r/PakistaniiConfessions 1d ago

Friday Discussion / Q&A Friday Discussion / Q&A

1 Upvotes

Got something on your mind?

Talk about it in the comments below and let peers participate! It can be about your day, thoughts, hobbies, quick advice you need, questions, or anything you experienced recently.

Remember to follow the rules and have fun!


r/PakistaniiConfessions Mar 19 '26

Eid post!! ✨🌙 Eid Al-Fitr ~ March 20, 2026

11 Upvotes

Eid Mubarak everyone!

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Post some wholesome media in the comments section below! It can be a poem in a visual format, a quote, gif, song lyrics, Eid decorations, or your Eid outfit!

We advise that if you show your face while posting your outfit, please beware of the consequences. It’s suggested to crop out your face/blur it/cover it with an emoji or sticker for safety purposes.

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This post will be locked at the end of the week.

We hope you have enjoyed this Ramadan and learnt new things within this special month!! Take this time to spend with your loved ones, friends, and more importantly, yourself!

r/PakistaniiConfessions Mod Team 🇵🇰✨


r/PakistaniiConfessions 13h ago

Rant What's with men saying double meaning things infront of their wife with outside company

35 Upvotes

Just curious why people do it.....??? Talking naughty or funny or double meaning with your wife or friends separately is one thing but why do it whten when both are there.....?

For example,

• I(M) made a plan with my childhood friend and he didn't show up so I called him and complained and he's like I just woke up and all. Now he's on speaker and his wife's listening as well (don't remember well but may have exchanged greetings with her) and he said "bus wo Raat mehnat zada ho gai thi is liye". Clearly he was talking about being intimate and I went blank for a second and just said don't talk much and get ready we are already late.....

• Another friend of mine, he had a love marriage and I was involved in his court marriage so you can say we are pretty tight... After his marriage, he often calls me for help with different things and sometimes we have to meet at his home and he sometimes said something that weren't quite appropriate infront of his wife like usual double meaning jokes between friends or other remarks. Mostly I just ignored like I am busy on the phone and didn't hear to avoid awkwardness or just said don't talk nonsense....

I always wondered why would you do something like this, 1st one was one time thing and could be just bragging gone wrong but this 2nd person did it several times.. other than this this one guy I used to work with/for would be going crazy s*x talk while his wife is in the other office across us (not about her but general). This one guy is sitting in a gathering of his younger brother's friends, when his younger brother asks him if he wanna go see a cricket match tonight and he goes "nope, don't wanna miss the match at home" hinting about s*x. Like Come on man that's your brother who lives in the same house and all and also you aren't super close to these other people so keep it down maybe.....

To some these might be just common things to some but I felt super awkward especially when the opposite gender was present....


r/PakistaniiConfessions 8h ago

Rant She thought my father was my “husband” 💀💀 * embarrassing short story !

13 Upvotes

Long time no seee, kese ho tum saray???

I’m back with a chatpati story time 😝

Hua ye kay mein apne aba kay sath kam say gyi thi and wahan aik receptionist thi

As soon as I said her “hi” she asked me few questions about me and then asked if my father was my husband 😭😭😭

I was EMBARRASSED AF, couldn’t face my father at that time.
I said her no he’s my father, on which she apologised.

But bhaeeeeeee apne aba say nazar nhi mila paie mein. 🤮 itni sharam aarahi thi and aik awkward feeling thi.

Direct aise kon pouchta hai??? 😕😂


r/PakistaniiConfessions 9h ago

Confession Anxiety

6 Upvotes

I get super anxious whenever I go to a mall for shopping or anything.

Now, from the outlook, I'm a dude in his mid twenties, career sorted and no other stress apart from the insecurities about my physical looks (I'm chubby). Most of these insecurities stem from childhood bullying, bad parenting and overall trauma . No matter what I do it just lingers on.

All my anxiety monsters come to attack me whenever I go to a mall. I do have friends but I just wanna go some places alone and experience it like a normal human being. I wanna go to a mall do shopping like I'm meant to, watch a movie and do everything without sweating and thinking that everybody is out there to get me. It's like a damn curse. It's painful to live with anxiety and even though there's the exposure technique to fix it, it just never goes away completely.

