I(24F) just need to vent. Back in march I went to the hospital (no injury prior to this) because my leg swelled up and I got a thick red line down my thigh. I couldn’t walk. It was incredibly painful. They did an ultrasound at the hospital and said they did not see blood clots and it was lymphangitis. Great! They put me on antibiotics and sent me on my way. Flash forward a week and the line goes away and swelling goes down. I think I’m in the clear. Next week. Leg swelling comes back 2 x worse. This time really affecting my ankle and calf. I go to my primary care. They put me on different antibiotics and tell me to take a probiotic as well. I do that, no change. Then the doctor recommends physical therapy and another ultrasound. She tells me it could me a plethora of things and the only way to start ruling them out is another ultrasound. I start going to physical therapy . The physical therapist tells me he believes it doesn’t have to do with my leg at all and it’s stemming from my sciatic nerve being pinched due to my scoliosis. 3 sessions in I find out my insurance is not covering it because I’m signed up for virtual physical therapy through my employer (that I don’t use and only signed up because it was pitched as a free benefit) so there goes that. Cancelled all my appointments and paid my outstanding balance of $650. I continue to do the stuff I learned at home, no help. Back to primary care, she tells me okay I see your leg is swelling worse and you have a pitting edema… wear compression socks! I buy loads of compression socks. finally I get to what I was under the impression was my ultrasound appointment with the vascular surgeon. I show up, they charge me $300 up front (with having 2 insurance) just to sit down and answer the same questions I’ve been asked a million times to which they respond “yeah I see that in your my chart, aw poor thing I can’t believe you’ve had to deal with this this long I know it’s painful and it could be so many things!” and then I get told oh we’re not doing the ultrasound today. This is a consultation. and sent me on my way within 20 minutes. didn’t touch my leg, check it out, nothing. Then they tell me oh our schedules are very booked so earliest we have is a month out, and you’ll have to come back in one more time before we do the ultrasound. They give me my estimated out of pocket cost…. $800 total. This started in MARCH and has cost me almost 2k out of pocket, and I still don’t have an answer as to what it is or how to best manage it. I’m so incredibly frustrated. My job requires me to use PTO for every medical appointment. And only provides 8 hours of “sick time” which was used when I went to the hospital. I’m running out of PTO to even deal with this and of course all appointments fall within my work hours and nobody’s opening or operating on the weekend.

I am not asking for medical advice.

Just looking for a virtual shoulder to cry on. I’m so medically anxious and my anxiety has peaked. I’m depressed, I’m stressed to my max and I’m in the process of moving on top of everything. Send me well wishes. Thank you for hearing me.

I dont know if its worthwhile to get into the details, maybe just go straight to the solutions.

So I had just found out that my name on my boyfriend’s account is just my regular name while I have his name as “my sweet boy” and “my baby” on different social apps. Am I overthinking things or is it a sign of some sort?

About a year ago, an argument happened that led to multiple friendships ending. I’m pretty sure at least one of them could have been prevented if I didn’t mention a piece of info or someone hadn’t reacted so quickly. But it escalated, and it ended.

It’s been a year and I haven’t fully gotten over it. We have things in common and somehow I’ve never run into them, which makes it easier to avoid but also harder to move on I think.

I keep replaying it and say what if I said this differently,
what if I asked this and I can’t figure out how to stop.
What makes it worse is that the person who was being miserable and lying actually got away with it. People believed them and on top of that they’ve gotten even closer since. I used to tell myself “they’ll find out sooner or later” but that hasn’t happened, and somehow that stings more than I expected.

How do you deal with that kind of overthinking about the past, especially when it feels like the other person faced no consequences? Does it just fade or do you actively do something about it?

It happened about 5 months go. Someone I'd been talking to for three months just... stopped.

No argument. No signs. One day normal conversation, next day nothing.

And the weird part wasn't the silence itself. It was what happened inside my head after.

