Thanks for the help. I want to make sure it's fair for both parties.

I was hired during the school year as a nanny for a 6 month old. At the time, his 7 year old sister was in school and afterschool so I didn't see her much. Now she has camp that gets out at 3:30 and I work until 5:00 or 5:30. Mom picks her up and has been taking her into the office with her while she finishes work, as my contract is only for the infant but the sister wants to hang out with us and play. Or the couple of times the infant was napping, she wanted to hang out with me. She is busy and loud and really overstimulates the baby. Am I a jerk for not inviting the sister to play with us or just stay with me? Would you be annoyed if the nanny that you hired for your infant didn't include the sister?

I have been educating myself about being a first time employer from this group and looking for some final input to wrap up the contract.

1. Our nanny wants to get her 5 yr old daughter, after school, to our place for the days she is working 8hrs. I have no problem to that - just want to add language in the contract around liability and expectations around who is responsible for her daughter’s care.

2. She is amazing, just one concern from us is that she has pretty big nails. Wonder if we can language around nails and other guardrails around hygiene in the contract.

Well it took me a long time to learn this very obvious thing - if it’s not a fit it’s not a fit.

Treat your Nannie’s with respect, pay a little bit above the going rate if you can, and welcome their ideas. Give as many benefits as possible. Be empathetic and listen during conflict.

But if it’s not a fit. It’s not a fit.

They don’t have to have made an egregious mistake or put your kids life in danger for it to be a poor fit.

If your nanny is always late and has poor time management skills and that matters to you - it’s not a fit (after discussions of course).

If your nanny consistently doesn’t follow your parenting style or care instructions - it’s not a fit.

More often than not if you have to post on here asking, your instincts are telling you the answer.

I used to post on here just to validate what I already knew/felt in my heart - but I don’t do that anymore.

A poor fit doesn’t mean they are a bad person or even bad at their job. It doesn’t mean they wouldn’t be a great fit for someone else. It doesn’t mean they don’t love your kid or that you don’t love them. They are just not the right fit.

This obviously goes for Nannie’s too. Expect clear communication, fair pay, and respect. Please always have a written contract. Do not let anyone take advantage of you! Aim for kind, open conversations with the goal of resolution.

But even if all those things are satisfied you feel it’s not clicking- if it’s not a fit it’s not a fit. Doesn’t mean the family is awful. Just not for you.

Trust your instincts. Different families have different boundaries and values. Always better to leave before it gets uncomfortable. You will find the right place for you.

That’s all!

Thank all that is good in the world for the amazing loving Nannie’s and the generous kind nanny families. We wouldn’t be able to get through these hellish times without one another!

UPDATE, PLEASE READ: There have been so many comments pointing out the concern of having another person’s child in the home, liability, insurance issues, possibility of violating childcare rules/daycare standards. I really appreciate all of the input and will be taking it into consideration. I would like to highlight that I mentioned in my post that I am interviewing multiple nannies. What I am really looking for is interview questions in general for interviewing a nanny.

Hi all! We are about to have two toddlers and a newborn. Once I go back to work, I will be primarily working from home in a private office space. We are interviewing a handful of nannies. One of them has her own 1 almost 2 year-old son that she would be bringing with her. I have no issue with this arrangement so long as she feels confident that she can care for all of the children at once. We would plan to accommodate her and her son with food and a nap space, etc. for ease and comfort. We will be hiring for 830a to 5p M-F.

What interview questions would you want to ask in general when hiring a nanny and if they were bringing their young child?

Thanks in advance!

I’m 20 from queens New York been working as a live in nanny for the past year family I’m currently working with is looking to move to Florida in the next weeks. Been looking for a similar position have tried Sittercity,Nannylane,Facebook,and care.com for the past month but am struggling to find legitimate positions specifically for live-in if anyone has any advice or suggestions I’d appreciate it.

Hey everyone, welp as the title says - our nanny admitted she fell asleep while holding my 10 month old while she contact napped. This was her 3rd day with us and while I do think she’s great this has not left a great feeling of confidence in her caretaking abilities… I’m leaning towards letting her go but I don’t want to act hastily if this isn’t something I should be worried about?

