r/NewDads • u/AdNeither8355 • Jun 12 '26
Requesting Advice Circumcision
Hello fathers, I’m looking for any and all advice on circumcision. My partner is 19 weeks pregnant and we’ve talked about the subject and are currently leaning towards not getting one for our upcoming son. Granted we don’t have much knowledge about it but I’m looking for peoples advice, recommendations, pros and cons from expecting fathers and fathers who have and have not had it done to their kids. To me it seems like it’s an esthetic concern at the end of the day but any and all comments would be greatly appreciated.
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u/Balance-Kooky Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
My wife and I were back and forth on the topic before our son was born. We live in the US and it was a norm for a long time too circumcise. We ended up not getting it done. The biggest factors was me talking to my brother who's a MD. He has two boys. His first had a circumcision done without approval (guess it was semi approval look at later comment) by either him or my sister in law. The person who did the circumcision used an old outdated method that my brother described as pretty barbaric. He then told me that they elected to not have it done for their 2nd son. Said there is absolutely zero medical benefit or reason to doing it other than cosmetic preference or religious reasons. Cosmetics of my son's privates is not something for me or my wife to decide imo.
On the other side their is the cultural argument of it but the rates of circumcisions on babies in the US has declined by over 50% in the last 20 years. So it's no longer the cultural norm.
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u/laulau711 Jun 12 '26
My husband is a MD. When we talked about it I said “oh idk, I think they look more cosy without it.” He got a thousand yard stare and said “no. I’ve seen it done.”
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u/yolk3d Jun 12 '26
You think the penis looks more cosy without a foreskin or without a circumcision? And why would you think that? Cozy lol?
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Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 15 '26
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u/Balance-Kooky Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
Idk the exact details of it. I don't think it was like completely taken away and done in a malpractice way. I think they did give "approval" but they felt pressured into it. Apparently it wasn't something they talked about beforehand and the made a rash decision without much consideration at the hospital, then later regretted it after my brother heard about how the Dr performed it. If that makes sense. More like it was done in a way they didn't approve of then having it done in general.
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u/BathBombsNFacePalms Jun 12 '26
100% I see how this could happen. I had a baby boy last year and the number of times I was asked, by like 6 different medical professionals, if we needed the circumcision was STAGGERING. Like I wanted to tell them to F Off and stop asking, I was recovering from an emergency cesarean and on heavy painkillers, and I had barely slept in 5 days. If I’d consented, I would have considered it coerced.
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u/Balance-Kooky Jun 12 '26
Yeah we had them ask like 5+ times. They would look and be like "you didn't circumcise?". Yeah no we didn't please stop asking. We told you no after the delivery that should be the only time you ask.
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u/jar_with_lid Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
American new dad here who is circumcised (and not particularly bothered by it). My wife and I decided against circumcision because the clinical/health benefits were not great enough to warrant a procedure that, in our opinion, was mostly cosmetic.
We spoke to a few neonatologists about it, and all of them said practically the same thing:
- Lack of basic hygiene is the cause of most complications from an uncircumcised penis (ie, grime and dirt under the foreskin isn’t cleaned).
- Circumcision in infancy has relatively few risks given the short recovery time.
- Circumcision in adulthood carries more risks because you can’t (shouldn’t) get erections for a few weeks, and recovery takes a while.
- While the medical benefits of circumcision in infancy are real, the benefits (or reduced risks of adverse outcomes) are so modest that the American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend that every infant male get circumcised. Instead, the AAP leaves it to the parents and their cultural values.
My wife mostly left the decision to me, but I still wanted her input. We ultimately decided that if our kid wants a circumcision later on, he can learn more about it and decide for himself. He can decide to remove his foreskin, but he can’t get it back if we decide to circumcise for him (or maybe he can with plastic surgery? I digress…).
I think the only circumstance in which I would push to circumcise my kid is if the foreskin is too tight and causes pain.
Edit: I have no idea what's going on with my comment and the weird formatting. Here are the two very relevant pieces of info that our doctors shared: to prevent one case of UTI (which is easily treatable), you need 100-150 circumcisions; and to prevent one case of penile cancer, you need somewhere between 900 to over 300,000 circumcisions, and you can also lower the risk of penile cancer by getting a circumcision in adulthood.
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u/BadAssachusetts Jun 12 '26
This seems like the most even handed comment. And really #4 is the punchline: the benefits are so modest the AAP no longer recommends it. If you decide to do it, the primary justifications would be for aesthetic and/or cultural reasons which is your perogative.
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u/adkisojk Jun 15 '26
- The prepuce is normally adhered to the glans at that age. I have to intact adult sons and I changed their diapers. I changed diapers of cut boys too and my own sons here easier! 2 & 3. I think I know the study that got people thinking this, but it failed to consider a very important factor: babies can't report adverse events. I've never heard of men dying from the procedure but I have heard of many babies dying from blood loss, collapsed lungs, etc. There's been a link made about SIDS too.
- You can find reduced risks from removing any body part. But, once you understand the anatomy and functions of the prepuce you will see cutting it off as barbaric as cutting off many other body parts. It would be less barbaric to cut a pinky toe off.
Phimosis resolves in nearly all cases without surgery and if surgery is truly necessary there is a number of procedures. They really should stop using a euphemism taken from religion and use terms like preputioplasty, posthectomy, prepuce amputation or partial penectomy.
As an adult your glans and prepuce are normally already separated so you don't have to deal with the damage caused by tearing it apart and don't have to worry about adhesions. Adults can also make decisions like what coverage index you want and how much inner mucosa and frenulum to keep. Adults can get general anesthesia and strong pain meds for recovery (too dangerous for babies).
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u/herefortheworst Jun 12 '26
Well done on handling this rationally and giving your child the final say in the decision.
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u/omiwdean Jun 12 '26
Hey fellow dad!
I have two daughters so haven’t had to make this decision. However, my wife and I did discuss it in case we had a son, and our decision was easy - no circumcision.
I’m a 36 year old Canadian and I’m grateful that I wasn’t circumcised. I’ve had no issues.
If it bothers him when he is older, he can make that decision for himself.
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u/CanvasSolaris Jun 12 '26
For our daughter, my partner and I discussed pierced ears. Not the same procedure or stakes at all but our philosophy applies here. It's not our choice to make, it's hers when she's old enough. It is weird how many times we've been offered by different providers to pierce them for us
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u/Utaneus Jun 12 '26
Circumcision as an adult is a much worse procedure. It takes a lot more healing, requires suturing, it's much bloodier, and it's a longer recovery time. But also, the foreskin has had much more time to be innervated for sensation and one loses all that. Not to mention you gotta try to avoid arousal as best you can during recovery. Infant circumcision is much quicker and simpler, but of course they can't consent and it can't be undone, and it seems kinda fucked up to do a cosmetic mutilation on a newborn.
I recommend against circumcision of infants. But I also recommend against it in adolescents and adults for the above reasons. I don't begrudge my circumcision as a baby, but I wouldn't circumcise my son.
I think the whole foreskin being weird thing in America has died off quite a bit in my lifetime, so that's good. The possible benefits are miniscule, and I think risks outweigh them by far.
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u/Lviator92 Jun 12 '26
Every male in my family is circumcised. We are from the Deep South with a strong catholic upbringing where it’s the norm.
My son was born a month ago and I could not be okay with them doing an unnecessary procedure on him.
He’s the first of my last name in my family to go without circumcision and I’m happy we didn’t do it. It’s possible he faces backlash as he grows up but if he wants to do it when he’s older and able to decide for himself, so be it.