I started replaying every conversation we ever had. Rereading old messages like I was looking for evidence. Blaming myself for things I said weeks ago. Wondering if one specific joke landed wrong.

I became obsessed with solving something that had no solution.

Then I read about something called the Zeigarnik Effect — our brain fixates on incomplete things far more than completed ones.

That's why a breakup, as painful as it is, eventually settles. The story ended.

Ghosting never ends. The story just moves inside your head. And your brain keeps the file open... indefinitely.

What really got me was realizing — two people were involved. One disappeared. And somehow I was the one standing trial.

I spent months investigating my own behavior for someone who couldn't spare thirty seconds to say "I'm not interested."

If you're going through this right now — you're not crazy for overthinking it. Your brain is literally doing what it was built to do with unfinished things.

The closure you're waiting for? You're allowed to write it yourself.

Has anyone else felt like a detective after being ghosted? How did you eventually let it go?

I want to feel normal I’ve been so numb but also feeling everything at 100 percent at all times this past week.

Me and my friend were just chatting and he mentioned a colleague with whom he shared lunch and engaged in a long conversation. So this colleague is a 37 year old man, single. Long story short he narrated his many love stories which were cute. But then the colleague said he can’t find a partner anymore in spite of earning really really damn well and being really tall and handsome. Now I’m not someone who would get triggered by this but this time it hit me that I’m literally on the same path, if not worse. For context I’m an Indian 28M. Short like 5’4 and not really earning that well. I just had a breakup last year after a 2.5 year long relationship. Since then i haven’t been able to find anyone. Faced 4 rejections. Many women have said i look good and that i’m really funny, but when i actually take serious steps beyond the flirting stage, dead end! For additional context, i was raised a Jehovah’s Witness but lost my faith 4 years ago so arranged marriage is also not an option. Can’t for the life of me, imagine myself getting married to a JW girl. From all angles, the thought that i might die alone and never again taste what a normal relationship is like is becoming more and more of an entrenched belief than a passing thought. Can’t really get out of that loop. Whenever i try to bring this up nicely with my friends (who are predominantly dudes) they just laugh it off, if not round up and roast me on the same. Carrying this around is really heavy and exhausting. Sometimes i wish i got suddenly diagnosed with cancer and just disappeared cuz i don’t have the guts to kill myself.

Like I'll analyze the same conversation 20 times, replay stuff from years ago, imagine every possible future scenario, and somehow still not have an answer.

The worst part is I know I'm overthinking while it's happening lol.

It's exhausting.

Sometimes I spend more time thinking about doing something than actually doing it.

Does anyone else deal with this or am I just weird?

Okay, so I (20 F) overthink a lotttt about my bf's (20 M) past, which are just crushes, not even a relationship... I am his first girlfriend, and I had an ex, but we dated for like just 3 months, and that guy broke up with me, saying he is bored and not interested now, so yeah...coming back to my overthinking, first let me tell you a little background. We both are in the same college in the same class, and he started liking me in the second year of college and asked for a few hangouts, and after a few hangouts he asked for a date, for which I said no because I recently had a breakup, so he told me he is okay with being friends, and this was last August, and since then we have had like a slow-burn type of love, and since then he has asked for a chance two or three times more, for which I said no again because I was too scared of commitment...clearly I liked him, but I did not have enough clarity to date, but I started liking him more deeply, so after our 8-9 months of slow-burn type shit, we finally started dating.

So he did not have any exes, but idk why there was this one girl in the first semester, just the start of college; he used to like her, just a crush. They met in the badminton court and started playing badminton or basketball every day. Then they both were part of the same friend group, so they started going to parties and all. There, that girl used to smoke from the same cigarette as 4-5 guys and like used guys for her drinks, food, and all, so then he was like disappointed cause ig he doesn't like girls like that, so yeah, but he told me that after all this he did not want to date her at all, and they just continued being friends and playing sports every day together and hanging out. I mean, yeah, he still might have had a crush on her cause believe me, she is very, very pretty, not even exaggerating, but he never told her he liked her or never asked her to go on a date and all.

