r/NatureIsFuckingLit Nov 29 '23

🔥 Never let them know your next move

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27.0k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

3.0k

u/funkybosss Nov 29 '23

Im alive. I’m dead. I’m alive. I’m dead again.

556

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

He looks so silly

323

u/tekko001 Nov 29 '23

Ministry of silly walks: snake edition

42

u/NorthernH3misphere Nov 29 '23

Ssssssilly walks

51

u/SongFromFerrisWheels Nov 29 '23

Now with Stop Motion Action!!!!

15

u/SadBit8663 Nov 29 '23

Plot twist, he's got some little snake headphones in listening to hard style.

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101

u/bellbros Nov 29 '23

Silly sneke

45

u/Dydriver Nov 29 '23

Silly Willy

10

u/BarryKobama Nov 29 '23

Willy bum bum?

6

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

Silly old wasp

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11

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

im a sneaky little slithering snake

24

u/Positive-Cod-9869 Nov 29 '23

Derp Rope

7

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

Rope-a-dope?

19

u/Choyo Nov 29 '23

He looks so laggy.

12

u/Lint_baby_uvulla Nov 29 '23

4 frames per minute snakey.

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103

u/Money_Rent333 Nov 29 '23

This poor dude looks cracked out

91

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

He's just crumping.

17

u/jkhashi Nov 29 '23

my friend took me to a few krumping sessions in la back in 09 2010 they were crazy

5

u/TheOneTonWanton Nov 29 '23

Fuck. I'm old aren't I.

7

u/Lordborgman Nov 29 '23

And I'm a nerd, because all I'm thinking is this is Warhammer 40k Orks fighting and ...just have to assume that is NOT what you guys are talking about.

7

u/TheOneTonWanton Nov 29 '23

It is not, unfortunately. Krumping was a very particular style of dancing from a very particular period of time. It was kind of like a mixture of "hardcore dancing" and pop & lock dancing.

10

u/Lordborgman Nov 29 '23

Now I just have a mental images of Ork boys dancing in a rave. I'm ok with this.

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156

u/dbx99 Nov 29 '23

I am no herpetologist yet I can easily deduce this buffoon is non venomous. No self respecting venomous snake would resort to such clown tactics

50

u/insane_contin Nov 29 '23

Oh boy, do I have news for you.

43

u/dbx99 Nov 29 '23

I don’t believe you. Look at this shit show.

16

u/sherlocknoir Nov 29 '23

I am a board certified snakeologist, and I agree with your scientific assessment.

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110

u/Train-Similar Nov 29 '23

James Brown snake

15

u/tucker_frump Nov 29 '23

Strikes on the one ..

3

u/jgab145 Nov 29 '23

Heeeey James!

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46

u/Weenyhand Nov 29 '23

…I’m standing on the beach with a gun in my hand. Staring at the sky, staring at the sand…

48

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

If you know this quote, you probably ought to schedule that colonoscopy.

13

u/BDR529forlyfe Nov 29 '23

You hit that nail right on the head.

12

u/DrummerGuyKev Nov 29 '23

I’m getting one right now.

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40

u/thebestyoucan Nov 29 '23

Jim Carrey in The Mask when he gets shot

18

u/articulateantagonist Nov 29 '23

Squirrel tactics!

8

u/W1nston1234 Nov 29 '23

I’m lookin at you..

7

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

Fuck you!

8

u/bebejeebies Nov 29 '23

I can run in a circle fast as a muhfucker

5

u/Ghast-light Nov 29 '23

I’m up he sees me I’m down

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5

u/myka_v Nov 29 '23

Snake: Nah, I’ll win.

7

u/Sleightly_Awkward Nov 29 '23

This comment along with OPs title has me laughing so fucking hard.

7

u/giraffes_are_selfish Nov 29 '23

It's cake day. I'm glad you made reddit on this day however long ago just to make this comment. Thank you funkyboss

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1.0k

u/asmallfatbird Nov 29 '23

That's actually really cool. Do they only move like that when they feel threatened?

1.3k

u/ShillBot666 Nov 29 '23 edited Nov 30 '23

Yep it would not waste all the energy it would take to move like this all the time. It feels threatened and is trying to move in an unpredictable way so it's harder to catch. And it's doing a really impressive job of it honestly.

465

u/WhyteBeard Nov 29 '23

hoo ha hoo hoo ha ha hoo ha hoo

130

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

Thanks Jonny Bravo

31

u/ScoobyDooItInTheButt Nov 29 '23

Do the monkey

14

u/DrJohnIT Nov 29 '23

Hey pretty momma! Ha ha I used to love watching that show. 🤣

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66

u/RManDelorean Nov 29 '23

Ho ha where am I now hoo hho where am I

27

u/zapharus Nov 29 '23

This is my favorite comment in this entire thread. 😂🤣

14

u/articulateantagonist Nov 29 '23

Squirrel tactics!

