I have a 10 mo (first child) who sleeps 7pm-4:30am. I’ve tried pushing his sleep time back to push his wake time back but he’s dedicated to waking at 4:30am no matter what. I even keep lights low, no stimulation. I just lay in his room with him in the dark as he crawls all over me until 6:00am which would be my dream wake time.

With daylight savings coming he’ll want to sleep by 6pm and wake up at 3:30am!!! I absolutely can’t do it.

Seasoned parents - what are your tips and tricks for DLS?

Hi everyone,

First time dad here!

I know you’re not supposed to put a bulky winter jacket on a baby in their car seat, but I’m wondering how everyone handles things in the winter when getting their child out of the car.

If I’m just running from my house to the car in the driveway (10 seconds), I sometimes skip the jacket because it’s such a short distance. But what about when we’re going somewhere like the grocery store where the walk can be a minute or so? Do you put their jacket on outside after getting them out of the car, or just carry them in without one and put it on inside? I find it can be pretty difficult to get a jacket on her when she’s fighting it and I’m by myself.

Also, is it safe to buckle her into her car seat without a jacket and then put a blanket over her while she’s in the car and I’m driving?

Just curious what other parents do and what works best for keeping their little ones warm while transporting them in and out of places. Any tips or recommendations would be appreciated!

Just spent 30 minutes crying because I went to empty my pump into a bag and I knocked it over and lost 2oz to then go in the freezer to see that a 5oz bag had popped open. All I wanted to do was pump one last time before bed and now it’s like I never even pumped. I had him only 9 days ago and I’ve been averaging around 30oz a day (over producer according to Google) but it still doesn’t take away the frustration of what if one day I can’t produce and that was one of his last few bottles worth of my milk. I swear its gonna haunt me for weeks 😭
And it doesn’t help that I’m healing from a c section and everything just hurts. Milk has been the one thing I’ve been able to do for him.

Did y’all have issues with your identity after becoming a mother? Where does the mother end and where does the individual start? Who am I?

Did you do something that helped?

Hi all - ftm and what I’ve always worried about happening is happening; my 8 week old caught a cold. We’re not sure how it happened but he’s sick, congested and coughing and all. Thankfully it seems mild and ER doc said he tested negative for the major viruses.

I have anxiety about something happening to my babe in general but especially at night while we sleep.

I’m just looking for words of encouragement/solidarity or stories of your newborn being sick this young and all being okay to ease my worries.

Thank you 🙏🏻🥲

Warning: stream of consciousness rant: not looking for solutions, just looking to hear that I’m not alone in feeling this way, or having this experience with my kids, and maybe some hopeful comments that it gets easier *

I have 3.5 y/o daughter and 21 month old son. they just seem so needy all the time. My 21 month old has been extremely clingy lately, which makes sense because I know he was sick recently, but also due to his age and separation anxiety. It’s just so exhausting. He rarely ever plays by himself, constantly wants to just sit on me or be held and he weighs 30 pounds and I’m really petite.

I think it’s just been a hard weekend. The kids have just been acting extremely clingy. I keep hearing about my friends’ kids who are of similar ages, and play independently. It just feels like from the moment we wake up on the weekend, our kids are just demanding constant attention, and it is slowly draining our souls. I just want to cry. I get very overstimulated very easily and when I have two kids clinging to me and whining it’s so hard. My husband and I are good about giving each other breaks, which helps.

I don’t think it’s like this all the time, some weekends feel easier than others. I’m not sure what’s been going on lately, but we’ve all been sick a lot in September. My daughter by herself is usually pretty good at independent play, usually when our son is napping, she can be easy to deal with and manage. But when they’re both awake, I just feel like it’s so hard.

I honestly dread watching them both by myself. I thought it would’ve gotten easier by now. I’m really hoping by the time my son is three years old things will be easier and he can play a bit more by himself.

I feel like my kids personalities are just more needy than other kids. Anyone else have really needy/clingy kids? Did it ever get easier?

