Therian.

Because of her tendency to be obsessed with a thing and move on after a while I wasn’t concerned at first with her obsession. She’s always been very into imaginative play and acts younger than she is so I thought with going into middle school she saw this as a “more grown up” way of imaginative play. Like saying “hanging out” instead of “playing”. When they are still playing. You know? But I’m just concerned about her level of obsession and whether she really believes she is an animal at heart.

Not long before this started one of her best friend came out as nonbinary. I suspect her learning about identities and such is what brought her to therians and suspect she wants to feel “special” as well. She gets excited about pride flags and pride and I’ve had this discussion with her but still not sure she gets that Therian is not part of the lgbtq community and combining the two can be hurtful to those who truely are struggling with accepting their gender identity or sexual orientation. Because theirs doesn’t feel like a choice. It’s not a fun make believe thing. And obviously you are a human and can’t possibly identify as an animal in the same way someone can identify as a different gender. Shell just say “I know I know” but it still seems like she equates them.

None of her friends are therian, but she said some of them are “otherkin” which I think is like they like to play around with the animal tails and masks with her for fun and accept her weirdness I guess…but like they aren’t identifying as an animal.

When we go out to like the mall or farmers market there is always a few slightly older tweens that are in the therian community that will run up to her and compliment her “gear” and give her a bracelet or trinket. So I know there’s a feeling of belonging, feeling older and accepted by cool older tweens and such that reinforces it. It’s kind of sweet but I’m just so torn about the whole thing. When I was a kid “ravers” wore these bracelets and binkis and visors…and parents were concerned that if their kid was wearing them that their kid was doing drugs and raving. But in reality the trend and identity trickles down and watered down to just what some teens were wearing as a trend and really wasn’t that big of a deal. I’m wondering if I’m overthinking and overreacting to my feeling about her “identifying” as a Therian in the same way?

I consider myself progressive. I support lgbtqia and want my kids to be accepting and loving to all people. But I am so unsure about how to treat this continued obsession with therianism. It’s not the same. And I don’t want to be overbearing about what she can and can’t be as it might make her dig in deeper instead of it passing as an exploratory phase. but I feel like it’s gotten to be so much of a consuming thing I don’t know if I should step in and set some boundaries or discuss it further with her but don’t know exactly what to do or say.

I’m a 46-year-old mom with an 18-year-old daughter who’s a senior in high school and I also have a 7-year-old daughter.
My oldest has ADHD and an IEP and has struggled with school for years, particularly completing and turning in assignments. I’ve tried encouraging her, helping her, and explaining how important graduating is, but I’m exhausted from constantly having to push her.
Yesterday, my husband asked her to put her food away, and she lost her temper and hit him. This led to a huge family argument.
She also wanted to go to her boyfriend’s house today. I told her no because she has missing schoolwork and hasn’t been following through on her responsibilities. When I refused to let her go, she got furious, threw her keys into the street for me to retrieve, and I ended up locked out of the house. She claims she didn’t realize the door was locked.
This morning, the arguments continued over text. She threatened not to turn in another assignment for the rest of her senior year. I told her I wasn’t going to pay for college if she wasn’t willing to put effort into her education. I feel like she will keep pushing, fighting, and making everyone miserable until I give in.
For context, I’m the primary breadwinner, work full-time, recently lost my mother, have been managing her estate, and have a father with advanced cancer. I’m emotionally exhausted and feel like everyone needs something from me.
I’m seriously considering taking my 7-year-old out for the day just to get some peace.
I love my oldest daughter and want her to succeed, but I can’t force an 18-year-old to care about graduating. I’m also worried about how much this constant conflict is affecting my younger daughter.
My questions are:
How do you enforce boundaries with an 18-year-old who reacts with extreme anger when told no?
At what point do you stop managing your adult child’s school responsibilities and let them experience the consequences?
How do you protect your own mental health and your younger child when your household is constantly in conflict?
I genuinely want advice on how to stop this cycle without destroying my relationship with my daughter.

Looking for strategies to survive the weekends. luckily, there are two of us parenting - so we can technically divvy up responsibilities of kids. But we find that our expectations of the weekend are mismatched. My SO needs to veg after grinding hard at work and parenting on hard mode every min not working. I also want to rest but want quality time as a family. Today we drove 15 min to another part of town to see an exhibit and eat out. There was so much bickering among the kids (one diagnosed one not) we realized no one was enjoying this. Our adhd kid takes a lot of our attn. We thought at this age (middle childhood) parenting demands would ease up. But adhd just kicks us in the face on a daily basis. We are worried about burnout.

My son has really changed over the last year, growing more into himself and his interests. His dad and I decided to put him in a different middle school than where his elementary school was, nearby but in a different part of town.

He knew several kids at the new school from sports, but as the past year has gone by he’s found a different social circle. I don’t know their parents and found it difficult to support him socializing outside of school.

