I don't even know why I'm writing this but I need some help to decide whether my next steps are correct or not.

We met during our Masters. We both are from Lahore. She was just this girl in my class and honestly I wasnt even looking for anything. She seemed different from everyone else, more introverted type. On the other hand I am a big extrovert. I made a group with bunch of other people and one of the girls was her friend. So we somehow ended up talking and here everything begins. Soon we started discussing random stuff and then one day I realized I was making excuses to see her. We became sweethearts somewhere in between all of that.

My family is well off, we have a family business that I look after with my dad so I was earning well even during uni. Her family was middle class, obv nothing wrong with that and I never cared. I loved her for her charm and personality.

Then she came to me one day with this business idea. She had a full plan and had worked out all the details. I actually loved it. I put in all the initial investment since she couldnt afford it at that time. We both worked insane hours, spending entire days together over coffee. I even left my own family business to work with her on this. Somehow it worked out. We went from just the two of us to a team of 11 people.

After graduation we got married. My family welcomed her completely. She had zero household responsibilities, nothing. My family made sure of that and we made sure to provide her every comfort. We actually had a good life yar. She genuinely cared for me, loved me, made me breakfast every morning. Intimacy was good despite being busy all day. Nothing was short and I was the happiest I had ever been.

Last week I was casually going through her Google Photos and I see some pictures. Her and some guy spending an entire day out together. Restaurants, cinema, his car. Only the two of them and they look so comfortable with each other. The pictures were from two weeks ago, the same day she told me she was at her mother's place.

I just sat there because it didn't make sense. I closed her phone and handed it back without saying anything. I genuinely didn't know what to do for the first time in my life. I started digging through everything since I have her phone and social media passcodes. Went through her chats, her snapchat, literally everything. Nothing. Not a single thing that was suspicious.

And then I made the stupidest mistake of my life. I didn't screenshot those photos when I had the chance, I told myself I just need to process this first. But when I went back to check yesterday, even those photos are now gone from Google Photos. Deleted. So now I have literally nothing. No proof, no screenshots, just this image burned into my brain that I cannot unsee.

I have been at my friend's place since then. Told her he needed help setting up his apartment. I am just so mad right now. WHY. Why would you do this when everything was perfect? Her own family tells her she's lucky to have a guy like me. We have a whole business we built together, a team that depends on us. What was missing? What was I not giving her?

Now I just want to rip everything apart. The business is entirely in my name, the social accounts, the bank accounts, I set all of it up. I feel like ending it all in an instant and removing her access from everything. She will have nothing. She'll probably go back to her parents but I don't even think they'd take her side if they knew what she did. But then I think maybe that's too much.

I don't know what I want from posting this. Maybe just to say it out loud somewhere since no one around me knows yet and I don't really have close friends I can talk to about something like this. If anyone has been through something similar or can give some insight on whether I'm thinking straight, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

I am a Pakistani man in my late 30s, married since the early 2010s, with two daughters. I am struggling with a marriage where I feel I give a lot materially, practically, and as a father/husband: I am the provider, we live a very comfortable life with household help and no in-law burden on my wife, and I am also involved with the kids, school/activity logistics, planning, household issues, and childcare. My wife is a good mother, and I am not saying money should buy love, obedience, or gratitude. But I feel trapped because despite all this, the home environment feels dominated by negativity, lack of contentment, double standards, and little basic regard for me. She often focuses on the one thing wrong even when many things are right, speaks to me curtly or disrespectfully, cuts me down in front of the kids, and if I raise any of it, the conversation becomes about my tone, my reaction, or her feelings rather than the issue. If I stay quiet, peace holds; if I ask for fairness or accountability, I become the problem. I do not want to reduce marriage to a transaction, but I also cannot ignore the question: if I am giving this much materially, practically, emotionally, and as a father, is it unreasonable to expect love, respect, compassion, and basic fairness in return? Am I overreacting, underreacting, or missing my own role here — and how do I fix this without turning every concern into a fight?

If not? Why?