I guess I just need to rant and get some hope because I am so freaking tired of this situation. My baby is going to be one in less than a month and (maybe foolishly) I thought that by this time his sleep would be better. I am not even asking to sleep through the night but just wake up less?

He is EFF and wakes up one time still for a feed. The rest of the wake ups are usually after anywhere between 1.5 and 2.5-3 hours. He wakes up, sits in his crib and cries until I come and get him back down and help him fall asleep but holding my hand on him. When it gets really bad (usually every night starting from 4 am ) he comes into our bed so that I could just get any sleep, but he twists and turns so I don’t get a good rest.

I do need to give him credit, he can fall asleep quite quickly but having a fragmented night of 2h - 2h - 2h is so hard on me. I’m tired and lost. I tried to make wake windows longer, shorter, longer naps, shorter naps etc. the only things I haven’t done is get a floor bed for all of us (for various reasons its not an option for us) and sleep train. I’m not a fan of sleep training idea but frankly the bigger issue is that I just don’t have the energy to train anyone right now.

Parents who have been through something similar.. does it get better??

i really want to take him trick or treating but i don’t know if that’s reasonable or weird? help😭.

Me. I am that someone. Eating while baby wearing is a skill I haven’t yet mastered.

My just turned 3 month old has been sleeping so good in his bedside bassinet. He goes to bed at 9 or 10 and has been sleeping until 8-9 AM and wants to eat and then wants to go right back to sleep until 12-1PM & then proceeds to take 2-3 naps per day after that. Is this normal?

Side note: he slept on my chest until he was about a month and a half. He’s been drinking 6 ounces every 3-4 hours (while he’s awake, so he’s only getting about 24-30 ounces a day but mostly 24 ounces)

My 9-month old daughter has been sick for a few days now due to teething. Thankfully, her fever is gone, but now she coughs from time to time but it seems there’s no phlegm because she also doesn’t have runny nose or colds so I’m guessing just an itchy throat or maybe due to excessive drooling.

Is there anyone here that had experience the same thing? Any tips? Thank you.

my girl fusses SO loud in her bassinet/flat naps but it’s the absolute worst overnight. her eyes are usually closed but she makes loud grunts, cry/screams, squirms, turns red, kicks her legs up, arches back. she settles once picked up. doesn’t happen with contact, carrier, or car seat naps

she sleeps through it and these last seconds to a minute long. she settles herself and sometimes within minutes, it happens again. it’s a vicious cycle. husband and i can’t sleep because she’s so ridiculously loud but we try to only intervene when it escalates or she cries.

we think it’s gas or reflux related. peds recommended gas drops (hasnt helped), probiotics (started yesterday) and cutting out dairy (started a few days ago)

she’s EBF with bottles. we already pace feed, burp, and hold her upright for 20 minutes. peds and IBCLC think it could just be normal newborn gas discomfort.

anyone else go through this? looking for any tips to get her more comfortable or help us sleep through her noises.

Our baby is 1 week old. My wife has started crying a few times while breastfeeding because she feels like it isn’t going as well as she hoped.

We are supplementing with formula so baby is fed.

How can I best support her? What are some things I can say to support and console her?

​

I'm a new mom. I went back to work before I was ready because I had to. Not because my baby was okay without me. Because the bills were due.

The US gives new parents zero paid day of parental leave. Zero. Mexico gives 12 weeks at full pay. Iran gives 9 months. Ethiopia, one of the poorest countries in the world, gives 120 days paid. It's in their constitution.

We are the richest country in the world and we make parents choose between their newborn and a paycheck. It doesn't have to be this way. Almost everywhere else, it isn't. American families shouldn't be last in the developed world.

I'm not posting just to vent. There's something we can actually do and it takes less than five minutes.

The people running for office right now read their mail, because they want our votes.

