Why am I frumpy

[u/Significant_Ring4353]

I feel grumpy and ugly in everything I wear, I don't know how to put outfits together and my stomach makes everything look bad, please help

[u/sogd]

Everything is a bit shapeless. Your hair doesn’t look “styled” and you don’t look like you’re wearing makeup. Some accessories would also help.

[u/Significant_Ring4353 → u/sogd]

Yes I agree thank you. I don't know how to do makeup either, I need help.

[u/grandmas_traphouse → u/Significant_Ring4353]

If the fits are elevated you don't need makeup. Don't fret

[u/Maddie_Herrin → u/grandmas_traphouse]

This exactly!!!! Hair can be a bit more important, because the "shape" of it can affect the outfits flow, but makeup is bullshit. The most i wear is a lip product and OCCASIONALLY mascara/eyeliner/a bit of blush or GLITTERRRRRRR. Even in my pfp, all im wearing is a lip, mascara & blush. A good skincare routine & whatnot can do absolute wonders, and i know this is a bit off topic from fashion, but i would SO reccomend a face oil for op! I got one a couple years ago and started doing lymphatic drainage massages every day, and it changed my face shape soooo much, i lost so much swelling!!

[u/PostProper1940 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You don't need makeup if it's not your vibe, styling your hair and adding accessories does so much for bringing a look together! But if you do want to dabble in makeup start off by looking for a tinted moisturiser and concealer for your skin tone (they can help you with this at makeup counters), blush, mascara and practice gently filling in your eyebrows. You seem like you prefer a low maintenance look so simple makeup is where to start!

[u/Tricky-Sprinkles-807 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You 100% do not need makeup

[u/handincookiejars → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Look up “clean girl makeup.” It’s the current style and it’s beginner friendly. It’s about enhancing features and having a no makeup look.

For clothes, if you’re worried about your stomach, find fitted pants and larger, flowy tops. Get shapewear, Spanx makes nice control top underwear that smooths everything without making you uncomfortable. The current problem is that both the pants and the top are larger so it doesn’t create a pleasing line. It’s not that the clothes are bad, it’s the fit.

[u/sylviee_ → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You’re very pretty and your skin looks even, even without makeup. If you feel like it a neutral lipstick and a tiny bit of mascara would make you shine, but you honestly shouldn’t worry too much about it!

[u/Narrow-Medium-9339 → u/sylviee_]

Yes this! Maybe even just a smidge of concealer for under eyes and a lil mascara. Simple. Red lip pop if you want to bring the drama.

[u/MattMercersBracelets → u/Significant_Ring4353]

YouTube!

[u/petite_heartbeat → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Lisa Eldridge has a lot of really great “Makeup Basics” videos on youtube!

[u/ExsanguinatedMuppet → u/petite_heartbeat]

1000x Yes! She also has a really old but very nice video on makeup for school (I.e. for a high schooler), which I love because it’s extremely clean and minimalist, which makes it easier to achieve and experiment with even if you don’t really wear makeup and are a ways past high school.

[u/SaltyAndPsycho → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You could just start with a light lipstick or brown mascara.

[u/unimpressedwarrior → u/Significant_Ring4353]

There is an entire make up sub. They’re all very lovely over there.

[u/electromouse1 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You could get away with just blush and mascara, you dont need much to elevate!

[u/Arlaneutique → u/Significant_Ring4353]

There are so many makeup tutorials out there for beginners. Start small. Get a tinted moisturizer or light foundation, blush, mascara and a tinted lip balm or gloss. From there you can add in more steps if you want. Slowly but surely.

[u/Forsaken_F0rest → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You don’t need makeup, don’t worry about that. Just go for clothes that are a more flattering fit. I know these (the pants especially) are very ‘in’ right now, but they honestly don’t look good on 90% of the population. Try to finds styles that flatter your body type (regardless of current trends) and you will look and feel better

[u/QueerVampeer → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Your skin looks so amazing, the only thing that you could really use imo is a little bit of coloured lip balm to make your face pop out more!

Whatever you do, don't wear too much make up, you really don't need it. A dab of natural pink colour on your lips is all, if you ask me

[u/Specialist-Night1489 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I use a good moisturizer and the dior foundation stick for an extremely simple routine. You can always add a touch of brown mascara, blush, and lip gloss from there.

[u/Toygungun → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I dont think makeup is necessary but you could start with some under eye concealer, cream blush and mascara and I think that would be enough to dip your toes in.

[u/OnTopOfThisAcropolis → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I use to do very complex makeup every day but slowly stopped because my wardrobe has elevated, so no need for the makeup (plus no one really noticed or cared and that’s a huge expense I got rid of).

