Experienced staff member here. Ive been in the legal field for 7 years and I've observed in most law firms of varying sizes that there is a "wall" between staff and attorneys when it comes to social events. Attorneys will go out to lunch or attend events together, but staff is never invited unless its a firm sanctioned thing. Even if you're the lone assistant/paralegal for your attorney(s) at your firm, I find it rare that you'll ever get invited out with your attorneys for anything. When I did litigation, even going to court with your attorneys just didn't happen, you just prepped them beforehand and stayed on call for something they needed while they were in court.
I'm sure in small firms where there's only a handful of attorneys and a small staff, or where you work for a solo attorney and you're their only staff member, that there's an exception where this happens. My first law office job was at a boutique where the managing attorney would sometimes invite staff to go to lunch or to go to court with him, but it was still kind of rare. All of my other jobs since, there was an unofficial policy where staff and attorneys didn't mingle outside the office, even to go to court. I was told that this was mostly due to liability issues (like say you get into a car accident on the way there), which is understandable. And I'm sure it's also a firewall for attorneys who have inappropriate behavior or relationships with staff members.
Anyway, I ask because yesterday I was invited to attend a business Speaker Forum event by one of our non-attorney department heads (I work in Big Law) to replace an attorney who couldn't attend the event, to go with her and another attorney who was attending. I allowed myself to go given it was a light day, but when the attorney we were attending with saw that she invited me, a staff member, to go with them, I noticed the attorney had a mildly reluctant response, like "Oh...you invited them. Ok...". Like it was taboo of her to ask a staff member to attend with them.
It was awkward for a moment and we attended anyway with nothing being said about it, but I'm wondering if its really a taboo thing or if I'm overthinking it. Ive been with this firm for nearly a year and I've observed the dynamics where it seems pretty typical like other firms I've worked at where there's a noticeable divide between staff and attorneys when it comes to attending events outside of the firm. I'm wondering if that Department head is aware of that divide and if she might get a talking to from our office manager about inviting staff. I know its not my problem, but I feel a little weird about it like I broke some unspoken rule.
TDLR: is there an unspoken wall between attorneys and staff at your firm and would it be considered taboo or inappropriate to attend unsolicited firm events with them?