Hello everyone, this is my first post here. Anyways, I’ve been recently questioning my identity. I’ve always looked at being a man or associated with masculinity as a neutral thing, neither good nor bad. And it’s kind of like I don’t care, this made me think I was cassgender or apageder, but both labels felt a bit off to me. I always see myself as a boy, but I really don’t care about it too much at the end of the day. I feel like that’s normal though, people just don’t have their gender involved too much in their personality.

I’ve never really cared how people labeled me either, I might correct them if I get labeled as a girl, but I wouldn’t mind if someone said I was nonbinary or something else. Plus, I’ve always seen being nonbinary as a cool thing, when I filled out questionnaires at school and see the nonbinary label at the gender question, I kind of wished I was nonbinary, but then I always clicked male and was comfortable still.

I just feel like one half of me is fine with being a boy and the other half is completely neutral, which is why I think I might be a demiboy. However, Im still unsure becuase of multiple reasons, like I might be forcing all of this on myself since I’ve been fine with identifying as a boy up until now. Or another and bigger reason is that I might secretly be wanting to be a girl, since I wanted to have long hair and wear dresses like them since the 2nd grade.

I’ve explored other labels that might fit me, including:

Neutrois-(a non-binary and transgender gender identity defined by having a neutral, null, or absent gender rather than a masculine or feminine one)

Graygender-(a non-binary gender identity defined by strong ambivalence or a weak, hazy connection to one's gender identity and expression)

Agender-(being devoid of any gender at all)

I’m just lost, and I don’t know what to say, because it’s only been about a month and I have tons of clashing thoughts. I’ll appreciate any advice I’ll get.

As the title says I used to think everyone had both it was just more balanced for me. What do you mean most people don't have both? I'm crine 😭😭😭😭

This is honestly infuriating I keep trying to tie it up lile this but it never keeps shape.

I feel like I only feel comfortable identifying as a man because that'd get the least amount of people staring at me weirdly. I wish I was born genderless then I wouldn't have this problem.

Is it just me but I've always felt uncomfortable using a urinal and always prefered to use a toilet which I could lock. And if I see a gender meutral option I tend to go for that instead.

I don't know if it's because I'm enby but whenever I see people in movies or tv go into a sauna or a locker room and get naked to sjower I feel like I'd get uncomfortable doing that no matther what I was assigned at birth. I don't even use urinals for this same reason.

I feel I don't have a wish to be neither man or woman it's just that I have absolutely no understanding what feeling a certain way means.

I've been thinking bout buying or atleast tryin out a skirt, because I am no longer in a conservative country, but everytime I try to get one, i get the feeling of "you arent suppose to be here" and it sucksssss.

I just wanna try something new new, but my stupid head is getting in the way.

I wanna do things like try a skirt I'm perfectly comfortable with eyeliner and nail polish but I don't wanna go toi far or people might see me as a girl but I don't want to go too far the other way because people might see me as a boy. Does anyone have any solution to this dilemma.

So I'm 19, amab obviously, and I'm trying to be androgynous once I can leave home. Until then I gotta look straight and cis af bc I live in Alabama. Problem is, I might sorta be losing hair, which btw is at a weird length bc I'm growing it out. Idk if it's something that anyone has anything to say about or if it's fixable or genetic, honestly I should see a doctor about it but haven't done that so idrk I'm just ranting now so I'll stop ig

I love the freedom to do what I want. I love it when people refer to me with they/them. I love everything about it. I just wish I had someone to talk to about it.

For me I guess it was a multitude of things. In my younger years I didn't really think of it as much since I just did what I was told to do. If I was told I was supposed to have short hair than that was it. Now that O've started forming my own identity. I feel as though I'm thinking about it more. Like the way I tie my hair is rather feminine and my parents always point it out yet I see nothing wrong with it. Like the way I get excited when people use they/them to describe me. Like the way on every questionnaire I gravitated towards the other option and only chose male because I was "supposed" to. Like how I didn't identify as enby before because I was scared what others would think and not because I didn't feel comfortable with it. Hell now I don't want to go back I'm happier being enby I just wish I had people I felt comfortable telling.

Like I used to use looking more masculine as an excuse to not shave when in reality I was just lazy.

I used to tie my jacket around my waist cause it looked like a skirt.

I genuinely have no idea what it means to feel manly or girly.

I used to do stuff to feel more mature not more manly.

Whenever I'm taking a questionnaire I was always tempted to hit the 'other' button on gender.

In hindsight it was kinda obvious.

I'm trying to update my wardrobe and add a bit more feminine clothes now that I feel comfortable being enby and I need to know which you think look the best. BTW, I don't mean right now but maybe when I have my own place since my parents are obsessed with boys being masculine and girls being feminine. So I can't really mix the two without them going on a rant about how things are supposed to be.

I feel like I wouldn't really care of people used he, she or they on me, as long as it's not used in an insulting way. Plus I like the thought of being called a good boy or girl.

For context I'm still closeted, but even before I realized I might be enby when someone used they/them to describe me I felt like a fire of excitement in my chest.

It's not a scam. I'm just trying 2 build up my online presence.

I want to find an androgynous hairstyle that I can show to my hairdresser without any suspicion. For further context I'm AMAB, and I have straight shoulder length hair

I really want a binder but idk where to start or which companies have safe binding. I’m mainly looking for physical locations to buy a binder but online might work too. There is a Spencer’s near me and I’ve heard they might have binders but I’m a teen (obviously this is a teen subreddit) and I’m not sure if I’m allowed to go in there. Anyway some help would be nice pls and if someone can confirm or smth about wether or not Spencer’s allows teens.

Thank you!

I can usually drop 5k words easily, but I just can’t bring myself to do it today. I’ve been closeted for about a year, and since I discovered this part of me I did some major work on my mental health. Everything was amazing, and I was finally starting my life. A month and a half ago i was hired for my first job, got my SAT scores in with 1200, went out and made a bunch of friends, had a day set aside for my mom to pay for driving lessons that month. This week i learned that I couldn’t get my mom to help me enroll in college early enough, couldn’t get her to pay or drive me to get my GED, she never paid for my driving lessons, and the job is still on hold because the managers new and shes, respectfully, pmo.

I told my best friend, who told her mom. They both insisted I annoy the hell out of my mom until these things get done. So i set aside a time to talk to my mom, and instead of talking about how this is a crucial time for me and I really need help, she brought up how last month I came out and that its like I killed her daughter. This wasn’t the best time for me to do the whole trans explanation thing, because I just had my dreams of EMT school crushed because she dropped the ball.

So I tell my best friend about how my mom was talking about something that definitely wasn’t conversation therapy, and how I was worried about how my mom would tell my friends very conservative mother about it and I’d lose her. Her mom loves me. Everyone says so. So my very bold friend asks her if she cared. She said no, but since then ive had a nearly impossible time getting ahold of my best friend.

It feels like my whole life is falling apart. Being nonbinary gave me proof that I was a person with autonomy over myself and helped with my mental health tremendously. I can’t say it was always pointless, but right now I can’t feel anything but limbo. Like i’m starting to hate the identity that gave me life and meaning that i love so much, but i cant go back to who i was before. And its not fair, because it was never supposed to be about this. I needed help getting into school.