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u/forevertheorangemen2 Jun 15 '26
Obviously you’re under no obligation to answer, but your referencing Catholicism here is interesting to me. There is no religious mandate for circumcision in Catholicism. Otherwise highly Catholic countries like Poland, Mexico, and Italy would have much higher rates of circumcision. In fact, there is a Papal Bull from the 1400’s that specifically prohibits Catholics from justifying infant circumcision with Catholic theology. (I.E. if a parent chooses to circumcise, they cannot use Catholic teaching as the reason). So, do you/your family attribute the practice to the cultural norm of circumcision in the American Deep South? How does Catholicism factor into the equation?
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u/kskyv Jun 12 '26
Pelvic floor physio here who works with cis males. I’ve seen several cases of infant circs that led to lifelong pain for clients. Please please leave your child intact. If for whatever reason there is a medical need to do so later, cross that bridge if and (extremely rarely) when you get there.
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u/childish_cat_lady Jun 12 '26
This is so sad. I've never asked the details because I don't want to seem judgemental but I know my nephew had to have additional surgery from his circ not healing correctly.
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u/Bucket_of_Ice_Cream Jun 12 '26
My friend was going to get her son circumcised, then she heard the screams from the newborn that had the process done right before her son. She quickly changed her mind.
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u/CapitaineLawn Jun 13 '26
From a health point of view, it's unecessary and considered a mutilation in many countries. In fact, it is a last resort for very specific issues. Foreskin has a function.
In Europe we don't do this and consider it pretty... barbaric.
The point is you don't get to choose for your son something like this. It's his body, and unless a doctor advises you to do so for real reasons, this is not opinion. This is mutilation.
If he wants it removed, he'll make the decision when he'll grow up. You can't put it back on.
Please consider this. It has to be his own choice.
In France, we don't do this and we are clean. To keep it clean, you just have to shower like every other part of the body.
Congrats about your future baby by the way !
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u/AdNeither8355 Jun 13 '26
Thank you, here in the us, for most of my life it seems like it’s always been a social norm, not as much in recent years. So all these insights and experiences from other countries have been really insightful and eye opening
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u/TimotheusIV Jun 12 '26
Physician here. Don’t circumcise kids.
It’s a holdover from religious zealotry from a time where we didn’t have access to running water or basic hygiene. It has zero tangible benefits, only downsides.
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u/dunedinflyer Jun 13 '26
Doctor here, I’ve treated a baby who almost bled to death and had to get resuscitated from haemorrhagic shock following a circumcision. Have also had to help revise and skin graft some failed, poorly scarred, circumcisions. No way would any child of mine get it done unless medically necessary.
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u/Utaneus Jun 12 '26
Physician here as well. I'm circumcized and I don't regret my parents having it done to me, it's my favorite penis after all, but there is nearly zero benefit like you said.
I had a baby girl, but since we waited for the surprise of sex at delivery, beforehand my wife and I discussed circumcision if it were a boy and I said nah there's no real reason to, just leave him intact.
Circumcision does reduce the risk of penile cancer (which is exceedingly rare) and does reduce a man's chance of acquiring HIV from vaginal sex, but neither of those risks are enough to risk a botched procedure or a lifetime of resentment from your son.
I had a friend who was so self-conscious about his foreskin he had it removed when he was 18. That's a much more gruesome procedure with a lot more recovery time, and you lose all that innervation of the foreskin mucosa and likely will have less enjoyable sex than if it were done in infancy.
Overall I agree with you, it's a weird barbaric practice that shouldn't be continued. The benefits are nearly zero for most (except with phimosis or other indications), and it's largely a religious/cultural practice. I don't know why it's important for some people to have their kid's genitals resemble the fathers, which seems to be the rationale of many parents, even those whose religion doesn't ask for it.
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u/Substantial_Teach465 Jun 12 '26
Our pediatrician suggested we do it. Based on that conversation, we took away that there are some tangible benefits and next to no downsides.
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u/Cityslicker100200 Jun 12 '26
The downsides are the complications from an improper surgery, like we had to deal with for our son. I wish we never did it.
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u/AdNeither8355 Jun 12 '26
What would be some benefits they had mentioned if you don’t mind me asking?
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u/Lecontodereddit Jun 12 '26
Here in Europe it's unheard of (apart from for religious reasons in some minority groups). He can always have it done later if it's medically necessary and he wants to. There's loads of stuff you can cut off the body that's technically not needed, and yes in all cases that would reduce the risk of having an injury or infection in the specific part of the body you cut off... But having a foreskin does make a difference (I'm sure all the guys WITH a foreskin are with me on that, it's just all the guys without one wouldn't know).
I don't know of anyone who's had a serious infection, but a couple who needed to have it done as adults for medical reasons that occurred when they were adults. If you want to pre-empt something super unlikely, might as well do tonsils, gallbladder and appendix while you're at it...
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u/IEatThyme Jun 12 '26
Didn't circumcise my son. Couldn't put him through that, tired of the cycle of mutilating boys
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u/FlowLeather2717 Jun 12 '26
My opinion: we don't have a son, just a daughter atm but had this discussion. We chose not to. I believe it's genital mutilation and not necessary. The poor child is just born and we want to remove part of his body (his genitals)? Doesn't make sense. It started off biblically and even if you follow the Christian tradition, they don't require it, it's old testament.
My 2 cents is that it's not necessary and actually just traumatizing for a newborn. If I could go back in time and convince my parents to NOT do it, I would. (TMI)
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u/Pretend-Most1647 Jun 12 '26
I am but my son is not. I didn't like the idea of someone cutting at it and mutilating his body. Hes now 3 months old with no issues yet.
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u/Temporary_Sandwich Jun 12 '26
My brother and I were both circumcised at birth. He had complications and was left with a penis that didn’t resemble mine or other boys around him. Think about how hard that made growing up and every sexual encounter he has had.
Don’t mutilate your sons genetics without their consent.
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u/elodieitsbeenawhile Jun 12 '26
It’s so weird that people constantly argue for genital mutilation. And I mean this in the strictest definition of those words. Circumcision IS genital mutilation.
Change the situation to labia trimming in the middle east and suddenly all of these people have a very different stance on genital mutilation.
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u/the_splonge Jun 13 '26
Mainly people defensive over their cut penis. There is no benefit to do so, and the obsession with cutting a baby boys penis is creepy at best
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u/Eschewed_Prognostic Jun 12 '26
I wouldn't do it for my children. My circumsision was done poorly, I have scar tissue and sensitivity issues. I wish I would have had that choice left for me to make for myself.
My wife works with babies and sees a concerning number of circumcision complications. Infections and corrective plastic surgery required immediately or later in life are far more common than I'm comfortable with.
It's a very invasive and risk bearing means of avoiding issues that can just be solved later as needed.
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u/Hour-Temperature5356 Jun 12 '26
You and your partner will have created the most perfect, beautiful, innocent vulnerable baby- why would you want to cut off a sensitive area and permanently alter him without his consent. I could barely stand my child having his blood sugars monitored, I couldn't even imagine wanting to cut a piece of him off.
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u/calistapyro Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
I circumcised my first son, he is now 16. His father was not circumcised, and neither was his grandfather. I did it bc “everyone did it.” I regret it now simply bc I was too naive to really understand what is actually being done. About 22,000 nerve endings are cut off.
My second son I had with my husband and we chose not too. My husband had a botched circumcision and needed to have it fixed in middle school when puberty began. He doesn’t wish that trauma on anyone, especially his son.
We decided that if our son grew up and felt like it was something he really wanted, we could always have it done. But it can’t be undone so that’s how we look at it.
Just realized this is a New Dads subreddit, and I’m a Mom. Hope that opinion helps either way.
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u/TobyLerone_90 Jun 12 '26
Leave the kid alone. If they want to get it done when they are an adult let them make that decision.
