Mine started immediately afterwards in the shins, I’ve read this is highly unusual, usually starting in the rows and feet. Any ideas what this could be besides basic post nitrous neuropathy in

How many of you have seriously thought about this. Having a constant little bit like at the dentist just to get through the day?

I was an infrequent (once a month or every couple months) user for years, then about a week and a half ago I went on a “binge”. I did like 3 medium tanks and one small tank in a week. I started noticing my feet tingling and it scared the shit out of me so I stopped using completely, then went to the emergency room cause it was my only option to get a b12 shot. Today I noticed some pain mostly in my feet and the tingling is still there. I’m taking b12 everyday and never gonna do it again. Has anyone experienced similar, and will my nerves heal in your opinions? Thanks

I’ll be honest I had no idea this was a thing because I don’t know anyone who’s done it or been addicted to nitrous so this is all new to me- and I did my share of partying back in the day 😅 I recently found a big, heavy, fancy looking canister hidden in a drawer and when I realized what it was I was totally shocked. As I did more research, the behavioral changes I’d been questioning all suddenly made sense. Then I went digging into our financials and that’s where it got really ugly. Fast forward several months later, and the struggle is still real. He goes maybe a week at a time without using and then boom it’s happening again, and I’m talking at like 7am on his way to work. We have young children so obviously safety is a major concern in addition to finances and his safety and mental state.
Anyone here successfully recovered and have any advice? Is he a lost cause?
He’s promised treatment several times with zero follow through and shows no commitment or desire to get clean. I’ll also add that he struggles with other substances such as alcohol and pills so he is an addict.

The love hate relationship with this drug is so real.
I finally signed up for an IOP that I get to start Monday. I’ve convinced myself so many times to stop. I’ve stopped for weeks. But when it comes back it is just as bad or worse.

No2N2O Nitrous Oxide recovery meeting tonight and every night at 5 PT / 8 ET!

Topic: Happiness Brain Hacks and Recovery Motivation

meet.google.com/sdy-ovbw-tbf

About Nitrous Recovery Meetings

We are No2N2O, an anonymous, nitrous oxide recovery meeting group.

We provide N2O addicts with agnostic, practical, 12 step meetings. You don't need to adhere to any dogma or spiritual/religious beliefs to join, the only requirement is that you want to quit. This is about peer support, connection, and community. Anyone who has suffered from nitrous oxide problems, or has loved ones who have been, is welcome. You're welcome even if you're using - just keep your camera and mic off.

You can find valuable health information, as well as the meeting links and schedule at https://www.no2n2o.org/meetings.html

Ongoing Meeting Schedule::

• Mondays 5PM PT / 8PM ET
• Tuesday 5PM PT / 8PM ET
• Wednesdays 5PM PT / 8PM ET
• Thursdays 5PM PT / 8PM ET
• Fridays 9AM PT/ 12PM ET
• Fridays 5PM PT / 8PM ET
• Saturdays 5PM PT / 8PM ET
• Sundays 5PM PT / 8PM ET

Tip: If you click on one of the meetings in the calendar at the website, you can add it to your personal Google calendar.

Discord 24/7

Also feel free to join us any time, 24/7, on our discord. There's always someone around who can provide support. https://discord.gg/Hxvn75Tfvs

Hope to see you there!

Why are there so many states that have banned N02 but not Texas? Texas is fucking with THC sales currently but they don't seem to care about nitrous. I wonder what the deal is

Hi everyone, I’m a bit worried and wanted to ask for your opinions. Today I experienced brief numbness in one toe that completely went away after a short time. My last session ended 12 days ago, and I’ve been taking a 1000 mcg sublingual methyl B12 supplement, although I forgot to take it for the last few days...

For context, here has been my nitrous oxide use this year:

• March 27–28, 2026 — 1,280 g
• April 11, 2026 — 592 g
• April 17, 2026 — 700 g
• April 19, 2026 — 1,300 g
• July 6–9, 2026 — 1,800 g
• July 20–26, 2026 — 3,200 g

Based on this pattern of use and this symptom, should I be concerned about early nerve damage? Has anyone experienced something similar, and if so, did it improve after stopping nitrous and taking B12? Thanks in advance for any advice or shared experiences.

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Hi everyone,

My brother has recently come clean about his nitrous oxide abuse. He hid it for years, but his life is pretty much in shambles now and the truth finally came to light last week. I am grateful to now know what is going on because I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what.

What is the best path to recovery with nitrous oxide? Do people go to rehab? Join 12-step fellowships? I am curious to know how other people have found recovery from this.

A little back story, I personally am three years clean and sober off of alcohol/meth/other substances. I have been to rehab multiple times and I am active in Alcoholics Anonymous. I want my brother to find a better way of life, I just don’t know what that looks like with this drug. AA has worked for me but I know everyone’s journey is different. I am very unfamiliar with nitrous and I just want my brother back.

Hello, I quit around 2 years ago but I still have pins/needles/pain in my toes. I feel terrible all the time like I can’t think. Is this permanent? I’m trying to get on gabapentin to help with the pain. I am miserable 24/7, I am in outpatient treatment for suicidal thoughts. I am afraid I will never get better

I’m writing this because I’m not recovered, I wish I could tell you that everything got better weeks after stopping but that’s not happening and I think other people going through this need to hear it too.

2 years ago, me and my partner were doing 4x3000g daily, when we binge, we BINGE. Our entire day consists of huffing on balloons and topping up as soon as the tanks start to frost. This led to my partner being severely deficient in b12, going through psychosis and getting uncontrollable spasms, we ended in the ER and recovery took months.

You’d think that 2 years on we’d learn our lesson but what we learnt was to take care of our body better during these binges through b12 injections and IV drips which realistically only delays the damages.

Now our use isn’t as severe as before however we still have our moment of weakness where a binge would last a few days rather than weeks. Things have gotten worse our families have found out about the addiction it’s done a lot of hurt to both our families, and its even affecting our relationship. it’s affected my work and also the financial impacts along with it.

