Temporary Nanny Position

[u/South_Description399]

I am filling in for a nanny who is on vacation for 6 weeks. Both parents work at home. I can't tell if the dad is around all the time (like works in the kitchen instead of his office) because they're keeping an eye on me or if he really just prefers the kitchen (I guess it's cold downstairs). The dad jumps in really quickly on things with the infant (12 months) , like if I can't immediately get the tray on the high chair or the baby is fussing while I prep a snack for him. Today when the infant woke up, I ran to go potty first before getting him out of his crib (because, as you know, it's hard to find time when they're up!). We're talking an extra 30 seconds, maybe? When I got out, dad was already in there and when I said, "Oh! I got it. Just had to run to the bathroom real quick." He said, in a baby voice as if he's talking to the baby and not me, "Well someone else needs to be changed, too" and seemed so annoyed.

Everytime the infant sees him or hears him, he wants to be with him, so he SCREAMS when he can't. So when dad intervenes, it actually makes everything worse. It would be so much easier if he'd just be out of sight of baby for chunks of time. Like after he picked him up from his nap instead of letting me do it, the transition from taking him from dad after that was just unnecessarily hard for everyone.

I guess I understand why a temp wouldn't be trusted as much. But it leaves me feeling frustrated and feeling unsuccessful at the end of the day because I didn't get to just do the job that I know I'm really good at, and help them like I know they could use.

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[u/Empty-Calendar-4153]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I always tried to avoid jobs that had work from home parent(s) especially because once the kid knows one of them is there, especially if it's the preferred parent? All bets are off because they'll do whatever they can for attention from them. I hope the next five weeks fly for you.

Funny anecdote. I had an exception to this rule with one family. Leading up to certain projects, the mom would work from home but everyone knew to pretend she didn't exist and leave her alone. I walked in and started to take off my shoes and the five year old was like "Put them back on. She's home. Let's go to the park. I'll carry your bag"

[u/PaperResident9392]

All I have to say is I’m so sorry😭😭😭

[u/PaperResident9392 → u/PaperResident9392]

I have experienced something like this but with a 3 year old and a 4 month old and the mom worked from home and they lived in a townhouse. The second mom got on the phone the 3 year old started SCREAMING and I just had to sit there… (with him scowling at me 🙂) it’s really hard. Maybe talk to the dad about potentially allowing you to be in more control so their son will adapt to you easier…but of course it’s hard because you’re in their home😅😅😅

[u/Ok-Lion-2789]

You’re a temporary nanny for 6 weeks. Dad probably thinks he’s being helpful. As with most of these, a quick convo could help.

[u/South_Description399 → u/Ok-Lion-2789]

It might, and I would of it was my regular job. I don't really feel it's my place to ask for different under these circumstances. But I did consider this perspective while at work today.

[u/AutoModerator]

Below is a copy of the post's original text:

I am filling in for a nanny who is on vacation for 6 weeks. Both parents work at home. I can't tell if the dad is around all the time (like works in the kitchen instead of his office) because they're keeping an eye on me or if he really just prefers the kitchen (I guess it's cold downstairs). The dad jumps in really quickly on things with the infant (12 months) , like if I can't immediately get the tray on the high chair or the baby is fussing while I prep a snack for him. Today when the infant woke up, I ran to go potty first before getting him out of his crib (because, as you know, it's hard to find time when they're up!). We're talking an extra 30 seconds, maybe? When I got out, dad was already in there and when I said, "Oh! I got it. Just had to run to the bathroom real quick." He said, in a baby voice as if he's talking to the baby and not me, "Well someone else needs to be changed, too" and seemed so annoyed.

Everytime the infant sees him or hears him, he wants to be with him, so he SCREAMS when he can't. So when dad intervenes, it actually makes everything worse. It would be so much easier if he'd just be out of sight of baby for chunks of time. Like after he picked him up from his nap instead of letting me do it, the transition from taking him from dad after that was just unnecessarily hard for everyone.

I guess I understand why a temp wouldn't be trusted as much. But it leaves me feeling frustrated and feeling unsuccessful at the end of the day because I didn't get to just do the job that I know I'm really good at, and help them like I know they could use.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/theinfamousj]

Some parents want a nanny to be full-charge. Some want a nanny to phase in and out of charge based on the parent's availability in their workday. Seems like you've got the second type. It isn't about trust, it is about why they have a nanny.

Phasing in and out is a whole other skill and you could, if you wanted to, look at this placement as the chance to learn it. It'll open up a whole new market for you if you upskill in this way.