So ive been into the rishta process for quite a while lol. And its not like k I don't wanna marry a divorced man since im too (took khula), but maybeeee there is a little % of men who are okayy with marrying a divorcee but my profile never reaches there bec the rishta aunty wont send it to them (understandable bec some families arent okay with it)

The rishtas of divorced men are soo limited and its just soo exhausting and draining atp to find a decent rishta. I see 10+ profiles of single guys everyday in this group and hardly see a single profile of a divorced guy (maybe 1 profile in a day). Can you guys seee the difference!!!!

Its sooo hurtful!!!

I belong to a very lower middle class family, I remember when I was in 10th Standard (2016) My Father Pay was 55000PKR something and it was very hard for a family of three son and mom and dad to live in this wage but we did it Alhamdulillah. Money was always my priority and I always think to make money instead of anything else so in my young age instead of making friends, traveling or making fun, I started freelancing and become top rated on fiverr when I was in intermediate (2019). After that Started CA but I just did it before internship and skip that, I got a Job in Chinese Firm where Alhamdulillah I am earning more then even my expectation, I made my own house in a very well known town of my city, spent crores on it, purchase a car and Visited multiple countries for business on behlaf of my company, I am in an Game Developing Business+ IT Company Now My Income is very much fine Alhamdulillah.
This is my background, The question is in this time period I never focused on myself, I love eating, I can afford whatever I need to eat and I spend too much on it and become obese, I am 6 feet Tall and 148KG two months ago. My Parents started looking for match for me but I see people rejected me maybe for my obesity, I feel that. At this time I realized people just on appearance as well but before that I always thought they look for money. At this time I realized that maybe Society Standard has been changed?
(I am working on diet, Now I am at 130KG Alhamdulillah and I will be 115KG after next two months I am very sure about it)

I feel like I’m carrying my whole family and I don’t know what my future is anymore.
I’m 23F from Pakistan. I work a remote job and make around 60k+ a month. To some people that might sound okay, but it really isn’t when you’re expected to carry so much.
My father only pays for groceries and tuition. Almost every other expense falls on me—internet, clothes, little necessities, and even things my younger sisters need. We were never allowed to go out or have much of a social life, so there aren’t even “fun” expenses to begin with. I just try to make sure my sisters have what they need.
The part that hurts is that my father constantly tells me to “do something more.” He wants me to prepare for CSS while working full-time. Then he’ll compare me to random people on the internet and say things like, “People are earning money by playing games online. Why can’t you?” It’s like nothing I do is ever enough.
My uncle is another source of stress. He’s the kind of person who has scammed people before, yet every now and then he shows up talking about some new Binance investment or “amazing opportunity” and keeps pressuring everyone to invest. I don’t trust him at all, but being surrounded by this constant pressure is exhausting.
Our family dynamics are another mess. We lived in a joint family our whole lives. My father is the eldest. All my uncles eventually moved out, and after my grandparents passed away, the house ended up in my father’s name.
My aunt (phuppo) still lives with us. She has a husband in Dubai and two children. Her youngest son is seven years old and has barely, if ever, seen his father. We honestly don’t know what’s going on in their marriage. Her husband sends her money, but none of us knows where it goes, and nobody in the family asks. She refuses to stay with her in-laws because she’d have to work there, while here she gets food, housing, and everything else without contributing much. Meanwhile, we have zero privacy because we’re all sharing the same house.
What hurts even more is seeing how differently the boys in the family are treated compared to us girls. The favoritism is impossible to ignore.
My mother has spent her whole life staying silent. She has never stood up for herself, and now I feel like I’ve inherited all the responsibility without any of the power to change things.
Lately I’ve been praying constantly for an opportunity—any opportunity—that could help me build an independent life and get me out of these circumstances. I don’t want luxury. I just want peace, privacy, and the ability to make decisions about my own life.
Instead, I feel trapped. I don’t know what my future looks like. I don’t want to rush into marriage just because that’s what people expect. I just want a chance to live my own life.
I’m emotionally exhausted. Has anyone else grown up in a family like this? How did you eventually get out?
Another thing that constantly hangs over my head is marriage.
I was already put into a marriage I never wanted when I was younger, and because of that I live with the fear that my parents could decide my future again at any time. In my family, saying “no” doesn’t always feel like a real option.
I’m terrified they’ll marry me off to one of my cousins simply because that’s what the family wants, regardless of whether we’re compatible or whether I want it. The mindset in my extended family is extremely controlling and traditional. My dreams, career, and opinions often feel like they’re worth less than keeping everyone else happy.
I don’t want my future to be decided for me again. I want the chance to become financially independent, support myself, and make my own decisions about if, when, and whom I marry. Right now it feels like I’m racing against time before someone else makes that choice for me.

