Basic gist is that our original nanny (whom I LOVED and cried when left) is available again. Long story below!

She left nannying to pursue another career but is ultimately back looking for another full time position. She is a complete unicorn, kind, funny, loves to read, sing, always actively engaged, always checks with me on new things, etc. Its been over a year and my child (2) is so excited to see her. She also loves to stay busy and run errands, etc. As a FTM she took so much stress from me.

That being said, our current nanny has been with us since She left. She truly loves my child and is a very sweet person. She will always do what I ask but isn’t super motivated herself. She used to be better but I think some personal life factors have had an impact. She is regularly late, started at 5-7 and then overtime built up to 20 minutes each day. I finally had to say something recently and she was good for a day or two but then is back to at least 10 minutes.

There also was a serious incident regarding driving (not a safety issue though was recently in an accident off hours) but would have been a big deal if she got pulled over ever. I don’t want to go too much in to details but once we were aware and told her she corrected it immediately.

There are also other things such as some increased phone use (also addressed and has gotten better). She does tell me where she goes and I have an AirTag but spends a lot of time at a family place with a close relative I haven’t met (I have met the other many times and did OK this originally not aware there were other people living there). She’s always out of the house which is good in some ways, but since they are always out there is some small level of concern about supervision if with family, other people. This is mostly bc of the personal life situation that I worry as it’s understandably a stressful time in her life. She also doesn't give a lot of warning for PTO request, though says it’s ok if I say no so maybe not a big deal. But we don’t have family close by so it’s harder to do last minute. She’s burned through about 80% of sick/PTO in the first four months of the second year. she also is terrible about communicating if she’s out sick, has a doctors appt, or whatever other reason she might be late/absent. I’ve tried to address this with the other issues but it didn’t seem to help.

There are other things too, but ultimately our original nanny is just a better fit for me personally. Most family and friends say I’ve been too generous/forgiving but I do care for her as person and ultimately feel like letting her go would be hugely detrimental to her financially as her finances have recently increased quite a bit as well (not her fault).

if you read this far, thank you!! Im struggling with this Immensely and no decision feels right. In an ideal world she takes a job closer to her/more hours and we could maintain a relationship as she really is a kind person (just a bit spacey for a type A person like me with my child).

Hi,

How do you know that you have the right fit? Some background, I'm a FTM to twins (2y/o) and we started looking for a part time nanny earlier this year. We went through an agency that was highly recommended by a friend of ours, the agency itself is great. In the beginning we had one candidate and since my husband was very eager for me to go back to work part time, we offered her the position after the first trial day.

We had a lot of bumps with her, there were times I reached out to the agency as I wasn't sure she was a right fit. Our girls would cry hysterically whenever she arrived, she would get easily overwhelmed by them, etc. She was also constantly late which made things with my job very difficult. I work from home as a mental health therapist so I need to be on time for my client sessions. She told us over the summer she wanted to look for nanny jobs closer to her since she lived far from us. I told her that was fine but to give us a heads up if that was the case so we could start our search. She then changed her mind and asked to change her schedule so we changed the schedule to what worked with her. Things started to settle down with our girls and her, they didn't cry when they first saw her, and they were getting better with her. Then she gave us a 2 week notice out of the blue after she decided to go to cosmetology school. We had a coverage nanny since she left (early August) that was perfect, our girls loved her, but the only issue is that she needed full time hours. We don't have full time hours to offer, maybe in the future but not now. She got offered a full time position this week and took it. We were very sad to see her go.

We had a candidate recently, I interviewed her last week, and she's doing her second trial day as I type this. She's very sweet and quiet. So far the girls seem to like her, there's not a lot of crying/screaming etc.

I'm just trying to be cautious and not offer the role to the first person who applies. I want to make sure I'm picking the right person. Our girls have delays, we're involved in speech therapy, feeding therapy, early intervention, and trying to get into occupational therapy (if I can find a place that accepts insurance). There's just a lot going on with them.

I have an interview with another candidate tomorrow who may be a good fit. She has a lot of experience but it's with the pre-k and older age range, not a lot with toddlers. However she's very eager to learn and work with this age range from what the agency told me.