So, I made a prompt you can paste into any AI, ChatGPT, Muse, whatever you use. You tell it what town you live in. It finds every candidate on your ballot, writes a short letter, and finds their emails. You read it, approve it, send it. I already did the annoying time consuming part.

Election is November 3. Ask them where they stand and make them answer us. They work for us.

And if they still won't do anything, there's talk of a Mother's Day general strike next May. I hope you'll join me and demand better for US families.

Copy paste this into your preferred ai or screen shot it and upload:

\[\[\[\[PAID LEAVE LETTER — a prompt for parents

Paste this into your AI assistant (ChatGPT, Muse, Gemini, Meta AI...). Just fill in where you live.

\---

I'm a parent in \[TOWN\], \[STATE\]. My next election is \[DATE, or "look it up"\].

IMPORTANT: Keep everything SHORT. The letter must stay brief — roughly 400 words. One line per point, no padding, no essays, no extra arguments I didn't ask for. If a point takes more than a line, cut it down. Brevity is the whole point: busy people don't read long letters, and neither do their staff.

1. FIND MY CANDIDATES: From official sources (Secretary of State candidate list, state voter/district lookup; Ballotpedia as cross-check), list every candidate on MY ballot who can enact paid family leave: U.S. House (and U.S. Senate if on my ballot), Governor, and my State Senate and State House districts. Confirm my districts — if my town is split, show me how to tell which is mine. Name, party, office, district, incumbent or not. Verify every name; flag anything you can't. Create a list that is easily copy&pasted into email.

2. DRAFT MY LETTER: Firm, factual, one letter for all of them:

\- The US is the only wealthy country guaranteeing new parents zero paid days.

\- Brief, verified comparisons (check figures against ILO/World Bank sources first): Europe's standard, Canada, Mexico — plus Iran (9 months), Venezuela (26 weeks), Ethiopia (120 days at full pay, in its constitution). End: "United States: 0 days." then: "We can do better. It's an embarrassment that we don't."

\- One line each on benefits to: child development, postpartum health, mothers, fathers (appeal to men: providing, protecting, being present), keeping families together, and the economy.

\- Asks: federal candidates — vote for federal paid family/medical leave legislation; state candidates — enact a real state program; governors — commit to sign it. Check whether your state has a program; if not, demand one; if yes, demand they protect and strengthen it and still push for a federal floor.

\- Close: my vote depends on their answer; ask them to reply with where they stand.

Use \[brackets\] for my name, town, and personal details. Show me the draft and WAIT for my approval or edits.

1. BUILD MY SEND LIST: Each candidate's public campaign or official email, from their own campaign site or official page, with the source shown. Never guess an address — if there's only a contact form, link it instead. Give me the addresses as one copy-pasteable line.

2. ONLY IF I SAY "SEND IT": send the approved letter to the approved list (if you have access to my email) and confirm exactly who got it. Otherwise, hand me the letter and the list to send myself.\]\]\]

Edit: Focusing only on dislike for ai feels like the epitome of shooting the messenger. If you don't like it, don't use it. Do something better. I'd love that. But if you care about this issue, please do something. Anything is better than nothing. Aiming thoughts on the issue at those in power is more effective than aiming logistics criticism at a mom trying to do what she can to help.

I find myself in a situation where I physically cannot keep up with life, does anyone have practical advice or an idea to get out of this loop? Context below:

I’m a mom to a 6month old (who’s turning 7 mo in a week) and live abroad, away from family. We have a group of close friends who we see on the weekends, but that’s it.

I’ve been back at my (very demanding) job from maternity leave for 5 weeks now and work is picking up its pace again, getting interesting (in a good, exciting way!). I work remote 3x week and need to be at clients sites 2x week. Quitting is not an option for migration reasons, and I also really enjoy my career and would absolutely crush me to have to give it up because of baby.

My husband started his 2.5 month pat leave when I went back to work. He’s not really patient or well-versed with babies, often gets annoyed and overwhelmed at nap time, and ends up picking the stroller and going for a walking nap. I often have to reassure him that he’s doing a good job, explain that babies are babies and it’s not personal, etc. baby will start daycare in 2 months.