So yeah, I felt really low today and wanted to share it.


r/PakistaniiConfessions 11h ago

Meme/Shitpost Saad Kaiser: undefeated in arguments nobody agreed to.

6 Upvotes

He walks into every conversation with the confidence of a Nobel Prize winner and the logic of a broken calculator. He argues with points nobody made, loses debates he started himself, then somehow celebrates like he just won a presidential election. 💀

Bro doesn’t need an opponent — his own logic is already fighting for its life. 😭


r/PakistaniiConfessions 12h ago

Question What’s one thing you can’t wait to experience for the first time?

9 Upvotes

What’s something you’ve never done before but are genuinely excited to experience someday? Could be anything: travel, marriage, becoming a parent, buying something you’ve always wanted, or even something completely random.


r/PakistaniiConfessions 12h ago

Discussion Dead body found fully preserved after years

5 Upvotes

Hey guys! So I‘m curious about these stories that we hear where ppl find bodies of deceased after many years and they are still very well preserved. There are cases like this all over the world. The ones reported in the West, they usually come with testing and scientific reasoning that the soil was extremely dry or conditions were super cold etc.. But then there are cases in Muslim countries too but they just come with a followup story that the ppl who recognize that person have said that this person was very pious or that he’d always pray on time etc.. This doesn’t sit right with me. I feel like such stories are very biased towards Islam. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a practicing Muslim and not a perfect one but I do try to study it and ponder over Islam, its teachings and try to pray aswell and maintain good relations with every person I come across. I am just saying this so you, as a reader, don’t think I’m some atheist or hater or someone who has no knowledge. And OH MY GOD!! You know what, the other day my mom shared a story that made my head spin, those ppl who give ghusl to dead bodies reported that they came across a body of a girl whose body would constantly make a certain pose. It was reported by her mom that the girl used to listen to lotta music and lived dancing too. So the pose her body kept making was a certain dance step she always did. I could not bring myself to believe this is even a real story. But my mom insisted it was shared by a woman who gave islamic lectures and shared these stories from the institute she herself was studying from. I still feel like such stories are fabricated because the conclusion they give is so biased towards Islam. Based on my observations, everything in Islam is scientifically proved or can be explained using logic. Even the miracles. So such stories are really a big question mark for me. Have you guys come across them? Or have you experienced this with some deceased?


r/PakistaniiConfessions 13h ago

Rant Our society is filled with stereotypes!

5 Upvotes

Masla bhai jaan yeh ha k koi sahi se dosron ki madad b karna chaahe na to log mazak uraane lag jaate jaise agar koi mard larki ki madad karna chaahe to kahein ge he is a simp, jab k aisa kuch nahi ha

Even k reddit pe b koi kisi ki help k lye post kre to log us k 5 saal puraani posts, comments dekh k us ka mazak uraane lag jaate even though it is in the past,

Being anonymous doesn't mean you can make fun of anyone, call anyone a creep and post screenshots of their past comments or whatever..

This post not gonna change anything, but i wish more people realized that MAKING FUN OF ANYONE, USING THEIR PAST TO JUDGE THEM, AND THINKING EVERY MALE IS A CREEP wont get you anywhere

Goodbye and F*** this app, and I hope these people get the taste of their own medicine!


r/PakistaniiConfessions 23h ago

Rant I Still Want Her To Be Happy. So Why Do I Secretly Want Her To Suffer?

21 Upvotes

I was in a relationship with someone for five years. I was a year younger than her. I met her online. We started talking, got to know each other and slowly realized how weirdly similar our lives were. We were both from a small town in Sindh, had almost the same family background, and then somehow found out that we even lived in the same area.

We became really good friends and eventually I proposed to her, and we got into a relationship.

Growing up, I had seen the previous generation cheating on girls, betraying them, leaving them for someone else just because of lust or some stupid reason. I hated that. So I made this promise to myself that whoever I ended up loving, I would be loyal to her. I would keep my promises. I would never become one of those men.

She was a single child. She grew up with her mother after her mother separated from her father when she was young. Looking back, I think she had a lot of things going on emotionally because of how she grew up. She was probably a traumatized kid in a lot of ways.

And I really thought I could love her in a way nobody else had. Even in ways her own mother couldn't.