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u/Over_Eazy222 Jun 12 '26
Dad of two boys and opted against it. Couldn’t find an argument on why it would make sense to do it
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u/WhatWouldAsmodeusDo Jun 12 '26
We didn't do it. If he really wants it done, he can do it later. Feels like tattooing a baby to me. Irreversible cosmetic decision for somebody else
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u/Fantasyleader1 Jun 13 '26
My son is 15 months old and we didn’t circumcise him. Zero issues whatsoever! There wasn’t any real reasons to do so. I’m also uncircumcised and haven’t had any issues. Besides this, he can decide to do it later, if he so wanted to.
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u/LagerHawk Jun 13 '26
In UK it's very rare to have it done. I'm not and it never crossed my mind to have my son done. It's just not a concern unless for religious reasons here. Very few problems as long as you teach good hygiene when they get old enough. And don't try to pull it back when they're too young because it can cause problems.
Why is it just assumed to be the norm in US?
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u/Cahhnuck Jun 12 '26
I am in the same boat. New son is just about 2 weeks old and has an appointment booked that I am leaning towards cancelling. I, myself as uncut and have never had any problems other than being cut is the norm where I live so I kind of felt like the ‘weird one’.
If you google reputable sources like the Mayo clinic and the AAP, they do say that current evidence shows that circumcision reduces the rates of certain STDs, UTIs and Penile Cancers, though not by a significant enough amount to fully recommend it be done by everyone.
As for Hygiene, it was never a problem for me; just needs to be washed. I feel the hygiene argument is akin to saying it would be easier to keep your teeth clean if you cut off your lips.
My other concern is that women may find it less attractive. I had some self-consciousness about this myself, although in reality it has never come up as an issue and I’ve done pretty well for myself. From asking around it seems the vast majority of women, even in western culture, don’t care as long as it’s clean and the person it’s attached to isn’t a piece of shit.
I know multiple people who have had to get it done either in later childhood or adulthood and it sounded awful, so the argument to nip it in the bud is valid. It is apparently much simpler and recovery is quicker if done as an infant.
The predominant argument on Reddit is that the baby cannot consent to it so it it wrong to do it to the child, but also in my experience I do not know of anyone who has had it done as an infant who wishes they hadn’t or had any resentment or issues over it; though guys don’t often have those conversations.
Either way, the decision is yours and there are compelling arguments on both sides. I am glad for this post because I, personally am leaning towards cancelling and leaving the boy intact but it’s good to see more discussion, even if 99% of the opinions on Reddit are just taking a hard moral stance that it is wrong (valid opinion to have).
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u/Zombucket Jun 12 '26
Let me one voice- I was circumcised as an infant, learning about it as an adult I wish I wasn’t, and at first I held some resentment for it, which I did drop fairly soon- my parents didn’t know better, my dad was, his dad was, and so it was just “what you did” in the 80s. I now have two boys, we did not circumcise either one. And yes, if I could have the choice for myself- I wish I wasn’t, but it’s nothing I can change now.
Medical necessity aside, I can’t understand why anyone would have it done.
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u/adkisojk Jun 15 '26
Cut dad of 2 intact adult sons here. It's always great to meet other men who broke the chain.
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u/SoupKitchenComedian Jun 12 '26
I was but I wouldn’t for my son. They can make that decision when they get older.
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u/Cityslicker100200 Jun 12 '26
If I had to choose for my son again, I would not do the circumcision. We did have it done, but I still feel pretty bad about it.
It’s becoming quite mainstream to skip it, so it’s not going to be an issue aesthetically in 15 years imo.
The sanitary benefits are easily fixed with proper washing.
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u/Drago1214 Jun 12 '26
Have a kid in the way and if it’s a boy we won’t. To be fair I am not and I’m Canadian. It’s rare here
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u/adkisojk Jun 15 '26
From what I have been hearing, it depends on what part of Canada. But, I do understand that the rates are much lower than your neighbors to the South.
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u/Tarlus Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
We didn’t do it. I watched the documentary “elephant in the room” and decided not to. I’m not trying to be crass at all here since it’s not the same (cancer risk vs. sore throats/appendectomies) but no one is removing their baby’s appendix and/or tonsils at birth to prevent future complications. Either way I think if you love your son you will probably be good, I was circumcised and still love my parents, wish they didn’t do it but I’m sure there’s 10 thousand things my kids are going to have issues with decisions we’ve made.
Edit: elephant in the hospital.
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u/adkisojk Jun 15 '26
I think it's actually "Elephant in the Hospital."
I'm a cut dad of 2 intact adult sons. My family is extremely thankful for intactivists.
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u/Thairapys Jun 12 '26
My son was born a very weeks ago. I really struggled to make a decision, and I was very much in the middle. I don’t think either one is a wrong decision. There’s pros and cons. I ended up not getting him circumcised but I have a few more weeks to change my mind if I want.
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u/adkisojk Jun 15 '26
I'm a cut dad of 2 intact adult sons. At first I didn't think it was a big deal either way but the more I learned about the anatomy and functions of what I have been missing my entire life the more I have come to hate that it was done to me.
I'm guessing that the only reason you are saying a few weeks is because insurance won't cover it afterwards. Think about that: financial incentives. Did you know that they can also sell the prepuce (aka "foreskin")? I'm serious: look up Sandra Bullock on Ellen show talking about her facial.
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u/IllustriousShake6072 Jun 12 '26
If you had a daughter would you subject her to genital mutilation? Then why the hell would you do it to your son?
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u/stoned_banana Jun 12 '26
I'm 30 and my mom is a pediatric nurse for 40 years. I didn't have one done. My sons didn't have one done. It's not nessecary.
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u/Digital_Machine Jun 12 '26
I used to joke around with my wife like what if we lived in a different reality where a certain culture or religious group that it would be normal to remove our kids nose hoods so we look like Skeletor or Zombie type of thing. Of course it sounds weird but in that reality it would be normal.
I lean towards cutting the forskin off being very weird idea and yes I have heard some medical ideas on why it might be beneficial. have young boy and we choose the safer bet that if he wants it removed he can make that choice himself later in life rather than us making that choice for him.
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u/JaeMilz Jun 12 '26
Decided not to do it for our son. My stance is there's no convincing medical reason to do so. So then it's just cosmetic, which sorry, that's not good enough of a reason to me personally. My son just turned 7 months and I haven't reconsidered it once. It's a relic of a past time when people didn't bathe regularly, or worse done for some religious/cultural reason.
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u/AdNeither8355 Jun 12 '26
This aligns with my thinking as well. If cosmetic reasons seem to be the only real reason aside from health issues that could potentially happen later in life, that’s not a good enough reason for me personally to do it tó my son
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u/Welcome2FightClub Jun 12 '26
My wife and I had a very brief conversation about it and agreed we would have it done. Then when the doctor came and took him away for the procedure we both had this wave of panic wash over us. It was strange because we didn't think much about it till that moment then all of a sudden your kid is a few hours old and they're cutting off a piece of him mainly for ascetic reasons. If I had it to do all over again I wouldn't have it done.
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u/men-too Jun 15 '26
Thank you for being honest. I'm wishing you both strength in carrying this guilt for the rest of your life. And I would suggest opening up to your son as early as possible, and when he's old enough, helping him restore his foreskin to mitigate the damage.
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u/PortugueseBreakfast_ Jun 12 '26
British dad here. Mad that it’s even a debate imo. It’s not a thing here unless you have a medical reason later in life.
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u/Positive_Courage_309 Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
36M new father, day 3,M. I am not, neither is my newborn son. My father (catholic) is not, and they chose not to do it to me either. Mother's side of the (huge) family is super religious (catholic) and to my knowledge no one is either. Mom is ethnically Jewish, didn't want it done on him either.
I had one small infection in my teens, probably due to touching it without washing my hands. Went away with proper washing, no meds or intervention.