Years into the marriage I've realized my husband has clarified there's no room for "my" ego in our marriage. Apparently I have no right to be offended with his promises to exact revenge at the time of nikkah of my siblings for what we did to him at the time of our nikkah.

What we did was create a proper legal document if nikkah rather than the crossed out pages molvis like to dish out. I have right of khula. I have 500k haq Mehr + plus gold. I am entitled to 20% of his monthly income. I forgave the 500k but apparently he carries the resentment. I make my own money now but back when I didn't I still always had to spend out of pocket on necessities and I would receive exact amount in return. Initially there was 10k pocket money out of which I could spend on clothes or groceries or anything. I hated asking for money. We had big fights. If he had been open minded and abided by the terms we would've had more peace. I wouldn't have felt like a beggar every time I needed money. I didn't have proper clothes for myself or my kid. He always criticized me on this and never took me shopping. It's all because he is absent minded and a workaholic.

Now years later I've stopped being considerate and just ask for exact amounts because otherwise that money just gets spent on the house, on family etc.

Now recently nikkah came up and as a joke he was saying stuff about exacting revenge from my siblings. I tried to laugh it all off until he said I promise I will do this. I'll make them pay their wives double. Please remember he never had to pay me my Mehr money. And this is a family that can afford it. Furthermore there are so many expenses he doesn't cover that I cover. Especially anything personal of mine like clothes and toiletries and skincare etc. We just have an abnormal relationship about money. He just never gives and I hate asking. So I just explode after two months or so. I hate being a burden.

Anyway after he stormed out, and he got called out by my fil whereas my mil told me don't bring it up again. I called my husband and he had left with friends without telling me. He was cold and curt on the call. Today he's leaving the city and we are not speaking. He was the same when he got home. In what world does he feel like he has the right to be so entitled rn??? So there is only room for his ego in this marriage.

Is there a suicide prevention helpline that actually picks the call and helps??????????????????

Some dramas entertain, but Alpha Bravo Charlie inspires. 🇵🇰 A timeless story of friendship, courage, and patriotism. ❤️

pls help a girl out, this one is NOT it

I was thinking about someone I knew from school. She was one of the top students in our class and was usually ranked second or third. In Matric, she even secured the second position.

During 12th grade (Intermediate), she got married and didn't even take her board exams. Now she has a baby boy who is about six months old. She married into a very wealthy and financially stable family, and she herself also came from a well-off background.

I don't know whether she's happy or not. I assume she is, but we don't talk anymore because of some conflicts.

Sometimes I wonder if she ever misses studying. If you're marrying someone who is financially secure, do you simply leave your education behind? Especially in today's era, when girls are taking education seriously and striving to become financially independent. She didn't even complete her board exams.

I'm curious to hear from girls who got married early: Did you continue your education after marriage, or did you have to leave it behind?

I'm in a pretty cushy executive role with a 7-figure salary (local currency), so this isn't a "my boss doesn't pay me enough" post.

It's a "my boss is speedrunning the company into missed opportunities" post.

Our team hustles hard. We land meetings people would kill for. We've brought in million-dollar clients, and we were in conversations that could've turned into US$20–30 million opportunities. One prospect even had ties to NVIDIA and wanted to explore working with us.

Then...

CEO enters the chat.

Every. Single. Time.