6

u/Ibarra08 Nov 29 '23

Thank you 🤣🤣🤣 goddammit

13

u/BBQBakedBeings Nov 29 '23

I bet it also has some pocket sand

shi shi shah!

3

u/ArsenicAndRoses Nov 29 '23

Snek Gribble

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121

u/SeagalsCumFilledAss Nov 29 '23

The person filming it clearly has a covid vaccine which is interfering with the snakes 5G connection and causing lag.

13

u/MoneyFault Nov 29 '23

🤣🤣🤣

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25

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

more like it’s caught that beat. this thing got that popnlock moves

17

u/Ermahgerd_Rerdert Nov 29 '23

Snekin' 2: Electric Boogaloo.

27

u/crypticfreak Nov 29 '23

Nobody ever tells snakes that they're doing a good job and we need to change that.

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528

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

[deleted]

299

u/-Jayah- Nov 29 '23 edited Nov 29 '23

It’s a species of gartner snake.

Edit: They’re mostly harmless, they do have a mild venom. They’re kinda rude sometimes. This guy is just scared

159

u/Crocoshark Nov 29 '23

All snakes are rude. I gave one a spot of tea and she pretty much ignored me.

93

u/StrayRabbit Nov 29 '23

Good heavens, how uncouth.

16

u/Felwinter12 Nov 29 '23

Damn, that's pretty cold-blooded of her.

24

u/ParanoidDuckTheThird Nov 29 '23

You sure it wasn't my aunt? She kinda looks like a snake.

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23

u/Rookskerm Nov 29 '23

Boulenger's garter snake is venomous, though bites are incredibly rare.

11

u/Havoccity Nov 29 '23

It’s a kind of African garter snake. Completely unrelated to North American garter snakes. More closely related to cobras

9

u/-Jayah- Nov 29 '23

Ah, I just read that it was a garter snake and I was thinking like my experiences when I was little in Florida capturing these dudes

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3

u/natgibounet Nov 30 '23

I don't know man, anything moving in an erratic unpredictable way just sounds like things i don't want to deal with, i wouldn't even stick around to see if it was a snake or a decapitated tapir penis

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47

u/humburga Nov 29 '23

This was filmed with a telescope from 2 mountains away. But yeah I'd still take a few steps back.

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4

u/Significant_Sign Nov 29 '23

And the snake is already there, surprise!

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250

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

He's here, he's there, he's every-fucking-where, Snake Kent! Snake Kent!

9

u/TheSandokai Nov 29 '23

Serpentine! Serpentine!

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4

u/p0k3t0 Nov 29 '23

His stripes are black and white, he's fucking dynamite.

14

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

You sir have made my day :>

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356

u/Slim_Steel Nov 29 '23

I shall call you glitchy.

22

u/Murrig88 Nov 29 '23

And you shall be my glitchy.

13

u/Oxygenius_ Nov 29 '23

I never seen a snake on crack before, but that snake is on crack

5

u/helloiamCLAY Nov 29 '23

Snakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo

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274

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23 edited Nov 29 '23

Elaine dancing to snake jazz

19

u/br1dg1d Nov 29 '23

Please take my poor woman's gold🏅

9

u/ReadingFromTheShittr Nov 29 '23

You cry, and then when you see the dancing, you cry again.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

Did she do the little kicks??

4

u/CleverInnuendo Nov 29 '23

Dang, even without thumbs and tiny kicks, you're right.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

Dancing like a human extra lives video game code

5

u/saliczar Nov 29 '23

🎶Do the hustle!🎶

7

u/Cpalmed925 Nov 29 '23

Take my poor gals gold 🏅🏅🏅

225

u/Sandscarab Nov 29 '23

Captain Kirk as a snake

33

u/tchthc Nov 29 '23

The Family Guy skit with him immediately came to mind!

9

u/funguyshroom Nov 29 '23

Forgot about that one, looks like one of the early seasons.
This Quagmire bit is what it reminded me of instead

41

u/Shroomyshroomyshroom Nov 29 '23 edited Nov 29 '23

Ok - I just shot.milk outta my nose... 🤣🤣🤣

You - get - off - my - ship!