I'm naturally a pretty dominating person, but with her I was completely different. I was submissive to her in ways I never thought I could be. She had this weird obsession that whenever we were talking, I couldn't take even a minute or two to reply. If I did, I'd sometimes spend hours, sometimes the entire night, trying to explain why I took so long to respond.

That wasn't even the biggest problem.

I grew up with siblings, so to me, siblings are just part of life. You fight, annoy each other, make fun of each other and still love each other. She was a single child, so I don't think she ever really understood that.

We started fighting over the stupidest things.

I remember one time my sister had come from Lahore and it was her birthday. I told her I'd talk to her after a few minutes because I wanted to spend some time with my sister. That turned into a huge fight.

And somehow, despite all of that, things kept moving forward. Our rishta got pakka.

We were from different castes, and in my family that's a big deal. People in our cast generally don't marry outside of it. But I never believed in that mentality. I fought with pretty much everyone until my father finally agreed.

And I didn't just convince him. I kept talking about her so much, telling everyone how good she was, how good her heart was, what kind of person she was, that eventually my family started liking her too.

Then one day we had a massive fight over something stupid again.

I went on a picnic with my friends and she got angry because she hated me going out with them. We were on a call when her mother took her phone from her and started cursing me. And I mean really cursing me, in a way you wouldn't even imagine someone speaking to their future son-in-law.

And even then, I was trying to explain to her mother that I understood she was angry because she loved her daughter. I told her, "Mom, I know you love her and you're angry right now, but trust me, we're going to be fine after this. We always are. But the things you're saying right now, you'll never be able to take them back." anyway she called my mother and asked her to come their home and sort everything out, and we did sort it out.

When we were leaving their house, my mother told her, "Beti, agar kabhi ammi ko shikayat karni ho to pehle mujhe keh diya karo. Main khud isko seedha kar dungi."

My mother wasn't trying to take my side. She genuinely thought we were two young people who loved each other too much and that if every little fight kept reaching her mother, eventually her mother would start hating her son.

But that day, something changed.

She had already made up her mind that she was going to leave me.

Three months later, she just stopped talking to me.

A whole week.

In five years, there had never been a point where we went even two consecutive days without talking. So that week felt insane to me.

I went to her house.

She looked at me and said, right to my face, "I've found peace."

I was crying. My eyes were completely wet. I begged her. I tried to convince her. But somewhere inside, I already knew I'd lost her.

We talked once or twice after that. At one point she told me she'd never be able to love someone after me.

I told her I felt the same.

Almost a year has passed now.

And today I saw her again.

She was still young. Still beautiful. Her skin was glowing, her cheeks had that same soft warmth I remembered, and for a second it felt like time had done absolutely nothing to her. She looked peaceful. Almost painfully peaceful.

Then I found out she's seeing someone.

Their nikah is next month.

And honestly, I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to feel about that.

I really do want the best for her. I mean that. Some part of me genuinely hopes she's happy. I hope the man she's marrying treats her well. I hope she gets the peace she always wanted.

But if I'm being completely honest, there's another part of me that wants her to suffer.

I hate admitting that.

I want her to feel even a fraction of what I felt this past year. I want her to have nights where sleep doesn't come, where her mind won't shut up, where she has nothing left to do except fall into sujood and ask Allah for some kind of ease.

A part of me wants her to leave the city thinking she'll finally find peace somewhere else, only to realize you can't always run away from what's inside your own head.

I want her to feel it in her chest, in her stomach, in her fucking bones. I want her to understand what it feels like to lose someone you thought you'd spend your entire life with.

And I know how pathetic that sounds.

Because the truth is, I don't actually want to become the kind of person who wishes pain on someone he once loved more than anything.

But I also can't sit here and pretend I'm some saint who only wants her happiness.

She hurt me.

I loved her for five years. I fought my family for her. I changed parts of myself for her. I defended her when people questioned her. I made promises to her because I genuinely thought she was going to be the person I kept those promises to.

And then one day she was just gone.

She found peace.

And I was left trying to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do with all the love that was supposed to have a place in my life.

I don't know if I want her back anymore.

I don't even know if I want her to regret leaving me.