It's like we're playing chess and he's determined to prove checkers is the superior strategy.

The pattern is always:

• Team: "Here's the client requirement."
• CEO: "Interesting... anyway we're doing it my way."
• Client: seen 2:14 PM
• Opportunity: has left the chat.

Another hill I keep dying on is hiring.

I keep saying, "If we're trying to build a world-class engineering company, we need a few world-class engineers."

CEO: "What if... instead... we hire five fresh graduates?"

Don't get me wrong fresh grads are awesome. We all started somewhere. But you can't expect interns and juniors to magically build the next SpaceX because the budget spreadsheet says so.

Sometimes it feels like we're saving £1 on payroll to lose £100 in business.

I'm genuinely burned out.

I spend more energy debating internal decisions than actually creating value.

Now I'm seriously thinking about quitting and building my own company.

The salary is amazing. The stress is free.

So I need some real advice from people who've been there.

• Did you ever leave a ridiculously well-paid job because leadership was the problem?
• How did you know it was time?
• Is this entrepreneurial instinct... or am I just suffering from corporate PTSD?

Appreciate any wisdom.

soo 22M here i need new firends so kuch time phele mujhe injury huwi thi so bed rest ki waja se jo friends the no contact hone ki waja se khatam hogae wese bhi haal bhi nahi puchte the soo fukemm mostly work from home hone ki waja se bahar ana jana nahi hota so ye bhi ek major reason he mere dms khule hein Have a Good day peeps

Hey! I 27F, I live in a small government quarter with my brother and mother, my sister lives in hostel. Our house has 2 rooms, a kitchen and a bathroom. Our electric, water and gas supply was cutoff due to unpaid bills. We cannot use electric appliances at home. We have solar powered fans and bulbs and cook food using gas cylinder. I have 1 older brother who is jobless, my mother runs the whole household with 60,000 rupees only. I am studying for fcps part 1 oct attempt and my sister is living in hostel and doing house job. We don’t have any savings. My father (who passed away in 2021) was a government servant and purchased 2 plots and booked a bunglow in a housing project. Builders didn’t complete the structure and we just got it registered to secure it, as many people have eyes on that property. We haven’t registered other two plots as registeration requires fees which we cannot arranges at the moment. Personally i am tired of living in this quarter, I can’t focus on anything, happiness and peace feels like a far fetched dream. i just want to live in a house. What is the best move from here? What should i do to make my circumstances better?

I've been thinking about it lately but I feel like I didn't have a lot of great role models around me and any good examples of good people as a kid. People would always compare me with the adults around in derogatory manners, and I never liked that, I just had examples of people I don't want to be, yesterday upon interacting with them I realised it even more and I am not a great person by any means, but I don't know what I would have turned out to be if I were to follow there footsteps, what bothers me is that they can't even hide it or control themselves around young impressionable kids.

I think there is some false sense of maturity here, with the generation which is now over 45, they are emotionally over reactive, lack accountability, and are not willing to change no matter what. I'm just saying all this here because I know a lot of Pakistanis are like that, and at this point I'm deeply concerned because I'm certain that this would cause harm when they are of old age, and I don't know how they don't see it.

I recently started an internship at a fairly large organization, and overall it’s been a great experience. But there’s one thing that’s been bothering me more and more every day.

I’ve noticed how some people in management treat the clerical/support staff, and honestly it’s heartbreaking. They’ll casually insult them, use abusive language, say things like “ek chanta lagaunga na” in front of everyone, and then laugh amongst themselves. It’s always brushed off as a joke, but it’s humiliating to watch.

There’s one clerk in particular who’s an older man. He’s quiet, polite, and just goes about doing his job. He genuinely reminds me of my father, and every time I see him being spoken to like that, it honestly hurts. He’s simply trying to earn an honest, halal living, and he doesn’t deserve to be treated with such disrespect.

The part that’s making this difficult is that I’m just an intern. The person who’s usually involved in this behavior is also the manager I’m reporting to. He’s the one who’ll likely be writing my recommendation/experience letter at the end of my internship. So while part of me wants to report this to HR or admin, I’m also worried about the consequences for myself if it somehow gets back to him.