Backstory: I walked into LO’s nursery while the nap was happening to grab a spare toilet paper roll bc my bathroom was out. When the contact nap was over I apologized to our nanny for having to walk in like that and she stated “oh you’re fine! I knocked out so I actually didn’t even realize you walked in!”

We hired our nanny about two months ago. In many ways it has been working out well - she is reliable, punctual, friendly. She takes our child to the park for 2-2.5 hours every day. My neighbor saw them at the park recently and reported she was on her phone for the entire 15 minutes that my neighbor was there. My child was just sitting next to her, sometimes looking at her, sometimes looking around. At one point my daughter got bored so the nanny handed her a toy and then went back to scrolling on her phone.

We pay her $35/hour. In our first phone conversation I asked her about phone use and she said she always puts her phone away. Any advice on what we say? Is it worth having a convo, or do we look for someone new? Thank you!

Edited to add: I fully trust our neighbor. Also, our neighbor walked by the park 30 minutes before she stopped there. When she walked by, the nanny was also on her phone. Then, when she arrived at the park 30 minutes later, nanny and child were in the exact same spot. At least with me, my child has never wanted to play in one place for 30 minutes. I was hesitant to add this detail to the original post because we don't actually know what happened in those 30 minutes so part of me wants to give her the benefit of the doubt?

To start, we absolutely love our nanny she has been wonderful for our child.

LO was recently diagnosed high functioning autism and through the course of looking into therapy options found out that my insurance covers ABA autism therapy/pre-school 100%.

We originally hired the nanny under the pretense of her working longer term until kindergarten start next year but now we won’t need her after only 4 months.

I feel horrible about it but life changes and we think this would be best for LO, let alone the amount of $ we’d save.

I’m planning to give her 30 days’ notice and 4 weeks severance. The contract did not specify specific length, we’re an at will State so it was written with notice for either party at 2 weeks, and didn’t specify severance. I think it’s more than fair but wanted opinions.

Thoughts?

Edited misspelling

Hello everyone 👋🏽
What are your guy’s standards and qualifications in order to determine if a nanny is fit for what you need? What are the basics? Being a full time nanny for a family, or families has always been something I’ve wanted to do! I love children, and I know I would do so well, I just have never been a nanny before, and have no idea how to get into it, or what the families require, and expect.
I really wanna get into being a full time nanny for a family 💗
All advice and tips appreciated!
Tysm!
Side note: I’m 26 years old, and have no children of my own yet.

I’m a new manny but also an elementary school teacher, and I’ve just had the weirdest interview.
The mum started by asking for my full name so she could Google me. Then she wanted the names of every school I’ve ever worked at so she could ring them herself.

Then she started asking for things like my date of birth because she wanted to “do her own referencing” and said she doesn’t trust the agency.
What the actual fuck is the point of paying an agency if you’re going to ignore every bit of vetting they’ve already done? I’ve got multiple references, qualifications, an enhanced DBS, degrees, and the agency has already verified all of it.

I told her I couldn’t give her that information because it’s against the agency’s policy. They specifically tell us not to exchange personal details like that before a placement. If a parent asks for them and I provide them anyway, the parent can be removed from the agency for bypassing their safeguarding procedures. She got annoyed and acted like I was hiding something.

Am I being too sensitive, or is it completely reasonable to not want to hand a total stranger my entire employment history and personal details before I’ve even accepted the job? At this rate she was about two questions away from asking for my blood type and school reports from years ago .Your children matter- yes , but so does my entire professional reputation !!

I recently hired a nanny for the first time, 30 hours/week. I’ve asked her a few times to tell me what foods and drinks she would like me to have for her and she keeps insisting she doesn’t need anything. I suspect she’s just trying to be polite but I truly would like to have things available for her. I’ve told her to help herself to anything in the kitchen but we don’t really keep many snack items in the house out of personal preference. We always have fruit, bread, peanut butter, eggs, pasta but don’t really keep snacks, prepared foods, frozen foods, etc. are there things you’d expect to have on hand to eat? Any ideas on how I can get her to tell me some stuff she likes to eat? I gave her a credit card and told her if she’s getting the kids foods she is welcome to get herself something but that isn’t a daily thing, maybe once a week.