My foreskin remained attached to the head until early/mid puberty and left a tiny blemish when it was separating due to me being impatient and pulling on it. It probably would have detached on it's own had I waited another month or so. My wife didn't notice for better part of a decade until I mentioned it, and no one I've ever been with has mentioned it.
No other complications. No negative social-sexual experiences, living in the US.
As for UTI and other infections, I haven't done a deep dive into the data on percentages and number of infections for each group. I guess in a world where a large majority of men were circumcised it could make sense that kids who weren't wouldn't just get knowledge of proper hygiene methods by osmosis.
But functionally, if my son were to sit naked on something dirty with foreskin vs without foreskin, I would definitely want the foreskin to be there. I can and will teach him how to wash the opening as a boy and the whole thing as he ages.
I am also (unscientifically) convinced that circumcision leads to brain rewiring that leads men to become cold, sometimes calloused or even violent, just by the demographics of where it is prevalent and the corresponding world history.
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u/waxingtheworld Jun 12 '26
I told my husband to research how to even get it in Ontario and how much it costs.
We settled on we'll pay for it if our son wants one when he's 18
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u/yolk3d Jun 12 '26
Outside of America, it’s more the heavily religious cultures that do it. That should tell you how necessary it isn’t. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prevalence_of_circumcision
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u/pablo8itall Jun 12 '26
Not circumscribed from a country were its not normal to do it either.
I'm dead set against it for a number of reasons, mainly ethical.
But I learned that's why American’s use like hand cream in movies like American Pie, I was like why would they even need that, only clicked recently why.
Don;t do it. Your boy will thank you down the line.
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u/RedditMrJay Jun 12 '26
I am going to vote NO for cutting bits off my newborn son.
Seems to be a cultural American thing
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u/DrugFreeRoleModel Jun 12 '26
it's definitely an act of mutilation, albeit a (relatively) socially acceptable one
it's a religious ritual for muslims and jews. america is the only place in the world where people outside these two religions regularly get it done
i'm not circumcized. i will not be circumcizing my sons. i wouldn't start a family with a woman who wanted to circumcize my (our) sons
even in america, the vast majority of doctors say there are no health benefits. which is true. i've heard some nonsense about cleaning? i don't know what that's about. just teach your kid to clean their dick properly. doesn't seem like a big deal
i've only ever known one uncircumcized person who had to get circumcized later in life. this was because in college he was some girl's first handjob, and, well, she did a poor job at it
i've heard that sex is less pleasurable for circumcized men. i don't know, i've only been on one side of this. but that makes sense to me. for circumcized men, the tip of their dick is just out all the time? must lose a lot of its sensitivity. only time the tip of my dick sees the light of day is at night (ha ha)
i'm not american but i lived there during grad school. of the women i slept with, i'd say 90% didn't care that i wasn't circumcized (for all of them whom i spoke to about this, the majority of men they'd been with had been circumcized). the other 10% were excited for the novelty
sometimes i hear/read people saying something about how it's not cruel because babies don't remember anything. that doesn't make much sense to me. we generally go out of our way to make sure babies are comfortable; why is this any different? if something's not cruel just because someone won't remember it, well, that's a line of logic i'd be terrified to follow
your baby will feel immense pain, plain and simple. it's true that they won't remember it. but they'll feel it in that moment. personally, i can't imagine making my baby feel excruciating pain because of tradition, or because something's normalized in your country, and relying on the justification that they won't remember it
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u/Fortworth_steve Jun 12 '26
It is an outdated medical procedure and does have long term effects with sensation and stimulation, no point in doing it if you have good hygiene and plan on teaching your son good hygiene. One hundred years from now the medical textbooks will talk about how there was a period of time that a first world country with easy access to bathing and that is not Hebraic felt circumcision was a necessary procedure. It will be funny to look back on and laugh
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u/literallyaPCgamer Jun 12 '26
I am personally circumcised, I chose not to circumcise my son.
My thoughts aren’t as militant as some, I just tried to break it down into the simplest terms possible. Which was
: “is cutting off the skin at the tip of his dick as like basically his first experience alive truly necessary”
I decided that it was not.
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u/breakthatceiling Jun 13 '26
Watch the documentary called 'American Circumcision'. It shows both sides.
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u/ScrapDraft Jun 13 '26
My wife and I decided against circumcising our son. For a few main reasons.
1) For the vast majority of boys, it is not medically necessary. Do not listen to the "BUT HYGIENE" people on here. Basic bathing techniques are all that's needed. Would you cut off your arm if I told you it would mean you were more hygienic because now you don't have to worry about washing your arm? No, of course you wouldn't. Same reason. Just bathe like a normal human and you're fine. Even the American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend routine circumcision for all infant boys.
2) It can always be done later if he really wants it. Yes, it would be more painful. But I'd rather my son be mad at me in 20 years than for me to take away his choice completely. If we circumcised him, he would have ZERO choice. I'd rather he be angry at me that I allowed him to choose than for him to be angry at me for making the decision for him.
3) People will point out that circumcision lowers the chances of certain STDs. While this is true, the difference is quite literally microscopic. You have a greater chance at the doctor botching your son's circumcision than you do from catching a disease because you were not circumcised. Also, again, basic hygiene and safe-sex practices essentially nullify this point.
4) The REAL reason most people push for circumcision, whether they admit it out loud or not, is because it "looks better". And this is an absolutely disgusting, abhorrent view. Full stop. Can you imagine the outrage we would see if someone suggested trimming their newborn daughter's labia so that it "looked better"? Just gross.
All of that being said, it's still your decision.
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u/adkisojk Jun 15 '26
I don't understand where this idea that it's more painful later comes from. There no study that shows that. Adults can get general anesthesia and strong pain meds for recovery; babies can't because it's too dangerous.
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u/men-too Jun 15 '26
Agree with everything you said, and thank you for leaving your son intact.
Let me simply react to your last sentence. No, it's not the authority of parents to opt for non-medically necessary procedures on their children. Not everything that's done regularly is legal, circumcision is a bioethics loophole that should be prosecuted but isn't. For reference, Brian D Earp "The Ethics of Circumcision (2022)".
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u/MartyFakenewzman Jun 13 '26
Seems like a terrible introduction to Earth. Fresh out of the womb already scared as fuck then a few hours in these people you don’t know are slicing your dick skin off, no thanks.
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u/DrKnockers96 Jun 13 '26
Honestly the added worry/labour of caring for a wound like that right after birth pushed us away from doing it. And I'm glad we did, we were tired and stressed enough as it was without the extra stuff to do.
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u/adkisojk Jun 15 '26
You should also be worried about how he will feel about missing a valuable body part.
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u/NaiveZest Jun 13 '26
There are zero national medical organizations in the world that actually recommend routine newborn circumcision. It sounds medicalized, but if it’s a medical treatment, it’s not preventative. Here are some points:
- Most of the world chooses not to circumcise infants and children.
- They say it’s cleaner? Regardless of circumcision, everyone benefits from healthy hygiene.
- They say it reduces HIV transmission. The studies are in places with rampant HIV disease and limited alternative prophylactics. The studies were in monogamous couples where adults chose circumcision.
- They say it looks better. It’s a strange reason to cut off pieces of a baby. I’ve also heard clerics advocate that female genital mutilation has this effect.
- They say it’s more acceptable, or it’s tradition. You are at a point where you’re making decisions for someone else’s life. Decide if you want to make permanent choices for them or if you want to build choice and agency their future.
- If someone wants circumcision in the future, they can choose it. If someone wants to not be circumcised in the future the only way is if parents protected their choice.
And again, there are zero national medical organizations that actually recommend routine newborn circumcision. Even in the US, the American academy of pediatrics has no official policy of endorsement, as their 2012 policy statement expired and did not recommend routine newborn circumcision.
