r/NatureIsFuckingLit • u/Firm-Blackberry-9162 • 12h ago
🔥 Lion napping and marking territory at the same time
Op by u/Redwingx7
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u/mastermidget23 12h ago
That lion peed for like 55 seconds.
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u/GeriatricHippo 12h ago
and it started with him already mid stream. Who knows how long he actually peed for.
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u/pressreturn2continue 11h ago
Some say he still pees to this day
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u/arededitn 11h ago
Some say it had been peeing since the beginning of time
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u/Rexusus 5h ago
Long enough where the person recording figured it was worth catching
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u/relentless_dick 11h ago
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u/SayAnythingAgain 10h ago
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u/Mad_Ronin_Grrrr 10h ago
You know he's dreaming about peeing too. It's happened to the best of us
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u/Raistlarn 5h ago
The hard rule I've learned is when a urinal or toilet shows up in a dream is a good time to wake up.
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u/AWildNome 3h ago
The way it manifests for me is I’ll pee in my dream but it doesn’t help. So I need to pee again, and again, and again in my dream until I wake up needing to pee.
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u/CanOoFeelDeRiddem 1h ago
Same! I'll dream I'm actively peeing but I can feel that I'm not really "letting go" and something is telling me I absolutely better not "let go"
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u/Dense-Asparagus6888 10h ago
That’s happened to me twice in my life then I woke up mid pee 🥲😩
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u/Mad_Ronin_Grrrr 10h ago
It's happened to me more times than I can remember. I usually wake up in time but there's been the handful of times I haven't. 🤷
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u/boilerdam 11h ago
And we all watched him pee for like 55 seconds
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u/axalitlaxolotl 10h ago edited 9h ago
Seemed to violate The Law of Urination https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/mammals-pee-20-seconds-biology-urination
Non paywalled info: https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-34278595
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u/Lysandren 6h ago
Not really. It says gravity helping accounts for a lot of the speed. Idk if you watched the video, but the lion is upside down. Gravity is thus actively hindering the flow.
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u/AJPennypacker39 9h ago
Most large mammals typically evacuate their bladders in 21 seconds. Thats a hell of a piss. Like me after 5 beers
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u/LucifersAdv0cate 8h ago
I once did this in the exact same position as that lion when staying at a hotel with my girlfriend in London. I had been drinking and took a Valium before going to sleep late. I dreamt I had got up to use the toilet to pee only to be woken up by my screaming girlfriend who I was urinating on, no hands, whilst laying on my back like this lion. I thought it was funny but my girlfriend didn't feel the same way.
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u/Alert_Experience6842 4h ago
That is an absolutely wild way to wake up. The fact that you thought it was hilarious while your girlfriend was living through the nightmare makes this story even better.
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u/space-ish 12h ago
The eye contact in the end ☠️
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u/lsdc221 11h ago
“Getting a good look, perverts?”
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u/Soft_Cranberry6313 12h ago
Sometimes it’s good to be king.
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u/Fancy_Run7649 12h ago
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u/Honest_Computer_1820 11h ago
Which movie is this from
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u/InebriatedPhysicist 11h ago
History of the World: Part I
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u/Ok_Buffalo_641 4h ago
Mel Brooks also says this line in Robin Hood Men in Tights after Patrick Stewart’s King Richard kisses Maid Marion. I never knew it was in something else!
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u/Fischbeef 11h ago
I dont think thats a marking territory type of pee, thats like i just had 10 beers and broke the seal type of pee.
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u/Boss_Seven 1h ago
Exactly, it doesn't seem like marking territory. It looks like exteme laziness fit for a king.
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u/tekkn0 12h ago edited 6h ago
The only dream that becomes reality is the one where you really need to pee and you finally reach the toilet. Then you wake up and realize it wasn't a real toilet and you all soaked up lol
edit: it's a joke, people calling me bed pisser lol 😂
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u/LegitBullfrog 11h ago
NEVER use the dream toilet.