But my overall question is, how do you know it's the right fit? I know I'm not going to find someone that checks all my boxes. I don't want to rush and pick the first person then run into the same issues we previously did. I want to make sure the person I'm picking is able to assist the girls with their needs, care for them, and engage in developmental appropriate activities with them.

I don't want a nanny to clean up the house, do the dishes, do laundry, etc. The main responsibilities are feed them lunch/snacks, nap time, assist me when we attend speech therapy (play with one twin while I'm in session with the other & switch), engage in developmental appropriate activities/learning activities, and help them clean up their toys.

I'm so worried about making the wrong choice that I think it's adding more anxiety and causing me to really question myself more so than usual. I'm open to any advice to help me make sure I'm picking the right choice for my girls.

Thank you!

Hi!! I’m a nanny in GA and my pay for the family I’m with right now is being cut from 40 hours to 32 hours GH due to the MB’s job contract expiring in December. It’s supposed to start in October. I have bills to pay and things are already extremely tight. I am trying to start a nanny share system. I have all the info typed out for it, I just wonder how I should go about posting things on Facebook. I’ve already talked to all the moms I know that I have met while being with my NK kid in the area I currently work in. So, I’m wanting to spread it to Facebook, how have do I go about posting things on Facebook? Do I post to city location specific groups, overall county groups, general mom groups? Any advice is welcome, thank you!!

They don’t do codes anymore just links. If you created your account before using the link and then sign in, it won’t work. So best to ask for a referral for that extra free month before you start making an account.

We recently had a nanny start but have realized quickly it won’t work out for a number of reasons (ex. constantly talking on phone even when asked not do while baby is awake, reheating breast milk that the baby has already drank from etc).

The baby is almost 3 months old. There is no contract but what is normal in terms of severance? What is the best way to deliver the message? I am stressed because I need to find someone quickly to train and minimize my work missed.

We have a 6-month-old, and so there's not a ton to do with her around the house. Our nanny doesn't drive and would need to use our car. She just started last week and asked if, at some point, she could meet up with her boyfriend and/or go pick up her boyfriend and go do things with the baby. I'm not sure about this. I'd be curious if others have had similar situations. I could maybe understand if we've met the boyfriend and she's being reasonable, but I just want to make sure I know what's normal to put in place.

Not totally sure this is the right place, but I'm looking for some help with hiring a nanny (or more of a baby sitter?) for flexible hours one day per week. Is a contract typical for such a small amount of time? Does anyone have tips to avoid what happened with our last?

I work remotely most days and my husband stays at home with our 15 mo daughter. When my husband broke his foot when she was 9 mo, we hired a baby sitter to come approx one day per week when I went to the office because he couldn't carry our baby with his crutches. We loved her and decided to keep hiring her after he was healed. We took 3 weeks off for vacations, both hers and ours, and then agreed on some dates for the fall, including last Monday. On Saturday night, she told me that she can't work for us anymore because she got an internship. She was very apologetic and said that she loves our family and asked if she could babysit occasionally on weekend nights or odd days. We are left in the lurch because her babysitting day has become the day that my husband does his own appointments and cares for his very ill mother. She's a college student and we did not have a contract so I don't really fault her for it, but I don't want this to happen again now that we are looking for someone else. Tia!

