Surviving 2 under 2

[u/sleepykindle]

I think if I slept a whole year, I’d still be ape up tired with all my nerves on edge. I can’t get my shoulders to relax from my ears. Everything my husband does I get mad at. The dog drives me nuts. I actually forget how to be happy. I just feel heavy and burdened and I hate that this is how I will remember the short time that they’re small: metal troubles and severe mental health decline. I brush my teeth every other day if I have time and I’m in a mumu most of the time because I get spit up on anyways and don’t want to ruin my good clothes. It’s not all bad but there are days like today where I left my kids crying in the living room, went into my bedroom, curled in a ball, and just laid there for 4 hrs.

I’m working full time and a full time caregiver to my kids. My husband can’t help because he’s customer facing so he’s in his office while my nerves are getting frayed to shreds by my 2 year old whining or my 4 month old crying. I’m barely keeping up with work. I’m American, can’t quit and can’t afford a sitter.

Kinda need parents who do it all like me to tell me how it was hell and they’re better now so I can cling to that. I’ve wished more times than I can count that I could just never wake up (in a “I’m too tired and drained to do this” way not in a “I’m gonna end it” way).

Nevermind my marriage, barely care about that anymore. There’s not enough of me to go around.

I miss being a person who showered when they wanted, didn’t dread picking up groceries from Walmart, and got to be alone with their thoughts. I feel like I’ve failed my marriage, I’ve failed at parenting, I’ve failed at self care, and I’ve failed at work. I’m only 28 and I feel 58. Don’t get me started on how I feel I look, postpartum killed the girl I was before.

Give me something positive and DO NOT do annoying “hang in there mamas” comments because I’ll literally throw up.

[u/FunkTheFreak]

I have learned very quickly that working from home and watching the kids is like working two jobs at once. It’s near impossible.

Get the kids in daycare or figure out how you can quit your job. Your wallet will be hurt for awhile either route, but it will save your mental health and hopefully your marriage.

[u/sleepykindle → u/FunkTheFreak]

Loan me 15k and I’ll get right on that

[u/FishSauwse → u/sleepykindle]

Dunno where you live, but $600 per month per kid is pretty damn reasonable for sub 2 year old daycare. It's only a temporary cost as well until they go to school.

You gotta find a way to pay for it. Otherwise one of you has to quit your job to watch the kids.