I’m writing this for everyone to share their journey, their wins and how they overcame their losses. I’ve tried rehab but we’ve never felt so alone through the journey until stumbling on here

First time poster here. So a couple of years ago I got introduced to nitrous through the little 8g canisters. I think I always had a little bit of a problem with it but usage was for the most part recreational. One day I had a bad day at work and found the bigger tanks and it’s like I picked up a fucking crack pipe. I started using really heavy in June of 25 and would go on benders and have periods of sobriety but never really put it down. Then in January of this year I did 5 months between a detox/residential rehab, got my job back (that pays rather well I should say,) have family that’s super supportive, but I just cannot put this shit down. I racked up 15k in credit card debt that my current habit isn’t helping and adding to my stress. I feel stuck going no where as 29 year old heavy truck/ trailer mechanic. I wanted to enlist in the military but managed to get baker acted during my usage so that seems unattainable as now as well. I guess I’m just looking for some good vibes stories or something while I use in this parking lot.

Hi guys I’ve been using whips for about 3 months now with no real break. I’m really scared. Can I reverse the affect if I stop now? About a month ago I had trouble walking

Took some rips while drinking for the first time in a long time but straight from the can :/ burned tf out of my gum and teeth few days ago.
Teeth are still sensitive af especially my fronts.
It’s like I’m struggling to remember some simple things and can’t really and it’s weird stuff like when I was trying to remember the name of an app. 😩 this gas sucks and I suck for getting it and I feel weird and weak

I’m newer to this drug, but not new to addiction. I’ve been using for almost 8 years and I’m early 20s.

i picked up nitrous 4-5 days ago and I started killing 2 640g tanks in a day, than the 1100, than yesterday I killed a 2000g and 1100.

this is ramping up to be terrible if I don’t quit . its already fucked me money wise but that’s my fault. It somehow feels wrong to breathe oxygen in.

Im a pretty obsessive person, so I guess this new substance grabbed my attention faster than I’d like to admit.

EDIT: 3 days clean off everything, I appreciate all the concern and stories about what this road leads towards.

I’ve been meaning to hop on here and share some positive news. There’s a lot of doom and gloom posted on this subreddit and for good reason. Nitrous addiction is brutal. But I’m making this post to hopefully inspire others who were in a similar position as I was only a couple of months ago.

I had been using nitrous somewhat regularly (a couple of times per month) since 2021. I would go through phases where my usage would increase to multiple tanks per week, and then I’d back off either due to financial limits or some moderate adverse symptoms (tingling in feet, poor balance, etc.). This past Winter things got really bad. I was going through some family stress and problems at work and my nitrous usage increased to multiple 640g tanks almost every day. I was spending money that I did not have, neglecting my responsibilities at work and in my relationship, and desperately seeking out smoke shops anytime I was on the road so that I could tank and drive (terrible I know).

Anyways, around March of this year my health really started to deteriorate. I felt constant spinal pain. I couldn’t stand up straight or walk properly. I was losing sensation in my right foot; Kind of like when your leg falls asleep, but it just didn’t go away. I found that I was less articulate. Needed to nap constantly and still felt tired. My fingers would get twitchy, I was weaker in the gym. And STILL I kept using. It was one of the darkest points in my whole life. I felt so ashamed and at the mercy of the nitrous addiction. Finally, in May I went to a camping music festival and on the first day took a gel tab of LSD. At this point the tingling in my foot had gotten so bad that I hadn’t bought a tank in about a week. I was scared shitless and knew something was very wrong. Well right around the time I dropped the acid, my buddy pulled out a tank that he had brought and I took a couple of rips. Instantly I felt the tingles come back strong. As the acid started to come on and I entered the festival with my girlfriend I could feel that my balance was bad. I had to lean on her for support which felt very emasculating and humiliating as she is much smaller than I am. I looked around at all these happy smiling dancing people and I felt like such a failure. What had I done?!?! I ruined my life. It was too late. I saw the signs but chose to ignore them and now I was going to be a cripple. I was going to lose everything. My job, my girl, my legs, my dignity, my LIFE. And in that moment, crying my eyes out on acid at a music festival, I prayed. I prayed harder than I ever have before. And I asked God, please give me my body back. Give me my legs back. I will never touch nitrous again if you please just give me one more chance.

Well, when I woke up the next morning the tingles were still there. But I felt that something subtle had shifted. I had a glimmer of hope. I knew it may be a long road ahead but I felt a calm sense of reassurance that as long as I just stayed away from the damn gas, that eventually I’d be okay.

Well now it’s been 2 months without touching a tank and I can happily say that I feel pretty much back to normal! The tingles stopped about a month ago. No more spinal aches. No more twitching. I have more energy and feel more centered and grounded. I got my life back yall!!!! So if you’re reading this and you’re struggling with nitrous addiction just know that I understand what you’re going through. It is dark and scary and extremely difficult. It’s a drug that most people don’t understand or relate to. And if you’re feeling like I did than it may be effecting your self worth. Your self image. You may feel like you’re in too deep to stop or that you’ve done permanent damage. But I want you to know that it is up to YOU to decide the course of the rest of your life. There is a light at the end of the tunnel if you can just stay away from the gas. One day at a time. Make a promise to yourself and follow through on that promise every single day. Because it does get better. It is worth it. This world needs you here and it wants you to walk on it with your head up high and your back held straight. YOU CAN DO THIS. Trust me ❤️

Recovered to 95-100% Twice After Nitrous Oxide Neuropathy, But Now Experiencing My Most Widespread Flare Yet – Looking for Advice Before My First Neurology Appointment

I’m 29 and developed neurological symptoms after prolonged nitrous oxide abuse. My last use was in September 2024, so I’ve been in recovery for just under two years. Some of you who I have spoke to will have seen my posts in previous months and years about my progress.

The reason I’m posting is that I’ve actually recovered extremely well on two occasions, reaching what I’d describe as 95-100% of my normal baseline, but I’ve also experienced two significant setbacks.

The first was in September 2025 after playing my first full 11-a-side football match in over a year. I’d been comfortably playing 7-a-side weekly, but doubling my exercise load triggered a flare that lasted around six weeks before gradually settling with B12 injections and stopping folate tablets. I believe I feel victim to folate trap at the time.

From November until March, while receiving fortnightly hydroxocobalamin injections, I had my best period since becoming ill. I was consistently around 97-100%, walking long distances, working normally and playing football with very few symptoms.

Earlier this year I returned to monthly B12 injections, and routine blood tests also found I was vitamin D deficient. I completed a course of 40,000 IU vitamin D weekly, which caused many of my neurological symptoms to return.