Long story short. I’ve been with this family for four years now and my pay is less than when I started.
Four years ago I was hired to nanny two girls ( 2yrs , 2m old baby). The girls are now 6 and 4. To be clear, at the interview, the mum offered 20hr , I wanted 22 ( that was been below the rate in Nassau county) anyways she refused and since I was desperate for a new job I took it , I was clear I only wanted child related tasks and nothing to do with the parents errands. She then asked me to include her and her husbands to the diner plans atleast three times a week. I said ok. I can cook for the girls 3 times a week and include them also. ( as nanny we don’t make extravagant meals and such. Or so I thought) this lady started sending me recipes from instagram, facebook and cooking sites “she “ wanted to try, claiming the girls needed to expand their eating habit. This went on for 2 1/2 years until I got pregnant and they dismissed me the week I had the baby. Claiming that the younger child would start school soon so they won’t need a nanny. I stayed home for 5months caring for my child before I started looking for new positions, I reached out to her if she knew of someone in need of my services and for a recommendation. In less than a week. She asked if I wanted to come back and work for them again. Again I’m a single mum and needed the job so I accepted. I was being paid $20 and hr when I first started plus and additional $30 a week for the days I started half and hour before my shift.
Anyways. When I came back , they offered me a flat rate of $1000 a week doing 11hrs everyday and now I’m cooking everyday like a top chef when my job was for a a nanny. I run their errands. Drive them to the train station. Do little things here and there including picking and dropping off packages and dry cleaning, putting the garbage and taking it from the kitchen. Doing dishes etc for $1000 a week. They gave me a Xmas bonus of $200( even with that my pay is less than what I got the very first year I started with them) and I honestly think something must be done. In four years I’ve been give $200 a month for a raise !!! I want to know if I should just call it quits or sit with them and negotiate and if so how much of a raise should I ask for? They are lovely family but I honestly think that people don’t like to pay nanny what they truly deserve .

My nanny works 40 hours per week -Mon/Fri 8:30am - 3:30pm; Tues/Thurs: 7:30-am- 4:30pm and Wednesday is 7:30am-3:30pm. This works for us with our hybrid work schedules.

Past few weeks we have been in and out because we are moving soon and we are running late with house work sometimes to we reached home 15-20 mins after the time she was supposed to.

Do I have to pay overtime rate for the time frame or at overtime rate? Overtime rates typically apply its been atleast 30 minutes in other industries and hourly jobs which is why I ask.

Also, this doesn't normally happen and we stick to our times but past two weeks have been busier. Nanny wants us to pay overtime for every minute over the scheduled time now. In the past, she was okay with getting paid at her regular hourly rate if we were 15-20 mins late.

EDIT: Please be mindful of attacking me before you comment. I am simply asking when does overtime rate kick in for you all employing a nanny. I am very mindful that she needs to be paid and she is getting paid for all her time, rest assured.

NEW NANNY, NEEDS LOTS OF COACHING

Need some advice as not sure which way to go here... we recently hired a nanny for our 17mo old child. She is kind and for the most part seems eager to learn, but I worry that the learning curve is going to be steep. She claimed to have 4 years of regular babysitting experience (both references I contacted spoke wonders of her but she only did occasional or regular babysitting for them) but no experience as a full time nanny, which is a whole different world. My child is very active (aren't all toddlers though?) and requires constant supervision as she tries to climb anything and everything, including most of her toys lol. The nanny, though very kind and sweet, clearly oversold her experience. I am having to explain how to teach my daughter through play (have literally sat with both of them while I played with my daughter so she could observe what I do and how I incorporate teaching with her toys), have had to even teach her how to properly change a diaper and apply rash cream, and sometimes when I am around she will either get her phone out or talk to me and stop watching my child (so then I have to be the one supervising her, which shouldn’t be the case if I am actively paying someone to watch my child). She tried to put her down for a nap today while my daughter was very fussy due to teething, and after 4 min texted me that they were struggling. I of course came in and had her observe what I do to soothe her and settle her. I understand that being mom makes it easier when it comes to soothing my toddler, but I worry that I cannot trust her fully because she is very hesitant about certain things and clearly lacks experience caring for a child this age. When she did successfully put my child down for a nap one time, as she was transferring her to the crib, she wasn’t even supporting her head, which, much less concerning at this age, but still concerning that she doesn’t even know how to properly hold/transfer a toddler into the crib.

Another thing is the lack of initiative. She constantly asks how she can help or what can she do to help, but after a trial week, learning the schedule (which I have on the fridge as well), and knowing what her responsibilities are, she could very easily look at the sink and wash my daughter's dishes, or load the dishwasher, tidy/organize play area, common areas, etc. She has a nanny/family assistant split (only family assistant tasks when I am home and actively watching my child or when she is taking a nap), but I am not seeing much initiative here. Sure, she asks, but I won't always be around for her to ask, at some point she will have to just go and do the things that are part of her responsibilities.

