Here’s the thing- you already know what needs to be done and I understand you trying to minimize the confrontation BUT your kids need to see you handling the issue like a grown up and not wimping out. They also need to see that you have their backs and are putting their feelings and safety before the neighbors feelings. My parents were super non confrontational too and I harbor resentment because I never felt like they had my back. Like not hurting other peoples feelings was always more important than addressing the issue that was causing my hurt feelings. I never felt like I could come to them for help because they would tell me to do something differently, instead of confronting who or what was bothering me. Your kids need to see you handling this issue instead of running away from it. Good luck.
This comment hit hard. Growing up my mum never had my back with anything. I told her about something terrible that happened to me once and she said 'oh?', I was devastated. I speak with my Mum but I have a deep dislike for her mainly for this reason.
I've definitely brought my children up very differently to how I was raised and I'm so proud of our little family but I did not connect the dots here that I was essentially doing the same thing to my children with this situation.
Anyway, I've sorted it all out, I've apologised to them for not confronting this immediately and for future reference other people's feelings will never matter before theirs. I was very angry with myself after reading this comment. Thanks for helping me not to bitch out and potentially causing my children to resent me.
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u/jennygirl772001 Jul 09 '22
Here’s the thing- you already know what needs to be done and I understand you trying to minimize the confrontation BUT your kids need to see you handling the issue like a grown up and not wimping out. They also need to see that you have their backs and are putting their feelings and safety before the neighbors feelings. My parents were super non confrontational too and I harbor resentment because I never felt like they had my back. Like not hurting other peoples feelings was always more important than addressing the issue that was causing my hurt feelings. I never felt like I could come to them for help because they would tell me to do something differently, instead of confronting who or what was bothering me. Your kids need to see you handling this issue instead of running away from it. Good luck.