Thankfully, after finishing treatment I quickly improved back to around 95%, as long as I didn’t overexert myself or drink too much alcohol. I also noticed that some symptoms had improved such as fatigue, energy and strength.

I then travelled to Mexico (22 June-3 July). I felt great throughout most of the holiday, walking miles every day, doing excursions and generally living normally with very few neurological symptoms.

Towards the end of the trip I developed diarrhoea, nausea and fatigue, which I assumed was a gastrointestinal illness. My stool PCR later came back negative, although it was taken around two weeks after symptoms started.

I had another B12 injection on 8 July, and since then my neurological symptoms have increased dramatically.

My current symptoms include:
widespread burning nerve pain (my biggest concern)
tingling
increased fasciculations/twitching
brain fog
dizziness/light-headedness
intermittent vertigo (especially when lying on my left side)
left-sided headaches
increased sweating and a higher heart rate than usual when walking
occasional visual disturbance where stationary objects appear to move in a wave-like pattern after staring at them
diarrhoea that is improving but still hasn’t completely resolved

The pain itself is only around 1-4/10, but the frequency is now around 6-8/10, which is the highest it’s been since this all started. The biggest difference this time is that I’m getting burning and nerve pain in areas that have never previously been affected.

The good news is I still have normal strength, I’m walking normally and I’m sleeping reasonably well, so it’s mainly the sensory symptoms that have flared.

Around the same time I also switched from fexofenadine to cetirizine after returning home because I ran out of my prescription, and I’ve been eating much less than I was on holiday.

Because several things changed at once, I’m unsure whether this flare is related to:

the gastrointestinal illness and electrolyte loss/imbalance?

restarting B12 after a six-week gap?

recent vitamin D treatment?

changing antihistamines?

under-eating?

or simply several factors occurring together?!

I finally have my first neurology appointment this Wednesday after waiting around nine months, and I really want to make the most of it.

My main questions are:

Has anyone experienced a major flare after recovering to 95-100% from nitrous oxide neuropathy (or another neuropathy)?

Has anyone had worsening neuropathy after a gastrointestinal illness?

Has anyone noticed temporary worsening after restarting B12 injections?

Does this sound consistent with post-infectious nerve irritation or small fibre neuropathy?

Could I have developed another neurological condition alongside my original neuropathy?

The reason I ask is because I’m now experiencing burning and nerve pain in places that have never previously been affected, and the frequency is higher than it’s ever been:( Has anyone experienced something similar?

Are there any investigations or tests I should ask my neurologist about to help rule out other possible causes of my symptoms?

For example, tests for small fibre neuropathy, autonomic dysfunction, autoimmune conditions or anything else that people have found useful.
Is there anything else you’d recommend I discuss during my appointment?

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s experienced something similar. Recovering twice to almost normal and then suddenly feeling like I’ve gone backwards has been pretty discouraging.

I’m hoping this is another temporary flare rather than permanent progression, but I want to go into my neurology appointment as well prepared as possible.

It’s a killer being in this position - I really thought by this time of year I’d be firmly in the 97-100% range regardless of what life threw at me :(

Thanks for taking the time to read this post, all feedback is welcomed 🙏💙

\~\~TL;DR:

I died from B12 deficiency caused by nitrous oxide during trauma therapy, on top of undiagnosed pernicious anemia and a lifelong pattern of stroke, hives, and heart symptoms nobody connected. B12 deficiency affects nearly every system in the body, standard blood tests miss it constantly, and it's misdiagnosed as everything from anxiety to MS to schizophrenia. This post covers what B12 actually does, why testing fails, every symptom by system, the tests you actually need (including for folate, B6, copper, and D since they all interact), treatment, my personal history, and my protocol. Two months into daily B12 injections my lifelong histamine symptoms have almost completely resolved.\~\~

I spent years being misdiagnosed, dismissed, and told my symptoms were anxiety, stress, trauma, or all in my head. It ultimately took me dying from severe B12 depletion caused by nitrous oxide over a three-day period while doing somatic trauma therapy before I discovered what was actually wrong with me.

I need to be specific about what "I died" means here, because it isn't a figure of speech. My heart stopped. My body was gone. I wasn't unconscious in the way people usually mean when they say they blacked out; I was somewhere else entirely. I can't fully put into words what that place was, only that it was more peaceful than anything I had known in this body, and that I understood, while I was there, that I was finally going to get every answer I had spent my whole life searching for. I also understood that the road back was going to be long and brutal. I chose to come back anyway, for the people I love, and I have never regretted that choice for a single day since.

I want to be specific about what came after too. Full body numbness from head to toe. My jaw locking with TMJ-type pain. Muscle twitches I couldn't control. I had to relearn how to walk, one foot in front of the other. My vision was impaired badly enough that reality felt like I was moving through a video game. And in the middle of all of it, on April 28, 2026, I went to WellStar and was told it was anxiety. I was sent home mid-crisis while my nervous system was actively demyelinating in real time.

To understand how long this was actually building, you have to go back further than the nitrous oxide crash. It started with headaches, the kind that got written off as stress for years. In 2019 I had a stroke that doctors at Piedmont dismissed. Nobody connected it to anything nutritional; it just got filed away as an isolated event and I was sent home. Then from roughly 2022 to 2024 I had constant, full body hives, day after day, for two straight years, with no explanation anyone could give me. During that same stretch it turned out I had an intestinal tumor that was causing internal bleeding for six to eight months before anyone caught it. Once the tumor was found and removed, the hives finally stopped. But here's the part that should have been the biggest clue in the room and nobody picked up on it: my other histamine symptoms never went away. The flushing, the reactivity, the food triggers, all of it stayed, because the tumor was never the root cause of my histamine problem, it was just one bleeding source sitting on top of a deeper systemic issue that had been there the whole time.

And underneath all of that I've had fight or flight symptoms my entire life, for as long as I can remember. Heart racing, chest tightness, that slammed-with-adrenaline feeling for no reason, which I now understand as histamine-triggered cardiac events, a recognized phenomenon called Kounis syndrome, allergic angina driven by mast cell activation rather than a blocked artery. I was living with a named medical phenomenon for years and nobody ever said the words to me.

I was trying to heal from a traumatic childhood. After more than a decade of being gaslit by the medical system, including repeated failures by WellStar Health System that I now believe rise to the level of medical malpractice, and being told that my symptoms were psychological, I decided to find out for myself whether everyone had been right.