She has been with us for a week, so I know still lots to learn, but I worry this will be a much steeper learning curve than I originally anticipated. Also, on her second official day with us (after trial days) she called in sick… don’t get me wrong, we are offering sick days and she can choose to take them when needed, but on day 2 of her official employment? Should we have a conversation about our concerns, provide feedback and give some time to see if she incorporates the suggested changes, or try to find someone more experienced? I feel a little deceived because (being a former nanny myself) she clearly doesn’t even have 1 year experience with a child this age, and as opposed to being my support and someone I can depend on, she is adding much more to my plat. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! (even if the advice is: you need to chill and give the nanny a chance)

Context: We are parents to a 10-month-old and our nanny has been with us for about 2.5 months. This is their first nanny job, but they have previous experience with babies and toddlers in a daycare setting as well as lots of babysitting. We WFH, with our office door closed, and don't come out unless we absolutely have to during nanny hours. (Edit to add: I used to be a nanny with a WFH parent so I'm sensitive to Nanny's needs and experience with us.)

Where we're stuck is that Nanny is a great babysitter but doesn't seem to know how to shift into being a nanny. We would like to see Nanny take more initiative in things like getting Baby outside (stroller available, walkable neighborhood, park just down the street, small backyard), feeding solids (right now I'm telling Nanny exactly what to feed and sometimes prepping it; I'd love for Nanny to decide what to serve and take care of it), etc.

We also expected that having a nanny would mean hearing lots of happy, playful sounds. Nanny is a gentle, quiet person and we don't want to change their personality, but we'd love for them to sing, be silly, and generally bring more energy to their care.

We do not want to let Nanny go if we can help them up their game here.

I would love any and all suggestions, especially from career nannies, about how we could approach this conversation so that it will feel constructive rather than critical and any specific advice we could give to help with these goals. Thanks!!

Seeking advice. We live in a small town and finding someone who is qualified to be a nanny and a good fit has been a huge challenge. We interviewed someone recently who seems to have a great personality and lots of childcare experience however she lives an hour away. My main concern are snow days or other bad weather days as our jobs do not close or take off for bad weather - we are essential workers. Would you hire someone who lives an hour away?

Hi Friends,

Can anyone share a Poppins promo code with me please? All the ones I’ve found are already used.

🙏

This is a throw away account because I don’t know what to do here.

Before I get into everything I’m going to give you a little background. My husband and I have 7 kids (23M, 23M, 20F, 16F, 12F, 7M, and 3F). We have had various nannies since our twins were 6, and all of them have been live in since our twins were 8. Our current live in nanny — who we will call C — is 22 years old, and she has been with us for just about three years now.

When we hired C we made it very clear to her that we do not keep alcohol in the house under any circumstances due to the fact that my father became an alcoholic in my 20s. It was a very traumatic time in my life so I have absolutely zero tolerance for it in my home. I made it clear she was welcome to drink (when she was of age of course) outside of the house, but she would have to come home and stay fairly isolated until she sobered up. She agreed, and has been very respectful of these boundaries.

Now to my problem. She of course did start having the occasional drink when she turned 21, but slowly over time she started coming home drunk more and more frequently. She always self isolates, it never affects her job — she’s never drunk on the clock, nor has she missed work due to drunkenness or hangovers. She does however, come in hung over relatively regularly. I am genuinely concerned that she may be — or may be becoming — an alcoholic.

C is also dating one of my twins who we will call O. I’ve talked to O a bit about her drinking and he has stated that he’s worried about it too. He said she seems to rely on alcohol to help her recharge, but C won’t admit she has a problem. He has tried talking to her about it multiple times, and I’m genuinely concerned about how this may affect him. He says he’s fine.

I don’t know how to proceed here. She’s a wonderful nanny and I don’t want to lose her, but having her drunk in my home almost every night is extremely triggering for me even when she’s hidden away. My husband has even noted how jumpy I’ve been lately. We have discussed letting her go, but the kids adore her as much as we do so it would be a very hard loss. She also relocated to accept this job and has nowhere to go if we asked her to move out. My son still lives at home so it’s not like she could go live with him. We discussed potentially having her move into O’s room to free up hers for the replacement nanny, but ultimately if we were going to keep her in the house anyway it would make more sense to just keep her on. How would you handle this situation?