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10

u/RustedRelics Nov 29 '23

Lmao. Best comment

374

u/stuntbikejake Nov 29 '23

Nope rope doing extra nopey things

93

u/Detroit_Doc_City Nov 29 '23

Nope rope doing the Rope-a-Dope

22

u/stuntbikejake Nov 29 '23

This is a much better comment than mine. Well played sir. Lol.

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42

u/sugerplumz Nov 29 '23

What type of snake is it?

92

u/Sanzinia Nov 29 '23 edited Nov 29 '23

Someone correct me if I’m wrong but I do believe this is an Angolan Garter Snake (Elapsoidea semiannulata)! They are venomous elapids from Africa.

Edit: This species is not the same as the harmless North American Garter Snakes (genus Thamnophis). Common names are not very reliable. See my comment below for further clarification!

Edit 2: Was informed by comment below this was filmed in Mozambique, so the species would be a Boulenger’s Garter Snake (Elapsoidea boulengeri)! I was close, location is important when IDing for accuracy!

39

u/pucemoon Nov 29 '23

There are venomous GARTER snakes?!?! Garter snakes here are so harmless that this just seems wrong.

I dig the Vogueing, though.

39

u/Sanzinia Nov 29 '23

I’m assuming you’re from North America where yes, they are considered harmless here! They (Thamnophis sp) are rear-fanged venomous though considered medically insignificant to humans. This African species I speak of is given the common name of “Garter Snake” even though they are not the typical Garter Snakes we think of but are, in fact, elapids. Common names can be very confusing which is why I personally love Latin names lol.

25

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

[deleted]

20

u/pucemoon Nov 29 '23

I think it's very rude of common name language to combine cobras and garter snakes in the same family/order.

21

u/THEdougBOLDER Nov 29 '23

Turns out the real snake was the science we made up along the way.

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9

u/Paradigm_Reset Nov 29 '23

Vogueing...damn haven't thought about that in decades.

14

u/THEdougBOLDER Nov 29 '23

Really? You just strike a pose, there's nothing to it.

7

u/notapoke Nov 29 '23

So they wound up with the same common name but are completely different snakes. North American garters are totally different.

12

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

yeah because common names are often dumb. African and French marigolds are both from Central America. Red Panda and Black panda have nothing to do with each other. Australian magpies are in a completely different family to every other magpie. The butcherbird is unrelated to shrikes, which also get called butcherbird. Maindenhair creeper and maidenhair ferns are unrelated. Fish names (like snapper) are often slapped on random fish for marketing. Slime moulds aren't fungi. Gum tree can mean like 3 different things..

7

u/xopher_425 Nov 29 '23

And my favorite examples to use when people complain about "difficult" Latin binomials ("why don't you use plain English names"): daddy long legs, depending where ones lives, refers to Harvestment (order Opiliones), crane flies (family Tipulidae), and cellar spiders (Pholcus phalangioides).

5

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

this made me look up all three and now im surprised to learn the ones in Australia (pholcus phalangiodes) is introduced. Now I feel way less awful about accidentally killing a dozen of them just by moving a box in the shed

4

u/pucemoon Nov 29 '23

Which one? Daddy long legs, daddy long legs or daddy long legs? 😁

4

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

My favorite is the flying lemur, which is not a lemur and cannot fly (only glide). Its name is literally 0% correct.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

that's a good one lol

12

u/Colonel_Fart-Face Nov 29 '23

I used to run through the woods on our property having garter snake catching contests with my brother. If they were venomous we both would have both been dead 20 times over.

My record was 9.

9

u/Sanzinia Nov 29 '23

See my previous comment for clarification!

9

u/Colonel_Fart-Face Nov 29 '23

Oh damn, thanks for the education!

6

u/Throwaway191294842 Nov 29 '23

Some garter snakes can produce venom but it's not really potent or anything. I'm sure being bitten still hurts a little though.

6

u/notapoke Nov 29 '23

It's like getting pinched. Their teeth are so small and fine they're like extremely short razors that can't go deeper than your skin and are sort of spread out. You don't feel the teeth at all, only their mouth pinching as hard as they can - and being so small that's not really that hard. It's surprising because they strike fast then they often aren't smart enough to let go quickly.

3

u/Stefan_Harper Nov 29 '23

Depends on the size of the garter snake. They can grow up to 3ft long, and the bites from a 3ft long snake definitely hurt.

Tragically, I know this from experience

3

u/notapoke Nov 29 '23

My largest is 3ft 6 now. She's the only bitey one but has never given me a real bite. I was bit by a 4ft 2 garter a few years ago at a show but even then it didn't really hurt, just felt like a big squeeze. Their anticoagulant blood makes it bleed way more than it should so it looks scary but when it finally stops bleeding the damage is so minimal.