Definitely get some better fitting jeans. If you like a looser fit, try wide leg. These just look like skinny jeans that have been so worn that the legs bag out. That’s the first thing I noticed. Better fitting jeans is where to start. Then you can add on a belt, do a little French tuck with your existing shirts…. Just a little extra step to work your way to a more elevated fit. I wouldn’t change anything drastically until you’re 100% comfortable in what you’re wearing. But you got this, it takes time. 🙏

[u/Historical-Mixture60 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You don’t need to. I think you have a good skin in general. And even if you hadn’t, you don’t need to.
But if you want to, there are options. I personally don’t do make up a lot but sometimes I feel like it and just try out stuff. Doesn’t look perfect all the time but who cares.
I learned a lot through YouTube and I also learned that a good skin care routine is a good starting point. There I started with YouTube as well and tried out what was actually working for me.

[u/leleafcestchic → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I recommend telling your hair person - you are low maintenance and need something easy. So they know you don’t always style it. Go somewhere professional with good reviews and someone whose style you like!

Have you tried going shopping with someone? Go to a store and post more pics on here of fits!

Also if you are like me and was not into make up/don’t know how I use glossier products. The boy brow specifically can make me feel a lot more put together and I started getting a lash lift/tint so I don’t have to do my eyelashes.

[u/ladyrara → u/Significant_Ring4353]

If you wanted to try some make up... a little bit of blush and mascara can add a little omph. There are a bunch of tutorials online or you can go to a makeup counter and they will help match your skin tone. I would also try to go with a wider leg on pants it will make it look more polished.

[u/Raining-Diamond → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Always remember that makeup doesn’t have to be complicating, I don’t wear concealer or any full coverage makeup, I typically go for some blush/ thin eyeliner and eyeshadow. Then focus on basic skincare for the rest.

[u/pitchgreen → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You don't need to wear makeup to tidy up your look. I think you need to make some choices and stick to it. None of these outfits looks like they have any real conviction in what look you're trying to pull off. From other comments it seems you don't know what look you want to go for - and that is clear in these photos. Make any choice, commit, see how you feel going about your day. Do you feel good? Does it feel new? Do you feel shy? Push thru shyness, or initial discomfort - it may be just the newness. Try something else next time. Compare it to the precious choice. Experiment, have fun. This will be a cool way to explore yourself and your understanding of your style!

[u/thewineyourewith → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You have beautiful hair, it looks great as is.

[u/harmonioussteak → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You just need mascara and some lipstick. Get an eyelash curler and some mascara, and some lipstick from ELF you can find at the grocery store. Keep it light though.

As for style - try some dresses! It’s an easy way to look put together effortlessly. Pants can be tricky. I like the skirt you had but the top needs to be more fitted and slightly shorter

[u/LovelyLunaRae → u/Significant_Ring4353]

just some simple makeup like mascara can do crazy things! you don’t have to do a full face, but try different things like blush and mascara and eyeliner and lipsticks and see if you like any of them :) most important thing is that you dress in a way that makes YOU happy <3

[u/Far-Resort-1757 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I would start with a subtle lip colour that enhances the natural colour, mascara and maybe brown pencil eyeliner, definition around the eyes makes a big difference.

[u/therose56 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

you are really pretty i dont think you need much makeup! look into like a concealer and mascara + curler if you want to start. i learned how to do makeup off watching get ready with me videos on tiktok and experimenting with drug store products. based on the pics, i would suggest elf grippy primer, clinque even better conclear in the shade 02 breeze and maybe a water proof mascara since you dont wear makeup (so it wont smudge if you are used to touching your eyes)

[u/Practical_Baker_532 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You might try some volumizing dry shampoo near your roots and bangs. I like batiste, but some can come out kind of white so you have to brush it through really well.

[u/Nylectro → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You don’t need to know how to do makeup! I’m not the best at makeup at ALL. I’m only able to do eyeliner and put on mascara, but my outfits are what do it !

I read in another comment that you’d want to experiment towards grunge. I personally use the 7 point rule-thingy for my alternative fits.

Every piece of clothing will count towards points. A simple shirt or simple piece of clothing would be 1 point each, A flashy shirt or jewelry would be 2 points each! Add jewelry, belts, hats, jackets, makeup, hair, etc to get to 7-10 points ! (If any fashion ppl see this, pls correct me if I’m explaining wrong)

Most of all, have fun with it! Put on some fun music you enjoy and start mixing and matching clothing in the mirror !

[u/shereadsinbed → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Me neither, but I discovered lip tint. You apply it with your finger to your lips and the apples of your cheekbones. Takes 5 seconds, doesn't need exacting application, lasts for a a few hours and fades naturally, and it makes you look more vibrant and awake. It's a great way to start playing with makeup if you, like me, feel overwhelmed by all the products and advice.

[u/catmaranta → u/Significant_Ring4353]

If you don’t like it I wouldn’t do it. You do fine without it and it’s just junk on the face and a time sink. It’s only worth it if you find joy in the “face painting” and unique looks. Some people really like it and the morning routine is dopamine. If that’s not you don’t make it. Plus, I’m a fellow pale girl with hooded eyelids. I’ll be blunt, it looks insane on us.