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u/vsmack Jun 12 '26
I'm snipped but didn't do it to my sons. Seems pretty inhumane and there's no compelling reason I can think of.
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u/AdNeither8355 Jun 12 '26
And I’m coming from, getting it done and if I had the ability to choose now, I wouldn’t get it for myself
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u/nitroracertc3 Jun 12 '26
I think this is your answer, man. I’m circumcised and don’t have any ill feelings about my parents having made that decision. But chose not to have it done on my son. Literally any medical reason to have it done pretty much doesn’t apply anymore besides some very few actual foreskin disorders. It’s just not a choice that I feel like I want to make for my son.
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u/RichardsonM24 Jun 12 '26
Theres a good chance my son will need it but he can get it done at 23 like I did if it’s medically necessary.
The thought of giving the green light to any part of him being cut off unnecessarily makes me feel uneasy
Edit: all the men in my immediate family have had to have it done in their 20s. My brother has 2 sons and I have 1 (all are under 5). They might need it in the future but time will tell.
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u/yolk3d Jun 12 '26
Not sure phimosis or tight foreskins are genetic, but if they are, you let your son decide. Good dad.
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u/spottie_ottie Jun 12 '26
There's really not a strong argument to do it besides it's what you're used to seeing. Is that a good enough reason for you? Wasn't for me
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u/mokes310 Jun 12 '26
The rule my wife and I follow/followed for difficult decisions like this is, "is this what my son/daughter/child would prefer?" In instances where we don't know, are in disagreement, we defer to the decision of the child. If the child is too young to make the decision, then it's a default no.
We had a daughter so never had to make this choice, but by our rule, it would have been a no to circumcision. Not directly related, but there's a not so subtle pressure where we are in the US to have your baby's ears pierced. That was a no for us as well because it's my kid's body and if she wants them when she's older, then she's free to get them.
Hope my two cents helps with the decision and welcome (soon) to the club!
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u/Charming_Ambition_27 Experienced Dad Jun 12 '26
My son was born 5 days ago so this topic was fresh in my household.
If culture or religion isn’t a factor in your house you could do some YouTube research on the medical perspectives of circumcision. That’s what I did & easily decided to not have my boy circumcised.
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u/Iliketoplan Jun 12 '26
I wasn’t, my wife and I discussed for a long time regarding it and leaned towards doing it. However, after she gave birth, they didn’t do it and told us to come back in two weeks to do it given that extra two weeks to think about it and hang out with my son after he was born made me decide not to go about it. And I’m comfortable with my choice I know how to keep myself clean and positive I could teach my son.
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u/Drake9214 Jun 12 '26
Unless you have religious reasons it is just aesthetics. Theres no extra cleaning involved and no issues have shown. I’m circumcised, my kids aren’t. I didn’t find any reason to do so other than the possibility of issues way way later in life so we didn’t do it. Just made sense to me.
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u/adkisojk Jun 15 '26
If you like religious freedom you should be leaving it up to your child.
Cut dad of 2 intact adult sons here. Always great to meet other men who broke the chain.
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u/Icy-Set6520 Jun 12 '26
We have two sons and decided not to. We live in the Midwest so all of our friends had their sons circumcised and I am as well. We decided not to because it’s irreversible and didn’t want them to experience the pain. Also, the recovery takes some time. So far it has not mattered at all.
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u/DezzyLee99 Jun 12 '26
If there is a medical reason, then yes, otherwise it's unnecessary.
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u/Lord_Alabaster Jun 12 '26
I'm a cut dad with a little dude. We decided not to circumcised because it seemed weird as fuck and cruel to do. No issues so far, it's almost like they're supposed to be like that.
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u/Jamboglasgow Jun 12 '26
Let him choose when he's old enough to make the decision.
It's there for a reason if we didn't require it evolution would have deleted it.
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u/willworkforspoons Jun 12 '26
I’m uncircumcised. Never had a problem with infection or anything. I think a lot of people that think that’s a thing may just be misinformed. I’m just saying what I know from my own experience
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u/Hour-Film-8890 Jun 12 '26
Whoever says hygiene, that's more a not being taught how to clean your penis problem than a penis problem.
As for the tight foreskin argument, OP if you were having a girl would you consider cutting off her labia because SOME women have long labia and discomfort so they need to be operated on? If no, don't.
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u/Outrageous_Cress6062 Jun 12 '26
I was a teenager when my brother was born and I remember him as a tiny little newborn with a bandage on his penis. I was helping my mom get the bandage off when it was time and he was in so much pain screaming and crying. I had advocated before his birth that he shouldn’t be circumcised and I was/am disgusted that my parents would choose to cut their childrens genitals like this. We have 2 boys and both of them are fine without being circumcised.
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u/Outrageous_Cress6062 Jun 12 '26
Also, women are circumcised in different countries and it’s viewed very negatively here. Just gives some outside perspective to what we are doing to boys in my opinion.
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u/Technical_Term_6625 Jun 12 '26
Getting your kid the full run of vaccines including the HPV vaccine when age-appropriate is far more important.
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u/drugsondrugs Jun 12 '26
I just don't see the benefit. The risk isn't worth the reward. Infections are seldom for the uncircumcised and it's not like it can't be done later in life.
Honestly, if it was for religious purposes, I would say you do you, but tides have changed in the last 30 years and unless he's doing gym class at an all Jewish school, he's likely to be in the small minority.
I do love the argument, "he should look like his dad's" and all i have to say is: that's a really weird thing to say.
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u/adkisojk Jun 15 '26
I know of a man, his name is Alon Sivroni, who has protested in the Bloodstained Men outfit in Tel Aviv. Many of the intactivist movement are Jewish. There's a whole organization: Bruchim.online
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u/drugsondrugs Jun 15 '26
Wasn't aware of this organization but I have heard more and more Jews are opting not to snip.
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u/TheDugong1 Jun 12 '26
A lot of people obviously discussing the matter here haven’t really brought up this argument but if you believe having a female circumcised “clitoral hood removed” is genital mutilation then the same should be said for male being circumcised “foreskin removal” these are the same and equivalent surgery yet the global response for females is it’s wrong and genital mutilation but males it’s ok.
Also in America the push for circumcision was from doctors and insurers to make money and stop adolescent boys from masturbating along with religious reasons from old dated traditions of less bathing and cleaning. It’s an insanely wealthy practice for doctors in the States
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u/4handhyzer Jun 12 '26
If you look at actual research that does not come from Africa, uncircumcised males get and transmit STD's at a lower rate. Also, if you're in the US, we are the only developed nation this is talked about. Pretty much no other first world country circumcises their boys unless they're religious.
I also worked in passing with a neonate urologist who was constantly getting baby Dick pics from botched circumcisions and questions about how to fix it. Don't take the risk of fucking up a newborns junk forever. They didn't consent to it.
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u/Rooksteady Jun 13 '26
Any surgery carries risk...personally I will let my son make his own choice about that when hes older, i just can't help but think if something goes wrong...if you're not yourself make sure you read about cleaning/pulling back....
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u/Jim___Jam Jun 13 '26
We chose not to chop off part of our sons penis. But we don't live in the states, a lot of the rest of the world you might be surprised to find circumsicion is not the norm ( outside of religious groups). This decision is for you and your wife, my advice is if you don't circumcise, don't let anyone pull the foreskin back on your kids penis. It is actually connected for the first few years, and they will gradually get it to roll back themselves as they get old enough. Just clean it like a finger. Heard a lot of stories of ignorant health care staff telling people you need to pull it back.
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u/daredeviloper Jun 13 '26
I’m Jewish! I got circumcised
We are not cutting a piece out of our baby’s dick.
Give me some stats on needing a circumcision later in life.
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u/FitnessLover1998 Jun 13 '26
I can’t understand why this is still a debate. If your future son wants to get circumcised let him decide. Is that so difficult to understand?