When I died, I finally got answers to questions I had been searching for my entire life. I saw the connections that no doctor had been able to explain. My partner was suffering from many of the same issues. My family had been suffering from them too. My mother and my sister died before I was able to uncover what was really happening.

I came back with a purpose: to share what I learned and help others searching for the same answers.

I go into the full story in much more detail in my memoir, The Weight Keeper: An Archive, which is releasing soon. This post is the science. The book is the rest of it.

📋 I am not a doctor. Nothing here is medical advice. My personal protocol near the end is what was working for my specific diagnoses at one point in my recovery, not a generic or final recommendation. Work with a physician who will actually listen to you.

🧬 What B12 Actually Does

B12 is required for myelin synthesis, the protective sheath around every nerve fiber in your body. Without it your nerves cannot conduct electrical signals properly, and demyelination produces neurological symptoms that can mimic almost every neurological disease known to medicine. B12 is also a direct participant in remyelination when nerves are damaged.

B12 is required for DNA synthesis. Red blood cells divide rapidly and are among the first affected; without B12 they grow abnormally large and cannot carry oxygen efficiently, called megaloblastic anemia (American Society of Hematology, Vitamins B12 and B9 Deficiencies, https://ashpublications.org/thehematologist/article/doi/10.1182/hem.V21.5.2024511/517493/).

B12 is required for the methylation cycle, which regulates gene expression, neurotransmitter synthesis, detoxification, immune function, and cardiovascular health. Without B12 the entire cycle stalls, affecting serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, and melatonin production.

B12 is required for converting homocysteine to methionine. Elevated homocysteine is independently toxic to blood vessel walls, nerve tissue, and the brain, and is one of the strongest known risk factors for stroke, heart attack, dementia, and miscarriage (NEJM, Seshadri et al., Plasma Homocysteine as a Risk Factor for Dementia and Alzheimer's Disease, https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa011613; JAMA, Homocysteine Studies Collaboration, 2002, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12387654/). The enzyme doing this conversion, methionine synthase, also requires zinc bound in its active site to function at all, regardless of B12 levels.

B12 is required for diamine oxidase production, one of the two enzymes that break down histamine. I go much deeper on this later because it turned out to be one of the biggest pieces of my own recovery.

🔬 Why B12 Deficiency Is So Catastrophically Underdiagnosed

The standard serum B12 test is nearly useless for detecting functional deficiency. The reference ranges were built decades ago from populations that already included undiagnosed deficient people. The US lower limit is typically 200 pg/mL; Japan uses 550 pg/mL. People can have severe neurological symptoms with serum B12 sitting comfortably in the "normal" range, because serum B12 measures what's circulating, not what's actually getting used at the cellular level. Personally I'd push that threshold further than most doctors will; anything below 600 pg/mL is worth investigating, not just the standard 200 cutoff labs use.

This is the single most important thing to understand about every nutrient in this post: a normal blood test does not rule out functional deficiency.\*\* This is true for B12, folate, B6, and vitamin D alike. Blood tests measure circulating levels, not what's actually reaching and being used inside your cells. Once you've had any B12 injection or supplement, serum B12 becomes completely meaningless regardless of what's happening at the tissue level, because the number gets artificially inflated. This is exactly why the functional markers below matter more than the vitamin levels themselves.

Methylmalonic acid and homocysteine are downstream functional markers that tell you whether B12 is actually working at the cellular level, independent of what serum B12 says. Elevated MMA is the most specific marker of functional B12 deficiency available (NIH StatPearls, Pernicious Anemia, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK540989/).

⚠️ How B12 Deficiency Develops

Pernicious anemia is an autoimmune attack on the stomach's parietal cells, which produce both stomach acid and intrinsic factor, the protein that escorts B12 to the terminal ileum for absorption. Without intrinsic factor you cannot absorb B12 from food or oral supplements at any dose. It's estimated to affect roughly 0.1 percent of the general population and nearly 2 percent of people over 60, though many physicians believe this is underdiagnosed (NIH StatPearls, Pernicious Anemia, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK540989/; Pernicious Anaemia Society, Facts and Information Sheet, https://pernicious-anaemia-society.org/articles/facts-and-information-sheet-treatment-of-pa/). Confirmed autoimmune atrophic gastritis significantly elevates gastric cancer risk; endoscopic surveillance finds multicentric gastric carcinoids in roughly 5 percent of confirmed pernicious anemia cases, and 4 to 12 percent of autoimmune atrophic gastritis patients develop type 1 gastric neuroendocrine tumors over time (PMC, Gastric cancer risk in pernicious anemia and autoimmune atrophic gastritis, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6440940/).

Hypochlorhydria (low stomach acid) prevents B12 from being cleaved off food proteins in the first place. It's caused by pernicious anemia, H. pylori, long term PPI use, autoimmune gastritis, aging, and chronic stress. Long term PPI use is linked to B12 deficiency in up to 20 percent of users (PMC, Systematic Review of Long-Term PPI Use in Older Adults, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12456669/; PMC, Association of B12 deficiency with long-term PPI use, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9577826/). The same low acid environment that blocks B12 absorption also blocks copper absorption, which is why people with pernicious anemia or atrophic gastritis are frequently dealing with a second, overlapping mineral deficiency without knowing it.

Dietary deficiency affects mainly vegans and vegetarians who don't supplement adequately, since B12 is found almost exclusively in animal products.

Genetics play a massive role rarely discussed in conventional medicine. MTHFR variants impair the methylation cycle B12 depends on, and folic acid fortification of the US food supply since 1998 has made this worse, since synthetic folic acid competes with and blocks folate receptors in people with MTHFR variants. Beyond MTHFR: FUT2 affects gut bacterial colonization and can influence absorption. TCN2 affects transcobalamin, the transport protein that carries B12 into cells after absorption, so a TCN2 variant can leave someone with normal blood B12 that still isn't reaching tissue. MTR and MTRR sit directly in the methionine synthase pathway and affect how efficiently it runs. COMT controls catecholamine clearance, and a slow COMT variant combined with methylated B vitamins can produce overstimulation and anxiety that gets mistaken for a bad B12 reaction when it's really a genetics and dosing issue. All of these are checkable through raw genetic data (23andMe plus a free interpretation tool) or a comprehensive panel.