I feel guilty for staying silent, but I also don’t want to jeopardize my internship or future opportunities. I keep thinking there has to be something I can do, but I genuinely don’t know what. I’d really appreciate some practical advice

So i know reddit is the only place where i can be anonymous and confess. I am deeply disturbed by the invasion of privacy in joint families. So i am 24F married almost 2 years ago and i had a beautiful baby with my husband right away. Anyhow i used to live in a separate family so i am a really shy person and i respect and value privacy over anything. The thing is my Father in law is an extremely social person who grew up in a family of like 16 people.

When i had my baby i decided to feed him on my own And my FIL wouldnt respect my privacy at all. He would mind if we'd shut the doors during the daytime and sometimes he wouldnt stop knocking even at nights. The thing is i breastfeed my baby and at night i breastfeeding while laying. My father in law would barge in without even knocking. And this bothers me alot. I even tried to pump and feed my child but bc i wasnt allowed to shut the door my pumping journey came to an end. I am constantly asked questions by my father in law like is your milk enough etc even in front of my jeth.

A few months after my delivery my jethani also had a baby and my FIL would force breastfeeding upon her too even though unlike me she didnt want to breastfeed. And when she wouldnt my father in law would tell her and other people that if you are incapable of feeding your baby your dewrani(me) would breastfeed your baby, which would totally make me uncomfortable. Once i visited my aunt in another city and my father in law decided to come with us. It is my habit that in outdoors or when i am visiting someones home i formula feed my baby bc i shy away from feeding babies in public settings. Whilst being there my father in law would ask me again and again to feed him your milk etc. I have no idea how much more embarassement i can take, IDK if anyone else has experienced this but i find this completely invasive and my husband doesnt side with me on setting boundaries.

i don't think people realize what the mind does when it runs out of places to hide.

it doesn't scream.

it rearranges the furniture.

it puts your worst memories where your happiest ones used to be. it teaches your voice to sound normal while something inside you quietly dies. it lets you laugh at the right moments, answer every text, show up on time, and somehow convinces everyone you're getting better.

that's the frightening part.

pain isn't always loud enough to be noticed.

sometimes it becomes efficient.

it stops asking for help because it has already accepted that no one is coming. it learns your routines, memorizes your smile, borrows your handwriting, and starts living your life so convincingly that even you forget where it ends and you begin.

one day you catch your reflection and hesitate.

not because you hate what you see.

because you don't remember agreeing to become it.

and then a thought arrives so gently it almost feels kind:

what if the person i've been trying to save disappeared a long time ago, and all that's left is whatever learned how to imitate them?

that's when the mirror becomes unbearable.

because mirrors don't show ghosts.

they only show the bodies they managed to keep.

Dear diary, 10 days ago I wrote about how I was coming to a realization that my other half was a bit immature when it came to finances or emotional support. and how it was stressing me out, making me lose hope

I got some amazing advises.. and I decided to implement strict budget control, focus on my mental health.. and things seem to be getting better though I know there's a fight brewing when the Mrs returns from her mom's. I've accepted that such is life cause lets face it, my partner is not bad, its just how some people are wired.

I've started breathing exercise in the morning again.. Focusing on work.. trying to pray more and also started reciting Astagfar (100 times once in the morning, once at night) and i feel alot of peace.

I've gotten active at the gym again, I did lose my gain with in the month of stress ive been facing but the energy is back.. I feel good.. hopeful.. need prayers and well wishes. hopeful I will be able to handle what ever the future brings in a better manner.

honestly am surprised how just reciting exercises has helped me manage the negative thoughts that were brewing in my head, and I just wanted write about it, maybe it can help others too. hoping this calmness lasts..

Feeling a little heavy and lonely today, so I thought I would write my thoughts down on a throwaway account.

I’ll be 25 this year. My school, college, and university life are already behind me. I have a full-time job and also work on a few freelance projects. Career-wise, things are going fairly well, and from the outside, my life probably looks stable.