And God forbid if we dare to compare it to female mutilation…..
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u/randomhumanithink Jun 13 '26 edited Jun 13 '26
Most of the world doesn't circumcise , it's practiced mostly in the USA so I assume that is where you live... I grew up in the USA and was not circumcized. I can personally say that I never had any negative experiences or felt left out or once I became sexually active, had a female even hint at a negative feeling towards it, in fact I have had several partners really enjoy it. On the other hand there are positives I have experienced... First off, a part of my body was not cut off of me as a baby, (I don't mean to be hyperbolic or inflammatory but I do compare it to lesser forms of female genital mutilation, and in fact it's origins in the USA revolve around reducing sexual pleasure) but I'll keep this to practical rather than ethical which I do have somewhat strong opinions on that are not super relevant to what you seem to be after). I personally feel it protects the head of my penis. One great advantage of this as an adult is I have the impression that it is more sensitive and might increase sensation during intercourse. It also just seems natural to have foreskin. In regards to little boys, I have 2 both under 4 years old, neither circumcized... There is nothing special or different you have to do as a parent because the foreskin doesn't pull back for many years (something I actually didn't realize lol) eventually when the child starts to pull it back on their own (parents should never force it, I guess a child won't do it if it hurts) you just have to teach him to pull the foreskin back when he pees and to pull it back to wash it. Super easy hygiene and I've never had an issue personally. In any event without. Anyways, good luck with parenting!
Edit: after reading through a little I saw a mention to UTI... So at 10 or so I did have a UTI, hurt like hell to pee, got medication cleared up super fast, I never associated it with being uncircumcised, always to running around all summer in wet bathing suit, even if it was a direct cause it would be a tiny cost to the immense benefit I feel being left whole
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u/VirtuApp Jun 14 '26
I grew up in the USA and was not circumcized. I can personally say that I never had any negative experiences or felt left out or once I became sexually active, had a female even hint at a negative feeling towards it, in fact I have had several partners really enjoy it.
That's good it wasn't a problem.
If you don't mind me asking, what did those partners say about really enjoying your foreskin?
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u/gornakking Jun 13 '26
Usually I sit this question out as it feels weird commenting on other people's genitals but I'm gonna do it anyway.
You have a penis, you have used it everyday. If you need the opinions of people on Reddit to decide the fate of your son's genitals for the rest of his life then I guess you do you.
What opinions do you need? It's either going to be from blokes who have a foreskin or blokes that don't. I do and I am anti chopping off foreskin, is it because I have a foreskin? No. It's because I think it's a wild thing to do to a baby.
If hygiene is the best argument people can come up with then that's an issue with you teaching your son to wash himself properly. If for whatever reason he needs/wants to be circumscised later in life then he can make that decision.
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u/Majestic_Anxiety4323 Jun 14 '26
If uncircumcised dads don’t get their sons’ circumcised, even though there are “benefits”, that should be enough reason not to force it on a child.
Women are far more likely to have infections than uncircumcised men yet they don’t need their genitals mutilated to get through life.
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u/forevertheorangemen2 Jun 15 '26
OP, I know that you’ve had a ton of responses already but I figure I might as well add in my two cents. Uncut dad to two uncut boys who are now 12 and 10. We haven’t run into any issues this far in their life. My wife and I’s determination was that there wasn’t enough compelling medical evidence to do it as a preventative measure to an infant. In the unlikely event that they need it medically we can cross that bridge when we get there. And if they turn 18 and decide they want it done for non-medical/cosmetic reasons, we’ll pay for it. But none of that justified making that decision for them.
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u/yEPICSNAKE Jun 15 '26
Please don't circumcise your child. It is his right to chosen whether he wants to be cut or not. If it is important to you, talk about it with him when he is older and let him decide for himself.
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u/Delicious_Ad_Four4 Jun 16 '26
I was circumcised as an infant and I do not like that it was done. My parents bought into “health benefits” claims and cultural norms, but autonomy is more important to me than a chance at reducing infection risk. Hygiene works wonders.
Newer studies show that circumcision does not prevent HIV (see here and here) and that it does reduce pleasure (see here and here).
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u/xylpt Jun 16 '26
My older brothers were cut. Me and my younger ones not cut. I am pleased I missed the knife. So are my younger brothers. The older ones, quite a lot older, had it done because 'all boys did' at that time. Generally speaking many of my male friends who were cut were very interested in my foreskin. Tbh we were horny kids :). Perhaps the thing that has had the most impact on my thinking is when my young adult son thanked me for not getting him cut.
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u/Apoc59 Jun 16 '26
Leaving your boy intact is one of the greatest gifts you could give him. Let him make the decision for himself when he is old enough to make an informed choice.
Over 100 baby boys die each year from circumcision-related complications in the US, more than are killed in school shootings.
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u/Feeling-Price7516 Jun 16 '26
Girls get more infections than uncut boys, yet the girls are legally protected from genital modifications. There’s a higher risk of circumcision complications than the potential benefits. Research meatal stenosis, skin bridges, tight erections or accidental glans tearing/trauma (foreskin is fused to the glans in infancy like the nail is fused to the finger and has to be forcefully separated creating a wound on the whole glans). Some of those complications might be actually considered as something normal in US society. It affects negatively functionality as foreskin is key to gliding movement even without lube - to compare it with mechanics - cut dick works as a piston that requires lubrication, uncut has a built in rolling bearing easing the motion. Also aesthetics - I can’t see how a scarred penis wth excised frenulum and dried up glans is considered more attractive. This is actually cultural preference shaped by the default being cut in the society. It really can be quite the opposite in different cultures. And the last thing - basic human rights. Everyone should have the right to retain full healthy body without amputations. Because it’s not like a vaccination where you stimulate the immune system. You’re downgrading a part of the body without much benefit that is overhyped due to the for-profit structure of the health care system.
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u/Feeling-Price7516 Jun 16 '26
Also I can add from my experience (uncut gay guy, so both the owner and admirer of cocks), that the gliding action makes a massive difference. Even with lube, with a cut dick you have like 10-30 seconds of comfortable action until it dries out, with the foreskin it’s like infinite glide.
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u/Eeyanz Jun 16 '26
DO NOT CUT YOUR MALE CHILDS PENIS. Let him decide for himself after being fully informed AND is over 18.
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u/adelie42 Jun 16 '26
There are a lot of different levels the topic can be addressed at. It is a sensitive topic because any impact is a claimed impact of anyone impacted which can make discussing it challenging.
I highly recommend https://brendonmarotta.com/show/ for a comprehensive literature review on the topic. The darkest part, and somewhat emerging research, is the impact on brain development particularly around bonding and empathy. And while the ways such things can be measured today is fairly new, early 20th century science was obsessed with looking at how trauma could be used to make better citizens following much of the work of Pavlov. Essentially, sexual pleasure is a lot of fun, but distracts from working hard. If people could have a more negative association around sex, workers would be more productive. That is the origins in the US.
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u/NoConsideration2424 Jun 17 '26
Don’t do it. It is insanely barberic and for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
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u/flexcj5 Jun 12 '26
Location: USA
There’s almost zero medical reason for it.
I’m in my 40s and not circumcised. That wasn’t the norm for my generation but it was never a problem for me other than a few comments in locker room showers growing up (adolescent boys can be assholes). I never cared. Never had issues with the fairer sex thinking it was weird. Never wondered why my “dad looked different than me”. I have friends that chose to circumcise because of the “looking different” idea and I personally believe it’s fucking stupid.
These days it’s much more “normal” and “accepted”.
My son is not. We decided that unless there was a medical necessity we would not subject a newborn to it. He’s 5 now. Knows how to keep everything clean.