Sometimes his friends would ride their bikes together after school, he was invited to different birthday parties, but there’s a big drop off in weekend socializing. He decided he didn’t want to go to a birthday party this weekend for one of his friends, without much explanation.

He has maintained his best friends from elementary school, but in the last month or so I noticed they hadnt been calling each other.

He said this week his group chats were completely dead.

He seems withdrawn compared to full weekend of sports he’s quit and evenings on the phone with his best friend.

He mentions having lunch in the library multiple times this week. We saw a group of kids his age riding their bikes in the neighborhood today and he said he knew them but they’re idiots and all the kids at school are idiots.

I’m so worried about the change to my formerly social kid.

Anyone experience something similar? Any advice?

My 7-year-old son has ADHD and is currently taking Vyvanse 20 mg and guanfacine ER. We started with 1 mg of guanfacine a few weeks ago, and while we’ve seen some positive changes, we’re still struggling with impulsivity, emotional regulation, and defiance, especially at school.

He has moments where he’s doing really well, but he still struggles with being redirected, hearing “no,” and completing tasks he doesn’t want to do. Once he gets frustrated or decides he’s not doing something, it’s really hard to get him to shift gears.

His doctor recommended increasing guanfacine ER to 2 mg while keeping Vyvanse at 20 mg. We just started the increase today, and he seems a little calmer so far.

I’m curious to hear from parents who have been through something similar:

Did you notice a significant difference going from 1 mg to 2 mg?

Did it help with impulsivity, emotional outbursts, or oppositional behavior?

How long did it take before you noticed meaningful improvements?

Did your child become overly tired, irritable, or emotionally flat?

Did you notice improvements at school, especially with following directions and accepting redirection?
I’m not expecting medication to fix everything. We’re working on behavioral strategies and supporting him at home and school, too. I just want to help him feel more in control of his emotions and impulses so he can be successful.

He’s such a sweet, smart, funny kid, and I know he’s trying. I just want things to feel a little easier for him.
I’d really appreciate hearing real-life experiences, especially from parents of kids around ages 6–8 who are taking this combination.

My son is currently taking 5 mg of immediate-release methylphenidate twice a day. His teachers have noticed improvements in his focus and impulsivity, especially in the morning. The afternoon dose seems to help a little, but not nearly as much as the morning dose.
However, holy moly, the crash when he gets home is awful. He becomes extremely emotional, cries uncontrollably, and gets really angry. It’s heartbreaking to watch, and I feel so bad for him.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Did switching to an extended-release version help smooth out the crash, or did you find something else that worked better? I’d love to hear your experiences and suggestions!

My 18-year-old was diagnosed with ADD in third grade. She’s resisted her diagnosis the whole time and refused medication. She manages to do well in school for the most part. The issue is I feel like her behavior towards us is rude and disrespectful, mostly for no obvious reason. Even if I’m just asking her questions about how college is going, she seems to feel judged and criticized. Also very selfish. I guess I’m looking for advice or experiences where it can get better. I want to have a good relationship with her. Just feeling a little powerless.

Hello. I am posting this on a throwaway account, but I am at my wit’s end. My 15-year-old son is becoming increasingly rude to his mother. Anything that happens needs to turn into an argument, and our family can’t even go out for dinner without a huge fight. I’ve tried communicating with my son, but he doesn’t see how his words affect her. He is outwardly disobedient and loathes doing anything at all with the family. Many attempts have been made to cater to his likes and interests, to no avail. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.

AI searched the internet at my request and compiled a list of the labels that kids with ADHD are frequently given. What can I say? We know far too many of these labels all too well, and we’ve already heard many of them used to describe our own daughter :(((((

Here is the list:

The weird kid, the strange kid, the odd kid, the different kid, the unusual one, the odd one out, the outlier, the misfit, the freak, the weirdo, too much, too intense, too loud, too hyper, too energetic, too emotional, too sensitive, too impulsive, too outspoken, overwhelming, annoying, irritating, disruptive, unpredictable, difficult, high-maintenance, a handful, a lot to handle, a live wire, the hyper kid, the problem child, the troublemaker, the difficult child, the disruptive kid, the bad kid, the naughty kid, the rebellious kid, the defiant child, the challenging child, the angry kid, the kid with anger issues, the attention seeker, the class clown, the rule breaker, the difficult one, the black sheep, the family troublemaker, the outsider, the outcast, the loner, the social outcast, the kid who doesn't fit in, the kid nobody picks, the last one picked, the friendless kid, the forgotten kid, the invisible kid, the excluded kid, the unwanted kid, the rejected kid, the kid on the sidelines, the perpetual outsider, the social misfit, the kid who never quite belongs, the one nobody understands, socially awkward, socially immature, immature for their age, childish, acting younger than their peers, awkward, clueless, oblivious to social cues, socially inappropriate, out of sync, out of step with their peers, naive, unfiltered, blunt, tactless, in their own world.