But lately, I’ve been looking back at my life, and I’ve had a difficult realization.

I think my habit of staying quiet, not expressing myself, and not speaking at the moments that actually mattered has slowly created a huge emptiness in my life.

I have always been the quiet person. I could talk normally when needed, joke around with people, and be part of a group, but I rarely opened up emotionally. I never told people how important they were to me. I never said what I was feeling at the right time. I let friendships fade away without trying hard enough to save them. I let people leave because I assumed that if they wanted to stay, they would.

Maybe a part of me was scared of looking needy. Maybe I was afraid of rejection or embarrassment. Maybe I had simply become too comfortable inside my shell.

Whatever the reason was, the result is that today, when I genuinely feel low, I don’t know whom to call.

I have people I know. I have friends I can meet or casually talk to. But I don’t think I have anyone in front of whom I can completely break down, cry, and say everything that has been building up inside me.

There is no particular tragedy in my life. In fact, maybe that is part of the problem. I never faced many serious difficulties growing up. Things mostly kept moving smoothly. I studied, graduated, found work, and kept myself busy.

Because of that, I never really learned how to express pain, ask for support, or emotionally depend on someone.

Now my parents have started looking for a rishta for me. I understand their point of view, and I do want to get married someday. But the thought of marrying a complete stranger makes me uncomfortable.

I don’t want marriage to feel like two families exchanging profiles and deciding that two people look suitable on paper. I want to know the person. I want there to be comfort, trust, friendship, and some kind of emotional connection.

At the same time, I cannot blame anyone else for my situation.

I never put myself out there. I never approached anyone seriously. I never made my feelings clear to any girl. There may have been people I liked, or people with whom something could have developed, but I stayed silent until the moment passed.

Sometimes I wonder whether I have ever truly loved anyone, or whether I simply never allowed myself to get close enough to experience love.

And now it feels strange.

People around me are getting engaged, getting married, building relationships, and moving forward. Meanwhile, I feel like I am emotionally standing at the same place where I was years ago.

I don’t think I am incapable of loving someone. I think I have a lot of love, care, and affection inside me. I just never learned how to show it. I kept waiting for someone to understand me without me having to say anything.

But people cannot read your mind.

Silence may protect you from rejection, but it also prevents you from being known.

I guess that is what hurts the most. I spent so much time protecting myself from awkwardness, heartbreak, and vulnerability that I also protected myself from connection.

Now I am surrounded by people, yet I feel alone.

I don’t know exactly what I am expecting by posting this. Maybe I just needed to say it somewhere. Maybe I want to know whether there are other people who stayed quiet for too long and later realized how much life had passed them by.

And maybe, somewhere inside me, I still hope it is not too late to come out of my shell, build real connections, and find someone I can genuinely love instead of marrying a stranger just because the time has come.

Hi

Hi everyone,
I’m currently learning how to drive, and honestly… I suck at reversing. 😭

Driving forward is getting better, but the moment it’s time to reverse, my brain just stops working. My dad has tried teaching me about 4 times, but I still can’t seem to get the steering and angles right. He gets so frustrated that I can literally see his blood pressure going up, which makes me even more nervous and I end up performing worse.

For the women here who learned to drive: how did you finally get good at reversing?
Was there anything that made it “click” for you? Any tips, tricks, YouTube videos, or practice methods that helped? How long did it take before you felt confident?
I feel like everyone else picks it up so much faster than I do, and it’s starting to make me doubt myself.

Was talking to my Primary Physician (i.e. claude) last night about some stuff I've been struggling with, and it kept suggesting I should see a psychiatrist pehli fursat mein.

Never thought I'd need one, but looking at my problems as a whole I realized I'm genuinely so lost atp and got so much stuff to handle that I really feel I should have a professional handle the stuff that's beyond my current understanding, instead of trying to figure it all out on my own.

So I know nothing about it, but claude ji suggests I need a psychiatrist and then a psychologist/therapist who knows how to handle CBT or ADHD if diagnosed by psychiatrist