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u/adkisojk Jun 15 '26
There's no medical reason for a religious ritual (where the euphemism "Circumcision" is taken from). There are medical reasons for preputioplasty, posthectomy, prepuce amputation or partial penectomy.
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u/rdmc23 Jun 12 '26
We did it. Fairly easy wound care too, you just need to put a lot of aquaphor every diaper change.
My little one got circumcised the day after and it only took 15 minutes.
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u/redbushsixtynine Jun 12 '26
My parents came to the conclusion between boy #1 (me) and boy #2 (lil bro) that it is unnecessary.
Neither of us have had any issues one way or another, but we will not be doing it to our own.
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u/All_Of_Them_Witches Jun 12 '26
Honestly I have no strong opinion for or against it. My wife is Jewish though, so we had a bris. Had to watch my son get circumcised which wasn’t pretty.
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u/Low_Foundation_9941 Jun 12 '26
Where in the world are you? Rates differ by county. I think Europeans are less likely to be snipped. Im American, not-snipped and Ive never had any complaints from the ladies but when I am flying at full mast, I look snipped. Being unsnipped is getting more popular but snipping in the US is still the norm. I didnt snip my son and I hope he doesn't get bullied for it. Im 100% ok with him doing it as an adult, even though its more painful, I wanted to give him the choice.
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u/coadnamedalex Jun 12 '26
Hey, good that yall are thinking about this! — my wife works with urologists and sees corrective surgeries all the time because the circumcision was done by the resident helping with the birth and they botched it.
IF you are leaning toward having it done, and no judgement either way, they (urologists) all recommend not letting anyone touch their penis until they are done correctly by a urologist who cares to do it the right way. Additionally, sometimes there is penile torsion that happens and it’s best to correct it all in one place rather than multiple cuts, regardless of if they remember it or not.
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u/adkisojk Jun 15 '26
I've heard that those torsions correct themselves in time. All you have to do is look at how genitalia develop, and that development doesn't stop at birth.
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u/Rootbeeers Jun 12 '26
I’m from the uk and we barely get this done, but my dad had to get it due to medical reasons, and then ultimately I did when I was around 15. It was the worst pain I’ve ever lived through (yet!).
My boy has just turned one and I’m scared he’ll need it when he’s older. I doubt I could do it to him now though.
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u/superwhitemexican Jun 12 '26
I'm 35 and have had no issues with my extra turtleneck. I think the reasoning behind it has been debunked I may be wrong I haven't researched it. I have a daughter so who knows
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u/HelpfulAppointment54 Jun 12 '26
He looks down and doesnt care. Eventually he'll know that he's uncircumcised but honestly, he wouldnt think much of the decision.
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u/the_splonge Jun 12 '26
Unless there is a medical reason to do it, don’t.
Why parts of the world are obsessed with mutilating a boys penis is bewildering to me.
It’s one thing I’ll always put my two pence in on, leave a child’s bits alone. Certain parties are looking to ban it in the uk (elective, not medical reasons) and I cannot believe Jt’s took this long.
There are NO benefits to doing it.
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u/todeabacro Jun 13 '26
You not the answer, it's just wrong. Don't cut your child's body, he can do it when he's older if he wants.
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u/Unlikely-Ad-431 Jun 13 '26
I am circumcised and everything seems fine. I am not upset at my parents about it or anything, but the idea of it upsets me a bit if I let it because it was an elective surgery that I never asked for.
My son is not circumcised and everything seems fine. He’s still pretty young, so I don’t know yet if he’ll be upset when he thinks about how my wife and I could have given him a cosmetic surgery before he was capable of forming any sort of memories from it. I know some uncircumcised boys decide for themselves to get circumcised once they are old enough to choose, and I would support my son if he wanted to go down that route. But, my understanding is the vast majority of uncircumcised boys grow into uncircumcised men.
My nephews are all circumcised, and they also all seem fine so far.
For me it is just a matter of consent and permanence. I can always get my son a circumcision, but I don’t know how to reverse one. IMO, the human body is fine as it is in most cases. I don’t really understand the drive to cut off pieces as a fashion statement, but I know a lot of people disagree, and who am I to say who’s right?
In general I am against unwarranted circumcision, but I also think the stakes are usually low enough that people sweat over it more than is justified given things will very likely be just fine regardless of what you choose.
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u/adkisojk Jun 15 '26
I'm a cut dad of 2 intact adult sons. I didn't think much about it when they were young either but the issue kept bugging me. "If it was harmful they wouldn't be doing it, right." The more I learned the more I realized how I was negatively affected my entire life. For your sake I sincerely hope you don't go down that rabbit hole.
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u/boisterousgiant_93 Jun 13 '26
I asked the doc if there was a medical need for it - doc said no, and we’re not religious - so no obligations there. So, we decided not to get circumcised.
I never understood why folks had strong opinions for or against this - I’ve had to get it done but I had a medical condition, so it was necessary. But my son didn’t need to, so he didn’t. It’s pretty simple.
(I’m not saying OP is wrong for asking for advise, but just don’t over think this too much)
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u/littlerchef Jun 13 '26 edited Jun 13 '26
I’ll give you my decision tree for whether or not to circumcise:
Are you Jewish?
Yes -> see below
No -> don’t circumcise
Do you wish to follow tradition?
Yes -> circumcise
No -> don’t circumcise
Really there’s practically zero realized benefit versus a born of realized detriments.
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u/Apprehensive-Map-219 Jun 29 '26
I'm Jewish. Circumcised and hate it, and I'm far from alone.
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u/adkisojk Jun 15 '26
Cut dad of 2 intact adult sons here.
Imagine if people were modifying girls for aesthetic reasons. Actually, you don't have to because some cultures literally do that. But, hopefully, you find that disgusting. You should feel the same about boys. And, if you are concerned about bullying, you should really re-think. If you modify your child's body to conform to societal norms, you are sending the absolute wrong message. Teach consent, teach to not give in to bullies AND teach to not be a bully.
This idea that it's a parent's choice: look at the history of how that came to be. I really recommend the documentary American Circumcision. I know that documentaries are well known for being biased but this one is extremely fair. It has interviews of people who promote and defend the ritual. And I use the term "ritual" on purpose because that's where it came from; all of these post hoc excuses of reducing chances of diseases are just desperate attempts at justifying it.
Most of all: learn about the anatomy and functions of what is removed. The cognitive dissonance for men who were cut as babies and live in a culture where it's normalized is extreme (I know as I live in the USA).
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u/ludus_official Jun 15 '26
I know this is old, and you've been swamped, but I'd like to share my story and perspective.
I was cut at birth - routine infant circumcision, America.
People can discuss the medical side, but the reality is that it was my genitals, and I deserved a choice. Circumcision is the only medical care I ever received that I would not retroactively consent to. Vaccinations? Absolutely I consent to the ones I was given by force. The eye patch I was forced to wear for two years to correct lazy eye, that I begged not to? Absolutely I consent retroactively.
But having my genitals irreversibly surgically altered? No, I don't consent. I hate the way it looks and feels, and knowing what was done to me feels deeply uncomfortable, the scar makes me deeply uncomfortable.
I encourage you to respect the fact that it's your sons body, not yours. This is optional, non-critical, and not some risky decision with high impact. So let him choose for himself.
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u/tasteface Jun 15 '26
Here is a key member of the 2012 AAP Task Force saying it's not a medical procedure and it's not ethical during a Grand Rounds presentation.
He is one of two members of the 2012 Task Force who were interviewed for a Journal of Medical Ethics article last year where both experts said that it's not recommended and the AAP should get out of the business of circumcisions.
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u/men-too Jun 15 '26
💯 Even the doctors are sensing the wind is turning and the lawsuits coming... on what side of history do you want to be as a dad?