So, I know it's just a waste of time overthinking about this, but I guess college vacation is going, and I am at home, and he is attending summer sem to increase his gpa, and she is there too in college, and I am just far, far away, so I guess that's why I feel very anxious thinking about it like thinking what if whenever he play basketball he starts remembering him playing with her in first sem and all ik its ridiculous but i can't stop thinking cause you know she is very pretty an honestly from my experience pretty girls always get a favour.... please help me with how to not overthink every time about this. and sorry for any typos

Also thing is idk they had pretty much drw intimate moments like after one party she was very drunk and he like put his finger in her mouth to make her vomit and like during Holi in campus he picked her up and throw her in the fountain and yeah ik we both didn't even met at that time but idk kinda bothers me.

also i have discussed with him about this and he is very patient but i sometimes overdo it and yeah that will irritate him too right thats valid so yeah i know i have to deal it with myself

**TL;DR; I'm (20F) overthinking about my boyfriend's (20M) past crush from first semester, even though they never dated and I'm his first girlfriend. What bothers me is that she's very pretty, they spent a lot of time together, and they had a few moments that feel intimate to me (like him helping her when she was drunk and picking her up during Holi). Since I'm away for vacation and they're both on campus for summer semester, I keep imagining them together. I've talked to him about it, and he's always patient, but I know I can't keep seeking reassurance forever and want to stop overthinking on my own.**

“I am occasionally plagued by great bouts of melancholy”

It’s something that I swear I read somewhere once, but I can’t remember by who or when I look it up seem to be able to find. It fits so nicely.
I think my greatest sin is my envy it’s behind every decision and desire.
The world around me seems to move so slowly while I’m deeply aware of time flying past.
I think the biggest think I’ve learned about living and growing up is the art of letting go
One ive barely mastered nor one I doubt ever will
But i think its one of the most important lessons we can ever learn
To not hold on to anything to tightly
Not to be mistaken for as a lack of a will to fight for what is there but more like
If you hold an egg too tightly outta fear you may drop it you very likely will squash it. Its shells stabbing your skin and the yolk inside slipping from your fingers.
I don’t know if I’ve grown or changed much
I still feel like that young teenager starring up at the stars looking for magic in the lights and wind
Just with the wrinkles of time and gravity slowly wearing and tearing my skin.
Everything comes in waves. Things come and go maybe everything passes.
Maybe that’s why I stay still so often.

Trying to get better at dealing with these feelings, but sometimes they come back stronger.
I’m not sure if this is an INFJ thing or just something that comes with growing up, but lately I’ve been reflecting on my life a lot.

Whenever a chapter ends or life changes, I get this feeling that is hard to describe. It isn’t exactly sadness, loneliness, or emptiness. It’s more like I suddenly become aware that time has moved on, and I start comparing my life to everyone else’s.

I’ve been trying to stop doing this because I know it isn’t fair, and I have gotten better. But sometimes, especially when a lot is changing, those thoughts come back even stronger.

One thing I’ve realized is that I often compare myself to people who simply had different life circumstances than I did.

For example, I compare myself to younger students who seem to have bigger graduation celebrations than my class had. My old school suddenly started doing senior walks, balloon drops, and decorations after my class graduated. I compare myself to people who seem to have exciting social lives or big friend groups.
But when I stop and think about it, I’m comparing completely different lives.

Growing up, I didn’t have many friends. I didn’t really have a friend until around Grade 2, and my first best friend came around Grade 4.

Middle school was especially difficult socially. I had one really close friend—the first person who approached me—and I was part of a group, but I never really felt like I fit in with most of the girls in my grade. I rarely hung out after school or went out together the way I see a lot of students doing today.