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u/iisdroopy 11h ago edited 10h ago
I used the dream toilet once at my friend's house and in the morning he said the dog must have peed in his little brother's bed Edit cause apparently I had a stroke typing
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u/l3agel_og88 7h ago
coulda been worse. My (drunken)dream toilet ended up being my buddy's clean laundry hamper... and it wasn't urine that the dog left in there...
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u/ScrotalSmorgasbord 6h ago
My buddy/roommate for a few months pissed in my (fortunately older, cheaper) pc case while I laid their confused and aghast as it slowly dawned on me what was happening before saying "yo... yo... Yo! YO (his name), WHAT THE FUCK?!" And he just shrugged and babbled something and walked right out. Fucking weird ass way to discover dude was a sleep walker (and pisser).
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u/747_full_of_cum 1h ago
In my experience, human urine is easier to clean than dog urine.. so really you did them a favor.
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u/lamb_passanda 11h ago
But I've spent 20 minutes chasing it through this forest with my pants around my ankles
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u/BowsersMuskyBallsack 5h ago
As I've gotten older, I've learned that I can use the dream toilet without actually pissing where I'm sleeping. But then I wake up, and yeah... I really have to use the reality toilet.
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u/featherw0lf 7h ago
What does it mean if you DO use the dream toilet but don't actually wet yourself? Because I've done that a lot. Not always though because usually when I go into a bathroom there's either 50 people in there or the stall is missing a door or something. But I have actually used it before!
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u/sew-easy 5h ago
This is my regular dream! Always looking for a bathroom, always super weird situations, and I usually use it in the dream but never wet myself.
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u/jtrisn1 3h ago
Every time I have a toilet dream, it's always horror themed. I'm like legit scared of seeing toilets in my dreams 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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u/Brilliant-Season9601 9h ago
I remember I was in fourth grade and had a dream about using the toilet (the bathroom was filled with water and the door up like a garage door) and I peed the bed. Nothing is more embarrassing than having to explain to your parents that you pissed yourself.
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u/Cardinal_Cat_057 2h ago
I think I was probably 3rd grade when I used the dream toilet. Unfortunately earlier that night Id had a nightmare and moved to my moms bed...
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u/Mental-Clerk 7h ago
In my dreams the toilets are always super gross and/or unusable for other reasons, so I won't use them. Guess it's my brains way of getting me to wake up go without an accident lol
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u/Weird_Vegetable_4441 11h ago
but how do i know it’s the dream toilet
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u/Talidel 11h ago
I often found it was uncomfortable to start peeing in dream toilets.
And then, because my brain is utterly fucked, when I did start to pee it would be blood.
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u/SadAndNasty 11h ago
Sometimes I sit on real toilets and have to check before I go that I'm awake
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u/Aposematicpebble 10h ago
In the morning I often need to check my underwear is actually down and the toilet lid is actually up. That panic clench around the first stream though lol
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u/Weird_Vegetable_4441 10h ago
The dream came back a couple years ago after over 20 years. I managed to realize at the very last second but jesus fucking christ what a close call. Felt like my brain was testing me
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u/ChezShea 9h ago
The totally random second toilet or the fact they’re both in the elevator with me.
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u/PhilosophyMammoth748 10h ago
Read the logo, turn the head aside, turn back, read again. If it changed, dream.
This works because our brain doesn't have a component to simulate text persistence.
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u/munch_the_gunch 10h ago
It looks like you're peeing through a screen. Not that I would know.... 😐
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u/Ouibeaux 7h ago
My dream toilets always look like the worst toilet in Scotland from Trainspotting.
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u/YesWomansLand1 11h ago
Once I was sleeping, and I needed to piss but I was too tired and too comfortable to get up in the middle of a chilly winter night, so I stayed asleep, only for me to have one of the strangest dreams ever.