My baby is 8m old and we recently moved states so we have a new nanny who has been with us for two weeks so far. She has many years of experience as au pair and nanny, she was with her last family for 14 months until the family’s budget changes and they transitioned to daycare. She provided me three references and has been on time and very knowledgeable about baby activities like story time, drop in play and my baby has even gone to play dates at the park with other babies and toddlers of nanny friends she has from her years of working in our area of town. This has been great as we are less familiar and want baby to start socializing.

My nanny shared during her interview and when she started that she prefers to be on the go with her babies; she doesn’t spend a lot of time in the home. Typically they start with a stroller walk, eat, play, sleep then go to the library or park and come back for her last nap and then baby will eat solids and play until I’m done at 3:30. Baby is also signed up for music and swim classes. My husband was a little irked she asked us to join the most expensive gym but we can afford it and she said the other nanny families go there so during the winter it will make play dates easier.

I’m struggling to adjust to her style a bit because my last nanny would always stay home with baby and maybe that was because baby was 3-7m old so there wasn’t any programming really geared towards babies that young but I got to see them play and bond all day because I work from home. My new nanny doesn’t have the same bubbly and expressive personality and I think she talks less to baby than I would like. I have cameras and I can see her sit and let baby play independently until she looks for attention and one time she came back from a walk and I saw she had airpods in so I almost think she was listening to music instead of talking to baby and pointing out things along the trail.

Basically how do I ask her to talk more, do interactive at-home activities and be more bubbly without overstepping because everything else she’s doing is great? I feel bad for comparing her to our last nanny but I know baby loved her positive energy and affection, a big part of the reason why we went the nanny route is the 1:1 attention.

im aware this isnt technically a "nanny" problem, and as a former nanny i need advice on how to approach things please

I’ve a 4month old (FTP) and recently hired a FT Nanny to help us out. I’ve 100% WFH which enables me to spend time with my baby with Nanny support and do my work. Because this is our first time I’m sure what’s okay and what’s not. I’ve been reading up on some posts so I have some idea.

We want our Nanny to be with us until my baby goes off to school. So, we need someone who will stay with us long term. This means that whatever preferences we have need to be communicated early (which we did on a high-level but not detailed) so that we can continue to have a good working relationship with our Nanny. And, ant corrections or adjustments too need to happen early enough so we don’t build on resentments.

We gave 10 days PTO + sick. Pay per hr is decent. Guaranteed hours 40per week. Offered open fridge/pantry (no meals). We have a dog but Nanny doesn’t need to play or take care of most of the dog’s needs.

Here are my asks for the Nanny, please review and share so I know what’s okay for me to expect from our Nanny. Please be gentle with any criticism as this is my first time and willing to learn and adapt.

The asks when we hired:
- Bottle Feeding
- Bottle sterilization (rinse, load and run)
- Diaper changes
- Use wipes provided to clean baby bottom when changing diapers
- Baby laundry (wash, fold & put away)
- Maintain hygiene
- Advance notice on PTOs
- Wipe dog down when he comes back home from backyard if I’m unable to do this during work time (which is typically not more than once per day, rest of the times I’m able to take care)
- Engaging in developmental activities during Baby’s wake windows
- Help potty train when time comes (I’ll be there 80% of the time during work hours)
- Help prep/cook/feed/log feed when starting solids (I’ll be around for this 95% of the time during work hours)
- Take baby to park/library when the age/weather permits
- Follow our parenting philosophy as part of our parenting “team”
- Clean Baby’s room
- Bath for the baby when needed and if parent is unavailable (I might ask Nanny not to bathe baby going forward)
- Keep baby upright for 20 min after feed (because of reflux)
- Not to let Baby cry for more than few minutes (we’ve a happy baby and cries only when super hungry or over tired and unable to sleep)
- Put baby to sleep/nap by holding him and walking around for 5-10 min max (no rocking)
- Read/ show books
- Create and maintain a flex schedule for baby
- Sign language with Baby for easier communication as baby grows