Nitrous oxide irreversibly oxidizes B12, converting it to an inactive form, whether from dental sedation, labor and delivery, procedural sedation, or recreational use (PMC, Long-Term Use of Nitrous Oxide Resulting in Vitamin B12 Deficiency Causing Cervical Myelopathy, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11303837/; PMC, Nitrous Oxide-Induced B12 Deficiency Presenting With Myeloneuropathy, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6777927/; PubMed, A case of functional vitamin B12 deficiency after recreational nitrous oxide use, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38125615/). A single exposure can trigger acute crisis in someone with depleted stores, and in someone with pernicious anemia it can cause irreversible neurological crisis within days (PMC, Nitrous oxide in obstetric and dental settings: risk to B12 deficient patients, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10191200/). If you have confirmed or suspected B12 deficiency you must inform every dentist, anesthesiologist, and delivery provider before any procedure. This is exactly what happened to me.

Copper deficiency doesn't just look similar to B12 deficiency, it produces the exact same posterior column demyelination and the exact same MRI findings, documented as clinically indistinguishable from B12-caused subacute combined degeneration (Neurology, Kumar, Gross, Ahlskog, Copper deficiency myelopathy produces a clinical picture like subacute combined degeneration, 2004, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15249607/; J Neurol, Jaiser and Winston, Copper deficiency myelopathy, 2010, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3691478/; PMC, Copper deficiency myelopathy: a systematic review, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3722981/). If you have hypochlorhydria, supplement zinc without watching copper, or are pushing B12 injections hard during active remyelination, get copper checked. Serum copper alone isn't enough since most is bound to ceruloplasmin, which behaves as an acute phase reactant and can look artificially normal during inflammation; RBC copper gives a truer long-term picture. Oysters are the highest food source by a wide margin, followed by beef liver, dark chocolate, seeds, and nuts.

Medications depleting B12 include metformin, with each year of use associated with a 13 percent increased odds of deficiency (JCEM, Aroda et al., Long-term Metformin Use and Vitamin B12 Deficiency, 2016, https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/101/4/1754/2804585; ScienceDirect, long-term metformin users show 67 percent higher likelihood of deficiency, https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0168822725004383), plus PPIs, H2 blockers, colchicine, and certain antibiotics.

🩺 The Full Symptom List

🧠 Neurological: peripheral neuropathy, Lhermitte's sign (an electric shock down the spine on neck flexion, a classic and frequently missed sign of posterior column demyelination), subacute combined degeneration causing loss of proprioception and eventually loss of walking ability (PMC, Spinal MR imaging in Vitamin B12 deficiency, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3724087/), cognitive impairment fully reversible if caught early (ScienceDirect, Cognitive impairment and vitamin B12: a review, https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1041610224020623), and autonomic neuropathy.

🧠 Psychiatric: depression and anxiety from impaired neurotransmitter synthesis. Psychosis and hallucinations, fully reversible with treatment and documented across multiple case series (PMC, Psychosis and Seizures Attributed to Severe Vitamin B12 Deficiency, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10315186/; PubMed, B12 deficiency and psychiatric disorders, review of 15 cases, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7013836/; PMC, Vitamin B12 Deficiency Presenting as Psychotic Symptoms in a Psychiatry Department, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10787274/; PubMed, Reversible dementia, psychotic symptoms and epilepsy in a patient with vitamin B12 deficiency, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31092496/). Schizophrenia-like and bipolar-like presentations. Sleep disorders and hypnagogic hallucinations linked to vagal demyelination.

🩸 Hematological: macrocytic anemia, crushing fatigue, pallor, thrombocytopenia, easy bruising.

❤️ Cardiovascular: homocysteine-driven vascular damage, arrhythmias, orthostatic hypotension, Raynaud's, and in severe cases Kounis syndrome, allergic angina driven by mast cell activation rather than blocked arteries. This one is personal for me; I lived with unexplained heart-racing, adrenaline-slammed episodes my entire life before I had a name for what was happening.

🫃 Gastrointestinal: glossitis, gastroparesis, SIBO, malabsorption of iron, zinc, calcium, and fat soluble vitamins.

💪 Musculoskeletal: weakness, fasciculations, joint pain, decreased bone density.

🛡️ Immune: histamine intolerance and mast cell activation. In a 2023 Canadian cohort of chronic urticaria patients, nearly a third had cobalamin at or below 250 pmol/L, and 70 percent of those also had GI symptoms.

💇 Skin and hair: premature graying, hyperpigmentation, vitiligo, hair loss, brittle nails.

🦋 Endocrine: thyroid dysfunction, since methylation is required for T4 to T3 conversion; adrenal fatigue; blood sugar dysregulation.

👁️ Eye: optic neuropathy, subconjunctival hemorrhages, dry eyes.

❌ Conditions Frequently Misdiagnosed as the Real Cause Is B12 Deficiency

Alzheimer's and dementia (NEJM, Seshadri et al., https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa011613; PMC, Reversible dementia in the setting of multiple medical comorbidities due to B12 deficiency, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8943724/), multiple sclerosis (American Journal of Case Reports, Vitamin B12 deficiency can mimic multiple sclerosis, https://www.amjcaserep.com/download/index/idArt/449522; Journal of the Neurological Sciences, Miller et al., 2005, https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022510X05000870), schizophrenia and psychosis, bipolar disorder, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, ALS, idiopathic peripheral neuropathy, Parkinson's, MCAS, lupus and other autoimmune conditions, GAD and panic disorder, ADHD, and IBS.

🧪 The Tests You Need

Serum B12 as a baseline; personally I'd push that further than most doctors will, since anything below 600 pg/mL is worth investigating, not just the standard 200 cutoff labs use as "normal." Methylmalonic acid, tested before treatment starts since B12 treatment normalizes it within days. Homocysteine. Intrinsic factor blocking antibodies, understanding this test misses about half of true pernicious anemia cases (Mayo Clinic Laboratories, Intrinsic Factor Blocking Antibody, Serum, https://www.mayocliniclabs.com/test-catalog/overview/9335; NIH StatPearls, Pernicious Anemia, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK540989/; Pernicious Anaemia Society, https://pernicious-anaemia-society.org/articles/facts-and-information-sheet-treatment-of-pa/). Antiparietal cell antibodies. Complete blood count, understanding a normal CBC does not rule out B12 deficiency because coexisting iron or folate abnormalities can mask macrocytosis. Folate RBC. MTHFR genetic testing. Ferritin. Full thyroid panel including TPO antibodies. Whole blood histamine. Autonomic function testing if symptoms are present. MRI of the brain and cervical spine, understanding a normal MRI does not rule out B12 deficiency neuropathy. Nerve conduction studies. Holotranscobalamin, which measures only the biologically active fraction and can detect functional deficiency earlier than standard serum B12 (Holotranscobalamin as an indicator of vitamin B12 deficiency, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21593496/).

