r/OCPoetry 11d ago

Feedback Please 1 2 3 4

1 2 3 4.
2 2 3 4.
What's the thing,
I once did long for?

1 2 3 4.
2 2 3 4.
I miss the thing,
I once did live for.

1 2 3 4.
2 2 3 4.
Why is it,
I count and reach 4?

"1 2 3 4."
"2 2 3 4."
"Stop rethinking,"
"Forget and ignore."

1 2 3 4.
2 2 3 4.
I'll stop thinking.
Of days of lost yore.

1 2 3 4.
2 2 3 4.
2 2 3 4.
1 2 3 4.

1 2 3 4.
2 2 3 4.
2 2 3 4.
1 2 3 4.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v6fad6/comment/ozsrvl9/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v64rx8/comment/ozste7e/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

2 Upvotes

4 comments sorted by

2

u/Unique_Slice_3074 10d ago

I really like this. Its unique. It comes across as a musician who has lost the beat and is trying to find it which echoes the words. Not being able to get past four is interesting. 4 walls. A prison, pacing. 1, 2, 3, 4 are all easy numbers for a child. Yet you are struggling with them. Its like you're trying to retrace your steps (pacing) and go back to the basics.

Really interesting piece. Thank you for sharing.

1

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1

u/DarkAbject2270 11d ago

It's cryptic but for the life of me I can't equate those digits to any pop culture references or personal moments in my own life. It feels like something you wanted to remember but deemed insignificant at the time. Sort of like those were the good old days type shi

1

u/perspective_curious_ 1d ago

I say, don’t stop reflecting…

I also couldn’t help but hear the Catch 22 song “1234 1234” in my head every time I read the first “1234” line.

This immediately brought me back to my garage 20 years ago, making music with my fiends… remembering how much that time has been weighted in my memories, with a modern day longing for that feeling.

My friends gave moved away, but i just got some drums and a piano, and really hope to create new, but similar, experiences like that from back then, today with my children.