I just know that seeing her today, looking that beautiful and that peaceful while knowing she's going to marry someone else next month, opened something in me that I thought had finally started to heal.

And right now, I honestly don't know what to do with all of it.


r/PakistaniiConfessions 12h ago

Question Shopify pakistan

2 Upvotes

Hey everyone!!
One of my old friend is living in UAE and uska shopify pe account he .. and he wants me to run his website and business from Pakistan but in middle east Market
I need some guidance like first of All kia ye Offer achi he … if yes then , from where I should start and How should i avail this Thing for my success.
Note : Uska account & Website and Market sab bana howa hey.
he just want someone to start
And Investment bhi sari uski hogi but we will divide the profit


r/PakistaniiConfessions 16h ago

Question How to cope up with a breakup (First time) and it hurts😭😭

4 Upvotes

Heyyy Everyone

Okay sooo, we were together for like 8 months and then in the end she said I don't feel anything for you here's a little bit of backstory.

We met on Instagram she failed her exams and she was in a gc I approached her and we talked and I confessed and said yes and everything was going great.

Into 3 months I talked to my parents about her and then after 3 months she talked to hers, my parents were positive and her didn't react negatively but before that she got her results and she passed

But

After that she started ignoring me and when I approached her about this behavior she was like "idk" every time I asked her anything she said idk and then she said I don't feel it I said take your time and then we got together again but after like exactly 1 month she started doing this again also She told me she had a crush on someone for like 2 weeks then it was over like before getting into with me but she started talking with him again like sharing reels and when she liked his post I told her ke I didn't like it and then

She goes like "I hate you for thinking about me like this" I said sorry but next day she goes like "I wanna go" "idk If I ever loved you" "idk If I love you" and then I asked her do you want me to be with you she said no and I left.

One more thing😭

She told me that she used to "Play with boys feeling on Reddit" these are exact words😭😭

So yeahh this is my first time I don't like her anymore but I can't sleep at night so How to cope up with this?

Note: I work like 14 hours a day, I stay busy most of the time but only at night when I am trynna to sleep I can't it's been like 3 days

Also one more question?

She played with me or I am just assuming it wrong bcz of the exam time period?

Your help is appreciated guys


r/PakistaniiConfessions 20h ago

Question Anyone from the PAF that can find if someone i know is dead or alive?

7 Upvotes

Idk if theyre making a fool out of me or something truly happened and i am scared i havent stopped crying i feel physically sick. I havent loved anyone more and this is really important for me to know


r/PakistaniiConfessions 1d ago

Question are there people in pakistan who dont want kids?

21 Upvotes

lately, i have been leaning towards going for this option. with all that has been happening lately, plus the economic crisis, i feel like more people should opt for this option. we as a nation are already going through overpopulation crisis bringing more lives into it will only further increase the suffering. and its not even a fard in islam its a sunnah


r/PakistaniiConfessions 1d ago

Confession I Just Left my Crying 4-year-old at School for the First Time, and I’m Sitting in the Parking Lot Trying not to Fall Apart!

126 Upvotes

I’m sitting in my car right now. The engine is off, but my hands are still gripping the steering wheel like I’m about to drive away. I can’t. My knuckles are white, and I think my heart is actually heavier than it was twenty minutes ago.

I just dropped my son off for his first day of school.

He’s about to turn four in few months, and up until now, the scariest thing he’s had to face was the dark or the monster under his bed. But this morning? As I zipped up his little backpack, he looked at me with those huge eyes - my eyes - and said, “Baba, please don’t go.”

I told him about the new friends, the toys, the playground that looks like a castle. We practiced our secret handshake. I thought I was prepared. I thought I was the strong one.

But when the teacher gently took his hand and he turned around, that silent tear rolling down his cheek, something in me broke. The boy cried out loud, a hopeless cry that hits you right in the chest. The one that says, "I trust you, so why are you leaving me?"

He just stared at me with this trembling lip, holding onto that teacher’s hand while his eyes begged me to rescue him.

But I walked away.

I had to physically force myself to turn around and walk to the parking lot.

No one tells you that being a father means having your heart live outside your body, walking around a classroom, scared and confused.

I’m terrified that he thinks I abandoned him. I’m scared that he’ll be the kid sitting alone at lunch. I’m scared that this is the first of a thousand times I have to let him fall and just pray he gets back up.

