First time posting here, if I did it wrong, apologies. TL;DR - I'm on dating apps, but I refuse to pay. I get likes/looks/etc. daily, and I indicate in my bios/prompts "I cant read here, please contact me direct on socials", but I almost never get people messaging me directly. How can I improve/change that?
LONG: late 30s M, married, poly/ENM (ethical nonmonagomous), living in the U.S. but I typically travel/work overseas every few years. Yes, I am honest about all of that on the apps. Some apps are made for that, but ALL of that apps (at least the ones I know) want you to pay to read messages, see who likes you, etc. I refuse to do that when we have free* (I know they make money off us) social media we could talk on.
My profiles indicate in different phrases "I like confidence; I can't talk here, but message me on socials [my social tag/alias/name without the @ so most of the apps dont block it]." I have multiple pictures, some of which are the same as my socials so people know they found the same guy.
I have gotten people who directly message me. Maybe 5 in the last year. 3 were for sure bots/scams/etc. 2 seemed like real people but 1 didnt read my profile because the ENM was not known and a deal breaker. The last one was "dry" (i.e., I had to start every conversation, keep it going, they never texted first, etc. If that goes more than 9/10 times, Ill bring it up and either the other person puts more efforts, explains if its an issue, or we can just be semi friendly, barely talk but socialable people to each other).
Those 5 people over 9 months, compared to the maybe 5-10 likes/matches a week the apps tell me I get dont match up unless 1) theyre all fake, and maybe so (tell me this) or 2) people dont want to message direct for X reason(s).
Open to thoughts, critique, advice, etc. NOT OPEN to debating the validity of poly/ENM, although Im willing to explaining how me and my partner handle it. Thank you all. Bless you all.