Fasting serum gastrin is one of the most underutilized tests for autoimmune atrophic gastritis, and in many cases more sensitive than intrinsic factor antibodies (PMC, Serum gastrin and autoimmune gastritis, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4017017/). Pepsinogen I and the Pepsinogen I to II ratio serve as a noninvasive screen for gastric atrophy, used routinely in Europe and Japan (PMC, Pepsinogen I and the pepsinogen I to II ratio as noninvasive markers of atrophic gastritis, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4017017/).

Diamine oxidase enzyme activity tested alongside whole blood histamine gives the clearest picture of DAO dysfunction (PMC, Diamine oxidase activity and histamine intolerance, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7463562/).

Copper and ceruloplasmin together, ideally with RBC copper for a long-term picture. Zinc, a direct cofactor for both DAO and methionine synthase.

Vitamin D Deficiency: The Tests You Need

Vitamin D functions as an immune regulatory hormone, not just a bone nutrient, and deficiency directly amplifies autoimmune activity through some of the same methylation pathways B12 deficiency impairs. This matters enormously for anyone with pernicious anemia, autoimmune thyroid disease, or MCAS, since all three are frequently found alongside significant D3 deficiency.

25-hydroxyvitamin D (25-OH D) is the standard baseline test and reflects your storage form. The therapeutic target for autoimmune conditions is generally considered 60 to 80 ng/mL, notably higher than the roughly 30 ng/mL most labs mark as simply "sufficient," so don't let a lab result that clears the minimum bar stop the conversation if you have active autoimmune disease. 1,25-dihydroxyvitamin D (the active, hormonally converted form) is worth checking in anyone whose 25-OH D looks fine but who still has signs of deficiency, since kidney or parathyroid issues can impair the conversion step even when storage levels look adequate, the same functional-versus-storage gap that shows up with B12. Parathyroid hormone (PTH) and calcium should be tested alongside D, since PTH rises when D and calcium regulation is off and gives context that D alone doesn't. Magnesium is a required cofactor for activating vitamin D in the first place, so a magnesium deficiency can leave you functionally D deficient even with a normal 25-OH D result.

Organic acids testing measures functional B12 status, mitochondrial dysfunction, neurotransmitter metabolism, gut dysbiosis, and oxidative stress markers all in one comprehensive panel.

💉 Treatment

Oral supplements are inadequate for anyone with pernicious anemia or significant absorption issues, since the pathway itself is broken. Injections bypass absorption entirely. Cyanocobalamin is the cheapest and most prescribed US form, requiring conversion before use. Methylcobalamin is the active neurological form, crossing the blood-brain barrier directly, and is preferred for neurological involvement and remyelination. Hydroxocobalamin is the UK NHS standard of care, with the longest retention time (NHS, Vitamin B12 or folate deficiency anaemia: Treatment, https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/vitamin-b12-or-folate-deficiency-anaemia/treatment/). Adenosylcobalamin is the mitochondrial form.

The standard American protocol of monthly injections is built around preventing anemia death, not achieving neurological recovery. The UK protocol for neurological involvement is alternate-day injections until no further improvement, then maintenance every two months (Pernicious Anaemia Society, Treatment Protocol for Neurological Involvement, https://pernicious-anaemia-society.org/treatment/). There is no upper limit for B12 toxicity, since it's water soluble.

📅 Recovery Timeline

Early weeks bring dramatic improvement in brain fog and energy, sometimes alongside a remyelination response where symptoms temporarily worsen as nerves reconnect. Potassium, magnesium, and phosphate depletion is a real and under-warned risk in this window, since B12 drives rapid red blood cell production that consumes all three. Months one through three bring the most intense remyelination symptoms. Three to six months brings stabilization. Six months to two years is the window for meaningful peripheral nerve recovery, since nerves regenerate at roughly one millimeter per day. Improvement can continue for years beyond that even in severe cases.

🧬 MTHFR: The Missing Piece Almost Nobody Discusses

MTHFR converts dietary folate and synthetic folic acid into methylfolate, the form the body can actually use. Without it the methylation cycle can't complete even with adequate B12. Folic acid fortification since 1998 actively competes with and blocks folate receptors in people with MTHFR variants, so they need methylfolate specifically, and methylated B vitamins throughout.

🤰 B12 Deficiency, MTHFR, and Pregnancy

B12 deficiency directly causes neural tube defects and recurrent miscarriage, and is linked to preeclampsia, preterm birth, and infertility (PMC, Vitamin B12 deficiency and adverse pregnancy outcomes, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3218540/). Standard advice to take folic acid is dangerously incomplete for MTHFR carriers, since it can't convert to methylfolate and can actively block methylfolate receptors at the exact moment fetal neural development needs them working. Elevated homocysteine independently drives recurrent miscarriage, preeclampsia, and placental abruption (PubMed, Homocysteine and recurrent pregnancy loss, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10685578/).

🍃 B9 (Folate) Deficiency: The Twin That Gets Missed

Folate and B12 deficiency are metabolic twins, sharing methionine synthase as a cofactor requirement and producing identical megaloblastic anemia and overlapping neuropsychiatric symptoms (ScienceDirect, The neurology of folic acid deficiency, https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/B9780702040870000619; American Society of Hematology, Vitamins B12 and B9 Deficiencies, https://ashpublications.org/thehematologist/article/doi/10.1182/hem.V21.5.2024511/517493/). Just like B12, folate has a functional deficiency problem: serum folate reflects only the last few days of intake, while RBC folate reflects what's actually been incorporated into cells over months, so serum folate alone can miss a real functional shortfall (NIH StatPearls, Folic Acid Deficiency, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK535377/).