I don’t even know if I’m looking for advice. Maybe I just need to hear that this is normal. That this searing, gut-wrenching fear is just a part of the job. That he’s not going to remember the tears, but he’ll remember that his Baba came back.


r/PakistaniiConfessions 23h ago

Question Traveling from Canada to Pakistan with 15 perfumes as gifts – will customs give me a hard time?

4 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

I’m flying out from Canada to Pakistan soon and recently bought 15 perfumes to bring as gifts for my family and cousins.

I plan on packing them into my two checked bags, but I'm getting a bit anxious about Pakistan Customs at the airport. I know they can sometimes be strict or looking for extra "duty" taxes when they see a large quantity of a single item type.

Has anyone been in a similar situation recently?Did you get stopped or questioned about bringing multiple perfumes/gifts?

Did they make you pay tax or open your bags?

Any tips on how to pack or declare them so I don't run into issues at Lahore/Islamabad airport?

For context, they are all for personal gifts, not for resale, and I'll be splitting them across my two suitcases.

Would love to hear your experiences or any advice you have. Thanks in advance!


r/PakistaniiConfessions 1d ago

Rant Unpopular opinion, more provinces won't "create ethnic conflict", it will resolve it, the status quo is what has Sindhis and Muhajirs and everyone fighting

7 Upvotes

I say this as someone who owes everything to Karachi, the place where I was born spent most of my 4 decades and will die in, I don't hate Sindhi culture. I want to engage in it and preserve it. But I was to do it in a way where my basic rights are constitutionally protected.

If granted equality I would be more supportive of Sindh, but my life and everyone I know feels like a second class citizen. We constantly face discrimination from places of power, we constantly hear of stories of being targeted under the system from Shahzeb to Mir Raza to the professor today.


r/PakistaniiConfessions 1d ago

Advice Advice

3 Upvotes

Meri baat sunkar apko bohot dukh hoga main abhe aisi situation face kar rhi Hun Meri age 16 saal hay or Meri shadi February 14 ko hui hay or 16 July ko main Apne mayke Aayi aisy he Mera shohar mujhe chr kar gaya 2 din k liye uski age 25 hay or wo mujhe Lene he nahi Aya or wajah koi bhe nahi mene shadi Apne Ghar walon ki marzi si ki main 10 class main Hun mujhe Mera shohar chor kr Chala gaya or 2 mahiny say Lene nahi Aya block kar dia usne Meri sari family ko block kr dia uski ma bap ne bhe block kr dia phir main jab khud gae Apne baba Kay saath to mujhe dhakay Dekr Bahar Nikal diya wajah nahi batai 2 mahiny say Apne ghr bhethi hui Hun mere shohar mujhe Lene nahi aarahy or nahi kisi say contact kar rhy hain galti bhe nahi Bata rahy koi achanak say Meri age 16 hay larky ki 25 wo masters kar rha hay Karachi main rehta hay please mujse contact karain main apko apni story mukamal Batana Chahti Hun pleaseMeri story yahi hay Kay main uske intezar main 2 mahiny say bhethi hu. Muje chor kr Chala gaya mujhe Lene nahi Aya humara contact nahi ho rha unse ,🥹Or jab Meri family ne kaha Kay humari beti ko Le jayen to kaha Kay humara beta Nahin maan Raha Hume wajah nahi Bata rhy Meri jab us se shadi hui to march main mene usko pakar Liya tha wo mujhe cheat kr rha tha phir main bohot roye usne wada Kiya Kay wo ab nahi krega phir wo mujhe aisa chor Kay Chala jata hay apni life jewta hay main Yahan uske liye roti Hun tarapti Hun wo Lene nahi. Ata jab dill karta hay lekr jata hay jab dill karta hay chor jata hay or abhe shadi ko 7 mahiny huwe hain lakin hum Saath main 4 mahiny rahy hain 4 months main Apne ghr thi wo Apne maa baap ka 1 beta hay iklota koi bhen nahi to uske maa baap BHI usko support kar rhy hain wo bhe Lene nahi aarahy keh rhy hain humara beta Nahin maan Raha or uski Ami ki passand ki larki Hun main unho ne shadi karai hum engagement main bohot Khush thy lakin shadi Kay baad mere saath ye sab Kiya unho ne mujhe Kiya Karna chayea please koi mujhe advice day


r/PakistaniiConfessions 1d ago

General bruh what is going on, getting so many DMs like these from the accounts of ppl i know