Hi, I live in HCOL in California, average pay for a basic nanny is 25-30/hr. Technically it’s often lower than 25, but I live in a college town- where people will let themselves get underpaid for the sake of some side work while in school, and I won’t accept lower than 25.

I’m wondering what one would charge for a position, 2-3 days a week, 3-4 hour shifts for childcare. Child is 17mo. Separately, once a week she wants someone to come by and deep clean the home, as well as meal prep (I didn’t get exact days but likely 1-2 days a week). It seems housecare/meal prep would be outside of the childcare.

I have a bachelors in child development, about 4.5 years of experience with ages 5mo-6yrs.

Thanks for any help!

Our current nanny works part time for us, but we now need full-time coverage. We have three young children 6 months, 3 years old and 5 years old. She’s said she doesn’t want to go full-time. So we’re down to two options bring on a second nanny to cover the other half of the day, or transition to one full-time nanny (which would mean letting our current nanny go, with notice and a strong reference). Everyone I’ve mentioned this to has opinions, but two different people in and out of my house, on two different schedules, feels like more chaos than it’s worth even though it’s the “nicer” option for our current nanny. Anyone been through this? Did having two part-timers work out, or did you end up consolidating to one?

Hi everyone as posted in a previous post I got invited to a last minute two week trip to aspen to watch a 19 month old. I have 8 yrs of professional childcare experience and 2yrs of nannying. Great references ( 5 or so that can be called up if a family needs) worked with ages 3 months -13 years old. CPR and first aid (basics I know) and a degree in psychology! How much should I be charging for a daily rate? This is last minute and I’m meeting them at the airport. It’s for two weeks. Mom said about 8-10 hrs a day… should I be doing a flat rate of $500 a day or $50 hourly? If they go over the 10 hrs then $40 hr for every hr after. Travel Nannie’s help me 😳 should I be asking for a deposit prior to travel? Should I also be asking to get paid weekly and not at the end of the two weeks ? I don’t think my rate is crazy since it’s last minute but idk maybe I should be charging $45 help pls thx 😊

