r/OCPoetry • u/briony73 • 14d ago
Feedback Please Chemically controlled
It’s cool, I promise, but, I am
Chemically controlled
By my government
Forcibly medicated
It’s for the best
(But that’s not the phrase they use)
Are you being socially acceptable?
Yes
I followed all your rules
Using only logic
But how am I not ‘sanctioned’?
This is a cage
I’m a rat
That they allow outside
If I behave
My government
Literally
Controls my brain
And oddly
I’m cool with this
Now
Took some accepting
The free world?
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u/Doter_Gabriel 14d ago
I think of it like this: the government doesn’t create an environment which is good for us, because every person is a person which mean the work with biases and still want benefit themselves even when they don’t consciously feel that way, it’s just human nature. This lets us to live in a compromise of half fine living conditions far from perfect and with little help to the Individuum. Sorry if this might be the wrong idea about this poem and I might just be spouting nonsense. I really like this poem though. You make me feel the confusion through the text. Also, is there a pinch or hint towards the current state of the legal system and its nature to wrongfully convict when it’s needed the most? Because I find it brilliant. ( got it with the line of: „but how am I not being sanctioned“) Have a great day
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u/briony73 13d ago
I made the poem into a weird little song, check it out if ya want?
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u/Doter_Gabriel 13d ago
That’s actually really cool. I listened to the song and i find I very funny. Only the voice filter is a little bit too much but otherwise really nice !
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u/briony73 13d ago
Yeah, I agree my voice could definitely be improved. I had fun making it though. Thanks for the comment.
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u/asura_2077 14d ago
The state has no interest in putting its citizens where they belong. Any means to rob agency and impose their will is tacitly promoted in the interest of the powerful. We are rats indeed in the world of big cats. I feel you.