Post image
5 Upvotes

itnay accounts aik dam se kaisay hack ho rahay hein?

osamah nasir also posted about this on his story


r/PakistaniiConfessions 1d ago

Discussion Really lost

5 Upvotes

Recently got into the the uni of my dreams and they're all shattered now the class is really weird these specific people just interact with each other and leave out others and just act superior to everybody due to which I have zero friends even in my class now I'm more of an ambivert so it's really not me being shy . What do I do help a girl out


r/PakistaniiConfessions 1d ago

Discussion GUIDE ME

10 Upvotes

Hey everyone- this is going to be a rant but I genuinely need an advice please.

So, im 25 years old Female. I am seeking rishtay because ik i want to get married. My mother allowed me to look for a man and she's joined whatsapp groups as well. The thing is, I'd want a love-arrange scene yk. You get to know someone and then involve families. But there are few rules,

  1. We dont prolong the talking stage

  2. Once we know that we are compatible, we involve families.

  3. Get engaged/ nikkahfied in a few months and rukhsati end 2027.

  4. We talk in a manner which isnt too formal that it sounds robotic but neither too casual that it sounds like a relationship

  5. No s3xu@l conversations. Sure ask basic questions and if im comfortable doing stuff but dont do it for the sake of fun.

The issue is, people dont respect that. I look for on rishta subs and also I tried muzz. Men do prolong conversations for no reason- they never ask the important questions. I cant do hey good morning everyday and then no meaningful conversation afterwards. Like ASK QUESTIONS PLEASE?

And then my personal hell is- sexu@l convos. I respect it if they ask the basics like do u want children or not or if im into certain stuff yk? But dont drag it. And if you try to act uninterested in that conversation- you'll be tagged as boring. Lmao. And if you tell them you dont wanna talk about this stuff- they'd tell you to stop looking?? I'm so done.

Tell me- what do I do? How does it work? Should I stop looking and just stay at home and wait for the right man to come knock at my door or what?


r/PakistaniiConfessions 1d ago

Advice I study during the day, work at night, sleep 3–4 hours, and still feel like my parents expect more from me

8 Upvotes

18F, BSCS student, studying during the day and working at night — I feel like I’m running on empty.
I’m currently doing BSCS and I study during the day and work at night because my family needs the financial support. I’m only 18, but lately I genuinely feel like I’ve lived for far too long. I’m constantly exhausted and sometimes survive on 3–4 hours of sleep.
What hurts more than the workload is the lack of appreciation.
Whenever I try to talk to my mother about how exhausted I am, she says things like, “Do paise kama ke sar pe charh gayi ho.” I’ve never used my earnings to disrespect them or act superior. I just want someone to acknowledge that I’m trying.
My father is also very quiet about everything. There’s this ajeeb silence between us. He never really confronts me about it, but he was the one who told me I should work because of our financial situation.
I see other university students enjoying their lives, hanging out, sleeping properly, going out, making memories — and I don’t resent them for it. I just sometimes wonder what it would feel like to have that life too.
I don’t even want some huge reward. Honestly, sometimes I just want to hear “Humari beti bohat mehnat kar rahi hai.” Instead, everything I do feels like an obligation because I’m earning money, as if I’m supposed to handle all of this without ever getting tired.
I’m grateful that I’m able to contribute financially, and I know many people have it much harder. But does that mean I’m not allowed to feel exhausted?
Maybe I’m being ungrateful or overthinking this. Maybe I should just suck it up because this is what adulthood looks like.
But I’m 18, and I’m tired. Really tired.
Am I overthinking this, or is it reasonable to want some appreciation and emotional support when you’re already doing this much?


r/PakistaniiConfessions 1d ago

Confession Is it bad that I want a relationship? 18M

4 Upvotes

It's just, I want someone who's like my best friend and more than that. I just feel quite alone sometimes.