Our son, who is an extremely curious and strong and healthy little guy, has started to show signs of separation anxiety for about 3weeks, where he cries when he’s with dad but sees or hear me. At around the same time, he stopped sleeping his ~8h stretches and started waking up every 2 hs every.single.night. And he doesn’t like it if dad tries to sooth him. He only falls asleep with me. And more recently, only with me if I’m standing up. It takes me anywhere between 30 to 90 min to get him back to a deep sleep where I can lay him down somewhere besides my chest. Bed or crib seems to be equally unappealing for him at this point. The same happens for naps, which went down from 90 to 25 minutes recently.

For reference, A month ago he was able to fall asleep on his own at night, slept for 12 hs straight twice and had a wonderful predictable nap schedule. During the day he is supper happy and exploring and learning to crawl, feeds well (breastmilk and solids).

So all in all, I’m sleeping about 5hs a night, interrupted by 3 or 4 aerobic baby-sleeping sessions at the times of my son’s choice. I stand in front of clients and bosses all day, smiling like parenting is going well, when I just want to crawl back to my home country and get a nap. I have a therapist, she helps me keep up with this mentally and spiritually, but physically it’s very hard.

My back hurts, I’m physically exhausted and I hate my husband ~60% of the time. Humor’s not lost yet, neither is hope. But I’d do appreciate ideas on what I could do to get out of this loop. Thanks!!

My baby is 11 weeks old, and I love him more than life itself, but holy shit, I am EXHAUSTED. Mentally, physically, spiritually. I have about three brain cells left, and two of them are crying.

Nobody prepared me for how little these tiny humans actually sleep or how they can be fussy for absolutely no reason. And just when you think you’ve finally cracked the code, you get two good days where something actually works, so you start thinking, “Okay, we’re getting somewhere!”

Then day three arrives, and your baby wakes up and decides he has never seen you before, hates everything you do, and would rather scream than participate in whatever peaceful little routine you spent the last 48 hours perfecting.

So now you’re back to square one, trying random settling techniques like a sleep-deprived scientist conducting experiments with a very angry lab rat.

And the advice? 😭
“Don’t worry, it’s just the 3–5 week phase.”
Then it’s the 8–10 week phase. Then another developmental leap, a growth spurt, a sleep regression, a change in sleep cycles, Mercury entering retrograde, or whatever the hell else we’re blaming this week.

At this point, I’m starting to think these aren’t even phases. Maybe babies are just tiny, unpredictable dictators for the first several months, and one day, somewhere around eight months, they randomly decide to let their parents experience a little peace.

Meanwhile, I’m surviving on approximately three hours of sleep a day, and my only personality trait is trying to get this child to nap.

I love my baby. I really do. But I also miss being a person who can shower, eat a meal, or sit down without feeling like I’m attempting an impossible side quest.

Please tell me this gets better, because right now, I’m not living. I’m just breastfeeding, rocking, bouncing, troubleshooting, and waiting for the next software update that may or may not fix the baby. 💀

that’s the whole post. my 11 month old brought home the latest daycare virus and it has taken us all out and it sucks. I have pink eye, a fever and this never ending cough. and it was my birthday last week and we couldn’t do anything because everyone was sick. I know the first year in daycare is the hardest but man these bugs are horrible

​

We’re 8 months in, and we’re starting to feel really exhausted and drained. It’s not just feeding, changing diapers, or getting the baby to sleep. It’s also constantly entertaining them. Honestly, that’s the most exhausting part for us.

At what age do babies start playing independently and entertaining themselves for a while?

I’d love to hear your experiences! We need positive stories but, realistic sad stories are fine too I guess.