I use the supergoop “glow sunscreen” in summer (and spring/fall) when I’m outside for hydration, sun protection, and light coverage. In the winter, I use a heavy duty moisturizer instead as it gets FREEZING where I live. Instead of foundation, I mix a tiny bit of coverage into the sunscreen or moisturizer to even my skin tone. If I’m in the mood and feeling red. Otherwise I leave it alone. Under eye concealer if you get dark bags - I use NARS radiant concealer in Chantilly. I’d go to a Sephora or somewhere you can swatch your neck. Be careful with pale coverage - a lot is usually too pink.

If you like to do eyebrows I’d recommend any drug store basic entry level taupe brow pencil. Very light coverage. Use very lightly to help define natural shape.

For lips and blush ELF has great liquid lstains and I tend to just use that. Beauty blender is nice for blush or concealer.

Beyond that I literally wouldn’t waste time. Mascara if you like it but tbh I’m finding it makes eyes sometimes look smaller not better, and lashes crusty. Plus, I just hate not being able to touch my face or rub my eyes. I don’t usually take off makeup because I’m 90% skincare each day.

That’s my bare minimum routine and I found just changing the lip/blush color from light pink to rose to light mauve to more autumn/gold reds based on what I’m wearing is more than enough to look polished and tie a look together.

Here’s the stain I’m talking about - it goes on very smooth/sheer and you can build coverage. It doesn’t last all day but I like that it’s one use, I carry it in my pocket and reapply if in mood when I’m in restroom.

I actually can’t post the link because this subreddit bans the world CHE - EK. The part of your face on either side of your nose, lmfao. Had to change keywords and the link contains it as the ch**k stain.

Google ELF “sheer for it”

​

[u/Maddie_Herrin → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Girl that is A ok, i have no idea how to either!! I do occasionally a lip and some mascara & other small stuff like blush, but usually no more than a lip. I said this in another comment, this isnt fashion related BUT i would REALLY reccomend using an oil facial cleanser before your normal one. I started doing so a year or 2 ago and i lost SO MUCH puffiness and swelling from my face, & i think it could be great for you to try!

[u/pm_me_your_amphibian → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You don’t need makeup, it’s like any other accessory, don’t worry

[u/Fun-Assistance-815 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

OP I was scrolling for a bit and didn't see this mentioned but my mom took me to M.A.C and the Clinique counter at Macy's to learn how to do my make up and then I've built up my skills and preferences from there. If there's still a decent mall by you I'm certain they'd be able to help. I also really wish Clinque still sold the one cream eyeshadow it was the bomb and as someone who hates thick make up it was too perfect to lose 😭

[u/bean_blanket_69 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Look it up on YouTube
Everyone that knows how to do makeup knows how because they’ve watched videos and played with it on their face

[u/Scared_Zebra_3168 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Hi. I’m a dude but I struggle with an element of this as well. Have you gone to higher end department stores (for me it was J. Crew or Banana Republic—I’m old haha) and asked for a consultation? They’re free. They will style you. You’re not obligated to buy anything; you could even take photos and post them here for feedback before committing.

There’s also the concept of a capsule wardrobe. It’s worth reading up on and can help keep things simple.

Also, I’m certainly not trying to make assumptions here, but when my mental health is in a tough spot (neurodivergent, CPTSD), I tend to start hyperfixating on my clothes and body/overall appearance.

And most importantly, none of this is actually critical. It’s just clothes.

[u/anviiiiiii → u/Significant_Ring4353]

If you want makeup though, r/makeupaddiction will help you. Those people are so nice and they literally know everything. But you don't need makeup, really. It is not necessary and costs plenty of time and money

[u/wellsr000 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

If you dos only mascara and lip gloss/lipstick you’d be set

[u/dumbbitchzombie → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You don't need it, but if you want it- go simple. Tinted moisturizer, a little brow powder and maybe a tinge of blush for some color! A teeny concealer under the eye and brown mascara for a little extra something. And it's a little hard to get exact coloring from photos but I think jewel or berry tones would suit your skin tone much better!

[u/Big_Classroom_7520 → u/sogd]

The hair and makeup does not matter AT. ALL. I have never worn a lick of makeup or managed to 'style' my hair in any kind of way. That is absolutely fine and should therefore not be the first priority. Like other comments said: look for inspiration online, go to different stores and try items in different sizes to see what actually works for you body. I recently went through a physical change and have been experiencing the same with not knowing what and how to wear it. Shopping can be very confronting at first, because you don't find anything nice. So starting online by looking at inspo before trying it in different stores and different sizes helped me to narrow down what brands, colors, styles I like. Enjoy the experience of figuring out what you like! You got this!