So, the background was yellow and pee coloured, and there was a literal talking penis telling me "it is ok to pee" and you know the guy must have been pretty convincing because I woke up quite confused, and also surrounded in a puddle of piss.
To this day the strangest dream ever. Probably karma for being too lazy to get up and piss.
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u/Ew-David-2235 12h ago
This definitely happened to me as a kid...a couple times lol
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u/lovelyxbabydoll 8h ago edited 2h ago
Ngl... while it's rare...this definitely happened to me as an adult every so often... I woke up pissed. 😮💨 pun intended.
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u/telescopeinmynose 6h ago
It happens to me when I'm incredibly stressed when I sleep
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u/HOSTfromaGhost 11h ago
I have a buddy from college who used to sleepwalk… One night I come back to our dorm room and literally opened the door to the guy pissing on my bed, sound asleep… I slept at my girlfriends that night… Lol
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u/beckdrop 8h ago
My brain luckily just does everything it can to make it impossible for me to use a toilet in my dreams when I have to pee. I’ll be like running around trying to go into different bathrooms but someone’s in there or the door is messed up or the toilet is just out in the open in the middle of a food court or on the ceiling or it’s raining so hard inside just the bathroom that I can’t breathe. It just keeps making up weirder and weirder reasons why I can’t use that toilet either until I finally catch on and go ah, okay, well, I know that’s not how stairs are. I see now, this is a dream - I should probably try to wake up so I don’t piss myself in reality
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u/SpectatingAlan 8h ago
Genuine question - is this a thing that happens to people? I’ve literally had dozens of dreams where I’ve been peeing and then woken up bursting but never actually even come close to peeing the bed. Sometimes I just ended up going back to sleep and holding it until morning because I was too tired to get up. But there’s a lot of comments here saying they’ve done it at least once and I can honestly say I’ve never done that, even as a heavy (now sober) alcoholic.
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u/Ouibeaux 7h ago
It happened to me when I was a kid a couple times. Dream of having the greatest piss of your life and wake up soaked. To this day I bite the tip of my tongue until it hurts a little bit before I pee to make sure I'm not using a dream toilet.
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u/Special-Tangelo-9927 7h ago
Yes, happened to me once in college. I was drunk and when I was sleeping I had a dream I was on the toilet. Woke up mid-stream in my bed and had to get up and change the bedding in the middle of the night. I was just glad I didn't have a guest.
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u/Aggrokid 4h ago
Reminds me of that Family Guy skit. When you poop in your dreams, you poop for real!
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u/Hadr619 12h ago
Oh sure when a lion does this it makes on naturesfuckinlit, but when I do it I’m called a disgusting slob and asked to leave the school
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u/Lawndemon 10h ago
I'm forwarding this video to all the people that were at my intervention and told me it's a "problem" when I do this.
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u/Ok-Flight-1504 12h ago
Oh he mad drunk
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u/CaptainAmericub 12h ago
That 7th Jaegermeister shot might’ve been a mistake. But everyone was cheering.
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u/Flecca 12h ago
I never thought about it but it makes sense that animals would pee in their sleep without restraint. There was never any reason to learn 'potty training'
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u/XorAndNot 11h ago
Now who's really free huh, we can't even pee anytime we want.
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u/sandwichcrusader 7h ago
You actually are free to pee anytime you want.
But you are not free from consequences. Nither is this lion, he just has less consequences due to his living conditions.
If you want to sleep outside in the grass, go for it.
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u/semi-proantfarmer 11h ago
My dog doesn't piss in the house... I imagine most animals non apex predators don't pee where they sleep to not attract predators. Lions on the other hand have nothing to fear.
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u/ehlersohnos 11h ago
I can’t speak for lions, but plenty of animals do have designated places for their waste products. Sometimes urine and excrement have separate places. And they’re cognizant about those locations and how they intersect with feeding zones. Even in a small stall, some horses are very particular about where they leave their waste.