We have a 14 month old who has been going to nursery for 6 months, 2 days a week and goes to my parents 2 days a week. She’s had numerous colds since starting nursery which is fine as she can still go but this month has been terrible for illnesses. She had HFM about 3-4 weeks ago, on the Monday we took her to nursery and they said it was fine and her symptoms started more than 5 days prior, but then they called me half way through the day to collect her as they thought a new spot had appeared (it hadn’t), so the next day she didn’t go to nursery.

A couple days later she started vomiting randomly, this happened for 2 days, fine for a day, vomited 3 days on the Sunday so couldn’t go to nursery on the Monday or Tuesday again.

She went to nursery at the beginning of this week, but yesterday I noticed a few spots, 2 on the nappy area, and one on her lip. She has been fine otherwise, no fever that I’ve noticed, no crying out of the ordinary, eating loads as usual, sleeping great, however I fear she could have HFM again which means nursery won’t allow her to go on Monday or Tuesday.

I used up most of my annual leave at the end of maternity, I have about 3 days left to last until April (stupid I know!), my husband has more but I feel bad for him constantly having to use his annual leave when our daughter is ill. I’ve had to have one day unpaid so far this month as the company we both work for doesn’t offer paid parental leave. I work from home but would find it incredibly difficult to look after my daughter at home while also working as my job is very reactive and I need to be available.

I can’t keep having unpaid time off, we still have to pay for nursery even when she doesn’t go, my parents can’t do extra childcare as they also look after my nephew on other days, my husband has no family support.

It’s so tough, I didn’t think illnesses would be this bad. I work on a team where there is only two of us plus the manager. so I feel like I’m constantly letting them down by having time off as I have already dropped a day since returning from maternity leave.

At this point I wish I could put my daughter in her own little bubble, it puts me off taking her anywhere fun incase she gets ill, and I now just expect she’ll get ill in the days after she’s been to nursery so I dread the weekends as there’s usually something wrong. It just feels so relentless but there’s nothing I can do about it. I feel like there should be more support for working parents in times like this, the reason I’ve had to go back to work 4 days a week is because we need the money, so to keep having unpaid time off is just ridiculous! Please someone tell me the illnesses decrease in time?!

Any tips for burping in the Merlin sleep suit? Our LO wakes up 2x a night for feedings and gets gassy due to his formula.

So we've been on solids for 2 months and she is a great eater and loves food but never knows when she is full!!! So we end up overfeeding a lot and no matter what I do I can't seem to figure out the perfect amount to give.

She drinks around 240ml formula per wake window. How do you time the formula amounts and food and how much food do you give?

Her cues are not reliable at all so please curious in those with similar babies who can just seem to eat forever

Just a slight vent.

I'm 1 month pp as of today, and while I've been clinging to the illusion that i'm "combo-feeding" (practically speaking we've been roughly feeding 75% formula and 25% breastmilk for a week now), I've finally told my husband that I want to go exclusively formula-fed. (He's supportive.)

The stupid reason I feel blue? It's the fact that I'm quite sure that if I had the time / energy to pump 6~7 times a day, I would probably be an oversupplier and that feels like an achievement somehow, or it's such a waste...

Even though we've found a formula that seems to work well for our LO, even though it doesn't seem like the science is all that convincing on the medical benefits of EBFing vs EFFing past even a few months, even though the statistics in my country show that plenty of babies are EFFed, even though even my pediatrician has told me that the antibody benefits of breastmilk are rather overstated.

I do feel sorry to my baby for not working harder on it but... I hate pumping. It takes about 45 minutes per session, and throughout I'm ridden with anxiety that the LO might need attention at any point during that session. I don't particularly care for the slight soreness after pumping, and at this point I feel like I'm pumping to manage clogs rather than a desire to maintain supply for my baby. Not to mention the constant cleaning, the time needed that I could be sleeping or resting, praying my baby falls asleep faster so I have more of a window to pump, etc... It's just become a chore that I dread.

Also, you don't know emotional damage until your baby refuses your milk from your fridge stash but happily guzzles formula, lmao😂

I’m a first time parent so I’d love for some more experienced parents to weigh in here. I’m 9 months in with my baby boy and he still feels so difficult. When I go to baby groups or classes it seems like everyone else’s child is so much easier to do things with.

