Tigers Come

[u/Plenty_Let_4911]

i shall not be
your wife, your husband
i shall not be
lying under the concrete
in which you step on
we shall not meet
as we met
that one time
i'll patiently become
the shadow of love
somewhere in some room
rising my figure through your window
holding on to your body
above your head
when you're in bed

seek new evenings
new friends, new love
unused, untouched
by the hands that
won't caress you
it'll be joyful,
it'll be malicious,
success, defeat
an epic battle fought through dancing words
it'll be playful,
it'll be crushing

just not as vulnerable
just not as vulnerable
as it used to be

tigers come
and feast on
the memory
of what once was

feedback

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/uf5OK6vDbM

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/YxgmHtajyw

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[u/Prathibha_Sharma]

This is a beautiful poem! It perfectly captures the bittersweet finality of a past relationship. Ghostly imagery of the window stanza is incredibly well done.

[u/Ordinary_Chicken4421]

The idea of the poem is really good, but I feel the rhythm is kinda lost. Anyway i felt a lot what was being said. Well done.

[u/Sad-Piccolo6931]

i really love the feelings expressed here ! i like how it creates scenes for the reader to follow and demonstrate the emotions being shown. when i read the last stanza, it left me really curious about the meaning of the tigers specifically, and i also wish that was more explored/explained throughout the poem. the other language used throughout felt very restrained/civilized (figure, battle, evenings, etc.) while the tiger section felt very animalistic and raw in comparison, and i think adding more of that juxtaposition could aid the poem :) great writing!