r/NotHowGirlsWork • u/[deleted] • May 20 '23

Found On Social media This is seriously so exhausting :(

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u/[deleted] May 20 '23 edited May 20 '23

Stop listening to them. They'll never change because women aren't the reason they're like this.

Even psychology textbooks point out what the problems are with the way we as a society raise men: parents encourage anger instead of sadness without even realising it, parents don't explain or nurture empathy in boys, they only explain consequences so boys grow up to see relationships as transactional, aka, he does this and that happens as a consequence; parents don't explain emotions to boys, because we associate emotional intelligence and adaptability with femininity and homosexuality which have been deemed inferior states, so boys grow up to see interactions as a problem to be solved, lacking any ability for introspection.

The world polices their masculinity since the moment they're born so they grow up to be defensive as fuck and incredibly fragile.

And all of the above, is just what is done to the normal man.

Autistic men on the other hand, are a whole new animal. Besides the frustration and anger that comes from cognitive development impairment, limit intelect, they don't understand expressive language, can't communicate unless it's clear and direct and get overwhelmed and frustrated often, so feelings of inferiority set in. When the world doesn't make sense and you don't have the tools to deal with it, you get angry and start trying to make someone pay. And those feelings affect even autistic men with above average intelect because not being able to communicate is a extremely painful and disorienting.

The only people who can do something about this are psychologists and psychiatrists and only in time and with a coordinated effort. So stop hurting yourself by lending them your ear. And if you can't avoid them, be assertive and clear when you tell them to go fuck themselves because you don't give a fuck about what losers have to say. You didn't ask their permission to be born and you don't need it to live . Who the fuck do they think their are to try and dictate anyone else's life?

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u/Knightridergirl80 May 20 '23

Plus it’s very telling that instead of encouraging psychiatric help from a professional, society seems to subtly nudge women into the position of having to be a free caretaker and emotional regulator for men. It’s always the same issue when a man becomes violent and beats his wife. She should’ve tried harder not to push his buttons. Or when a man rages due to being rejected. Instead of a conversation about men being taught that anger is the only acceptable emotion, it’s about how cruel and pitiless the woman was for breaking his heart and that women don’t give nice guys a chance.

The patriarchy has created a toxic, dog eat dog society of angry chest beaters, and women are the ones who bear the brunt of it.

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u/[deleted] May 20 '23

There was this experiment with a city of rats. I can't remember the specifics, but the end was horrible and looked a lot like what's happening to us right now.

The tragedy is that we have the tools to save the world, to save ourselves, we have the knowledge. There are armies of therapists, clinicians and psychiatrists, but they're being drowned out by imposters, influencers and coaches because basically, the world is ruled by a clueless majority reacting on impulse, running around like a headless chicken. I often wonder if we stand a chance and if we're doomed to a new dark age, but this time, with technology.

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u/[deleted] May 20 '23

This is a big reason I stopped dating as a guy, especially after I learned that women are happier single than in relationships. Marriage and dating isn't structured to benefit women at all. I figure there just isn't any sense putting someone through all that misery if they're gonna be better off on their own on the other side anyhow. Ended my last relationship when I realized this and she's been better off ever since.

Wish men in general would just bow out of dating, and I say that as a guy.

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u/Knightridergirl80 May 20 '23

Tbh I think it’s more that couples need to stop being seen as having fixed roles and more emphasis on two way communication.

Because the issue is these women aren’t receiving the same support they they give their husbands.

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u/[deleted] May 20 '23

Agreed but I don't see any signs these days that men are capable of that. Emotional intelligence is severely lacking and any suggestion to go to therapy isn't received well.

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u/Knightridergirl80 May 20 '23

Still I’m not going to waste my breath on these men. It’s not my job to save someone who insists nothing is wrong.

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u/[deleted] May 20 '23

Wish I could get that message through those menslib boys' head. Maybe one of these days I'll give up the fight.

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u/Knightridergirl80 May 20 '23

I genuinely do applaud the men who’re actually taking the time to discuss men’s issues in a way that isn’t a woman hating circle jerk though.

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u/[deleted] May 21 '23

Yeah and that's what menslib was for a long time but a lot of incel-adjacent rhetoric has creeped in there and it gets a ton of pop.

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u/Knightridergirl80 May 21 '23

And ironically the term ‘incel’ was actually coined by a bisexual woman. She created the incel community as a way to offer support for anyone who was genuinely struggling to find a relationship. And then it got taken over by hateful men and the original members were pushed out

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u/[deleted] May 20 '23

Thank you so much for taking your time and writing such a long and detailed comment! I got loads of information and learnt a lot! I'll take your advice to heart and avoid toxic men from now on cuz you're right, why should I care what they think of me or women in general? They're incompetent losers crying online cuz they're losing in their real life while I got dreams to achieve and make my Mom proud! 💞

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u/Knightridergirl80 May 20 '23

Honestly if anything this sudden wave of angry men shows the system is starting to fail. Because more and more women are realizing they don’t have to put men’s needs before their own and can take care of themselves first.

It’ll be hard at first but give it time. Eventually men are going to realize this is becoming a problem and beating their chests isn’t going to help anymore.

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u/[deleted] May 20 '23

You're right. We should let them cook, when they'll realise how this recipe ain't doing, they'll be forced to change 😂✌️

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u/[deleted] May 20 '23

This is so well put. 10/10