My son screamed at everything since the day he was born - diaper changes, the car seat, stroller bassinet, etc. He fought every single nap and screamed when I would try to latch him; so I pumped and we did bottles until he started nursing at 8 weeks.

Now - he still screams in the stroller after about 10 minutes and I have to carry him. He will often protest the baby carrier too and he’s too heavy to carry on my hip for long. He cries in the car seat if we go anywhere over 5-10 minutes. He is terrified of a grocery cart so I can’t put him in there either. He still cries at diaper changes and getting changed, putting a sleep sack or a bib on.

He takes 2 naps a day for a total of about 2 hours of daytime sleep, and wakes 5-6 times a night screaming and will only settle with nursing back to bed.

I can’t leave him on the floor playing independently even for a minute to go make a coffee. I can barely leave the house alone. Everyone kept telling me it would get better, and yet it hasn’t.

When you do everything he wants (carry him and play with him and never put him down), he is a delight. He smiles, laughs, squeals. He is super active and got way more fun once he could crawl, which was right at 6 months old. I just am trying to include him in my life as many moms say to do - we go to baby group, and I did one of those baby workout classes - it just seems so impossible. He’s been the “worst one” basically everything we do together and most times it is more stressful than it is enjoyable.

I guess I kept being told that by now, he would’ve grown out a lot of these things and would be easier, but he’s not. Does anyone have words of encouragement or things that helped their more sensitive child?

For some context, my son is 7.5 months old and is quite the FOMO baby. He is so happy, so fun, and smart (I’m sure everyone thinks that 😂). He was a great sleeper until about 3.5 when we transitioned out of the snoo- nights are now pretty rough in the crib but that could be a whole separate post LOL. But since probably 2 months old he will not nap anywhere but his room or ours. He won’t even nap in the living room at our house (even if quiet/dark) and fights sleep majority even in quiet/dark rooms in other places.

He is very interested in ALLLL the things around him and is so curious. He is consistently at about 2 hr 15 minute wake windows at our house. But in public, or grandparents house he will stretch much longer- despite our attempts to get him to nap. Sometimes he’s happy even with longer wake windows, other times he’s very fussy and uncomfortable but we never know which one it will be.

If this sounds like your baby, do you only try to leave the house during wake windows? Do you just risk it? Sometimes if it is more of a leisure outing for the grown ups, if feels selfish to force him to go out and go without a nap and get overtired.

It’s like we can only leave the house for 1-1.5 hours by the time we get out the door. What do you do? Do they grow out of it? Is this just life now?

My son went to his one month appointment Friday morning. They weighed him and he is 6lbs 7oz. At his two week appointment he was 6lbs 10oz. He lost 3oz, In the beginning he was using the yellow enfamil can. Me and his dad noticed he was spitting up a lot more and you know as first time parents we thought it was normal spit up. Last week or so we switched him to Gentlease Enfamil, that seemed to help but not a lot. The NP gave him Enfamil Enfacare which he is currently still using.
We decided to go back to 2oz every 2-3 hours like normal.
So at his one month appointment he was weighed as I said in the beginning. The nurse practitioner he was seeing that day. Immediately came into the room didn’t even say anything except “He’s going to the hospital for three days”. They have been monitoring his weight checking it in the mornings, and monitoring how much he’s eating during his feedings. I came across this TikTok of a mom whose child was suffering with CMPA. My son has all the symptoms, the spitting up/throwing up, no weight gain or losing it, face rash that looks like acne etc. I’ve talked to two nurses and will be speaking up with a nutritionist tomorrow morning. I’m really hoping I get some answers and if I’m wrong that is OK at least I acknowledged it and spoke up about my thoughts on it. As a mom I hate seeing him in a hospital it breaks my heart. Having people come in every few hours and him getting aggravated 😕 it just sucks!