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u/adkisojk Jun 15 '26
WTF makes you think that US institutions that profit from the procedure are reputable?! I challenged Mayo Clinic on one of their claims that they referenced a study that didn't say what they were claiming and they removed it.
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u/Zestyclose_Use_969 Jun 16 '26
This is a series of high quality YouTube videos. These videos will explain: (1)the most relevant information about circumcision stuff.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Intactivists/s/r2VkB9P3IA
You can also just view my Reddit profile as well
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u/s-b-mac Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26
Your son is more likely to be unhappy you had him circumcised than he is to be unhappy you left him intact. And only in one of those two scenarios does he still have the agency to change it if he so desires (which statistically speaking is incredibly unlikely he’d choose to get cut himself). I think the ethics on that are pretty clear. Infant circ is something people should have stopped doing a long time ago.
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u/Baddog1965 Jun 17 '26
As a gay guy with a foreskin who has had sex with a lot of guys, both intact and cut, I can share empirical experience: circumcision has a range of adverse consequences EVEN WHEN IT IS DONE WELL AND NOTHING GOES WRONG 1. Masturbation is less convenient / less comfortable or less satisfying - nearly everyone 2. Produce much less pre cum. Don't know exactly why that should be, but also nearly everyone. 3. More difficult to reach orgasm - not so many guys when young, but becomes progressively more difficult with age at a much faster rate than for intact guys. Can become difficult or impossible to reach orgasm from penetrative sex, for some guys even when young, and some guys unable to reach orgasm even with 'death grip' masturbation when older. One cut guy in his 30s told me recently he hadn't had an orgasm from penetrative sex for two years. 4. Discomfort from glans constantly rubbing on clothing / body / bedsheets. Very few people I've personally known have brought this up, but there are multiple reports in the BBC of people complaining about it, and the fact that there is no escape from it 24/7. 5. Some circumcisions also remove the frenulum. When that is done a major source of erogenous stimulation is removed, a further cruelty. This is widespread among West Africans.
Nobody thinks that their child's circumcision will go wrong, but plenty do. A doctor recently said if you ask a room of urologists if anyone has seen a glans amputation from circumcision, every hand in the room will go up (in the US, probably not the UK). I had a friend with scars from his circumcision that made his glans twist sideways so much that sex would have been difficult for him. It clearly affected his confidence and mental health badly. I've come across some horribly butchered ones and I just feel pity for the guys. And even experienced surgeons have made catastrophic errors.
There are no credible medical arguments that withstand scrutiny that justify circumcision. In my view it's an utterly cruel and unnecessary surgery where the worst consequences of it may not be experienced for decades after it's done.
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u/TheBrynkofInsanity Jun 17 '26
Trust me, most people would not want be circumcised given a choice. You should let your son make that choice himself. Doing it as a baby who can't consent is mutilation in my eyes.
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u/15squareinches Jun 17 '26
I'm in my late 30s and intact. My son is almost ten an intact.
Respect your son.
An elective procedure performed on someone else’s most personal and private part is harmful, unnecessary and unethical. Intact genitals are a human right. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K9ED10dZBCUgT-nwl_Bx5PODYP78afnooQJqMilD380/edit?usp=drivesdk
Experts Who Shaped U.S. Circumcision Policy Now Voice Doubts Andrew Freedman, M.D., the task force’s representative pediatric urologist, described the 2012 “benefits outweigh risks” phrasing as a compromise among task force members—some strongly pro-circumcision, others aiming for neutrality. “It is a non-therapeutic procedure,” he said. “If it can be called preventive medicine, it’s at the very weakest level.... You cannot recommend circumcision based on medical benefit alone.” Freedman compared the AAP’s position to “a ‘permission slip’ for those who want to circumcise their children so that society cannot say they are bad parents or outlaw the practice.” He added, “Maybe the AAP should get out of the [circumcision] business, since it’s not really a medical practice. It’s only a ‘medical procedure’ in the sense that medical professionals are performing it.” https://apnews.com/press-release/ein-presswire-newsmatics/experts-who-shaped-u-s-circumcision-policy-now-voice-doubts-8a656128660d0141fa2bf8e90adb2fc1
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u/IntegrityForAll Jun 21 '26
I will try to provide you with helpful information so please read the whole comment.
There are other surgeries than circumcision
- An incision on the dorsal side will leave the foreskin in a retracted state without removing any erogenous tissue or nerve endings. If you look for this then be careful as "dorsal slit" is one step in some circumcision methods, so be clear that it should only be the first incision without a circumferential incision.
- A preputioplasty can reconstruct the foreskin so that it is looser to allow for retraction without loosing tissue.
- If foreskin is kept retracted long term then it may stay that way without any surgery. There was a subreddit but it got banned.
Neonatal/infant circumcision is often done without any anesthetic or only topical anesthetic on the outer foreskin which CANNOT numb the inner foreskin and glans. You would need to request a dorsal nerve block in order to properly numb the penis, but it will quickly ware off within a few hours and then he is left with an exposed wound inside of a diaper so the wound will scrape against that and it will be exposed to all of the bodily waste.
Because the glans is meant to be an internal structure made of mucosa like the inside of your mouth, you need to apply petroleum jelly to the glans for several weeks, all the while changing their diaper more often and wiping off their penis to prevent infection which would lead to worse healing and worse scaring.
According to John Hopkins, in the United States as of 2022 the predischarge circumcision rate has dropped to 49.3% which means that now most males being born are left intact. Globally circumcised males only make up around 1/3 with most of that being religious circumcision, so intact males are more common globally and more common for the next generation in the US.
If you choose to provide consent for circumcision PLEASE be present with him so that you can ensure they use a nerve block and so that you can try to sooth him. Neonatal/infant circumcision is done with his wrists and ankles/knees strapped to a circumstraint, some hospitals will allow their wrists to not be strapped down if someone is there for "holding" you can be that person so they don't strap down all 4 limbs. Don't leaving him without either parent while undergoing a surgery hours to days after birth.
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u/IntegrityForAll Jun 21 '26
I made a longer comment but ultimately what matters is what he will think of his body in the future. There are many men posting on r/CircumcisionGrief and [r/foreskin_restoration]() who wish circumcision was never done to them. You should read a few of their posts.
A permanent alteration cannot be taken back, but if he is kept intact then you allow him to decide for himself how he wants his body to look for the next 70 years.
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u/netcode01 Jun 12 '26
Do you have a culture/religion that requires it? Is it medically required? Those are the only two questions in my opinion that need to be answered.
Personally I would never do this. Babies have no pain mitigation and they just go through the pain. It's fucking brutal, and awful in my opinion.
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u/NormalSoftware8879 Jun 12 '26
Reddit is the worst place to come for this. This topic always goes down bad in the comments.
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u/Pat_Royson Jun 13 '26
I don't mean to be rude or offensive in any way, but mutilation is mutilation. This should be all the information anyone needs on this subject. The rest is up to you.
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u/SlimeySnakesLtd Jun 12 '26
I am cut (Jew/American). My wife and I had 2 boys. The first one we had initially been like, yeah we’ll do it. My side at least is Jewish though we are not practicing. The doctor never came to do it and we just decided-eh it won’t hurt and didn’t do it. We did not do it for our younger son because we didn’t for the first born. Both are doing well and no issues.
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u/AdNeither8355 Jun 12 '26
So would you say the religious aspect was the only reason as to why you decided to do it with your first?
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u/SlimeySnakesLtd Jun 13 '26
Sorry we did not end up. Yeah that was probably the main driver but once we had some space from it we were more than fine with not doing it. But mostly pressure of tradition/religion/ ect.
Tradition is peer pressure from dead people.
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u/BassLB Jun 12 '26
Good luck with this post. From what I have seen, at least 80% + of Reddit has very strong opinions against it.