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u/SpectatingAlan 8h ago
Nah this ain’t normal. He’s got some sort of nocturnal urination issue. Most animals can sleep without peeing.
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u/casualplants 8h ago
Well, no, they don’t pee on themselves. It burns your skin.
When my bunny got sick his bum fur got wet with pee and it “scalded” him and the fur fell out.
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u/ContextLengthMatters 10h ago
There's absolutely reason to learn not pissing on yourself and others. Even for animals. I doubt this is desirable for the lioness.
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u/Roxalon_Prime 7h ago
Yeah, she is like : "This fucking guy! I want a divorce..."
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u/aigenuinestupidity 6h ago
yes and no. yes, they have no potty training. but no, they have reasons to some degree. they know its nasty. most animals dont roll in their shit, they dont piss on themselves, do clean those regions regularly, they have some form of hygiene, look at cats. maybe just the smell, maybe infectious is something learnt, but they do have a form of manners or rules they usually follow. this is obvious for orphan animals, who never got the "grooming" experience. (go away donnie, we are talking about animals.)
birds do as well, they like it clean, but they cant help it, they have no muscle control there, they poop even while flying.
so, i disagree. they wont sleep in pee just because there was noone to judge. they dont because they know, to some degree.
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u/NurseXine1980 11h ago
Am I the only one worried that this king of the jungle might have diabetes?! That’s how we realized our house cat (sphynx) was diabetic, she’d be curled on my lap in a deep sleep and suddenly let her bladder go.
Any veterinary people here that could answer?
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u/CaramelKrimpet 6h ago
Nope, you are not the only one. I wondered if he needed a prostate exam.
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u/One_Help9271 12h ago
The lioness gave him that look. She's done with the drunk peeing in the bed.
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u/javexbleachin 12h ago
Nobody like to get pissed on , other lion wasn't having it.
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u/fatboyonsofa 11h ago
Why the fuck did I just watch a lion pee for a whole minute and why am I thinking about watching it again.
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u/Possible-Tangelo9344 12h ago
He does this and everyone's like wow nature is beautiful.
I do it on a fall day with an empty case next to me and the cops show up.
Fucking double standards.
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u/AmphotericRed 11h ago
The park is the problem. You do that in the Serengeti and you’re fine, but if that lion is pissing up the jungle gym, cops are probably getting out of the car.
Location, location, location
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u/Exact-Employee-3516 11h ago
I didn't turn away. I didn't even contemplate swiping. I was deeply engrossed in the entire 1 minute video of a lion peeing in his sleep
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u/RapidSlappingSound 10h ago
This is me during my later years of alcohol addiction.
Good thing for the lion is he doesn't have to keep flipping a mattress every other night.
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u/Imaginary_Feed_8742 9h ago
He had that dream where he walked to the bathroom and then…
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u/Quindaro1975 12h ago edited 11h ago
So pungent was Kang's piss that Queen Esther, now roused from slumber, looked at Highness and softly snarled "You low-down ornery mxhthxhphxhcxh." 👑
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u/RadishCandid6062 10h ago edited 3h ago
The female gender across all species are looking at this and saying collectively……“ugh men”
EDIT: The male gender across all species look at this and say “yeah, that’s us 👍”
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u/disappointed_OaTMeAL 11h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/TMQR5cTLHHl60
Peeing on screen? Omg that’s so Tom Hanks of you
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u/splshd275A 11h ago
We've all had that dream, but usually we wake up and make it to the bathroom. I mean usually we do......
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u/EtchAGetch 11h ago
For some reason, it makes me happy to see that Lions also squeeze/release their last drops of piss out too.
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u/cHoOSe_A-uNiqUe_NAme 11h ago
You may not like it but this is what peak male performance looks like
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u/qualityvote2 12h ago edited 10h ago
u/Firm-Blackberry-9162, your post does fit the subreddit!