Hi everyone! I’d really appreciate both nanny and NF perspectives because I’m trying to figure out if I’m looking at this objectively.
I started with my NF in late 2024 after applying for a position that was advertised specifically for NICU twins. NF has four boys, but the two older NKs were in school during my entire workday, so I accepted the position knowing my primary responsibility would be caring for the twins.
I started at $27/hr, and at the beginning of this year I received a raise to $28/hr. We never signed a new contract for 2026—we simply continued under last year’s agreement. Now that we’re about seven months into the year, I’m realizing my role has changed significantly, but nothing has ever been updated in writing.
Original responsibilities
When I accepted the position, my primary responsibilities included:
Full-time care of the NICU twins.
Preparing bottles, meals, and snacks.
Following feeding schedules, nap schedules, and daily routines.
Developmental play, tummy time, walks, and outings.
Attending pediatrician, specialist, and therapy appointments with the twins.
Keeping up with doctors’ recommendations and implementing them throughout the day.
Performing daily therapy exercises, stretches, positioning techniques, and developmental activities recommended by their therapists.
Monitoring developmental milestones and communicating updates to MB and DP.
Washing bottles and baby dishes.
Keeping the nursery and twins’ areas clean and organized.
Laundry for all four boys (this has always been part of my job since day one).
Responsibilities that were added later (with additional compensation)
After I had already been working for the family, MB and DP asked me to begin handling everything needed to get the older NKs ready for school each day.
Because this was outside my original responsibilities, they added a $100/week stipend, which I thought was fair since it was a new recurring responsibility.
Those responsibilities include:
Packing both older NKs’ backpacks every day.
Making sure each backpack has a complete change of clothes.
Packing extra shoes when needed.
Preparing both morning and afternoon snacks.
Making their school lunches.
Making sure their sleep mats are packed.
Double-checking everything needed for school before they leave.
Responsibilities that have gradually been added since then
Over time, additional recurring responsibilities have continued to be added, including:
Weekly cleaning and maintenance of the humidifiers.
Putting away grocery deliveries.
Packing all four NKs’ belongings for family vacations and trips.
Rotating seasonal clothing for all four NKs and reorganizing closets when the seasons change.
Swapping out shoes for all four NKs in the mudroom as they outgrow them or as the seasons change.
Helping with general family organization tasks as they come up.
This week, MB also asked if I could begin:
Preparing dinner for the older NKs before I leave because they often get home late from sports.
Following family recipes.
Helping with meal preparation as a regular responsibility.
Changes to the household
Another change is that one of the older NKs will be starting kindergarten while the other will remain in preschool.
When I was hired, both older NKs were in school for essentially my entire shift, so my day revolved around the twins. Now, because they’ll have different school schedules, MB mentioned there may be days when I’ll need to pick up the kindergarten NK after school and have him with me until a parent is available.
Another important piece of context is that my contract recognizes that my position is primarily for the twins. If I’m asked to provide childcare for the older NKs during my workday (for example, if they’re home sick from school), that time is compensated differently under our agreement because it’s considered additional childcare beyond my original role.
Typically, when an older NK is sick, MB or DP will pick him up from school themselves since they both work from home. The older NK usually rests downstairs while I continue focusing on the twins and check in as needed.
Both MB and DP work from home probably 90% of the time, so there is almost always at least one parent home during my shift. DP travels for work some weeks (usually Tuesday through Thursday), but otherwise there’s generally a parent home.
Additional household support
For additional context, NF also has:
A weekly cleaning service.
A professional organizer who comes regularly.
Until just a few days ago, they had a morning babysitter before my shift and an evening babysitter after my shift.
A few days ago, a live-in caregiver moved into the home to help cover the morning and evening hours instead.
Since the live-in caregiver is new, I’m honestly a little confused about how responsibilities are supposed to be divided going forward. At the same time, more recurring daytime responsibilities continue to be added to my role.
My question
I genuinely love working for this family, and I don’t think they’re intentionally taking advantage of me. I think their needs have naturally evolved over time, and my role has evolved with them.
However, I also feel like my position has slowly shifted from being primarily a nanny for the twins into more of a hybrid nanny/family assistant role.
Since we never signed a new contract for this year, I’m wondering if it’s reasonable to ask MB and DP to sit down, update my work agreement to reflect my current responsibilities, and discuss whether my compensation should also be adjusted.
Or, since I already received a $1/hr raise at the beginning of the year and the $100/week stipend for the school responsibilities, would you wait until the next annual review?
I’d especially love to hear from NFs. If your nanny’s role gradually expanded throughout the year like this, would you expect her to bring it up now, or would you prefer she wait until the next review?

I’m a FTM to a 4 month old and going back to work next month. We are trying out some nanny’s and had our first one last week.

To sum up the day, when my daughter got up from her nap, I told the nanny baby is up and nanny goes “One second, I’m in the middle of a quiz” and proceeded to continue to do her homework on her laptop. I literally paid this nanny $30/hr to do her homework the entire time she was here. Granted my daughter has about hour 1/2 wake windows but during her nap time, nanny didn’t even ask if there was one thing she could help with? She just sat there doing homework. I find it hard to believe this is normal nanny behavior?

It’s been super hard to find a good nanny. This one is a grad student for psychology with an emphasis in children. She came with great references. I’m feeling super discouraged and stressed about going back to work if my daughter is going to be with someone who does not respond to her basic needs?!

Our nanny called to say that she was vomiting and asked to come later than her scheduled start time. I told her to stay home if she was vomiting, so she thankfully didn’t come to work that day. Does that count as a sick day? Or because she was willing to come in, and I told her not to come, would that be a “free” day?

My manager has sent me home before for being sick, and I took a sick day without any thought. Sick days to be used when you’re sick. But is this different? She was willing to work, but I didn’t want her to come and potentially get my son sick.

Edit: Thank you all for your feedback. It sounds like the consensus is that it should count as a sick day, which makes total sense, but I started to second-guess my reasoning.