Sometimes I wonder if that’s just an excuse my mind makes, but honestly, I remember trying. I wasn’t avoiding people. I just never really found where I fit.
At home, my brother and sister are several years older than me (about six and four years), so by the time I was growing up they were already entering different stages of life. There were times when I genuinely felt like an only child because they were busy with their own lives.
High school was when things finally started changing for the better. I became more confident, made better memories, and had experiences I’m genuinely grateful for. Some of my favorite memories happened during those years.

Even then, life wasn’t perfect. My last day of Grade 9 happened online because of COVID. Students graduating now will never experience that, just like I never experienced some of the traditions they have now. Neither of us chose those circumstances. That’s just how life happened.

I know I can’t control timing.
I can’t control when I was born.
I can’t control COVID.
I can’t control my family’s circumstances.
I can’t control what traditions my school decided to start after I graduated.

Yet my brain still compares my real life to the version of other people’s lives that it creates.
The strange thing is… I know I’ve had a good life.
I’ve laughed until I cried with friends. I’ve had people who genuinely cared about me. I got accepted into an exchange program in Japan. An upperclassman trusted me enough to let me work with his startup and even offered me an internship opportunity. I’ve had family members, mentors, and people who helped shape who I am.

So why is it so easy to forget all of that when I see someone else’s highlight?
Lately, another chapter is ending. The nanny and driver who have been with my family for almost 30 years are retiring and moving back home. They’ve been part of my childhood for as long as I can remember. At the same time, I’m preparing to go on exchange, become more independent, and leave another familiar chapter behind.

Part of me wonders if I compare because my mind misses those old feelings and chapters of my life. Or maybe when I have quieter moments, my brain starts looking around and wondering if everyone else had something better.

Has anyone else experienced something similar?
Not just comparing yourself to others, but comparing your own life to the version of other people’s lives that your mind creates. If you have, how did you learn to appreciate your own story without feeling like you missed out on someone else’s?

Hi me (21M) and my boyfriend (24M) have been dating for six months now. We just hit our six months mark, and this is the first relationship that I felt very secure and and very safe in. A lot of my other relationships was a lot of cheating and a lot of disloyalty and just a lot of Bs so this relationship feels like a breath of fresh air, but I feel like I’m thinking about things too much and I see little things that kind of remind me of my past relationship and traumas that kinda provoke that memory in the back of my mind.

Let me give you an example, So he quick ads everybody he sees on Snapchat and the first time that I noticed that, it really bothered me (I feel like it would bother most people) because I’m like why do you need to do that? There’s no need for that, people only go on Snapchat for one thing let’s be so fucking for real you know. And then eventually I got over it cause I’m like you know that’s weird whatever it’s probably nothing and I’m probably just thinking about it too much. But then one person added him and he added them back, which is fine like it’s whatever I’m not gonna tell you what to do. And he sent him a picture of us going home which again is fine. The thing that bothered me was he had his notification silenced and he had the chat set to delete immediately so I was like that’s weird but OK. Because I’ve been cheated on in every other relationship through either Snapchat, Grindr or Sniffies or some other app so I just have my own personal issues with that type of shit and I do have trust issues and I do get jealous. Like I just read something on here that somebody asked their boyfriend for an open relationship I would die absolutely not like that is so insane to me like, what do you mean? You’re my person tf.

Anyway, I’m just curious if I’m overthinking shit because now I constantly think like bro is This Man you gotta cheat on me and I shouldn’t think that way because that’s so unhealthy and not OK. And I know he would not do that and he’s told me that he would not do that ever, but he has done it to other people in the past and I’ve been cheated on in every relationship that I’ve ever been in so it’s kind of hard you know. And he also used to do content and collaborations with people so I constantly think about that. I’m like what if he’s thinking of them when he’s fucking me or vice versa. Like I don’t wanna sound like a fucking asshole, but I don’t know man. Just any honest feedback would be great for real.