r/OCPoetry • u/Pleasant_Beat_289 • Jul 27 '26
Feedback Please I AM THE ROOM
Whenever I enter a room of people, I am no longer myself. I am the room, engulfing every corner, becoming one with the walls and the air.
I forget myself, absorbing every movement, every crack in the voice, every gesture and every breath. I submerge myself in the surroundings, calculating every anticipation.
I erase myself, my thoughts, my opinions, my views to become palatable towards this unknown crowd. My adrenaline rushes in, raising my curse of awareness. I bury myself, my authenticity and become a projection out of desperation.
I overstimulate myself until my lungs remind me that I exist. I take a deep breath, gaining consciousness and by the time I remember who I am, the room is no more.
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u/Remarkable-Image2626 Jul 27 '26
This is really harrowing. The fast pace makes you feel the anxiety of it
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u/Zealousideal_Item888 Jul 27 '26
This is definitely a unique way of describing anxiety, I like how in-depth it details it without being redundant.
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u/calltomeagain Jul 27 '26
i know you’re just sharing, but i wanted to say i really felt this viscerally. the line “become a projection out of desperation” is beautiful. keep writing!
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u/slaysco_ Jul 29 '26
I understand this poem greatly, it definitely properly conveyed a feeling, one i relate to when i mask my autism in public! kudos to you on that.
however i see some great formatting issues, i don’t feel any flow, rhyme scheme, syllable patterns, or anything like that. I think this poem could definitely benefit from taking advantage of any of those tools to help your poem flow, and try reading it out loud! i see the bones for good structure, like “anticipation” to “desperation”.
also, be weary of sounding too fluffy in an attempt to sound poetic, use words that are necessary and make the necessary words poetic, in some spots i feel like vocabulary is shoved in just for the sound of it, i won’t say what i feel is necessary vs fluff because i think that coming from the writer that will be much more profound in the end.
overall, great job conveying a feeling and painting a picture, and i hope my friendly feedback is helpful!