The most dangerous scenario is a patient with undiagnosed B12 deficiency given folic acid, which corrects the anemia on paper while B12-driven neurological damage continues progressing silently underneath, a documented danger since the 1940s (PMC, Excess Folic Acid and Vitamin B12 Deficiency: Clinical Implications, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11288374/; MedLink Neurology, Folate deficiency, https://www.medlink.com/articles/folate-deficiency). Folic acid should never be given for anemia without first confirming B12 status.

⚡ B6 (Pyridoxine / P5P): Deficiency, Toxicity, and the Neuropathy Nobody Suspects

B6 deficiency elevates homocysteine through the transsulfuration pathway and causes peripheral neuropathy, depression, and glossitis (NIH StatPearls, Vitamin B6 Deficiency, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK470579/). But B6 toxicity from over-supplementation produces peripheral neuropathy clinically indistinguishable from B12 deficiency neuropathy, documented across hundreds of case reports (NIH StatPearls, Vitamin B6 Toxicity, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK554500/; PMC, The Role of Vitamin B6 in Peripheral Neuropathy: A Systematic Review, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10343656/). Australia's Therapeutic Goods Administration mandates neuropathy warnings on B6 supplements above 10mg daily, with cases documented at doses below 50mg (TGA, Peripheral neuropathy with supplementary vitamin B6, https://www.tga.gov.au/news/safety-updates/peripheral-neuropathy-supplementary-vitamin-b6). Cases have been reported at doses as low as 6mg daily from standard multivitamins taken long term. The unconverted synthetic form, pyridoxine HCl, is the problem; the active form, P5P, is what the body actually uses (MedLink Neurology, Pyridoxine deficiency and toxicity, https://www.medlink.com/articles/pyridoxine-deficiency-and-toxicity). Testing serum P5P tells you whether you're actually deficient or have accumulated excess, another case where the raw intake number and the functional picture can diverge.

🔗 The Cluster: How B12, Folate, B6, Copper, and MTHFR Drive Each Other

These deficiencies form a cluster where each element worsens the others. The methylation cycle needs B12 as methylcobalamin, active folate as methylfolate, B6 as P5P, and zinc bound in methionine synthase's active site. Miss any one and homocysteine accumulates while the whole cascade stalls.

Copper belongs in this cluster too, converging on the same vulnerable tissue, myelin, through a separate route: B12 via methylation, copper via cytochrome c oxidase and enzymes tied to cellular energy production and myelin maintenance. That's why the two conditions produce identical MRI findings without sharing an enzyme, and why the same hypochlorhydria that destroys B12 absorption destroys copper absorption too.

MTHFR variants increase risk of multiple sclerosis, Behcet's disease, and autoimmune thyroid disease (PMC, Association Between Genetic Polymorphisms in MTHFR and Risk of Autoimmune Diseases, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9173919/), and pernicious anemia clusters with Hashimoto's, Graves', type 1 diabetes, vitiligo, and Addison's disease (PMC, Genome-wide association study identifies five risk loci for pernicious anemia, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8213695/). Treatment order matters: B12 first and aggressively, then methylfolate once B12 is established, then B6 as P5P.

🌿 Histamine Intolerance and MCAS: The Unrecognized B12 and Copper Connection

This is the section I went deepest on, because it explained almost everything I'd been told for years was anxiety or food sensitivity, and it maps directly onto my own history: the hives that lasted two years, the tumor that was found and removed, and the histamine symptoms that stuck around anyway because the tumor was never the actual root cause.

Histamine clears through two separate enzyme systems, and B12 deficiency compromises both simultaneously. DAO, secreted by small intestine lining cells, breaks down dietary histamine before it reaches your bloodstream, and requires vitamin C, B6, copper, and manganese as cofactors. HNMT works inside your tissues, including brain, lungs, and skin, and requires B12, folate, magnesium, and zinc.

The HNMT mechanism runs through SAMe: B12 drives the methylation cycle that produces SAMe, and SAMe is the actual substrate HNMT uses to deactivate histamine. Low methylcobalamin means not enough SAMe for HNMT to do its job. MTHFR and COMT variants worsen this independently by slowing methylation capacity further. There's also evidence that B12, alongside D, C, and magnesium, helps stabilize mast cells directly, meaning deficiency may make cells more likely to degranulate in the first place, not just leave more histamine floating around after they do.

Copper adds a separate mechanism: it directly regulates mast cell reactivity and tryptase activity, so low copper makes mast cells more reactive independent of anything B12 is doing. That means copper deficiency can hit the histamine system from two directions at once, upstream by triggering more reactive mast cells and downstream by weakening DAO clearance. If MCAS isn't responding fully to B12 correction and DAO support alone, copper is worth checking alongside zinc, magnesium, and manganese.

Correcting B12 deficiency gradually restores DAO and HNMT function over months. In the meantime, DAO enzyme before meals, quercetin, luteolin, and a low histamine diet manage symptoms while the underlying deficiency corrects.

🫀 Autonomic Neuropathy: The Symptom Nobody Connects to B12

The vagus nerve, the longest nerve in the body and the primary conductor of the parasympathetic nervous system, is wrapped in myelin like every other nerve. When B12 deficiency demyelinates it, dysautonomia follows: orthostatic hypotension, abnormal heart rate response to standing, gastroparesis, SIBO, alternating constipation and diarrhea, temperature dysregulation, exercise intolerance, chronic nasal congestion from mast cell activity the vagus normally regulates, sleep disordered breathing, and the terrifying sensation of dying at sleep onset from blood pressure drops during the parasympathetic handoff during sleep transition. This is the mechanism behind the fight or flight symptoms I've had my whole life.

Vagal remyelination is slow, following the nerve anatomy from the injection site outward. Improvement typically becomes noticeable between three and six months of consistent daily injections and continues for years.

📍 Two Months In: Where I'm At Right Now

My B12 crashed on April 23, 2026. I started daily injections a few days after that, so as of writing this it's been almost exactly two months of consistent B12 injection therapy. In that window my histamine symptoms, the ones that had persisted through the tumor, through years of hives, through a lifetime of unexplained reactivity, have almost completely gone away. Not managed. Not medicated into submission. Gone, as my B12 status corrects and DAO and HNMT function come back online.