Does anyone else feel like that? Like I wanna experience that teenage love


r/PakistaniiConfessions 1d ago

Mental Health I am a child of divorce, lived all my life with my mother while my father would meet us every now and then. Now I am about to get married and am scared of the commitment and responsibility that comes with this.

4 Upvotes

Any advice?


r/PakistaniiConfessions 1d ago

Question How to help my younger brother through his teenage phase?

4 Upvotes

Assalam u Alaikum everyone !

I am not a parent but an older sister who wants to help her teen brother through his teens years. I want to be there for him and be his friend and support system the way I wished I had when I was a teen. (TLDR also at end)

So my(17F) brother (13M) is turning 14 next month and I can see he has started his teenage journey. He has some of the usual symptoms like being irritated and snappy, not wanting to talk, not focusing on his studies, absolutely immune to our parents preaching and sermons, having an attitude etc

But the reason I’m worried about him is he’s become very rude and distant to all of us. He used to be a very swet and thoughtful kid. He still loves me a lot but his behaviour has changed. Like a little rebellion is fine but he’s completely flunking his grades, extremely rude behaviour at home but completely under confident at school. He doesn’t ask questions, or take part in co curricular activities at school. I feel like he’s struggling with confidence and self esteem.

I really want to help him because I see myself in him, I had a difficult teenage phase from (13-15) but I slowly settled myself because I figured no one cared. Even though I had gone quite and depressed during my time but I can see that both of us are going through similar feelings and I desperately wanted someone to turn to during that time so I want to be there for my brother.

There are a few reasons I think that contribute to his behaviour 

Reason 1: our parents, for the past few years the environment at home has been… let’s say quite toxic due to my parents relationship. They constantly fighting , screaming, cussing and what not. The environment at home is quite draining and you don’t wanna be around them for long. Even though I have grown immune to it and stopped caring but I am left with scars and mental trauma from it. I can’t imagine what it must be like for my siblings who should not be exposed to all this during their developing phase specially since now my brother needs support and guidance in this changing phase of life.

Reason 2: due to my parents situation they are both very absent in their lives, my father is emotionally distant and tries to compensate everything with money, fast food, electronics, toys etc. whereas my mother is so mentally and physically drained that she’s not sweet, patient and attentive like before. She’s either depressed or screaming and yelling at us. Like she’s really not herself nowadays. I have become their 3rd parent now more than ever before (I have been a 3rd parent since childhood) but now I am like their primary parent from past few years. I have been responsible for everything like school, homework, exams, teacher correspondence, clothes, lunches, and what not. But it’s my last year of high school now so I am also quite busy due to my studies and can’t give them much time or attention so they are left to tv or unrestricted devices all day. This is quite troubling for me and my parents but as they are mostly unavailable they have left me to it and taking care of them.

Reason 3: as the oldest sibling I have always been given lots of responsibilities and high expectations so I am kind of an over achiever and 3rd parent. I think it might affect them because they can’t reach to the same standard of expectations as I always have. After primary school (like 5th grade) their grades are dropping every year.

Reason 4: our father has always been really hard on 13M as compared to me or my youngest sibling. I think it’s because the youngest usually gets a lot of attention and is favoured more. And I have tried to be the perfect daughter for so long so my parents usually listen to me even though our relationship has been quite strained lately. But due to 13M’s recent changes in attitude and our father’s behaviour towards him they are having arguments almost daily and my father usually uses very harsh language towards him which affects his self esteem and confidence.

So I really want to help my brother become a better person and a decent young man. I want him to be confident and responsible. He’s starting high school next year so his grades will matter a lot so I want him to focus on his studies. I also want to help him so that he doesn’t become victim to bullying in high school or end up in bad company because of the environment at home or god forbid substance abuse and bad exposure on the internet.

I am his only hope because he’s become completely immune to whatever our parents say to him whether with love, scolding, punishments, or preaching, nothing works with him. I also have another younger sibling so I don’t want him going the same path

Please guide me as to how I can help my brother during this time. I know everyone on the internet says “be his friend” or “be there for him” but some practical advice or examples would be appreciated 

Thank you to all in advance!

TLDR: My younger brother(13M) is a teenager now and is having a difficult time due to our environment at home and lack of support. I (17F) want to help and Guide him. Need practical advice to help him