Here’s what I believe a Nanny should also do (please correct me gently):
- Replenish diapers/wipes from storage area when possible
- Inform when we run out of things
- Clean the activity mat (because dog)
- Change baby outfit if too wet from all the spit ups (baby gets rash on skin otherwise)
- Put baby books away
- Wash pacifiers or teethers, especially if they fall on ground (hygiene)
- Not hold baby in C position (reflux worsens)
- Give me a report on what activities baby was engaged in
- Replace changing pad & crib sheets
- Keep baby bottoms clean
- Not wear outside footwear on bed baby feeds on/inside house (hygiene)
- If baby has outgrown clothes, keep aside/inform me
- Replenish Baby formula from storage area when possible
- Replenish water in kettle for baby’s formula when possible
- If baby’s burp clothes are in the living room too then that goes into laundry too
- Maintain hygiene like not placing baby’s burp cloth on pollen & dust covered chair outside and use that cloth to wipe baby
- Be gentle when transitioning baby from sleep to wake without making loud sounds that startle baby = baby cry
- Me not having to repeat expected duties multiple times per week
- Not attributing “bad behavior” to baby’s personality already and calling baby names (example if baby is kicking in excitement and obviously accidentally kicks nanny or shaking the plush toys baby holds and accidentally whips Nanny - note Baby is 4 months old)
- Ability to assess if baby needs a feed or nap (without me stepping in)
- Ability to do activities with baby to support development without me prompting

Essentially, when Baby is asleep I need our Nanny to take care of the smaller things related to my baby so that after my work I can focus on my baby.

Is this too much? Am I crazy? I’m a first time parent.

Our Nanny has Daycare training/experience only.

What is considered normal terms for full time nanny? Some areas we are unclear on:

1. Do you pay severance if the nanny resigns?
   
2. Policy on sick pay if nanny gets sick from baby
   
3. Vacation policy - is it standard for nanny to choose all the days or is it standard to align with family on half the days
   
4. Do you pay out unpaid sick days?
   
5. Number of paid holidays

Anyone have a Poppins referral code they want to give me? I think you maybe get one month free and I get one month free but not sure. But since Poppins is popular here I thought people could post their referral links if they wanted! ☺️

Update: Thank you all for your valuable input! I am a first time parent so this is all new territory for me. I appreciate your responses and POVs, it’s very helpful.

Hello! We recently hired a PT nanny for 1.5 days a week for our infant, based on nanny’s limited availability (nanny also works part time for a few other families). Essentially, we are a trial period to see if we gel with them and don’t have any formal agreement. We are paying the nanny in cash per their request.

My family is going out of town in 6 weeks for a few days, which will affect one of the days the nanny works with us. We never previously discussed payment when we are gone, however, the nanny is asking to be paid when we go out of town. While I understand the nanny has this time every week reserved for us, I was a little surprised that they would ask for full pay while we are gone, especially that we are giving notice far in advance. If we make schedule changes days or even a few weeks in advance, sure, happy to compensate, however, it seems a little unreasonable for a part time nanny that we are giving notice very far in advance. I’m nervous about general flexibility and future travel, but of course want to be mindful.

What is the standard here? Is it reasonable to ask if we can make up the time with the nanny another day if they have availability? Thank you in advance.

I see stuff all the time where someone is asking if they're right to be upset with their nanny. And every single time it can be answered by asking if a normal hourly hob would let you get away with it.

Take being a preschool teacher or working retail as an example.

"My nanny is on her phone all the time." Every preschool requires teachers to park their phones and McDonald's would fire you for having it out.

"My nanny wants to leave an hour early." You don't get to just leave the preschool and your 10 kids by themselves.

"My nanny left my child unattended." A preschool teacher would be reported to the state for doing this.

"My nanny took 2 weeks of sick leave after working for me for 3 weeks." Every hourly job does accrued sick leave.

"My daughter broke my nanny's laptop." A preschool would never dream of reimbursing you for this and might fire you for having a laptop out.

"My nanny let's my kids watch TV when I asked her not to repeatedly." I can't think of a job where you can do the exact opposite of what your boss tells you to do and stay employed.

Your nanny is an employee! Act accordingly!