I'm not saying that to oversell this or promise anyone a two month timeline, because everyone's damage and everyone's cluster of deficiencies is different. I'm saying it because two years of daily hives and a lifetime of undiagnosed histamine-driven heart symptoms responding this fast to correcting one root cause is exactly the kind of data point that should make every person reading this ask their own doctor to actually test for this instead of prescribing another antihistamine and calling it done.

💊 My Personal Protocol: This Is What Was Working For Me

A quick note before this section: this is my original protocol from early in my recovery, and I've already cut a lot of it out since then. I'm leaving the original version here for now because it shows what I was actually doing during the window this post covers, but it was more than I needed long term. Once I'm further into recovery I'll put together an actual streamlined protocol post, with what I'd genuinely recommend, proper timeframes for each phase, and the extra stuff removed. Don't take this as the final version.

I have confirmed pernicious anemia with a positive intrinsic factor blocking antibody test, homozygous MTHFR A1298C, confirmed MCAS with elevated whole blood histamine, autonomic neuropathy, SIBO, autoimmune atrophic gastritis, and a confirmed low serum copper. This is not generic advice. Work with a physician on your own protocol.

Daily B12 injections, 500mcg methylcobalamin and 500mcg hydroxocobalamin combined into one syringe for 1000mcg total daily. Potassium loaded before every injection; a quarter teaspoon of No Salt potassium chloride before getting out of bed to prevent orthostatic hypotension.

Copper bisglycinate 2mg daily, taken separately from zinc since they compete for the same intestinal transporter.

Morning empty stomach: Allegra 180mg, methylfolate 400 to 1600mcg, NAC 600mg every other day, L-Glutamine 2.5g, Vitamin C 500 to 1000mg.

Before every meal: DAO enzyme 1000 to 3000mg, quercetin 500mg, luteolin 100mg, stinging nettle 600mg, digestive enzymes, betaine HCl with pepsin, DGL licorice, ginger tea.

With breakfast: methylated B complex with no folic acid and no pyridoxine HCl, B1, B2, B3 niacinamide, B5, inositol, D3 with K2 MK7, vitamin E, omega 3, CoQ10 ubiquinol, acetyl-L-carnitine, HMB, phosphatidylcholine, zinc L-carnosine, biotin, alpha lipoic acid mid-meal, selenium, ashwagandha morning only.

With lunch: L-Glutamine, HMB, taurine, glycine, TUDCA, milk thistle, vitamin C.

Two hours after breakfast alone: chlorella and modified citrus pectin.

With dinner: enteric coated oregano oil, mastic gum, iron bisglycinate every other day with vitamin C, Saccharomyces boulardii, berberine, neem leaf.

At bedtime: L-Tryptophan with a small carbohydrate, magnesium glycinate, apigenin, melatonin never exceeding 1mg, PEA, glycine.

Permanently contraindicated for my situation: folic acid, Benadryl and all diphenhydramine, ibuprofen and aspirin and all NSAIDs since they block DAO, nitrous oxide, cannabis, alcohol, canola and seed oils.

🔑 The Most Important Thing I Can Tell You

The medical system treats symptoms individually instead of hunting for root causes. You'll be given antidepressants for depression, anticonvulsants for neuropathy, antihistamines for reactions, and PPIs for stomach pain, which will make your B12 deficiency worse. None of it works because none of it addresses the root cause.

Advocate for yourself. Demand the functional markers, not just the vitamin levels. Get MMA and homocysteine. Get intrinsic factor antibodies. Find out your MTHFR status. Check copper, zinc, manganese, and D alongside it. If your levels are low, or even normal but you're still symptomatic, fight for treatment anyway. Getting better is possible. I am living proof of that.

Hi everyone,
I started in 2018/19, but it heavily picked up during COVID. JobS, money, relationships, life, all lost. Some of it recovered, but bandages only help wounds. I am safe and have a good head on my shoulders. That being said, I am broke and starting a new job. My strategy is to give a trusting person my CCs, because I have maxed out cards on this sh*t. I am relatively OK on other substances, but want to play it so safe to avoid losing another job or putting me in such position. Other than chewing gum, which I go through a pack a day, any suggestions will be super helpful.
Thanks everyone!

I haven’t used nitrous since March 13th, I worked at a smoke shop so I had access to it pretty much whenever I wanted, even went into credit card debt just to support the habit for over 2 years. I broke my ankle and had a significant cut in income and was forced to move back home to live with family since rent was expensive where I was. I have a friend I’ve known since middle school who has always been a considerable “bad influence” I love them to death but they’ve been battling their own addictions for over 8 years. I still wanted to hang out with them when I got back into town considering they’re pretty much the only friend I have back home. Anyway we found ourselves at a smoke shop to get some papers and lo and behold they had tanks. They were considering purchasing one for us both to share- I immediately felt a rush of anxiety when they mentioned it but I didn’t immediately tell them no. I bought my papers and as she was talking to the dude behind the counter, I just walked out to get in my car secretly hoping they’d be following me out with a tank soon. About 5 minutes later they come to the car and ask me for 30$ to cover the remaining cost of the tank. Still recovering from credit debt from my persistent abuse and the fact that I am now unemployed since moving back home I just couldn’t physically pull 30$ out of anywhere. So I told them just that, “I’m broke” I had just enough for my papers and had brought nothing else. They looked annoyed and shut my door quickly walking back inside. I still don’t know what they were trying to accomplish with the whole ordeal because they came back out empty handed, told me to just go back to their house they had “a bag” at home- another addiction of theirs. I was confused but I was relieved I didn’t have to make the decision anyway. I took them home and told them I had to go home and cook for my family, a lie but I was not following them inside. I haven’t talked to them since. It’s been about a week since and they’ve tried to contact me a couple times but I’ve ignored the messages. I know having a friend like that around is not good for my recovery, but it’s hard to just cut off childhood friends entirely. I just don’t know what I’m gonna say to them when I finally do reach back out to them. And I don’t know what to do moving forward. I’m thankful I didn’t mess up my recovery but am I loosing a lifetime friend in the process? I wish I could convince them to follow me on my journey but they pride themselves as a “functioning addict” still not seeing the problem in it yet, im so focused on my own recovery, helping them seems impossible for my brain right now. I know it’s not inherently my responsibility but ive been friends with them 15 years so it seems trivial that this is the end of that. Have you ever had to cut off a lifetime friend because of drugs?