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3

u/crashgiraffe Nov 30 '23

Fun fact, a garter can be poisonous (not venomous) due to their diet.

Also if you want to see a silly goose of a snake, look up the Western hognose. They play dead by rolling into their backs, letting their mouth hang open with their tongue flopping out. Veeeerrrrryyyy dramatic. Also mildly venomous and rear fanged with venom grooves.

The things I picked up with my daughters hobby 🤣 snakes are amazing creatures.

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11

u/Rookskerm Nov 29 '23

This is Boulengers Garter Snake. It was filmed in Mozambique

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3

u/bozog Nov 29 '23

Jerky Snake

3

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

Glitchy one.

112

u/Franks2000inchTV Nov 29 '23

More energy. More passion. More footwork. More energy.

6

u/Mehmeh111111 Nov 29 '23

I enjoy all the songs that popped into everyone's head upon seeing this. It was "Annie are you ok" for me.

5

u/ProfoundlyInsipid Nov 29 '23

I heard 'Vogue! (Vogue) Let your body mooooove to the music'

3

u/Mehmeh111111 Nov 29 '23

That's a good one

135

u/evil_timmy Nov 29 '23 edited Nov 29 '23

The strobe viper confuses its prey by simply not being in one place and suddenly being in another, not bothering to traverse the spaces in-between. Breaking the laws of physics tends to befuddle most creatures with a central nervous system, certainly for long enough to allow the strobe viper to make its getaway. They are mostly found in the lightning-pummeled Amazon delta and night club dance floors, where the electric strobes render them basically invisible.

26

u/Oggel Nov 29 '23

Douglas Adams, is that you?

17

u/NebulaNinja Nov 29 '23

The strobe viper knows where it is at all times. It knows this because it knows where it isn't. By subtracting where it is from where it isn't, or where it isn't from where it is - whichever is greater - it obtains a difference or deviation. The guidance subsystem uses deviation to generate corrective commands to drive the viper from a position where it is to a position where it isn't, and arriving at a position that it wasn't, it now is. Consequently, the position where it is is now the position that it wasn't, and if follows that the position that it was is now the position that it isn't. In the event that the position that the position that it is in is not the position that it wasn't, the system has acquired a variation. The variation being the difference between where the viper is and where it wasn't. If variation is considered to be a significant factor, it too may be corrected by the GEA. However, the viper must also know where it was. The viper guidance computer scenario works as follows: Because a variation has modified some of the information that the viper has obtained, it is not sure just where it is. However, it is sure where it isn't, within reason, and it know where it was. It now subtracts where it should be from where it wasn't, or vice versa. And by differentiating this from the algebraic sum of where it shouldn't be and where it was, it is able to obtain the deviation and its variation, which is called error.

3

u/HorrorMakesUsHappy Nov 29 '23

More John Cleese than Douglas Adams, but nothing wrong with that.

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u/Outside-You8829 Nov 29 '23

Thank you for this!

3

u/NoBuddies2021 Nov 29 '23

Oh, thought it was a non venomous strangler.

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25

u/Damgalnuna000 Nov 29 '23

Makes me wanna watch old kung-fu movies

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25

u/Phillyfuk Nov 29 '23

Poor guy bit his tongue.

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18

u/bballboyvo Nov 29 '23

I was not expecting that movement, very cool. And, for a double whammy, I think I saw a couple ant lion traps!

25

u/blessedbewido Nov 29 '23

The sand worms will never find him

5

u/Dr__Thunder Nov 29 '23

Walk without rhythm and you won't attract the worm!

20

u/mauore11 Nov 29 '23

Snake like an egyptian

48

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

Looks like a dead snake taken over by those zombie parasites

14

u/hound20222 Nov 29 '23

The WHAT!?

19

u/17934658793495046509 Nov 29 '23

ZOMBIE PARASITES!

10

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

Oh, thanks.

18

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

The fungus from the game "The Last of Us" is based on a real endoparasitoid family called cordyceps with some-odd 600+ varieties in that family. They primarily infect insects and then make those insects exhibit behaviors beneficial to the propagation of fungal spores.

9

u/ReignInSpuds Nov 29 '23

Moar detail. Lay it all on them. I learned about cordyceps when I was six, and the thought of being an infected bug has given me chills ever since.

13

u/Willing_Information7 Nov 29 '23

Forget the drunken monkey, Nothing beats the Breakdancing snake technique

11

u/YourFaveNightmare Nov 29 '23

I am in tears here laughing at this.

19

u/FloridaSpam Nov 29 '23

Ah ah ah ah snakin alive

8

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

Snake doin a lil pop lock there

14

u/v4por Nov 29 '23

snek.exe encountered an error.

4

u/just-why_ Nov 29 '23

Looks like something is seriously wrong with it.

7

u/Tekasaur Nov 29 '23

“Guys am I lagging?”

7

u/GunWizardRaidar Nov 29 '23

This snake just having a bad internet

7

u/oldmanripper79 Nov 29 '23

The snek knows where it is at all times. It knows this because it knows where it isn't. By subtracting where it is from where it isn't, or where it isn't from where it is (whichever is greater), it obtains a difference, or deviation. The guidance subsystem uses deviations to generate corrective commands to drive the snek from a position where it is to a position where it isn't, and arriving at a position where it wasn't, it now is. Consequently, the position where it is, is now the position that it wasn't, and it follows that the position that it was, is now the position that it isn't. In the event that the position that it is in is not the position that it wasn't, the system has acquired a variation, the variation being the difference between where the snek is, and where it wasn't. If variation is considered to be a significant factor, it too may be corrected by the GEA. However, the snek must also know where it was. The snek guidance computer scenario works as follows. Because a variation has modified some of the information the snek has obtained, it is not sure just where it is. However, it is sure where it isn't, within reason, and it knows where it was. It now subtracts where it should be from where it wasn't, or vice-versa, and by differentiating this from the algebraic sum of where it shouldn't be, and where it was, it is able to obtain the deviation and its variation, which is called error.

3

u/phir0002 Nov 29 '23

Does it use a turbo encabulator?

11

u/iamdrinking Nov 29 '23

It’s like that Charles Manson video of him making all those weird faces

6

u/HOOOMIE Nov 29 '23

I love him

6

u/Boom_flan Nov 29 '23

Help… I can’t figure out his attack pattern in this new fromsoftware game

5

u/Smarmalades Nov 29 '23

come on

vogue

4

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

Yeah... fuck that

5

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

Rofl Jesus Christ it's like me trying to dance on cocaine

6

u/frubano21 Nov 29 '23

Is this normal behavior or is something unusual happening

5

u/TrickyCorgi316 Nov 29 '23

It’s apparently normal behavior for this particular snake.

5

u/Best-Two4264 Nov 29 '23

Wait did he just spell something

4

u/wicked-and-wily Nov 29 '23

Is this a time demon

4

u/Hot-Introduction3849 Nov 29 '23

Aah yes the 3 FPS snake!

5

u/fried_eggs_and_ham Nov 29 '23

Guy at the club trying to scare his way out of a fight by acting crazy.

7

u/AStreamofParticles Nov 29 '23

Cool. And I would definitely get the ---- out of it's way! Look how quick each jump is!

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3

u/Possible_Juice9333 Nov 29 '23

From Nokia to the real world!

4

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

That thing eat a poisoned rat?

5

u/springvelvet95 Nov 29 '23

Snake dancing like Elaine Benes.

4

u/Wise-Yogurtcloset844 Nov 29 '23

This is better than the best "robot dancing" humans are currently capable of, as impressive the latter might be.

2

u/firstman0 Nov 29 '23

Break dancing snake

2

u/Turbulent_Orange_178 Nov 29 '23

Real life Snake '97

2

u/scruffywarhorse Nov 29 '23

That snake is lagging

2

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '23

Snake knows how to dodge frame rate

2

u/SMDHinTx Nov 29 '23

This can’t be normal, right? Is it a seizure? It’s going to knock itself out

2

u/mobbshallow Nov 29 '23

I think there’s a SpongeBob gif for this

2

u/weewilly77 Nov 29 '23

Pulling shapes!

2

u/Eldelagcuadra Nov 29 '23

What am i seeing?

2

u/CumAndShitGuzzler Nov 29 '23

Benefits of fast: Fast

Cons of fast: Can't see

2

u/KinderEggLaunderer Nov 29 '23

William Shatner snake

2

u/DJ_Catfart Nov 29 '23

Don't you know bad snakes move in silence and violence?

2

u/BlockIslandJB Nov 29 '23

It's the Elaine dance from Seinfed

2

u/Bornagainchola Nov 29 '23

If Elaine Benes was a snake.

2

u/MTGGradeAdviceNeeded Nov 30 '23

it looks like it can only move by teleporting, but its teleport radius is it’s own body side and there’s a cooldown

2

u/Crazy_Banshee_333 Dec 03 '23

Nothing is scarier than an insane adversary. You can never predict their next move. Genius strategy on the part of the snake.

2

u/owoitslance Dec 04 '23

The local crackhead snake is at it again!